Miscarried November 26, 2011


I was at work. When I went on break, I went to the washroom and there was a little blood in my underwear. Then I wiped and there was a little clot. So I called my doc’s office and told them to call my work number. At this time they were calling me down.

When I got down I saw one of my bosses, and I told her what was going on. She told me to sit down. Then my boss came up to me and said my doc was on the phone. I told my doc what was going on and she told me to go to the ER. So I clocked out.

I was crying my eyes out at this time. Then my sister’s friend saw me sitting down, so she called my sister and told her I was crying on the bench. I told her I needed to go to the ER. Meanwhile, I was texting my mom, as she was at work. Then my sister got there, and she asked me if I had everything I needed. I told her yes. Then she told me to call my daddy to tell him I had everything. I was also texting John. I told him that I would text him everything that was going on.

I got to the hospital. My mom met us there. I gave them all my stuff, ID, etc., then they drew some blood and took a pee sample, took my BP, and my temp. Then we waited in the waiting room for like two hours. Then they took me to ultrasound. I got there and got into a room, looked at the screen and he was all over the place, moving everywhere.

She said the baby looked fine. When I got back to the ER, the doc looked at everything and she said, “I am not sure if you are having a miscarriage. Some women bleed and we do not know why. You and your baby look ok, so you can go home and rest.” When I got home, I want to sleep. The bleeding had stopped.


I rested almost all day. I threw up, but we went to my brother’s house for dinner and I was fine. No bleeding. I still felt sick, like morning sickness. Got home, went to the bathroom and yelled for my mom.  I saw a big clot…it was not the baby. Then I went to the movie to see “Breaking Dawn” with my sister, then came home and went to bed.


When I woke up and went to the bathroom, I was bleeding again lightly. So, I stayd in bed with my feet up and called my doc’s office again and told them. All they told me was to stay in bed, so I did. All I did was watch TV and sleep all day. I got some food in my tummy to feed my baby. I went thorough 3 pads in that day.


I woke up with a little cramping. I was not hurting bad, so I slept, but then get it got bad. Mom asked, “Are you constipated?” I was like, “Maybe that is why I am cramping.” I took some stool softeners. The pain got bad. My mom gave me some food, and I ate some, but it came back up. I just kept on going to the bathroom. I also tried a heating pad, but it did not work. I went to the bathroom again. My dad asked me if I was ok. When he asked me, I was throwing up in a bucket in the bathroom.

He called John and told him that I was going to the ER. I got dressed. When I got upstairs, I was putting on my shoes when I saw John pull up in the driveway. He came in the house asked if we wanted to go in the truck. I told him it was too high for me to get into, so John followed us to the hospital. We got to the hospital and John got to me with a wheelchair.

I waited for my turn to see the front desk. At this point I was screaming with pain; I could not talk. Then it was my turn and I was crying, trying to talk to them. We went into the room again and they drew more blood, took my BP, temp and everything they needed. They gave me something for nausea, and then sent me back to the waiting room. We sat there and sat there. It felt like I had to go to the restroom, so my mom pushed me to the restroom. They needed a pee sample and nothing came out. At this point I felt dizzy and it felt like I was going to pass out, so my mom said, “Sit here and I will get the wheelchair.” I got back in the wheelchair and we went back into the waiting room…waiting and waiting. My mom signed me in, and then more waiting. Then I heard my name they took me to the pediatric emergency room it was a very small room. The doc came in, and then the nurse came in with the ultrasound to check for a heartbeat. There was a heartbeat. They checked me and saw there was a lot of old blood in me so they took it out.

The doc gave me some pain medicine. It did not even work. We waited in the room so they could send me to ultrasound. When they came to get me they had a wheelchair.  I told them, “I can’t be in that,” so they got me a bed. I started to bleed more when I stood up to get in the other bed.

When I got to ultrasound she was pushing on my tummy. Man, it hurt so bad. I was crying. The ultrasound person said I was bleeding a lot. The baby still had a heartbeat but it was pointing down. We got back to my room, and then they gave me more pain meds. I lay there, fell asleep, and then awoke in pain; I fell back asleep, and woke up again in pain, and then I lay different on my side.

John left, and I told him we would text him if anything happened. I slept on and off. Then, around 10:15 I felt a clot come out. I told my mom to clean it up. Then I felt something else come out , to me it felt like another clot. Then I heard my mom say, “IT’S THE BABY.” I told my mom, “I want to see it”. My mom said, “It has little feet and hands. “ I had to push out the placenta. Then my mom put the baby on a mat and sat down by me while the doc worked on me to help get the bleeding to stop.

I just looked at my little angel and talked to him. He just lay there with his arms on his chest, his legs crossed. I uncrossed his legs so I could see if he was a boy or girl. To me and my mom, he looked like a boy.

My mom called and texted everyone that she could think of to tell them I lost the baby. He was 5 inches, and for 13 weeks that was tall. I looked online and read that at 13 weeks they are 3 inches. He was going to be my sports star. I miss him playing the drums on my right hip. Mommy and Daddy love you so much, dear Angel.

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  1. I really feel for you it’s a terribly painful experience, worse than actually having a full term baby labour in my experience. Then the birth itself is so insignificant….I was on my own when I delivered my boy, he held my finger for a while the the nurse came in and in all the hustle and bustle and drugged induced stupor I don’t know what happened to him next, I know now that I was whisked into surgery to remove the placenta and stop me bleeding out, but I just know I never saw my baby again and to this day do not know what happened to him, his body……… It’s such an ethereal experience one that is not marked by society or any form of public grieving ritual. I do hope you feel less devastated now, best wishes

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