Desiree Nelson

Mom to Samuel

Born Sleeping April 13th, 2010

and Natalee Rose

Born Too Early on June 11th, 2011


My story starts very typically and ends with such tragedy. I met the man I knew I would spend my life with and be a good dad to my son, we decided to start a family of our own. Right before Christmas 2009 we found out we were pregnant, I had a normal pregnancy with my son but he was born premature at 32 weeks. I can’t explain why but I had a feeling that things were very different this time. I hardly ever felt the baby move even after 16-17 weeks; I kind of blew it off because it was hard for me to remember 5 years ago what it was like. Plus I had an anterior placenta which the doctor told me would block a lot of his movement. [Read more…]


Mom to Sean Edward

and Johnathon Ray

Missed Miscarriage – November 2009

and Chemical Pregnancy – July 2011

Colorado Springs, Colorado

In identical multiple pregnancies, there is one placenta and multiple umbilical cords. Each cord holds either two or three blood vessels, and carries blood and nutrients to each baby.

In Twin to Twin Transfusion, one baby (the recipient) has one of the other baby’s (the donor) blood vessels in their umbilical cord. This can also be caused by the babies sharing unequal parts of the placenta. Because of the unequal sharing of nutrients, the donor baby grows rapidly faster than the donor, and a size difference is usually the first indication that TTTS is taking place.  [Read more…]


Mom to Emma Nevaeh

Stillborn December 31st, 2008

& Peanut, Miscarried at 13 weeks, June 2009

Wysox, PA

Its hard to know where to begin…When I got pregnant with my first daughter it was a total surprise & everything went smooth & easy. She was born in 2007 at 8lbs 11oz & so beautiful. In 2008 my husband & I started to try again for our 2nd child, I had an abnormal pap that year (i had precancer cells on my cervix) so we decided to see a doctor for that pregnancy instead of a midwife like our 1st. [Read more…]


Mom to Ryan Matthew

May 21, 2011

Rochester, NY

Our world was turned upside down in 25 minutes. It was actually happening for 5 days we just didn’t know it. [Read more…]

Mother to Brennan Esther
Stillborn January 19, 2011
Burke, Virginia

My husband and I found out we were expecting our first child in September of 2010. I started a blog as letters to my baby so that one day she could read her birth story from day one. I never thought the letters would end up chronicling the life and death of my first born. Some girls dream of their wedding day but all I ever dreamed of was becoming a mother. [Read more…]


Mom to Chloe, Lost 24+ weeks in September 2005

Second Loss at 21 weeks in October 2007

Third Loss at 13 weeks in March 2008

Fourth Loss at 21 weeks in April 2009

Fifth Loss at 12/13 weeks in July 2010

Sixth Loss at 9 weeks in 2010

Seventh Loss at 9 weeks in January 2011

Cape Town, South Africa

I found out I was pregnant for the first time in June 2005. I was nervous about telling my mom, because I was raised “first get married and then babies” lol. After I told my mom MY good news, it took her a while to get over it. Didn’t take her very long though, because the next thing you know she starts buying baby clothes. Me too, I just couldn’t resist the cute little outfits. [Read more…]

Mom to Baby Miscarried June 12th, 2009
and Jada Sophia
Stillborn July 21st, 2010
Hillsboro, Ohio
Me and my Husband have been married for 8 years and we had been trying to have a child for 9 years. After a year of trying on our own I knew something was wrong so I went to my OBGYN and was told I was still young and that it will happen. I was 21 at the time. So I figured it was all in my head and for years I never went back to a doctor. 

[Read more…]

Mom to Jason ‘JJ’ Garrick Dial, Jr
October 29th, 2009
Mesa, Arizona

 I selected my OB based strictly on geography.  When I asked my general doctor for a referral, she knew of only one doctor in the area near my work.  I called the office and scheduled an appointment for infertility.  We had been trying for a year and a half with no success and I was ready to talk to someone who might be able to help.  Since I’m a teacher, I called at the beginning of my summer and they didn’t have any openings until the end of my summer.  However, one week before my appointment I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant.  We were so excited, we’d been married almost five years and now we were going to be parents!  I called the office and changed my infertility appointment to a pregnancy confirmation appointment.

[Read more…]

Mom to Charlotte Jean
Born Still on January 8, 2011
Jamestown, Ohio
My story starts like many others. I fell in love with my soul mate and best friend, Peter. We met in college and married in August 2006 after I graduated. We somehow, only God knows how, ended up living and settling down in the middle of no where Ohio. God has so richly blessed us in our 4 years of marriage and we were ready to add to our family.

