Mom to Adam Michael and Sophia Rose

November 30, 1997


Still, I Rise
“I will say your names.
I will whisper them to my heart.
I will find strength in my heart
which will always beat for you.”

Raw, numb, wounded, sad, despairing, lost.
21 years later these are a few of the words I use to describe my journey through the stillborn loss of one twin and the death of my second twin 27 minutes after she was born. People are often surprised when they hear how many years it’s been since that devastating day. It has taken me 21 years to find the courage and strength needed to face this kind of loss. It’s amazing what the mind will do to preserve itself after such heartache. People handle grief in different ways. My way of coping was to shut down emotionally and not deal with the pain of it all. I frequently judge myself for how I dealt with the loss. Time has given me the perspective to accept and love myself through the process which has aided in my continued healing.

My story is unique, in that there is an element of violence, which directly contributed to the loss of my twins. The myriad of feelings that were intertwined with my experiences has been intense and consuming at times. Gratefully, I have hung on and been able to find hope and healing.

My husband and I were joyfully anticipating the arrival of our twins. I was 36 weeks and my pregnancy had been going well. I was a few days away from being put on bed rest by my doctor in order to give the babies’ lungs at least two more weeks of growing stronger. 36 weeks of excitement, planning, preparing and loving and it would all come shattering down around me in 24 hours.

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Mom to Diana Hope

June 13, 2017

West Babylon, New York

I want to tell you all a story about a girl named Diana.

I delivered my stillborn beautiful baby girl, Diana Hope on June 13, 2017 at 8:10 pm. She was 4 lbs, 1 oz, 18 inches long. She had dark hair and eyes, just like her dad, Gaetano. He says she looked like me and that makes me happy. [Read more…]



Mom to Ethan Francis

December 3, 2015

Randburg, South Africa

It was a Sunday afternoon when my husband got me out of bed to go for a check-up; I was in bed since Thursday. I thought I was coming down with the flu so I decided to go see our GP. With all the symptoms I had, he suggested a urine test which came back positive for pregnancy. We were 6 weeks and 5 days. It was unexpected but we were very happy and made an appointment with our OBGYN to confirm.

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Mom to Carter

Ball Ground, Georgia

January 7, 2015

Carter Scott Combs was born an Angel on January 7, 2015 at 36 weeks and 3 days.

…and to think, the first thing he saw when his little eyes opened was the face of Jesus?

I was born to be a Mom and I knew I wanted babies since I was young. If I knew then what I know now, I still wouldn’t change having our son.

Our baby boy has touched more lives in the past few months than some people do in a lifetime. I know God gave us this baby for a reason and I knew that I needed to tell his story.

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Mom to Zia

July 16, 2013

On 19 August, my daughter would have been two years old, but instead of planning a princess themed party and getting frustrated over the terrible two’s, I sit here writing about a baby who now lives only in my heart. Her name is Zia, she is our second child and only daughter. She was stillborn about 4 weeks before her due date making July 16, 2013, her still birthday. She lived for eight months within me; I carried her with immense pride and will always love her dearly.

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Mom to Ivy Renee

Born Still on July 21, 2012

Richmond, Kentucky

I woke up around 3:30am. I had only been asleep for an hour and a half at the most. I had to pee really bad as usual that late in the third trimester. I noticed my stomach was really hard, like a contraction that just wouldn’t let up. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable, nothing too bad, just some mild cramping. I almost tried to lay back down for a second but got right back up and thought, “No, something isn’t right.” So, I called a few people that I had been in touch with that day or within the days before but no one answered. Then I called my friend, Tonia. She answered right away, thinking I was calling about the missing person we were all so concerned with in our town. I told her I thought I was in labor and needed to go to the hospital but I needed to call someone else to come down and stay with my three kids. I called another friend, Angel, whom I hadn’t spoken with in quite some time, but I knew she’d be there for me if I ever needed her and she was. I even talked with her about maybe I was overreacting, but she assured me it was better to be safe. Angel and Tonia were on their way. I quickly threw some things in my hospital bag. I didn’t even have any clothes for Ivy packed. I was planning on waiting until Jason flew home and have him go upstairs in the attic and bring down all of Violet’s newborn baby clothes. He was coming home soon because my induction date was only 10 days away, August 10th. [Read more…]



