Mom to Lewis Jack Warner
December 29th, 2010
Indianapolis, Indiana
I married my high school sweetheart, Jon, nearly eight years ago. After years of playing with nieces and nephews and talking incessantly about what our children would be like, we decided it was time to expand our family. On September 27th of last year we saw two pink lines. We jumped up and down. We kissed. We danced. We nicknamed our little one Ziggy. We immediately shared the news with family. We only made it a few more weeks before we told the world. My due date was set for June 7th, one day before my birthday. My pregnancy was great. Other than being tired and having some headaches, I felt wonderful. My baby bump grew fast, and I loved it. I couldn’t wait to look down and not be able to see my toes. I was blessed to be able to feel butterfly kicks really early too. I never imagined that those kicks wouldn’t get stronger.

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Mom to Baby Fletcher, Lost August 2008
and Baby Fletcher, Lost October 2009
Bloomington, Indiana
My first loss occurred in 2008. I had recently lost my father to cancer and went through a terrible divorce. In the midst of my grief I met the most wonderful man that became my rock and shoulder to cry on. In the summer of 2008, (and after only a few months together) we learned we were pregnant.

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Mom to Vayda Sue
Born November 2nd, 2009
Died November 5th, 2009
Franklin, Indiana
I feel as though my story is a little different than most.  I met my boyfriend at a dance studio.  I was the teacher and he was the student.  I met him when I was 20 years old while he was 56.  Age is nothing to me, but that is a big leap…just sayin’.  He took lessons for a year and that’s when our teacher/student relationship turned into something more.  I didn’t tell anyone, because number one it was against policy and more importantly number two our age difference.  I wasn’t quite sure where this relationship was going to go.  About two months later it all had to come out.  Still not sure where this relationship was going I quit my job.  Not just because of the relationship, but it definitely helped push it.  

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Mom to Leilah
Stillborn September 8th, 2010
Kokomo, Indiana

My husband Jared and I were so excited when we found out we were expecting our 4th child.  Our due date was November 15, 2010.  I was nervous because I had suffered a miscarriage in 2006 and in 2008, both at 7 weeks.  We found out that these were due to low hormone levels so I was taking some hormones and we were hopeful.  We have 2 boys and 1 girl and were hoping to have another girl.  All of my pregnancies with the first 3 went fine.  No problems except at delivery I wouldn’t dialate past 2 so I had to have c-sections.

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Mom to Sparrow Liran
Miscarried July 16th, 2010
Elkhart, Indiana
On Tuesday July 6th of 2010 after waiting almost a week for my period to start I took the pregnancy test that told me I was pregnant, and then I took another, just to be sure.  In hindsight, I should have known, feeling nauseated all the time, constantly having to pee, pulling feelings in my pelvis/abdomen, all of the signs were there. I can honestly say that as badly as I wanted that baby, I was in a state of shock, I fell in to my husband, Michael’s, arms and just cried. 

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Mom to Eden Elisabeth
Born still September 19th, 2007
Indianapolis, Indiana
My husband and I, having been married for 2 ½ years, decided that we wanted to start trying to conceive, so on January 2, 2007, when I took my first home pregnancy test, we were thrilled!  In the spring, we found out we were having a girl, which my husband was kind of nervous about at first.  He had originally wanted a boy, but as my pregnancy continued, he got more and more excited about our Eden! 

