Mom to Kylie Brielle
October 1, 2009 to October 15, 2009
Toney, Alabama

After five years of trying to conceive, 3 years of fertility treatments, including 3 failed IUI’s, we found out on our fifth wedding anniversary that we were pregnant- on our own! In the beginning, my levels (hcg, etc.) never doubled or did what they were supposed to. My doctor was expecting me to miscarry, but I didn’t. At nearly 8 weeks, my baby had a strong heartbeat. After that, my pregnancy was very normal. I was given a due date of January 1, 2010, and I was ecstatic. My miracle baby, the baby we were not supposed to conceive, would be a Christmas gift for all of us. In order to understand the outcome, I think it is important to tell what happened in my pregnancy first. Sorry this is so long, but I need to tell all.

In the first 3 months of my pregnancy, I lost 20 pounds due to the pregnancy and illness. I just couldn’t eat meat, or much of anything without getting sick! I loved fruit, and ate mostly strawberries, pineapple, apples, etc.

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Momma to Sophie
Born into the arms of angels December 27th, 2006
Montoursville, Pennsylvania


The story of Sophie, Born forever sleeping on her due date, December 27th, 2006

I loved her before I knew her.   She was and is my sunshine that waits for me in heaven.  She is my rainbow on a dreary day.   She is the pretty little redhead that I loved for 40 of the shortest weeks of my life while she was in my belly, and that I now get to carry in my heart and love for eternity. [Read more…]

Mom to
Emma Jade, EDD February 2nd, 2006, grew wings on August 11th, 2005
Bailey Jameson, EDD October 14th, 2007, grew wings on April 1st, 2007
Audrey Kate, EDD January 18th, 2010, grew wings on May 25th, 2009
Chemical Pregnancy – July 14th, 2009
Jonesboro, Arkansas

My first pregnancy was conceived with a boyfriend right after I graduated high school, I was planning on going to college and was so afraid because this wasn’t planned at all and the father did not want the “shame” of having a baby out of wedlock so he insisted we get married.  I told him no way. I couldn’t marry someone like him, I should have left him long before this.  When I told him no, I was pushed out of his truck and ended up losing the baby the next day.  I felt so horrible because at first I didn’t want to have a baby, I would never have an abortion and I believe everything happens for a reason, but at the time I thought it happened because at first the pregnancy was unwanted.  I felt so much guilt.  I left him and have not talked to him in years.

In December 2006, I married my husband, the love of my life.  We were on the birth control pill and had a pregnancy scare around the end of January.  I had been sick with the flu for weeks and ended up taking a negative pregnancy test, so we figured the flu had postponed my period.  I started taking antibiotics soon after for an ear infection, not realizing that would mess up the birth control.  We were moving out of state and my aunt and uncle threw us a going away party where we drank and had a good time.  I had no idea that I was pregnant at the time.  About a month later, my period had not showed up.  I didn’t worry much because this had just happened.  Maybe the move had put stress on my body.  I took a test, expecting a BFN and to my surprise it read “Pregnant”  I was so excited and so scared all at the same time.  We told all our family immediately.  We went in for an ultrasound at a clinic where ultrasound techs were being trained and we saw the beautiful little beating heart of our baby.  He (we never knew sex, we just had a feeling it was a boy) was measuring about 3 weeks behind what he should have been, but we were told that my dates could just be off since my cycle was messed up anyway.  On March 31, 2007, I woke up bleeding.  I panicked.  We went to the emergency room where the doctor on call told me he was 99% sure we were having a miscarriage.  I held onto that 1%, thinking that if I loved my baby enough, my love could save him.  Of course they did an ultrasound and the doctor told me that “there was never even a baby”  It was a blighted ovum, an empty sac.  No.  That couldn’t be.  We just saw the baby a few weeks earlier and even saw the beating heart.  He was wrong.  I had a picture at home of our child, not an empty sac.  We went home to my grandma’s and my cousin and his wife were living there too, she was a saint.  She had gone through this as well and was amazing support.  I was so scared.  I couldn’t do this again.  No way.  I fell asleep that night and then woke up about an hour later with a small cramp.  Every hour on the hour, I would wake up and the cramps were even stronger. I started bleeding heavier and passed my first clot about midnight.  I ended up waking everyone in the house because of my crying, thinking i had passed my baby.  My cousin’s wife assured me that it was just a clot and I would know for sure when the baby was passed.  Every hour I woke up with these horrid cramps, wondering why God would give me physical pain as well as the emotional pain of losing a baby?  It wasn’t fair.  With the first one, I was on pain medication so I didn’t feel anything at all.  This was new to me.  Why did it have to hurt like that?  Was I not going through enough emotionally?  We went back to the doctor the next morning, it was a Sunday and the doctor on call showed up in his Sunday church suit.  I felt bad for pulling him out of church.  Well, they did an exam and my body had cleared out almost everything.  There was still some tissue stuck in my cervix so they pulled out the rest of it and the nurse made sure I didn’t see it and wrapped it up in a towel and set it on the table.  When they left the room, I looked.  My baby was so tiny.  No bigger than my thumb.  I will never get that picture out of my mind.  We named him Bailey Jameson.  We decided we wanted to try for a baby, so the doctor said 3 months.  Exactly 3 months later, our daughter was conceived. She was born March 11, 2008 after being diagnosed with preeclampsia and being induced at 38 weeks, ended up with a csection because my blood pressure was so high, they thought I might have a stroke.

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Mom to Moira Mae
May 8th, 2009-May 11th, 2009
West Brookfield, MA
This is the story of Moira Mae, born May 8, 2009 and left this Earth as a beautiful angel on May 11, 2009. Moira was a much longed for miracle baby that was loved before she was even conceived. 
In late March, early April of 2008 we started the appointments with the fertility doctor. It had been a long year of trying to conceive with month after month of negative home pregnancy tests. Now we had some hope on the horizon for starting our family that we had wanted for so long. Finally in June we started our first round of Clomid and IUI’s (Inter Uterine Insemination). By Labor Day weekend, after 3 rounds of back to back treatments, we found out we were expecting our miracle baby who would be due May 6, 2009! 

[Read more…]

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