Mom to Laura Jane

Born and died on November 1, 2012

Syracuse, New York

My husband, Michael and I got married in April of 2005. We had a beautiful wedding and couldn’t wait to start a family. We started trying to get pregnant in June. After several months of negative pregnancy tests we decided to have some testing done. Everything was fine with Michael but we found out I had poly-cystic ovaries (PCOS). After several IUI cycles, an IVF cycle and lots of tears we tried one more IUI cycle and it worked! We were so excited! [Read more…]


Mom to Caleb Joshua

Born still March 19, 2008

Kent, Washington

My husband, Jack, was traveling the day my dear sister-in-law, Semmelle, and I excitedly walked into my OB’s office for my 36 week appointment.  She had never been to an ultra sound before, and I was so excited to show her a sneak peak of her new nephew.  I met her at my mother’s that afternoon, where relatives were still visiting after throwing me a beautiful baby shower that weekend before.  My cousins and I had stayed up until late the night of the shower unpacking gifts, laundering tiny clothes, and decorating the nursery while we ate chocolate cake, giggling like little girls.  Caleb was the first grandchild in both Jack’s and my side.  After years of my fighting an extreme case of bipolar disorder and wondering if I would ever be well enough to bear my own children, we felt the world was celebrating with us as we prepared to welcome our victory child.   [Read more…]


Mom to Lorelei Grace

Stillborn on April 30, 2012

New Columbia, Pennsylvania

We lost our Lorelei on April 30, 2012 at 36 weeks 6 days, two days before I was supposed to be induced. She was going to need surgery after she was born and would spend time in the NICU because she had a gastroschesis (her bowel, stomach, and bladder had come through a hole in her abdominal wall beside the umbilical cord). We were prepared for that and had come to terms with it, but we were NOT expecting to never bring her home. [Read more…]


Mom to Victoria Joy

Born December 28th, 2009 at 36w 1d, survived only about 2 hours

Bronx, NY 

I was 12 weeks when I had my first sonogram appointment. Most people go to their first appointment excited, not imagining something may be wrong with their baby.  The technician pretty much immediately found something wrong with my baby, specifically the tummy.  They measured the nuchal fold and everything else which looked fine.  They weren’t sure if it was omphalocele or gastroschisis.  They explained the difference and that they would be sending me for more tests and ultrasounds, etc.  I was devastated that something was wrong with my little girl.  I was the last patient to leave the office and I just didn’t know what to do but cry.

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Mom to Ryland Sebastian Xavier,
Still-born at 36 weeks on October 24th, 2011

Cleburne, Texas

I had a pretty normal pregnancy up till my 7th month. I was due 11/22/2011. I had switched doctors and well my new OBGYN was not happy with my blood pressure. After my first 24 hour urine catch I was shown to have mild preeclampsia So from the end of September to mid October I was being sent to LDR for non stress testing and doing 24 hour urine catches every week. The urine catches for to test for protein in my urine…a sign of preeclampsia and at this point was to make sure it went no higher. [Read more…]


Mom to Violet Evelyn Ochoa

Stillborn at 36 weeks on August 12th, 2011

Honolulu, Hawaii

I suppose I’ll start from the very beginning.  I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Eve.  I wasn’t trying to conceive, I have always been told I have PCOS, and I would have problems with fertility.  I was shocked and scared, but I fell in love with my baby from the second I saw those 2 pink lines.  I was 27 years old when I discovered I was pregnant, and I have always wanted children.  I have 2 sisters, and they both have kids.  My fiance, Felipe, was also quite shocked!  Once it set in, we were both very excited but also very scared to be parents for the first time.   [Read more…]