[Read more…]

Mom to Moriah Pearl
Born and passed on December 3rd, 2010 at 21 weeks
and an Ectopic Pregnancy
Hampton, Virginia
I am a wife, sister, daughter, and an amazing friend. I am married to the love of my life Aaron, we have been together for two years. We were married November 15, 2008 after a whirlwind long distance relationship. We grew up and graduated together but were just good friends. Fate had it that I would text him one day 3 years after last seeing him, 9 months later we wed. God has blessed me with the opportunity to wed my best friend. We knew immediately we wanted to start a family but I was nervous as I had PCOS which is a condition effecting the ovaries…

[Read more…]

Mom to Zachary Jonathan
Left on October 28th, 2010 at 21 weeks, 6 days gestation
On Friday, October 8th, My boyfriend Jon and I went for our first ultrasound appointment. We had just gone to my regular OB for the second pre-natal visit. We listened to our baby’s heartbeat; it was perfectly healthy. Because I found out very late that I was pregnant, this was only the beginning for us. I had been on birth control and did not expect to become pregnant, so I had not been taking vitamins or trying to get myself into “baby-making” shape. But of course once I found out I began right away and got the first appointment available to make sure everything was going well.

Because my second appointment was scheduled for when I was 18 weeks, my doctor referred me to another office to have my first ultrasound. She said if we went right away we might be able to get an appointment for that day. We were so excited! This would be the first time we saw our baby, and I was bouncing up and down in anticipation. We got to the other office at about 11, and they told us we could come back at 12:45. We went out to lunch and then back to the office. Once we were in the room, I laid on the table and the tech put the cold goo on my belly. I was actually so excited, I really didn’t care. And then on the screen on the wall, we saw our son for the first time. She just moved the device back and forth a few times so we could see him, and asked if we wanted to know the sex. We both had decided before hand that we did, and she told us it was a boy. We had been thinking it was a girl (my mothering intuition was off), so looked at each other and he just held my hand and said, “I guess we need to think of other names!” After a few more minutes of awe-inspiring pictures, the tech told me she was having trouble seeing his head because it was so far down. She asked me to turn on my side and face her, but that didn’t make any difference. She then asked me to undress from the waist down so she could try an internal sonogram. I did as I was asked and a few minutes later she came back in and tried again. She still was having trouble. Then she got up, grabbed all of the pictures, told us she’d be right back and left the room. Jon and I began talking about name possibilities for our future son. When the woman came back she told us our baby’s head didn’t look right, and that the radiologist was looking at the pictures and trying to get a hold of my OB. She told us not to worry and then left the room again. I immediately started crying. What was wrong with my baby? His heart rate was perfect and all of his measurements were right where they should be. Jon got up and hugged me and told me not to worry until they figured out what was wrong. I couldn’t help but worry, I was so scared. I had no idea the worst had yet to come.

[Read more…]

Mom to
Baby Roth, June 2003
Aiden Robert, July 2, 2004
Centerville, Minnesota
Soon after our first wedding anniversary, we became pregnant. We were ecstatic! We were in the process of buying our first home and couldn’t wait to start a family.

The day after we moved into our home, we had our 10 week doctor appointment and we were thrilled at knowing that we would be able to hear our child’s heart beat for the first time. We entered the doctor’s office with great anticipation. We were devastated to learn that there was no heartbeat. We went home with broken hearts. I had had a missed miscarriage. Something I had never heard of before. The months that followed were a blur of tears and heartache. I felt as though all of my hopes and dreams had been ripped away from me.

[Read more…]

Mom to Leo Allen
Stillborn August 7th, 2005
My husband and I had been married 2 years when we found ourselves at a crossroads. We were far along in the process to become Peace Corps Volunteers, when an opportunity for a job came up that fit him perfectly. He applied and interviewed, and we decided that if he didn’t get the job, we’d go forward with the Peace Corps. If he did get the job, we’d stay and start a family. I was never the type to think about babies, but at this point, my maternal longing was kicking in big time. The Peace Corps was a long- time goal of mine, but the urge for a baby was growing. He got the job. We stayed, and I got pregnant right away. I remember taking three pregnancy tests in a row and showing him, my hands shaking. We went out for ice cream to celebrate.

[Read more…]

Mom to Lucas Benjamin
Lost April 1st, 2010 at 21 weeks
Humble, TX
We were starting all over! Our daughter Jade would be 17 and our son Vincent would be 11 when this baby would be born, but we were so ready. 

