Mom to Ava Marie

Born and Died on January 3, 2012

Kansas City, Missouri


I married the love of my life in June of 2010. A little over a year after that, we decided that we wanted to start a family.

We were very lucky to find out in September of 2011 that we were expecting! We were absolutely thrilled and already in love with this beautiful little baby. You know when people say that they want to be a doctor or a teacher when they grow up. Well, ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be a mom; so I was unbelievably happy.

My pregnancy was rather eventful from the beginning. I had hyper-emesis throughout the pregnancy (which is a severe form of morning sickness where you aren’t able to keep anything down and it’s difficult to drink and or eat). From about 10 weeks on, we had to go into the hospital once a week to be replenished through IV. I honestly didn’t mind being sick other than I constantly worried about whether or not our little baby was getting enough nutrients. Every doctor told us the hyper-emesis wouldn’t hurt our baby, so we were in pretty good spirits and just got used to seeing the OB every week (plus it was fun to hear her perfect little heart just beating away every visitJ). At 16 weeks, I had to undergo gall bladder removal surgery as they thought this was causing the hyper-emesis to be as severe as it was. I remember crying the entire time in pre-op hoping she would be fine. Both our baby and I came out of surgery just fine and it was great to hear her heart beating strong right after surgery. 2 weeks later we went to a perinatologist to see if they could help at all with everything and they found a hematoma on her brain (that is also when we found out she was a girl). The doctor said she would most likely be fine as the type of hematoma she had would probably be absorbed into her body. So although we were scared, his reassurance helped a bit. A little over 2 weeks after that, I was admitted into the hospital again in order to get some more fluids. While at the hospital, they sent us to our perinatologist so he could check on us again. What I thought would be a routine check-up ended up being the worst day of our lives. We went into the doctor’s office and got set up right away to have a sonogram. We were so excited to see our little girl just kicking away like always (she had some powerful kicks let me tell you!). But, instead of seeing her kick and hearing her heart beating, we saw and heard nothing. There was silence in the room and the doctor then told us the worst. Our little girl had gone to heaven just over 20 weeks into the pregnancy. Our world came crashing down on us and my husband and I were broken after hearing the news (we still are).

We then were rushed to L&D to be induced and deliver her. They gave me Cytotec to induce labor and although they offered me an epidural, I refused because I wanted to feel everything. These were some of the last moments I would have with her and I wanted to feel every little sensation that came along with it. I even asked my husband to count contractions with me so that we could have some sense of normalcy throughout a situation that was anything but normal. Ava Marie was born at 11:03 pm on January 3, 2012 and was the most precious baby I have ever seen. We fell in love with her the day we found out we were pregnant, but seeing her and holding her was the most amazing moment of our lives. My heart was even more consumed with love for her. She was so beautiful and perfect in every way. My husband and I held her all night and the nurses got her cute little feet and hand prints as well as some pictures of her. The nurses were so wonderful during such a difficult situation. I will be forever grateful to all of them!  After all the blood work on both of us, the doctor said I most likely contracted Parvovirus during the first trimester and it unfortunately passed to her. We miss her every single day and we can’t wait to meet her again in heaven someday!

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  1. Aunt Kelly says:

    I know that my beautiful niece’s spirit is in the care of our grandmother and is now a guardian angel for my children. I love you, Ava.

  2. Jessica says:

    I’m so incredibly sorry. My son was due around the same time Ava was. He was born still at 23 weeks. I can’t imagine going through all of the things you did. Please know you’re not alone and I know how you feel. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    • Thank you so very much Jessica for reading our story and I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. I will definitely have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I hate that this tradegy has to happen to any of us, but the women that I’ve met through this journey have made me realize what strong people we truly are. Sending hugs your way!

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