Mom to Christopher – July 8, 2008

Michai – April 9, 2014

Aria Vianne – November 1, 2014 – November 2, 2014

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

I was pregnant with my first son in 2008 when my water broke at 16 weeks and I lost him. I was numb to the pain of this miscarriage, mainly because the people around me convinced me that I would get pregnant again and not to worry. It hurt me, but I didn’t allow myself to grieve. [Read more…]


Mom to Ethan Andrew, lost on March 23, 2010

Mom to “Little One,” lost in August 2010

St. Paul, Minnesota

I’m Emily. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome as a teenager, so we knew from the start that it might be difficult for us to conceive. I took my last birth control pill on my 24th birthday and we gave it a few months before asking my doctor for a little extra help. She wrote a prescription for Clomid and sent us on our way. About a week later, when the Clomid didn’t seem to be working, she referred us to a reproductive endocrinologist. Dr. C spent over an hour with us, explaining the plan and the medications. He wanted to reboot my system with a month of birth control pills but needed me to take a pregnancy test first. It was just a formality. I peed in the cup, set it in the little box and joined my husband Andrew to wait for the nurse to bring us the birth control pills. She never came. Instead, Dr. C dropped off a pregnancy test with two beautiful pink lines. We couldn’t believe it! Joy rushed in full force. [Read more…]



Mom to Jaylen and Quincy

Born/Passed June 17, 2008

Mom to Payton Ann

Born/Passed August 27, 2011

It all started June 17, 2008. I was about six months pregnant with twin boys. I noticed some bleeding which is of course a red flag in pregnancy. I immediately called my doctor who told me to come in so he could give me an examination. I raced over to the office upset and thinking the worst. He started by doing an ultrasound. I watched the screen intently and saw both little guys moving around. “Yes, they are ok,” I thought to myself.

[Read more…]


Mom to Jack
Lost February 26, 2011 at 6 weeks


Discovered no heartbeat May 2, 2011 at 9 weeks 2 days
D&C May 5, 2011

Coweta, Oklahoma

In February I had run out of birth control. After a period didn’t start I took several pregnancy tests before starting a new pack. I kept getting negatives. Well, once my period was over a week late I went and saw my doctor to have her test. I didn’t want to start a new pack of birth control without making sure I wasn’t pregnant. After doing a blood draw and waiting for what felt like forever, my doctor called me in. She showed me the screen, and sure enough I was pregnant. My hCG numbers were extremely low, so she asked me to come back in 2 days for a redraw to make sure they were going up. While it wasn’t a planned pregnancy, I was so excited! Two days later I went back in and my numbers had tripled. I drove home that day feeling so blessed and an overwhelming amount of love for my husband and 9-month old son. We took no time announcing our pregnancy to family. [Read more…]


Mom to Kennedy Lost August 30, 2012 at 4weeks


Madison Lost September 30, 2012 at 4 weeks

Pullman, Washington

I knew I always wanted children; ever since I was a little girl I had envisioned a house full of children running around and playing, full of love and fun. I loved playing with my dolls and playing “mommy”. I always thought I would end up having half a dozen children.

My husband, who I married on May 31, 2009, also wanted children but wanted to wait ‘til he was done with grad school. We planned to wait a few years and would then begin our journey as parents. God had other plans, however. [Read more…]




November 22, 2010


June 6, 2011

Indianapolis, IN


My husband and I knew that we wanted two children. We decided that on our first date. He is the middle child of 5, and I am the oldest of 3. Two seemed to be the perfect number. Tables at restaurants are designed for families of four, cars are designed for four, our home is made for four. Two children would make our already blessed life even more blessed. [Read more…]


Mom to 8 angels

December 2008

March, May, September 2009

March, June, September 2010

May 2011

Alexandria, VA

I believe that we sometimes find ourselves in a place that never occured to us as possible. We prepare ourselves for so many things, “girding our loins” so to speak for many different scenarios….yet this one never truly seems to be a possibility.  [Read more…]

Mom to
Tred, born still on June 5, 2008 at 21 weeks
Talya, born still on April 10, 2009 at 38 weeks
Twin Cities, Minnesota
I have had 3 healthy pregnancies so having any problems with pregnancy was never something we thought about. We found out I was pregnant in January of 2008 and at the time my husband was in a job transition so we didn’t have insurance. I thought it had been a while since I had my AF so I went to the store and bought a home kit and it was positive, I also went to the free local clinic and took a test and that also was positive. I was so excited! We weren’t trying but the surprise is always a welcome one. I called my DH at work and said “Are you sitting down”. I told him “We’re pregnant”. He couldn’t believe it. He was excited and scared as I was. We weren’t trying and it just happened. This has happened with all of our pregnancies except one. I started my prenatal vitamins and was on cloud 9 because I was going to have another baby!! I loved being pregnant!!
As time went on we slowly started to tell friends and family that we were having a 4th. Holy buckets, I was going to have another baby. I went on ebay and craigslist to find maternity clothes, baby clothes and then of course I was determined to breastfeed. I went online and was looking at cover-ups. I found a beautiful green one that was for both boys and girls. DH and I decided this would be our last baby because we were running out of bedrooms for the kids.

[Read more…]

Mother of two angel babies
Riley, confirmed on 2/11/10 at 6 weeks (EDD 9/27/10), D&C 2/24/10
Peyton, confirmed on 8/19/10 at 10 weeks (EDD 3/15/11), D&C 8/27/10
Buffalo, NY
My first angel:

[Read more…]

Jeremiah (born still January 5, 2007 at 21 weeks) and Miles (born still July 17, 2007 at 18 weeks); early miscarriage February 2009
Twin Cities, MN

Jeremiah’s Story

The day I found out I was pregnant with Jeremiah we were on family vacation in Yellowstone. Hubby and I were thrilled. A few days later we stopped at the cemetery in my hometown to visit my sister’s grave – the same grave where Jeremiah would be buried just a few months later.

I’d been nervous about getting pregnant again because of how small my children David and Tania had been at full term, how brutal and long labor was (30+ hours each) despite their small size, how doctors had commented on the placentas and cords, and all the other complications. I went to the OB/GYN just weeks before I got pregnant with Jeremiah to get a checkup and ask if she could see any reason to be concerned about another pregnancy with my history. She said everything seems fine and there was no reason to expect any recurring problems.

With Jeremiah, I had morning sickness in the first trimester, as expected, and was measuring right where I should be all along. I was quite hopeful that maybe this time I’d have a normal pregnancy, maybe this time the baby would be healthy, maybe this time I wouldn’t have lasting injuries from the delivery, maybe this time we wouldn’t have to move to a new state right after the birth, maybe this time we wouldn’t lose our health insurance, maybe this time things would be OK.

Then just before Christmas (maybe it was Christmas Eve – wish I could remember the exact date) I was wrapping presents in my bedroom after the kids were asleep, when I suddenly got the impression that there was a man standing about 6 feet in front of me and that he’d come to take the baby. I thought I was being ridiculous and paranoid. Sure, I’d had some trouble with both of my previous pregnancies but not until the third trimester, and things seemed to be going perfectly this time. I went to lie down for a minute and thought I felt the baby move, so I dismissed my impression as silly worrying. Only later did I realize that the movement I felt that night and in the following days was his body moving around in the amniotic sac in response to my movements.

[Read more…]

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