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Mom to Emma Gayle born still on February 5, 2006
Baby Girl Wright Miscarried on March 1, 2010
Fredericksburg, Indiana
Many of you have asked ” What happened to Emma?” and I had written a story about my loss and have shared it many countless times in hopes that people come to realize that it is my grief journey and that I am here always for those of you who have gone through a loss. You see a loss is not just a miscarriage a loss is your whole world. TO me a loss is a loss no matter how far along you were. Hopes, dreams, love shattered. I want to share it…I think I have been healing through it and I hope that my light will shine in the darkest of days for those who are feeling alone in it.SO here is the story I have shared and I pray it may bring comfort to those who have gone through it, hope for the future and also understanding of who I am today and what I have gone through to get here…GOD IS MY STRENGTH!
Hello. I too am a mommy with empty arms. I was a mommy with a head full of dreams and a heart full of love for my little Emma, yet to be born. But stillbirth, the destroyer of dreams took my whole world away.Here is my story. I feel I need to share it to heal and to reach out to others who have been there or may not be aware of how human we parents are when this happens. I didn’t know anything like this even existed. I only knew about people having babies or just miscarrying early in pregnancy. Not losing them later or even at birth. We need to come together to help get the word out on this tragedy that we have had to face. There is not enough research on this horribly devastating issue nor is there any true way to prevent it from happening. We have to come together and also let our friends, family, neighbors, etc know that we were PREGNANT. We had a baby. We can’t just act like it didn’t happen. It hurts more than they could imagine forever. They just don’t know what to say or to do but if we reach out to them and share our stories, maybe it will open some eyes. I know some states don’t even give birth certificates or even acknowledge the birth. That is heinous. It seems so unfair. I am human, I had a baby,I hurt, I cry and there is reason for it. I would like to share my story with you. I will try and not pour out my heart to where you would need Kleenex, but I am human, I am a mommy with empty arms.
My first pregnancy. Wow. I was so excited. It was a girl and she was healthy and things were going great. She was active and had a lot of hiccups every day and most of the time it was all day long. I had prayed for red curly hair…but I had heard that if the mom has the hiccups then they would have a head full of hair. So I wasn’t sure why she had them. I never got morning sickness and was doing great most of the way through. I had a few times that I had itching and had to take benadryl (which they said was safe…I still took children’s benadryl and usually only took a small a sip). I was worried about her and did not want to jeopardize her in anyway. We were doing great.

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Mom to a baby lost to miscarriage, May 2009
and Emmalyn, born at 20 weeks on June 19th, 2010
We decided that we would not have children for the first five years of marriage. We wanted to have time to enjoy each other and the ability to go to the store late at night…to go to a movie without thinking about it…to just get up and go. We were married in May 2007. Quickly after marriage, our “plan” went right out the window. I caught “baby fever” quickly. Family and friends seemed to be having babies left and right. At one point, there were seventeen people pregnant!  We decided to start trying in April 2008. 
 I went off of the pill in April and we tried to get pregnant with no results except for frustration. I scheduled an appointment for March 2010 to discuss with my OB what our options were for our apparent fertility issues. Two days before that appointment I discovered that we were pregnant. I had bought a card a year before for him that described how to diaper a baby based on a baseball diamond. I finally got to use this card! I remember him standing in the kitchen repeatedly screaming, “Are you serious?!!” He was so excited. WE were so excited.

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Mom to twin boys Bryston Gabriel and Colton Joseph
Born and passed on August 15th, 2010 at 22 weeks, 1 day
Camby, IN
I am blessed with two amazing daughter’s. Tianna, who was born in 2005 and Aubrianna, who was born in 2008.

In 2009 I went to the doctor because I wasn’t having my period. It had been over 3 months at that time. After doing some tests I was diagnosed with PCOS. Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. We weren’t ready to have another child at that point so I started taking the birth control pill and my periods came back and became regular. In February of 2010, my husband and I decided that we wanted to start trying for our third child. We were told that it could take a year or more to get pregnant and that we may even need fertility treatments. On April 10, 2010 I took a pregnancy test. I was not expecting it to come back positive, but it did! We were in shock. We conceived in a little over a month and without any medical help. On May 4, 2010 my husband and I went in to have an ultrasound done. We were told that we were 7 weeks 3 days pregnant and that there were two babies!

We were in shock to say the least. But both of us were so excited. I had an ultrasound 2 weeks later and then once a month after that.