[Read more…]

Mom to
Tred, born still on June 5, 2008 at 21 weeks
Talya, born still on April 10, 2009 at 38 weeks
Twin Cities, Minnesota
I have had 3 healthy pregnancies so having any problems with pregnancy was never something we thought about. We found out I was pregnant in January of 2008 and at the time my husband was in a job transition so we didn’t have insurance. I thought it had been a while since I had my AF so I went to the store and bought a home kit and it was positive, I also went to the free local clinic and took a test and that also was positive. I was so excited! We weren’t trying but the surprise is always a welcome one. I called my DH at work and said “Are you sitting down”. I told him “We’re pregnant”. He couldn’t believe it. He was excited and scared as I was. We weren’t trying and it just happened. This has happened with all of our pregnancies except one. I started my prenatal vitamins and was on cloud 9 because I was going to have another baby!! I loved being pregnant!!
As time went on we slowly started to tell friends and family that we were having a 4th. Holy buckets, I was going to have another baby. I went on ebay and craigslist to find maternity clothes, baby clothes and then of course I was determined to breastfeed. I went online and was looking at cover-ups. I found a beautiful green one that was for both boys and girls. DH and I decided this would be our last baby because we were running out of bedrooms for the kids.

[Read more…]

Mommy to Sebastian Rush Scott
Born still on August 12th, 2010 at 21 weeks and 5 days
Mount Vernon, OH
The first person I told that I was pregnant, was my two year old daughter, Liliana… before I even took a pregnancy test.  I already knew that she would be the best big sister ever.  The next day, the home pregnancy test read positive and I took her to the book store to find a book about becoming a big sister.  That very book was her way of breaking the news to daddy:) 

[Read more…]

Mom to Matthew James Phillips
Born June 30th, 2010 at 21 weeks, 1 day
Columbus, Georgia
After taking 5 pregnancy tests and seeing positive results on each February 28th 2010, the shock finally started to tamper off.  I started bleeding on March 10th and panic set in.  My sister endured a loss at 20 weeks with twins and another at 26 weeks with a girl, and I was so scared I would endure the same fate.  I didn’t think I could handle it. 
After spending a whole day with my husband at the ER, the doctor labeled it as a “threatened miscarriage” and said everything seemed okay; they couldn’t explain the bleeding.  The bleeding stopped about nine days later.  I couldn’t go to an OB until I had insurance so my first ultrasound ended up being on April 15th.  I instantly fell in love with the little image moving around on the screen.  My baby was very active, and I was so relieved to see him.  My midwife put me on baby Aspirin because I have Lupus, but other than that, everything seemed alright.  She called him a “miracle baby” because of the Lupus.  Also, I had terrible morning sickness from March right up to delivery, and that was supposedly a great sign.  I really regret ever complaining about it because Matthew was definitely worth every minute of it. 

[Read more…]

Mom to Jacob
Stillborn on June 1st, 2010
Toronto, Ontario

I lost my first baby.

I suspected I was pregnant within a week of conceiving, but I waited another week to take a pregnancy test because I didn’t want to be disappointed and I thought it was too soon to get an accurate result. We were so happy when the pregnancy test was positive (and the 4 additional tests I took after that). I had 2 months of all day nausea that ended when I was 15 weeks pregnant, but if that meant I was pregnant then I didn’t mind.

[Read more…]

Mom to Gavin William
Born too early at 20 weeks, 6 days
January 9th, 2010

Getting pregnant was easy but not simple. We conceived our second son on our first IUI and injectables attempt. I couldn’t believe we succeeded the very first try. My pregnancy went perfectly until I began to notice some mucous discharge on the evening of January 7tn at 20 weeks and 4 days I honestly didn’t think much of it. Never could I have imagined it was the beginning of the end. The next morning I awoke to the same mucous discharge but now streaked with blood. I started to get concerned but headed off to work anyways. At lunch time I called labor and delivery because my Doctor and Nurse were both out that day. Triage said I should come in and get checked.
I thought I might have a urinary tract or yeast infection, something simple and treatable. The following is my birth story. Written in a time of fresh grief and shock, with some updates from today.
I sadly announce the birth and death of Gavin William January 9, 2010. He was 14oz and 10.5 inches long. I will love him always.

I never thought when I walked into labor and delivery Friday January 8, 2010 that I would be leaving with an empty tummy, broken heart and baby boy in the morgue.

