Mom to Bean Bunny

Lost on February 24, 2012

Decatur, Illinois


My husband and I found out January 7, 2012 that we were expecting our first child. We were so excited and happy.

After my first doctors appointment we learned that my gestational sac was empty and our baby had stopped developing very early on. We waited two weeks for another doctor since the first showed no sympathy, not even a simple “sorry”. So after seeing the second doctor who was much kinder, he informed us that the sac was still empty and now starting to collapse. We had been grieving already for the past two weeks and decided to do a d&c the next morning with the new doctor. I would have been one day short of 11 weeks. I miss my baby so much and it hurts when people think that because the sac was empty that there never was a baby, because there was they just didn’t make it past a couple of weeks. I grieve for my first child and dream of him or her playing in a field of daffodils (my favorite flower) in Heaven.

You can contact Elizabeth at pomlove89@gmail.com.

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  1. Elizabeth,
    I have lost three babies and it doesn’t matter how early you are. The moment you find out there’s a little life growing inside you, you already have loved them through their entire life. You have pictured their first cry, their first word, their first steps. Maybe even them graduating and getting married. When you lose them, you grieve not only their life, but all the hopes you had for them. Those who make insensitive comments likely have never had their hearts broken this way. It’s hard not to be hurt by their ignorance. Some people just don’t understand. Surround yourself with those full of love and support. Those who want to hear about your feelings. Those who just listen and may not know what to say, but you’ll see your pain in their eyes and find comfort in that. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Reach out, when you’re ready, and those of us who know your pain will be here.

    • My husband & I also found out on January 7, 2012 that we were expecting our first child. It was my husband’s birthday. I had a small amount of spotting after my 8 week ultrasound, but was told that this could be due to the vaginal ultrasound. To be sure, the doctor did another ultrasound & baby was fine with a heartbeat around 160. We went back to the doctor on March 6th for our 12 week scan. The ultrasound tech found no heartbeat & said our baby stopped developing around 9 and a half weeks. I had a D&C the next day. I feel like my future has crumbled. My husband has been wonderfully supportive & so has my family, but I feel an ache and emptiness now. I cry a lot. I know we will try again, and hopefully things will go better next time, but I just don’t know what to do now. I feel silly in a way. I know that so many women have gone through this & gone on to have healthy children; I can get through this. Mom mom miscarried her first pregnancy before having my sister & I. So when will I feel better? I know my hormones are out of control right now & that is wrecking havoc on my emotions, plus this all happened one week ago, but it feels uncontrollable at times. I just want to forget the past 2 months, and start fresh. Thank you for this site… I don’t feel so alone now.

  2. Elizabeth,
    My heart aches and hurts so much for you . I know the love you have for your little Bean Bunny . A mom’s love is so precious,

    and as Grandma to Bean Bunny I miss them greatly ! They are in the arms of Jesus and I can imagine Christin holding Bean

    Bunny and telling them how much you love them . And Andrew running and showing Bean Bunny all around the daffodil fields

    and telling them how much you love them . My two babies are with your precious Bean Bunny , some sweet day we will all

    see each other . Love you so much sweet daughter .

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