Mom to Christopher Robin

March 7, 2010

Miscarriage at 18 weeks

Beverly, NJ

It all began December 5, 2009. I went to Target that morning to get a shirt for my company Christmas party and a pregnancy test.  I thought should I buy the store brand because they always come out negative!

I took the test and it was positive before I even put it down to wait for the results.  I was in such shock that shoved it back in the wrapper and threw it in the trash! We tried to get pregnant for a long time and nothing happened and now there it was a little pink plus sign.

I had some bleeding early on but after a little rest everything seemed to be going perfectly. All of the testing went great.  Other then the “every minute of the day” sickness and the fact that his father was less then interested, my life was perfect.

I am a worrier. I worry about everything and everyone.  At my doctors visit on Wednesday March 3rd I heard his little heart beat for the first time! It was like the best song I ever heard! I knew right then he was a he and it made me relax and let go of the worry that something was going to go wrong. I had the biggest smile plastered on my face until 6:14am Friday March 5th… I was finishing up my night at work laughing and joking about the baby with a co-worker when I stood up and started to feel like I was peeing myself. My first feeling was embarrassment because I was peeing myself in front of this man! But my embarrassment quickly turned to fear when I could make it stop.  He walked me to the bathroom, which was pretty far away, where I called my mom and told her something was wrong and to get dressed. I was still not sure what was going on I wasn’t bleeding nothing seemed different then pee to me.

I called the doctor he told me to go to the hospital and wished me luck. When I got to the hospital the exam didn’t show any amniotic fluid. The doctor said I had to stay the night but that I probably just peed myself. To be safe I was sent down stairs to have an ultrasound and as soon as she put the wand on my belly I knew the fluid was gone. You couldn’t really see anything. He did let me see his little face for his last picture…

The doctor took what felt like forever to call me in to tell me that my water broke and my pregnancy was no longer viable.

My sweet angel Christopher Robin came and left on a beautiful Sunday morning and I haven’t been the same person since…

You can reach Robin at


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  1. I am so so sorry for your loss. We named our beautiful son Christopher Robin, too.

  2. Vanessa says:

    I am so sorry for your loss of Christopher Robin, what a beautiful name. Wishing you all the best and many blessings.

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