When I arrived at labor and delivery I was considered low risk. Everyone assumed as I did that it was a urinary tract infection or something like that. As a result I waited for quite a while. While I waited for an assessment room I was asked to give a urine sample. At that time I discovered that there was more bleeding then there had been earlier. I let the nurse know and was sent back to the waiting area. When I did finally get into the assessment room the bleeding had increased. It was coming out with small bits of mucous. While I waited for the resident to come and check me it only got worse, I could feel it. I was also feeling some tenderness in my abdomen. My back was aching terribly but I chalked it up to sitting in the waiting room chair and sitting on the stretcher for hours. I never once thought it could be something else, something more sinister. I remember the nurse intermittently monitoring Gavin’s heartbeat. At one point he gave her a big kick. The first and last real kick I felt since I had an anterior placenta.

After a total 5 hour wait the resident came and did a speculum exam, and then a manual exam. She sat down on the side of the bed put her hand on my arm and said to me “I feel a bulging bag of waters and cannot feel any cervix.” I am sure my face just dropped, I know my heart sunk. I knew this wasn’t good. The Doctor asked me if there was someone with me. My husband Will was on his way but not there yet. They left me alone to call him. I called my parents too as they had my older son with them. I remember being almost hysterical trying to get the words out “I might lose the baby.” My mother not being the most tactful person said something like things happen for a reason and I had to hang up on her. It was not the supportive response I was hoping for.

The nurse brought the ultrasound equipment into the area and as soon as the image came up on the screen I saw a balloon of waters, I actually thought it was my bladder but it was my bag of waters in my vagina. My cervix was dilated to about 3cm. The resident also thought the placenta also appeared to be low lying, although this did not show up at my anatomy scan. Gavin was breach and doing fine the whole time.

[Read more…]

Mom to Willow Rose
Stillborn at 21 weeks on November 12th, 2009
Milwaukee, WI

I was once a teenage mother. After I married my husband in 2001 I knew I wanted to have another baby, even though my son was almost 10 when I married my husband. Shortly after we were married, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. With little money for fertility treatments, our hope of having another baby dwindled with each passing year. After friends announced pregnancy after pregnancy we began to except that our son would be an only child.

Since I had PCOS, my periods would be MIA for months at a time. One summer afternoon, I began to recognize some familiar symptoms. I had nausea, tender breasts and headaches. Finally I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!

It seems as soon as I gave birth to Olivia, I knew I wanted to get pregnant again. By the time she was born her big brother was 14 years old! This time my hubby and I sought the help of a fertility specialist. Our second round of Clomid we were pregnant again!

From the beginning the pregnancy wasn’t the same. The nausea was much worse and I had migraines daily. At one point during the pregnancy I felt empty, but I couldn’t describe this feeling (nor did I want to admit it) so I never said a word to anyone.

At 17 weeks I had a scheduled Dr.’s appointment. I never even told my husband about the appointment because he was so busy at work. These appointments were pretty routine and uneventful anyway. I pee in a cup, listen to the baby’s heartbeat, etc. This was the first Dr. appointment I’ve ever gone to sans my husband. I regretted that decision as soon as the Dr. couldn’t find the heartbeat. As I sat in the waiting room for the ultrasound tech to become available I text my husband. He called me back and insisted he was on his way. I convinced him not to come. As soon as the image appeared on the screen I saw the baby’s heart beating away. Everything was fine! Once I received the all clear I couldn’t help but ask what the sex was. I called my husband, teary-eyed from relief. “We’re having another girl!”

4 weeks later was the anatomy scan. We were still excited even though we already knew the sex. My husband was supposed to meet me at the Dr.’s office at 2pm, but of course he was late. The tech started the ultrasound without him. She explained that she would get the necessary “boring” stuff before hubby arrived. But after a few print outs she rushed out of the room, mumbling something about showing the Dr. something first. I instantly knew something was wrong. When she was leaving the room, my husband was arriving. I burst into tears. He couldn’t understand how I knew something was wrong when I never spoke with the Dr.

I remember sobbing in the Dr.’s office. My husband asked lots of questions, questions I couldn’t even think of. I also remember my Dr.’s cold demeanor. She often referred to my baby as “the product of conception”. She said it more times than I could count. I remember being ushered out the back door. God forbid I upset the happy, pregnant women in the waiting room. Those women would be able to go on, oblivious to the fact that our babies could be taken from us at any moment. I’m not sure how long my husband and I cried in the car.

[Read more…]

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