Mom to Daniel Thomas

July 19th, 2011

Wyoming, Michigan

I was 14 weeks pregnant driving home from my parents’ house with my two year old daughter, when I was rear ended. It was really just a “bump”, I had thought at the time. Everyone was ok, and we left the scene unharmed. I called my OB to let them know what happened, and asked if they thought I should be seen. The doctor on call, who was not my personal doctor, but a partner said, “I would definitely think you should come in and be sure everything is ok. After all, wouldn’t you feel terrible if you had a miscarriage in a week?”

I went to the ER, waited forever as I was a low priority compared to traumas, got my first ultrasound picture, and was told everything was fine. A couple days later I began to bleed a little. More than spotting, but not heavy bleeding. I went in to my doctor, and she diagnosed it as placental bleeding. She explained that most likely, part of my placenta had detached during the accident, but 90% of the time it heals itself. She told me to take it easy.

That night I felt something funny. I went to the bathroom and had what I thought was a large blood clot. I called yet again, and spoke to the doctor on call, who was the same doctor who suggested I come in after the accident. She said it was probably just my body healing itself, and to call again in the morning. Little did I know, it was a part of my placenta.

I didn’t sleep well that night. When I woke up the next morning, I had contractions beginning, strong and fast. My Mom had come over to watch my daughter while I was going to leave for the doctor, and again, I felt something strange. I went to the bathroom and delivered my baby in the toilet. As soon as I saw the head coming out I screamed. My baby was in the toilet. It was the worst image and I’ll never forget it.

My husband rushed home, my Mom had gotten the baby out for me, and we went into the doctor. I had started bleeding heavier at this point. She did a D & C right there in the office, and guessed my baby was a girl. It was the single worst day of my life. I wasn’t pregnant anymore and the life inside me had ended. We made burial and autopsy arrangements.

Two weeks later, I went in for a checkup. My doctor had said I had a placental abruption. After the autopsy, the measurements showed the baby was a boy. It was so hard to be in that office again.

We planted a tree for our baby, and I cry everyday missing him. THREE of my sisters-in-law were all due the same month I was. They are all having boys. When I see their pregnant bellies, I feel so many emotions. Jealousy, sadness, anger, yet I’m so happy for them.  

We are trying for our third child, and I’ll never forget the precious 14 weeks I had with our baby boy.

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  1. Im so sorry for your loss,I hope & wish the bes for you.I will keep you in my prayers.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re allowing yourself time to grieve.

    I lost my son at 16 in March from placental abruption which was caused by a subchorionic hemmerage. Not exactly the same, but there are many simliarities. Reading your words makes it all so fresh. Know that you are not alone.

    If this offers any sort of hope, my due date just passed on the 2nd and until that point my grief was nearly constant. I really missed being pregnant. But as the weeks pass the load lightens each day. I’m hopeful to find happiness again and I will hope this for you too.

    Take care of yourself.


  3. Dear Jen,
    I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful, precious baby, Daniel Thomas! I am just so very, very sorry. Your story broke my heart! I wish you all the best and will pray for you. We lost our son, Daniel, in February of this year. I will keep you all in our prayers. Know you have a friend if you would like to chat sometime. Many wonderful women helped me along the way. God bless you, your family, and your Angel Daniel!
    Much Love,

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