Kelly Kittel

Mom to Noah Patrick, Jonah Emmanuel and 6 Siblings

May 18, 1996 – August 10, 1997 and May 14, 1998

Portsmouth, Rhode Island

Andy kissed me awake early. I drew in my breath, realizing my contractions were getting more uncomfortable. “I hope these are working,” I said. “That nurse better check my dilation today, or you’ll have to.”

“Gladly,” he said, grinning.

Easing out of bed, I followed him to the kitchen. After months of bed rest, waiting and worrying, I was ready to have this baby. “Have a great day,” I said, kissing Hannah and Christiana. “Maybe today we’ll have a baby.” For the first time in ages, I watched them skip off to school. The sun reflected off their blond hair and the dew in the grass, the spring air sparkling with new growth and possibility.

Andy and I headed back down the hall—I to shower, he to dress Micah—and soon I heard them arguing. “Pleeeeze, you only have to wear them for an hour.” Micah skipped in, dressed in the corduroy pants he hated. “See, Mom? They swish when I move. Are you coming to my music?”

[Read more…]


Mom to Hope Allison

Lost August 11, 2011

Rhode Island

My boyfriend, Brandon, and I met in kindergarten. We’ve lived in the same neighborhood for as long as I can remember.  The summer before our senior year of high school we started dating seriously.  He quickly became my best friend. We talked about our bright future together, getting married someday and having children in the future.  Being stupid teenagers, we thought the pull-out method was an effective birth control.  We were wrong. In April of our senior year of high school, I found out I was pregnant. Being only 17 and totally dependent on our parents, we were so scared.  However, both of us have awesome sets of parents and after the initial shock, they agreed to help us until we could both finish school. We made an appointment with my OB/GYN immediately.  I had an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and determine how far along I was.  I was 6 weeks on the day of the ultrasound.  My due date was December 21, 2012.  I was scared to death, but I loved my baby more than anything already.  I started researching everything I could to ensure I had a healthy pregnancy.  I figured I was already one step ahead since I don’t drink or smoke and I never have.  We started to get excited, despite my all-day morning sickness. [Read more…]


Mom to Everett

Born sleeping February 10, 2012

Wakefield, Rhode Island

Before his delivery date, my son had everything he could possibly need. We made sure he was registered for the car seat with the highest safety ratings.  We chose organic cotton onesies that were softest to the touch.  We even had the warming machine for the wet wipes.  Sisters were knitting hats, friends were making quilts, and grandmothers were already decorating the nursery in their mind’s eye.  Finally, he had a name.  Believe it or not, it came to me in a dream.  Maybe he told me himself – his name was to be Everett. [Read more…]


Mom to Gary

Stillborn December 14, 2011

Cumberland, Rhode Island

We had been married for two weeks when we found out that we were pregnant.  While we weren’t actively trying to get pregnant, we had made a conscious decision not to prevent pregnancy and we were thrilled to find out that we were expecting a baby!  Because it was so early in the pregnancy we decided not to tell friends or family that we were expecting until after we returned from our honeymoon.  We spent the whole trip telling strangers about our big news because we were so excited.  When we got back from the trip and told our parents that they were going to be grandparents, they could not have been happier.  If truly felt like everything was falling into place for us.  We had a perfect wedding day, a dream honeymoon, were in the process of buying a house, and now our dream of becoming parents was coming true.   [Read more…]


Mom to Baby

Miscarried at 9 Weeks – November 2001

and Elise Hope Meehan

February 20th, 2010 – February 20th, 2010

Cranston, Rhode Island

I am 29 years old and have been married for almost 9 years.

When I was 19, in November 2001, and dating my now husband, I was shocked to discover I was pregnant. I had been on the pill since I was 14 so this was extremely surprising. What was even more shocking was the doctor’s telling me that the baby did not look viable and that my uterus was tipped, my ovaries were a mess (covered in cysts) and I had a thin  cervix. Only 3 days later, I miscarried the baby. I had not even worked up the courage to talk to my boyfriend or any family, so I simply suffered in silence. I fell into a deep depression with the knowledge that I may never have children. I started to blow off work and school and eventually was dismissed from college.I had always dreamed of having a big family and that was gone. I shared part of the story with my boyfriend when he proposed to me in April 2002. I told him I did not know if I could give him children. Despite this, he still wanted me. We were married in August of that year and, because of my diagnoses, quit using the pill right away since it didn’t seem like we needed to prevent anything anyways. We left the baby making up to chance and were delighted to find me pregnant in August 2004 almost 2 years to the day of my marriage. At this point I still had not shared the fact that I had lost a baby with him. It was time to tell him and I broke down, mostly scared to death I would lose this baby too. At first he was mad that I had never told him, but then he just wanted to make sure I was ok. He is my rock. [Read more…]

Mom to Laura
Born July 8th, 2010, Passed away July 22nd, 2010
Pawtucket, Rhode Island
Around November of 2009, my fiancée and I found out I was a few weeks pregnant. Although we had not planned on having a child just yet, we quickly became more than excited! The first week in January of 2010, we went to our first appointment and found out that the due date would be August 1, 2010 and that we had a nice and healthy little baby growing. We broke the news to our  family and friends who also shared our excitement. My twin sister was especially thrilled because she has a young daughter of her own. 

[Read more…]

Mom to Isabella Rose
Born an angel on May 6th, 2010, at 37 weeks
Cranston, Rhode Island
From the first time I heard my daughter’s heartbeat at 8 weeks, I fell head over heals in love with her. I looked forward to going to the doctors and listening to her little heart beat and was so excited that it was always high,160+ because I knew I was having a girl, something I had always dreamed of. And on December 30, 2010 and ultrasound confirmed 100% that we were having a girl. Instantly we knew her name was Isabella Rose, and we talked to her a million times a day.

On January 4th 2010 my husband left for Army Basic Training, I was so sad to see him go, he was going to be gone for 4 months, but I did look forward to his return because he would be home right as I was about to give birth to our daughter. I had a perfect pregnancy, I had very minimal weight gain, my stomach always measured perfectly, and my little girl’s heart was always beating away. Literally after each visit my doctor would say I was perfect.

[Read more…]

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