Mom to Alexander Michael

2nd trimester angel, born June 30, 2011 due to Incompetent cervix

and 10 early losses July 2004-Sept 2007

Calgary, Alberta Canada

My journey to become a mother started in July 2004. My boyfriend (now husband) and I discovered we were pregnant, I had just turned 20. The timing was not perfect and there were so many things going on between us in our relationship that we were not sure where this was headed, but we were excited. I had had a previous child in 2002 and had given him up for adoption, and since that day I had always felt I was missing that part of me that yearned to be a mother. I don’t regret placing my first child for adoption, I know I wasn’t ready and neither was the babies father, and the family I placed him with were very loving, and experienced a lot of loss on their journey. [Read more…]

Mom to 
“Baby Bean,” Born February 24th, 2010, Due September 4th, 2010
and Jakob Bean, Born August 17th, 2010, Due February 24th, 2011
LaVerne, California
My story is two, separate stories. I am a 30 year old woman, and after trying for nearly 2 years to become pregnant, on January 4th, 2010, to my surprise received a late Christmas present. I was finally expecting! Praise the Lord! I was ecstatic! I couldn’t believe it! 

[Read more…]

Multiple early miscarriages between 1999 & 2009
Puerto Nuevo, BC, Mexico
I found out I was pregnant the day before my third child’s first birthday party. I’d had miscarriages before, so I knew better than to announce the pregnancy, but we had a huge party and everyone was there and I was so excited. Very shortly afterward I noticed the faintest pink spotting. I tried to pretend like it wasn’t there, but over the next several weeks it came and it went, sometimes heavy, sometimes light, sometimes red, sometimes brown. Each time it changed I tried to tell myself a different story, make up a different excuse. It’s just old blood, it’s because we had sex, last time it stopped so this time it will stop too, etc…Normally when I miscarried I started bleeding, it grew heavier, and then the miscarriage happened, end of story. But that time was so much different that I convinced myself something different was going on entirely.

My Spanish is terrible, and the first obstetrician I saw didn’t speak a word of English so I had to have my husband translate everything. The doctor rushed through our appointment and didn’t even catch the fact that I was bleeding until I was dressed again and he was rushing us out the door. The baby was too small for a heartbeat at that point, so the ultrasound, and really the whole appointment, was for nothing. If anything at all useful was to be learned, it was lost in translation. We tried another obstetrician who did speak English, and that time there was a heartbeat. He diagnosed me with a subchorionic hemorrhage, which I’d never experienced before. My previous miscarriages happened around six weeks. At that point I had passed six weeks, and I had a non-baby-related reason for the bleeding, so even though I continued bleeding I was incredibly relieved and certain the bleeding would stop and the baby would be fine. And then the bleeding did stop. I stopped worrying, and my obstetrician didn’t seem concerned anymore. This was followed by a couple of uneventful weekly follow-up appointments.

[Read more…]

© 2011 Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope | PO Box 26131 | Minneapolis, MN 55426 | Contact Us