Mom to Richard Allen

May 16, 2016 – May 17, 2016

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

My husband and I found out we were pregnant on the eve of my 28th birthday. It seemed like the perfect birthday present and with each passing week, we felt that we were getting closer and closer to our dream of having a child. Every single appointment was perfect and I enjoyed a very healthy, trouble-free pregnancy. 

When I was 33 weeks and 5 days, I went into premature labor. No one was worried about it and although I was scared of giving birth, I was not worried about the health of my child. I was monitored in the hospital and they noticed a slight dip in my son’s heartbeat after each contraction. It seemed like he was not tolerating the contractions very well, but still, the doctors were optimistic. A biophysical profile ultrasound was ordered and this was when I knew something was wrong. His heart was beating, but it did not look like he was moving very much and he was not taking breaths. Still, the doctors were optimistic that he was just “sleepy” and ordered an immediate c-section. My husband and I were so excited to finally meet our son. 

I gave birth at 11:07pm and I didn’t get to see my son because the NICU team rushed him away. My husband stayed with him as the team worked tirelessly on him for an hour, but he finally succumbed to heart failure. It turned out that he had suffered a maternal fetal hemorrhage and was severely anemic. Nearly all of his blood had drained from his body and was in my own by crossing through the placenta. The doctors were baffled by what had occurred because it is so rare. 

The pain I have felt since May 16th has been unbearable and I pray that we someday have our rainbow baby and our happy ending. 
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  1. Dear Jackie, I would love to give you a big hug. I too lost a baby (one of my twin girls, Lola) in a similar fashion. She was born severely anemic and maternal fetal hemorrhage was the (partial) explanation. Her heartbeat seemed to be okay for a while during labor but by the time they determined something was wrong she had basically lost most of her blood and had suffered brain damage as a result. I also had an emergency C section. My story was published back in January of this year although I lost my baby in 2014. What you’re going through is truly the worst nightmare a parent can experience.

    • Liz, thank you. I read your story and it is truly heartbreaking that we have both experienced this. Thank you for your support.

  2. I am sorry for your loss.

  3. Bridget says:

    I am so sorry to hear about baby Richard Allen. I too lost my son at 41 weeks on 3/16/2016. I hope you find peace in the road ahead.

  4. What a sad story. So sorry for your loss.

  5. I am very sorry for your loss.

    xoxo, Ameli

  6. Jackie,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby, Richard Allen. I am only 10 months into my own grief and I have to say that it does get a little better every month. Please reach out any time.


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