Mom to Dakota Blakely

Born to Angels May 24th, 2011

Fort Bragg, North Carolina

I suffer from a serious condition during pregnancy called Cholestasis. I found out I was getting it again with my daughter a few days from my doctor appointment, so I waited. I went in and they did the blood test and called me back a few days later to come in for a NST. [Read more…]


Mom to Esther Grace Slagle

Stillborn June 18th, 2007

San Diego, California

October 2006 my husband and I found out we were expecting our 3rd child, we had one girl and one boy, we were thrilled to be adding to our family.  At 8 weeks I started cramping we headed to the ER and then bleeding as we entered into the hospital, my husband was so flustered that he told the nurse I was 8 months pregnant and bleeding. [Read more…]


Mom to Thomas Noah Keppler

Stillborn at 36 Weeks on April 12th, 2011

St. Louis, Missouri

My husband and I were married in December 2008, after dating for over 5 years. We had planned on waiting awhile to start a family – since I was only 22 and he was only 24. However, in August of 2010, we found out I was pregnant. We were surprised, but so excited – this baby was going to be the first grandchild for both sides of our family. [Read more…]


Mom to Evan Tyler
September 12th, 2010
Sarnia, Ontario, Canada

I was almost 36 weeks pregnant and had started my maternity leave a bit early to get the house ready for baby #2.  I had noticed a bit of lightening and a decrease in movement for a couple of days, but that’s normal in the final months of pregnancy because the baby has less space to move, and I still felt the baby rolling and turning and at times it felt like he was stretching out in there so I just brushed it off as being normal. The Friday before he was born I went to Toys R Us to buy him an infant rocker and I remember while I was sitting on the floor at home putting it together that it seemed a bit easier to move around, I just figured it was the lightening you hear about as the baby begins to drop…
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Mom to Elise Renee Tagliaferri
April 6th, 2009
Whiteford, Maryland
My name is Kelly.

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Mom to Eli David Roseberry
Stillborn on June 17th, 2010
Olive Hill, Kentucky
The whole day on Wednesday, June 16th, Eli made little movement. I wasn’t too concerned because I was 36 weeks pregnant with my second baby and this was the first time I had made it this far, I thought this was “normal” for this gestation. At 10:45 that night I felt him push his little butt up against the right side of my ribs. I assumed everything was alright even though I couldn’t hear his heartbeat with the doppler (it picked up too much static). At that point I decided to take a shower and go to bed. At 11pm while going to the bathroom, I felt a pop and assumed my water had broken. When I looked down I was gushing blood and I knew something was wrong.
I got dressed and we headed straight to the hospital. I called labor and delievery with en route to let them know what had happened so they would be prepared once we got there. Once at the hospital I had several nurses in my room getting me hooked up and set up with IVs and blood work. One nurse tried to find his heartbeat with the monitor while another prepped me for a c-section. I knew something was wrong when after five minutes she couldn’t find it. They then tried the dopplar and an ultrasound, the whole time not saying anything, except to call Dr. Dotson. The ultrasound technician from downstairs came up and did another ultrasound and then Dr. Dotson arrived, sat on my bedside and watch the ultrasound. He put his hand on my leg, looked at me and said “I’m so sorry, we’ve lost his heartbeat.” My whole world crashed around me. I had made it 36 weeks with a healthy baby, felt him move 15 minutes before the blood came, and now he was gone. That was at 12am on Thursday morning.

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Mom to Michael Francis Latterell, II
August 12th, 2010
Nashville, TN
Becoming a mother had always been an ambiguous thought for me growing up, until I met Mike. I felt there was no better way of expressing love for another person than to share yourself in the union of persons and conceive a child. A little piece of us, together, to show and share with the world. Mike was and still is an amazing man and I wanted nothing more than to create a family with him!
We found out we were pregnant on the morning of Jan 14 2010. Mike and I had been in Minnesota visiting his family for the Christmas holidays and were returning home when I realized that I was late for my period. We decided about 8 months earlier when we got engaged to stop using oral contraceptives and begin using NFP (natural family planning). We weren’t getting any younger and we wanted our children to come into our family as they may. Granted we had a wedding date planned, we were ready to become parents no matter what.

