PicMonkey Image


Mom to Avery Rose, Everett James and Elliot William

Miscarried January 19, 2016, August 8, 2016 and Born May 29, 2017 and Died June 3, 2017

Aurora, Colorado

I completely believed we’d bring Elliot home.

I think that’s what strikes me now, on his due date, a little over two months after losing him. There is this stark contrast between what I fully believed and expected would happen, and what has actually happened. And my mind and heart cannot fully accept that Elliot will never be coming home.

This is not only the story about losing my Elliot, but about losing my faith. I tried at first to write this story without the faith aspect, but it’s impossible. I am grieving and grappling with two losses: the loss of my perfect baby boy, and the loss of the God I thought would protect him.

I will never have Elliot back in this life. But I have whispers of hope in my heart that someday faith will be a part of me again. Perhaps it is still, manifested in the anger and disappointment and confusion I feel toward God. I just don’t understand. And I can’t tell the real version of my story without sharing everything. Perhaps when I share this story in a year or five years or ten years, there will be something beautiful to share about how God met me here and healed me. But today, only two months later, there is just love and loss.

[Read more…]



Mom to Gentry Ann, born and died February 25, 2012
Savannah Elizabeth, born and died February 26, 2012

Memphis, Tennessee

I found out I was pregnant on November 9, 2011, after our first attempt at IVF. We found out we were expecting twins on November 28. After almost two years of trying to get pregnant, we were so excited to be expecting two babies. At the first ultrasound it was found that I had a subchorionic hematoma (SCH) next to Baby A, but it was small enough to not be much of a concern. The day after I was released from my fertility doctor, I was in the ER for heavy bleeding. But, an ultrasound showed both babies were doing great. The bleeding was from my SCH. We ended up at the ER again a month later for more bleeding, but again both babies were fine. At that time I was ordered to bed rest for three weeks. After about 3.5 weeks the bleeding quit, for the first time my entire pregnancy (at almost 17 weeks pregnant). [Read more…]



Mom to Caden Ryann (April 11, 2011 @ 11w2d)

Brady Thomas (August 9, 2011 @ 10w3d)

Portage, Michigan

My name is Christina and I have been married to my husband, Ty, for 4 years.  Shortly after we were married we conceived our first son, Hayden, who is now 3 years old.  Eight months later we conceived our second son, Connor, who is now 2 years old.  Both of my pregnancies were uneventful and aside from Connor being born at 35 weeks I had no complications. [Read more…]



Mom to Mina Kathryn
February 18th, 2009 – February 24th, 2009
Tacoma, Washington

The story of our baby girl, Mina, everything that happened leading up to her birth and then, her passing. Just a warning though, that I do talk about girl parts for obvious reasons, so if that’s too much information for you stop reading here. : ) [Read more…]


Mom to Kaden Nathanie
May 1, 2010
Sacramento, California

March 10, 2010: It was a Wednesday morning, when I started thinking. I thought about how I had been having a hard time making it from breakfast to lunch without a snack in between. I thought about how I had recently felt the need to nap everyday with my 8 month old. I thought about how I had cut back to 1 cup of coffee in the morning instead of my usual 3. Then I thought about the last time that all these things happened…so I took a pregnancy test. I had to take 2 tests before I truly believed, I’m pregnant…again! This was an unexpected, but nonetheless, exciting surprise. Once we got over the initial shock and worry of having a 16 month old and a newborn, we were nothing short of ecstatic about the new baby we would soon welcome.

March 19, 2010: The Friday before my first Dr.s appointment, my mom took my son and I out to do some shopping. After arriving home, I walked into the house and felt a gush of fluid. It was mostly clear, with a slight pink tint to it. Not having experienced anything like this with my last pregnancy, I asked my mom (mother of 4) about it. She said I should call the Dr. just to be sure and the nurse advised me that it didn’t sound like anything and to call back if I started bleeding. Hoping that she was right, I sat down to have lunch and then headed upstairs to put my son down for a nap. As I laid him in the crib, I felt another gush of fluid and this time it was blood. I immediately called the nurse again and feared the worst, that I was losing my baby. I was told to stay off my feet for the weekend and to come in for my Tuesday appointment. If I was miscarrying, which they didn’t seem to think I was, then there was nothing they could do about it anyways. Over the weekend my bleeding increased, regardless of the fact that I did nothing but lay on the couch and watch movies. I had resigned myself to the fact that I was losing my baby. I was heartbroken.

[Read more…]


Mommy to Sebastian Rush Scott
Born still on August 12th, 2010 at 21 weeks and 5 days
Mount Vernon, OH
The first person I told that I was pregnant, was my two year old daughter, Liliana… before I even took a pregnancy test.  I already knew that she would be the best big sister ever.  The next day, the home pregnancy test read positive and I took her to the book store to find a book about becoming a big sister.  That very book was her way of breaking the news to daddy:) 

[Read more…]


Mother to Juanito 
Born sleeping on December 29th, 2009
Orem, Utah
My husband and I have been married for 10 years now. We have 3 living children and one angel in heaven. When our youngest living son turned 1 I decided it was time to add one more to our family. My husband was not as convinced as I was and it took me a whole year to get him on board. We were able to get pregnant fairly easily. We had planned it perfectly. I would be able to teach pretty much the whole year and only have to take off the last month of school. I would get to have the whole summer with the baby and they would be 4 months old before I had to return to work. Things couldn’t have been planned better.

[Read more…]


Mom to Clark Douglas
Stillborn on July 10, 2008
Apple Valley, CA
My husband and I were blessed with two boys in 2001 and 2002. As they grew and entered school I knew our family wasn’t complete and after talking to our boys about how they’d feel with a little brother or sister, my husband and I started trying to add a third baby to our family.

I got pregnant very quickly, actually on our first cycle trying. I’d had very textbook pregnancies with my first two and expected everything to be the same the third time around. One afternoon we were visiting a friend and I felt a little gush. I went to the bathroom and noticed I was bleeding bright red blood. Being only 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant I was very scared that I was miscarrying. I prayed all the way to the hospital, which was an hour away. I remember repeating, “God, please hold this baby in your arms and keep him safe so I can hold him in my arms forever”

[Read more…]


© 2011 Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope | PO Box 26131 | Minneapolis, MN 55426 | Contact Us