Mom to Lucas Alexander

Born Still on October 18th, 2010

Old Fields, West Virginia

I found out very “late” that I was an expecting Mommy…I conceived while on birth control pills, and my partner & I used condoms as well… needless to say, “surprised” didn’t quite cover the emotion I felt when I discovered I was pregnant! I was already almost six months into my pregnancy, with only 8 pounds of weight gain, no skipped periods, no nausea, NO signs what-so-ever. At any rate, once I recovered from the shock of “Wow, how did this happen?!?!”, I was elated! I couldn’t wait to see my Little Man, hold him in my arms, and watch him grow. All of my neonatal appointments went smoothly, his heartbeat was always strong. Clockwork. [Read more…]


Mom to Garrett

Stillborn July 31st, 2004

Eden Prairie, Minnesota

My baby angel Garrett was stillborn July 31, 2004 at 38 weeks.  I had a perfect pregnancy and had no reason to suspect anything would go wrong.  I was surprised to wake up one morning at 2:30am with a horrible feeling that something was wrong.  It wasn’t until a few hours later that I realized I wasn’t feeling my baby move.  Despite that, I was completely blindsided when the doctor told me my son’s heart had stopped beating.  After delivery, we learned that Garrett had died from an umbilical cord accident.  [Read more…]


Mom to Paxton Lucas

June 3, 2011

Commerce City, CO


My husband and I had been trying to conceive for a few months and I had been having some cycle abnormalities and had a HSG scheduled for early October 2010 as well as a prescription for clomid to take in October.  Well to our surprise we got a BFP on September 27th 2010. It was a very faint positive but a positive none the less and we were ecstatic. I had always wanted 2 children close in age and we would be getting our wish, 2 kids 22 months apart, everything was going to be perfect. [Read more…]


Mom to Sam Joseph

Born still at 38 weeks on May 9th, 2011

McHenry, Illinois

I am, what some may call a type A personality, I plan everything and make sure I have control over all that I can. Since I am a teacher, we needed to plan the pregnancy for delivery towards the end of the school year, just like we did with our daughter. May, it’s the perfect time, it allowed for me to take a few weeks off for the delivery and have the whole summer with my new addition to my family. So, we did the same plan we did with our daughter. I purchased the ovulation kit and hoped to get pregnant in August some time.

[Read more…]

Mom to Jenna Marshal
April 3rd, 2004 – April 9th, 2004
Minneapolis, Minnesota
I was 38 weeks pregnant with our angel Jenna when I woke up feeling like something was wrong. I waited to get out of bed for a while to see if she would start moving but she never did. 

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Mom to Matthew Kristopher
Stillborn on July 27th, 2002 at 38 weeks
East Northport, New York
Life is not without loss. Everyone experiences it in some form during their life. How do you move on from your darkest days, when time stands still but life goes on around you? How do you pick up the shattered pieces and move forward, to rebuild your life, rise above the pain, and perhaps come out stronger and more determined than before? How do you go on to do something positive and help others in a similar situation, while helping yourself to heal? There will be light at the end of your long dark tunnel. You will get there eventually, maybe without even realizing it, and maybe by constantly working your way out, one little step at a time. This is my story of loss, grief, healing, and passion found.

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Mary Beth
Mom to Reese Aleyna Lowell
August 24th, 2010
Everett, Washington
We decided sometime in the summer or fall of 2009 that we wanted to start trying for our second baby. I recall thinking it took a long time to get pregnant, but in reality, it was probably only a few months. When you’re ready, you’re ready and anxious.

I found out in December that I was pregnant and we were thrilled. The 12 weeks we had to wait to tell anyone were a bit nerve wracking and I tried not to get emotionally attached to the baby so as to protect myself in case of miscarriage. I felt like I started showing right away and I was so excited to finally tell people “No, I’m not getting fat, I’m pregnant!” Once past 12 weeks, it seemed we were home free. We were going to have a baby. The ultrasound tech and I watched as she moved around, her little heart beating perfectly. Even at that stage, I could make out her body quite clearly. “I could watch them for hours, they are so cute and wonderful,” I remember the tech saying to me. “So could I,” I told her.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