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Mommy to Alyssa Marie
Born sleeping on February 23rd, 2010 at 12:13pm
New York

My Name is Antoinette. I became pregnant with my first daughter at age 29 on July 19, 2009. I would like to say it was an uneventful pregnancy, but I cant. I was hospitalized in September 09 for severe dehydration and diagnosed with Hypermesis (excessive vomiting). After IV fluids and much needed rest i was released and told to take Zofran once a day until week 20. I am against ANY medication during pregnancy, but after much googling I found there were no risks to the baby by taking it and so I took it on a need to basis.

In my first trimester I lost about 15lbs, in which the doctor was not concerned. I had HUGE HCG numbers and this meant that my baby was strong and growing!! They were even wondering at one point if I may have been carrying twins because they were so high, but after seeing ONE incredibly strong heartbeat we just stuck with “this was a really healthy baby”. Once the ALL day sickness lessoned and then eventually stopped I began having awful back pain. I could not walk for more than 15 minutes without literally wanting to cry. I refused ANY type of medication and started seeing an Orthopedist who refused to treat me while pregnant, but said I was suffering from Sciatica, which usually does not start until the 3rd trimester. He referred me to a neurologist who then decided bed rest and some light physical therapy to ease the pain would be his treatment until after the baby was born. At this point I needed my husband for everything. I could not sleep, I could not clean, I could not cook and I could not walk without the pain shooting down my leg and up into my back. It was a sad time for me, I wanted to “enjoy” my pregnancy as much as possible. But, I knew that all this pain and “suffering” would be all worth it once my daughter was born.

When we found out we were having a girl, we were ecstatic. I had planned ALL the things we would do for our lives. We would be best friends and have the best mother/daughter relationship. With every milestone she hit I knew I was closer to having my daughter. She would always measure 2 weeks ahead with her weight and I knew she was going to be earlier than her original due date March 29, 2010.

Through out my pregnancy and BEFORE we even started to try I was tested for all possible complications and all tests were negative. I had no issues during my pregnancy that could possibly affect the baby. At my 28 week scan we saw our daughter moving around and all her organs were perfect. We saw the blood flow through her umbilical cord and with everything coming back perfect we knew that she was going to be just fine. It was not until week 35 that my fears of her not coming home subsided. I finally bought my FIRST baby things for my daughter. I had a baby shower and needed absolutely nothing, but I never had a bought a thing myself.

Two weeks before my life would change forever we were told that Alyssa became transverse in my belly. I became scared at this point that if she turned again she may get the cord around her neck and I was hoping and praying that everything would be ok. It was the last sonogram I had. February 17, 2010 when I brought my stepson who is 14 for the first time with us to see her heartbeat. It was amazing to have all four of us there as a family for his soon to be little sister. Again she was measuring 2 weeks ahead and they estimated she would be about 9lbs!!! She was 6lbs at this point.

The next day I woke up and my ring finger was purple…I was Swollen!! but not anywhere else but my hands. I had to have my ring cut off, which ironically was a cross ring i had not taken off in years. In my heart I knew something was wrong, but I took it as just last minute nerves for the “big day” coming up. The weekend went fine, but Saturday night after eating some spicy ribs I felt sick. I threw up about 7 times, and I was told that sometimes after having such severe morning sickness in the beginning that you will experience some at the end as well as the hormone levels are changing. That night I laid in bed and she was moving all around as usual. She would move ALL night long. It was our special time. I felt so close to her and even though I was feeling sick, I knew she was ok. I finally fell asleep.

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