Mom to an Angel, who left me October 28, 2010


James Ethan, who we said goodbye to on January 11, 2012

Holland Patent, New York

My journey began 2 years ago when I first held the positive pregnancy test. [Read more…]


Mom to 9 angels

January 2001

March 2004-set of triplets

November 2004

March 2005

November 2008

March 2009

July 2011- Dallas James

Des Moines, Iowa


In 1998, at the ripe old age of 16 I found that I was pregnant.  Terrified and unsure of what the future held, I hung on to my pregnancy and was determined to be the best mother possible to that little child that I was carrying.  My mother asked me if I wanted an abortion, I refused.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and I thank God that my mother was not more persistent.  Had she forced me into an abortion, I would have never been able to experience the joy that my son has been able to offer me.  That pregnancy went perfectly.  No complications at all.  I did gain a ton of weight, but I suppose that is natural given the large amount of food I was consuming. [Read more…]

Mom to Baby Hooper
Lost July 27th, 2007
South Riding, Virginia
Never in a million years did I think I would have to tell this story-now I feel like it’s my time to let this all out of my heart.

[Read more…]

Mom to Baby
September 17th, 2010
Rochester, Minnesota

At the end of July 2010, I took a pregnancy test. Two Lines! Yay! My husband and I were excited and nervous at the same time, as this was our first pregnancy. We set up the initial appointments and consultations. Two days before our initial appointment, I started bleeding. We figured it might just be implantation bleeding, so the doctors did an ultrasound. Though it would only be 5-6 weeks at this point, they didn’t see an embryo, and were concerned for possible ectopic (in the fallopian tube or ovary) pregnancy. They took 2 consecutive HCG (pregnancy hormone) tests, and the levels doubled as they should have.
The next week at the ultrasound, they still didn’t see an embryo. The HCGs went up again, but since the HCGs did not double, the doctor ruled out ectopic pregnancy and said it was most likely miscarriage.
The week after that, there still was no embryo and the doctor confirmed it was a miscarriage. The doctor said it would happen in a matter of days due to the amount of blood in my uterus.
Fast forward three weeks: still no miscarriage. The doctor did another ultrasound and still no embryo was to be found. My HCGs had spiked through the roof and there was definitely something in my uterus. Based on the ultrasound, the doctors suspected it might be a molar pregnancy, a genetic abnormality beginning at conception that produces abnormal placenta-like cells that keep growing. Since there was no embryo, the doctors recommended a dilate & curettage (D&C) to remove the contents of my uterus. After the surgery, it was determined that I indeed had suffered from a Complete Molar Pregnancy, where the DNA in the egg either isn’t there or does not activate, but there is still DNA from the sperm, so the cells start dividing and growing anyway. The doctors were pleased at how well the outpatient surgery went and I went home to recuperate.
Fast forward one week: my HCGs fell over 90%! Great news!

[Read more…]

Molar Pregnancy
December 10, 2008
Acworth, GA

I always wanted my children close in age. 2 years apart at the most. I was so excited when I got pregnant and found out they were going to be 21 months apart. PERFECT!! Everything was going well, I had early blood work (around 5 weeks) because I was spotting. I had low progesterone with my son so I was started on progesterone just as a precaution. My hCG was doubling like it should so I was reassured that the spotting was normal.

I had my first official OBGYN appointment at 8 weeks, 6 days. I was excited for the ultrasound. To see that little heartbeat. When we got to the office they took us back to the ultrasound room.  It was the probe ultrasound, which is vaginally. As soon as the tech put the probe in, I knew something was wrong. I could see nothing. No sack, no baby, nothing. Just white. Like a snowstorm. That’s when the tech started asking questions. Were my periods regular? Had I had any bleeding. She then told me what I knew already, that there was no baby.

[Read more…]

Mom to Identical Twin Boys, Michael & Brendan, Stillborn May 2005
7 week loss September 1998
9 week loss July 1999
4 week loss January 2000
Complete Molar Pregnancy April 2000
Plainfield, Illinois
Where do I begin? First of all, as you read this you may think “right, no way all of this can happen to one person.” Well, I wish it hadn’t, but it did. Also, it takes a lot to explain all of this loss so you may need to read in segments. I swear, I could write a book.

[Read more…]

Three Miscarriages
One Molar Pregnancy
In October of 2002 I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child. It was an unplanned pregnancy and completely caught me off guard. But as I had with my older 3 children, I was willing to welcome this baby to our family. 
A month later, I started having some mild bleeding. I went to the ER and they gave me an ultrasound. The doctors said it was still early but they could see a fetal pole and everything matched up date wise. I was sent home to relax. Over the next few weeks I would spot some days and have no bleeding other days. I knew something was wrong. I finally went to my regular OB/GYN. He did another ultrasound. The baby had not developed any since the ultrasound at the ER. I was taken to a back room to receive the news. I knew as soon as the tech started leading to the back of the building I was not going to hear good news. They handed me a phone and I heard the familiar voice of my OB. He told me the baby had stopped growing. He told me to go home and the baby would pass in  a few days. I waited for another week and nothing happened. So I had to have a D & C. I was heart broken. The operation was fast a pretty much painless. I was an emotional wreck for a few more days.

[Read more…]

Mom to our Little Sea Monkey
Gone to Heaven August 4th, 2010
Happy birthday to me!! June 21st 2010 I get my first positive! holy cow! I can’t explain what I felt, What a birthday present!!  Though it was unplanned, It was very exciting!  Things were going great! we’d been to doctors’ appointments, talked about names, re-arranged our bedroom, as we have a small apartment, and were going to share our room with the baby! Everything was going great! I didn’t even have any morning sickness! Then one day I had a little pinkish color when I wiped after going pee.. I called the dr. in a panic, as I have had a miscarriage in the past. They told me from what I explained to them that it just sounded like a little healthy spotting, and not to worry… I had it a few more times that week, never more then just a stain on the paper when I went to the bathroom. Then, as fast as it had started, It stopped, and I thought to myself ‘thank God! Now I won’t be so scared to go pee!’

[Read more…]

Mom to Olivia Marie
Born on May 6th, 2010 at 18 weeks, 2 days gestation
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I am 29 years old and live in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I am married to a wonderful man named Gary. We will be married for two years on July 12th. :)

We decided that it was time to try for a baby. After just one attempt, we got pregnant!!! I don’t think words can describe how happy we both were to be welcoming our first child. The pregnancy was great…at first. I had it very easy. No morning sickness, no nausea. It was great!

One day at 8 weeks, I began spotting. I rushed to the doctor and my husband met me there. When we got there my doctor told me that if I was miscarrying, there was nothing that could be done. I was so scared. I wanted this baby so badly and prayed that I wouldn’t lose it. My doctor sent me to get an ultrasound, where I saw the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My baby’s heartbeat. Sweet relief came over me. Afterwards, the tech gave my doctor the results and she told me that everything was fine and that it is common for some women to spot during their pregnancy.
The next two weeks were uneventful and glorious! I walked around knowing that I was nourishing a life in my womb. This was so powerful to me!

[Read more…]

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