Mom to Evelyn May

Born April 29, 2012 and died June 6, 2012

Las Vegas, Nevada

I am writing this exactly 3 weeks after my precious little girl passed away in my arms.

It all started December 21st, 2011, when we found out we were expecting. I went to the store off of a hunch that I was pregnant (despite being on the birth control pill for over 2 years) and bought 2 pregnancy tests. I knew deep down that one positive test would not convince me. As soon as I got home, I took the one, positive, and then the other, also positive. I was shocked! To unexpectedly have a baby is a scary and exciting feeling wrapped into one anxious, live-changing moment. I called my boyfriend into the bathroom and fell to my knees crying. The fear that he would be upset was in my heart, but to my surprise, he picked me up and held me. I said to him, “What are we going to do…?” He replied with a smile, “We’re going to have a baby, that’s what we’re going to do.” I went telling my whole family about the change in our lives. I even took a third pregnancy test that night to be EXTRA sure. [Read more…]



Baby Sala

Early Miscarriage April 2010

Cooper Michael

August 19th, 2011 – August 28th, 2011

Wichita, Kansas

My husband, Michael, and I had been married for a little less than a year when decided wanted to start our family.  We decided we would let nature take its own course, we weren’t ‘exactly’ trying but we weren’t preventing either.  When it happened it would happened. We were extremely surprised to get a positive pregnancy test the next month. We were so excited; we called everyone we knew to tell them the exciting news! Less than a month later we were devastated to discover that the baby had never developed. It was extremely heartbreaking to have to tell everyone that we had lost our baby. [Read more…]



Mom to Will

Born March 5th, 2011

Passed Away April 2nd,2011

Lyman, Wyoming

My name is Becky and I am the mother of my beautiful baby boy, Will, who was born March 5, 2011, and passed away April 2, 2011. [Read more…]


Mom to Kylie Brielle
October 1, 2009 to October 15, 2009
Toney, Alabama

After five years of trying to conceive, 3 years of fertility treatments, including 3 failed IUI’s, we found out on our fifth wedding anniversary that we were pregnant- on our own! In the beginning, my levels (hcg, etc.) never doubled or did what they were supposed to. My doctor was expecting me to miscarry, but I didn’t. At nearly 8 weeks, my baby had a strong heartbeat. After that, my pregnancy was very normal. I was given a due date of January 1, 2010, and I was ecstatic. My miracle baby, the baby we were not supposed to conceive, would be a Christmas gift for all of us. In order to understand the outcome, I think it is important to tell what happened in my pregnancy first. Sorry this is so long, but I need to tell all.

In the first 3 months of my pregnancy, I lost 20 pounds due to the pregnancy and illness. I just couldn’t eat meat, or much of anything without getting sick! I loved fruit, and ate mostly strawberries, pineapple, apples, etc.

[Read more…]


Mom to Nathan
October 9th, 2009 – October 25th, 2009
Imperial, Missouri


Mom to Johnathan JT Thomas Michael Poling
August 29th, 2006 – May 17th, 2007
 We were blessed with the birth of our son on August 29, 2006. He was born 15 weeks early, and weighing a whopping 1lb 15 1/2 ounces and 13 1/4 in. We name him Johnathan Thomas Michael Poling,  JT for short. His name was a long as he was. We laughed about that. My husband didn’t want a Junior but, me and his mom threw the Michael in there. My husband’s name is Michael Thomas, so, either way you put it, he was a junior in a round about sorta way. JT was also named after his great grandfather whose name was Johnathan Thomas. I had placenta previa complete with JT and my placenta abrupted and I started bleeding uncontrollably, So, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks it was emergency c-section time.  
I remember the first time I seen him. All I seen was a little knee lifted up in the incubator and I totally fell in love with that knee. From that day forward I promised him that I would do everything I could to make sure that he was loved and would one day come home healthy and whole. Well, the Lord had other plans for JT. JT was born with 2 holes in his heart and was on a ventilator for breathing. He was over 3 months early and oh boy did he fight everyday of his life. At 5 days of life he had a failed heart operation to close a pda and at 10 days of life he had an operation for NEC which is Necrotizing Entercolitis. This is basically dead bowel. He came through both surgeries like a champ. He also had several other surgeries, another heart surgery and 3 other bowel surgeries and 2 surgeries on his eyes for Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP). JT needed a small bowel/liver transplant that was never to be because he had not yet gotten his hole in his heart fixed and we learned that it wouldn’t be able to be fixed because if they closed it, he wouldn’t make it through the surgery. On May 17th our precious boy left us. He went home healed and whole. Our prayers were answered but, not the way that we wished them to be. Through out his short life, we were blessed beyond measure. A little preemie that wasn’t supposed to last the first 24 hours of his life, we were blessed with 8 1/2 wonderful months. God was there for us and with us and holding us up through out this time. He sent many angels into our lives to help us also, whether it was prayer, financial, friends we had never had before, support and love. And with out any of the them, I am sure the orchestra that was JT’s life wouldn’t have been so rich with the blessing we received.

I miss my Bubba’s everyday with everything I have.  My heart broke into a million pieces that day.  God answered my last prayer and that was when it was time for him to go that he not be alone and not alone he was.  He was surrounded by so many  family and friends that there wasn’t much room in that room we were in.  I thank God everyday for that.  For giving me the opportunity to be a mother to him for the last time and supporting him in passing away from this world to the next.

[Read more…]


Mom to Calypso Paikea Rhyder Lane
June 14th, 2007-July 7th, 2007
Martinsville, IN

At 9 weeks I started bleeding and they swore up and down I was losing the baby….. I didn’t. We breezed through the next few weeks easily until 18 weeks. I had been spotting. Went in for an u/s. Calypso’s amniotic fluid was at 1.5 (4.5 is critical) the u/s lady kept asking me if I had been leaking. I told her no, no I hadn’t. They scheduled me for a recheck in 2 weeks saying she probably just needed to pee. [Read more…]


Mommy to Leila, born at 23 weeks, 5 days
March 22nd, 2010-April 9th, 2010
Portland, OR

November 13, 2009 I found out that I was pregnant. I remember that day because it was Friday the 13th. What a scary day that was. I was 19 years old and had no intentions of getting pregnant, but it happened. I knew this was going to be a bad thing to everyone else, but me? I was ecstatic. All I did was touch my belly and picture the months to come when my belly would be protruding with baby. I looked in the mirror and smiled. I smiled at the thought of growing a little person in my belly. I knew I would be a good mother. Although not ideal at this point in time, I was ready for what motherhood would bring.

My pregnancy progressed pretty quickly. After the first trimester, time flew by. I went to my appointments every 4 weeks and all of them were normal. My baby was right on schedule with the expected due date of July 13, 2010. I was having a summer baby and couldn’t wait. At 16 weeks I felt my baby kick for the very first time. I remember it like it was yesterday. I felt like someone was poking me really quickly from the inside. I was smiling from ear to ear. I absolutely loved when I felt the baby kick.

[Read more…]


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