Mom to Samuel

Born and Died on October 1, 2015

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I married the most wonderful man and my best friend in September 2013. We decided we’d start trying to have a baby in January 2015, with the thought it may take awhile to get pregnant. I was so anxious and excited to get pregnant that I would take so many pregnancy tests. When I saw that first positive stick, I couldn’t believe it. Mark and I were supposed to take a vacation in Saint Martin in December 2015 and I remember telling him that I didn’t think we would be able to go. He said “why not”. That was when I showed him the positive test and said “Because I’m pregnant!” That was a happy moment.

I was so blessed not to have morning sickness or anything too severe. Smelling beer, charcoal grilling, and the dishwasher made me feel nauseous but that was nothing compared to some mamas. Mark swore we were having a girl because I craved sushi, couldn’t stand the smell of beer and charcoal grilling. Our plan was to not find out the sex of the baby. We all know that plans don’t really work out the way we intend though.

At 10 weeks, I bled. I bled a lot. I woke up early that morning and went downstairs to feed the cat and get some cereal. While downstairs, I felt something warm dripping down my legs which turned out to be blood. I thought I miscarried. I woke Mark and we laid in bed and prayed. I was so scared. I went in for an ultrasound that morning and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Our little squirming coil (as my husband liked to call the baby) was wiggling around and with a strong heartbeat. I was told I had Placenta Previa and was put on pelvic rest for 5 weeks. 

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Mom to Andreas (Lille)

Born and died April 4, 2001

Helsingborg, Sweden

I’m Helene, the proud mother of 3 boys: one with cancer, one without, and one who lives only as a memory in my heart.

On April 4th 2001, I gave birth to a little tiny baby boy, who was  far from ready for this brutal world , and who never would have been, no matter how I would have loved him and cared for him had I been given the chance.

He lives now only in my heart, in my memory of what was, and my dreams of what should have been. [Read more…]


Christian – 11/2008 at 9 weeks
Faith Christina – 7/22/2010 at 23 weeks (birth and death)
Chicago, IL

Most of our story started in July of 2008. My husband of almost 2 years at that time and I decided we wanted to start our family. I saw my first positive pregnancy test on October 15th, 2008. We were thrilled, and it only took us 3 months of trying. Our due date was June 18th, a perfect time of year to be off for 3 months with a brand new baby.

My morning sickness didn’t kick in until I was about 6 weeks along, and I was miserable! I couldn’t eat anything and was always on the verge of being sick. At around 9 weeks, the sickness subsided significantly. I remembered emailing friends worried that it may be too soon for morning sickness to subside, and think something might be wrong. I wasn’t cramping or bleeding, so I knew I wasn’t having a misscarriage, so just figured I was lucky and my morning sickness just wasn’t as bad as most.

We had our 11 week appointment on November 25th. I went alone, so my husband did not have to take off of work and I was told there wouldn’t be an ultrasound, so really did not think it mattered if he made it or not.

As I sat in the room, a thought crossed my mind, what if something were wrong and my husband isn’t here… what would I do.

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