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Mom to Drew
May 6th, 2010

On May 5th, 2010, I was at work early trying to finish up several projects so that I could leave for my 16 week appointment that afternoon. I remember feeling happy that morning. I had the tape recorder ready to record the baby’s heartbeat. My husband was going to be able to take off early to meet me there. I still remember having the strangest feeling that morning. I bent down to pick something up and felt a little butterfly. At the time, I wondered if I had felt the baby kick. Even now, I wonder if that feeling was little Drew. When I sat up, I just “knew” that the baby was a boy. I wrote a little note in my day planner, “I think the baby is a boy.” I wrote my husband an email at 9:19 that morning and told him about the “weird feeling” that I had had. He wrote back one of his loving one-sentence responses, and we both went about our day. Little did we know how awful that day would turn out.

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Mom to Charles Avi Edward King
Born June 14th, 2009 and left us June 15th, 2009
Lafayette, IN

Our story begins in the Fall of 2008 when I first found out I was pregnant. We were elated at the thought of welcoming our first into the world. That period of our life though was far from easy and before we ever had the chance to tell my fiance’s mother, she passed away in a horrific accident. The news of his coming was a light in our lives and kept us grounded. My pregnancy progressed with ease and around 30 weeks we found out we were having a little baby boy, our Avi.

During the end of my pregnancy I had been experiencing some fluid leakage and had been tested several times to see if it was amnoitic fluid. All tests were negative. Several days before I experienced labor pains I experienced large amounts of fluid. I contacted my OB’s office several times within that period to alert them, their responses were all, “don’t worry about it until you have contractions.” Only July 13, 2009 I experienced contractions. They again were very lax about the situation and told me to come in when the contractions were three minutes apart. By then, I could no longer take “no” for an answer.

So we quickly went to the ER regardless of their advice. Upon arriving the OB on call checked my cervix. My water had already broken but my cervix was only slightly dilated. This meaning that my water could have broken in any time period between that morning and a few days prior. I was mortified, especially when the doctor was angry with me for not coming in. Before I could answer, they also found out that the cord was wrapping around his throat three times.

His heart rate was dropping. My sweet baby had been in this state without the cushion of amnoitic fluid, he was being suffocated. I was rushed to the operating room, where an emergency c-section was performed. When he arrived into this world he was silent and my heart stopped.

Within a minute, maybe two or three I heard one soft cry. At the time it was a glimmer of hope.

He was rushed to the NICU and myself, to the recovery area. So many thoughts raced through my mind. Thoughts of guilt, thoughts of blame, but mostly my thoughts and heart were with my little one struggling to survive.

After several hours they stabilized him. The first time I saw him, my arms ached to hold him. I could do nothing in my power to comfort him. Continually, throughout the day, my little Avi pulled out his IVs. He kicked and fussed. Oh, how I wanted to comfort him. He would see comfort soon though, but not in a way I could ever want.

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Mom to Cora
November 30th, 2009-December 6th, 2009
Indianapolis, IN

I had a perfect pregnancy. When my daughter was born, she was a big baby 8 pounds 12 ounces and declared the picture of good health. I took her home for five perfect days.

On the fifth day? She died.

Babies don’t die in my family. I thought infant loss ran in families. But, it does not. Baby loss strikes anywhere, regardless of race, creed, or country.

Cora was diagnosed by the coroner’s office with congenital heart disease. I’d never heard of it until I got that phone call.

I go in waves with Cora’s Story, sometimes going into the details helps, sometimes it’s just too hard. Now is one of those times. I just can’t force myself to replay that early morning when I looked down to my dead baby in my arms. We were breastfeeding. It was sudden. It is and was hard. That’s all I’ve got for now.

Life has been so strange and different since her death. A blur. A haze. I miss her.

Mom to Calypso Paikea Rhyder Lane
June 14th, 2007-July 7th, 2007
Martinsville, IN

At 9 weeks I started bleeding and they swore up and down I was losing the baby….. I didn’t. We breezed through the next few weeks easily until 18 weeks. I had been spotting. Went in for an u/s. Calypso’s amniotic fluid was at 1.5 (4.5 is critical) the u/s lady kept asking me if I had been leaking. I told her no, no I hadn’t. They scheduled me for a recheck in 2 weeks saying she probably just needed to pee. [Read more…]

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