Mom to Tyson River 3/28/12-3/28/12 stillborn
and Skylar Jones 7/14/14-10/10/14 Complex CHD
New Madrid, Mo

My name is Tori. I am the face of stillborn & CHD Loss. I was expecting our second baby in 2012. Pregnancy was going great. I was 34 wks & 5 days on March 38, 2012 when I wasn’t feeling Tyson moving. Those words “I’m sorry we can’t find a heartbeat” are engraved in my mind. [Read more…]


Mom to Tatiana Jhene Johnson

November 11-18, 2011

Wichita, KS


I was in L&D three times the previous week with sharp pain, back pain, and decreased movement. I was 3-4 cm., 80-95% effaced, and having irregular contractions. Tatiana started having decelerations (her heart rate dropped) caused by dehydration. The OBs were concerned about her heart rate dropping too low during active labor and said I was at risk of having a c section. Her lungs weren’t mature, so they decided against an induction. Last Friday, my OB repeated the biophysical to check for lung maturity again. He decided to strip my membranes to start labor, which didn’t work. I went in for my 38 week appointment on Thursday. He listened to her heart beat and heard an arrhythmia (her heart has an extra beat). He scheduled an appointment with the high risk OB that evening to repeat the biophysical. He said he wasn’t concerned about the arrhythmia, that it would fix itself, and we would continue to monitor it every week. He checked my amniotic fluid levels, and they had decreased from 12 cm. on Friday to less than 1 cm. He asked if I had felt my water break, and I hadn’t, so he sent me to the hospital to be induced.

[Read more…]

Dana McCusker

Mom to Shane McCusker

August 9, 2010 – August 11, 2010

Westlake Village, CA


I found out I was pregnant in early January.  We were so excited when we saw that positive pregnancy test.  We waited almost 11 weeks before we decided to tell anyone.  When we finally did, everyone was so excited for us, our parents in particular as this baby was going to be the first grandchild on both sides. [Read more…]

Mom to Maddox
September 14th, 2010 – January 14th, 2011
Dixon, Illinois
I got pregnant in December 2009. I am a teen so at first it seemed like a bad situation but I knew I was made to be a mother. Abortion or Adoption never crossed my mind. I knew I wanted to love and be with my child, and my entire pregnancy I studied, researched, and prepared for my beautiful son. I put my whole self into every decision I made for him and when he finally entered this world on September, 14th, 2010, my whole life changed. I was so ready to be a parent. I loved my son so much already. 

[Read more…]

 Mom to Evie Nanette
June 14th, 2007-June 15th, 2007
and Allyson Belle
February 27th, 2009-June 11th, 2010
I am a face of 2 infant deaths.  My first daughter Evie Nanette,  6-14-07 to 6-15-07,  was born with a birth defect called a CDH. Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia.  A hole in her diaphragm that allowed all her bottom organs, such as the liver, stomach, and intestines, to enter the top half of the body.  Her stomach was next to her heart.  This the doctors told us was a fluke and would never happen again. 

[Read more…]

Mom to Sawyer Erik Williams
June 1st, 2010-June 3rd, 2010
Channahon, IL
I’ve been putting off writing about Sawyer’s birth for a while now, waiting for the right moment to come. I guess today’s the day…

There is a LOT of background to this story, but I really don’t think a lot of it matters at this point. All I know is that I had an instinct that something was really wrong with my baby. I had it for almost five days leading up to his birth. I was in L&D triage at University of Chicago Hospital twice within that period of time. Once because I just didn’t “feel right” and the second time because I woke up the morning of his birth around 4 a.m. soaked in blood.

I already had an ultrasound and appointment scheduled with my MFM doctor that day. After leaving L&D with a clean bill of health (as far as they could see after monitoring me for a few hours, everything was okay with me and okay with the baby) I went to have my ultrasound at the clinic then waited to see the doctor.

[Read more…]

Mom to Michael Joseph (MJ) Skaggs
Born July 25th, 2009 and died in my arms August 29th, 2009
Topeka, KS

After almost a year and a half and two rounds of the fertility medicine clomid, my husband Willie and I were absolutely elated when we found out we were expecting. My pregnancy started out just like any other, with the all day morning sickness and nervousness of a first time mother-to-be. We found out I was pregnant the beginning of December, and by the beginning of January, I had started spotting. I was petrified that I was having a miscarriage, and our doctor wanted us to come in and do an ultrasound to see what was going on.

We got the surprise of our life when we found out that not only were we having one baby, but there were two tiny babies growing in my belly! Willie and I were in shock, and could hardly speak we were so surprised. We spent the next few weeks overjoyed and eagerly anticipated when we would find out what we were having. When I was 17 weeks pregnant, we had an ultrasound and both of our babies ‘showed us the good’s’. We were having two boys! And the doctor was pretty sure we were having identical twins! Two baby boys, we could just not be happier!

Mom to Cora
November 30th, 2009-December 6th, 2009
Indianapolis, IN

I had a perfect pregnancy. When my daughter was born, she was a big baby 8 pounds 12 ounces and declared the picture of good health. I took her home for five perfect days.

On the fifth day? She died.

Babies don’t die in my family. I thought infant loss ran in families. But, it does not. Baby loss strikes anywhere, regardless of race, creed, or country.

Cora was diagnosed by the coroner’s office with congenital heart disease. I’d never heard of it until I got that phone call.

I go in waves with Cora’s Story, sometimes going into the details helps, sometimes it’s just too hard. Now is one of those times. I just can’t force myself to replay that early morning when I looked down to my dead baby in my arms. We were breastfeeding. It was sudden. It is and was hard. That’s all I’ve got for now.

Life has been so strange and different since her death. A blur. A haze. I miss her.

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