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Mom to
Tred, born still on June 5, 2008 at 21 weeks
Talya, born still on April 10, 2009 at 38 weeks
Twin Cities, Minnesota
I have had 3 healthy pregnancies so having any problems with pregnancy was never something we thought about. We found out I was pregnant in January of 2008 and at the time my husband was in a job transition so we didn’t have insurance. I thought it had been a while since I had my AF so I went to the store and bought a home kit and it was positive, I also went to the free local clinic and took a test and that also was positive. I was so excited! We weren’t trying but the surprise is always a welcome one. I called my DH at work and said “Are you sitting down”. I told him “We’re pregnant”. He couldn’t believe it. He was excited and scared as I was. We weren’t trying and it just happened. This has happened with all of our pregnancies except one. I started my prenatal vitamins and was on cloud 9 because I was going to have another baby!! I loved being pregnant!!
As time went on we slowly started to tell friends and family that we were having a 4th. Holy buckets, I was going to have another baby. I went on ebay and craigslist to find maternity clothes, baby clothes and then of course I was determined to breastfeed. I went online and was looking at cover-ups. I found a beautiful green one that was for both boys and girls. DH and I decided this would be our last baby because we were running out of bedrooms for the kids.

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Mom to Cora Rei
Stillborn at 38 weeks, 1 day, on May 2nd, 2006
Highlands Ranch, CO

I became pregnant for the first time in August of 2005, 2\two months after getting married. I was ecstatic, but nearly upon conception the nausea started. At five weeks, when nausea is “supposed” to start, I was throwing up multiple times a day. By 10 weeks, after throwing up at least once an hour for nearly 24 hours, and starting to throw up blood, I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, or extreme morning sickness. Five days later was my first appointment with my OB, and I was severely dehydrated again, so he gave me anti nausea medication. He also did an ultrasound. It was standard for dating purposes, but I was also really worried that my severe sickness had harmed my baby. During that ultrasound we learned that our baby was perfect, and they set my due date as May 14th…Mother’s Day. It was perfect. We were overjoyed and I had never been so in love. My pregnancy continued to progress normally (with the exception of the hyperemesis, which plagued me my entire pregnancy [and my subsequent two as well]). At about 23 weeks we learned our baby was a girl, and we decided her name would be Cora Rei. Her name means “heart full of gratitude.” I meant it to teach her something, but in the end it has been teaching me.
April 30, 2006, I was exactly 38 weeks. I woke up that morning and she had very obviously dropped. Everyone at church commented on it, and asked how I was feeling, and while I was uncomfortable, it wasn’t anything noteworthy. I had to work from 5:30pm to midnight that night, and I figured six and a half hours of standing would help move things along. At about 10pm that night, a friend and coworker of mine came in. I expressed to her that I was worried that I was losing amniotic fluid. I didn’t really think so, but I did feel that something might be wrong but couldn’t put my finger on it. During our conversation, Cora pushed against my ribs so hard that I doubled over in pain. My friend offered to finish out my shift for me so I could go to the hospital, and I finally decided to “wait and see what happened in the morning.” I have never regretted a decision I’ve made so much in my life.
I woke up at nearly 11am the next morning. I hadn’t woken once in my sleep. I was immediately disappointed that I had not woken up at 4am with contractions and was not in labor. I had been very much looking forward to my pregnancy (and sickness!) ending and holding my sweet baby. My husband and I had errands to run, so I got up to take a shower. It was in the shower that I realized it. Cora had always become very active in the shower. On this particular morning, there was absolutely nothing. I bruised myself poking my belly to get her to respond, and ended up breaking down sobbing in the shower. I knew. I tried to convince myself that I was freaking out as I finished rinsing off and got dressed. I went into my bedroom and asked my husband to listen to my belly. It was something he had done frequently to hear her heartbeat (and hasn’t ever done since). He heard nothing, but convinced me it was just a fluke and I should try to eat and drink something to see if I could get her going. There was nothing. It was at this point that I called my OB’s office, only to get a message that they were out for lunch and they’d be back in an hour if I wanted to leave a message. I couldn’t put it into words, so I decided that I would just call back later. The next hour we did our errands, and it was torturous. I had a secretary that we were turning a form in to ask me how far along I was, and when I said I was due in two weeks her eyes lit up, and she babbled on about how exciting it was. I just nodded and went along with it. How do you tell someone you think your baby is dead?

[Read more…]

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