Mom to Laron Clay

April 16th, 2011

Coalgate, Oklahoma

Our story begins in February 2010.

For as long as I can remember, one of the most important things I have wanted in my life was to be a mom. In February of 2010 I was told at my yearly appointment that in order to get pregnant I would have to get on medication. I accepted this and decided that eventually when we were ready I would get on the medicine and hopefully not have a difficult time getting pregnant. After that appointment I received notice that my pap smear had returned abnormal and I needed to come in for the cells to be checked. I returned to the doctor in May only to discover that the cells were between grades 1 and 2 dysplasia. My doctor informed me that he wanted to remove the cells in order to keep them from becoming cancerous and an appointment was set up for April.

April 13th we returned to the doctor for the procedure in order to remove these cells, but to our surprise the procedure could not be done because I was pregnant! I could not believe it as it had only been 2 months since I had been told I would need to get on medication for this to happen. We were very excited and couldn’t believe that this had happened. Things went fairly smoothly even though I experienced some mild morning sickness. In June we returned for a routine appointment which included an ultrasound. By this time I should have been almost 11 weeks along. When the ultrasound tech started doing the ultrasound I immediately noticed that something was wrong. Not only did I not see a heartbeat but the estimate of how far along the baby should be said 6 weeks and 3 days. We were then taken into a room to talk to the doctor where he informed us that the baby had died and that a D&C would need to be done. I was taken in the very next day for the D&C. I was absolutely devastated. The one thing I had been wanting at this time in my life I had lost.

Later that year in November my body had been acting kind of strange and I decided to take a pregnancy test, fully expecting that it would come back not pregnant. To my surprise it was positive! I was so excited that I could not wait to tell Lc, my fiancé. After letting him know we decided that after our loss with the first baby we would wait to tell everybody until we were past the 12 week mark; however, I was too excited and we shared the news. This pregnancy did not go so smooth for me. I had extreme morning sickness for the first 14 weeks. I would be sick from morning until night but it did not bother me too much because I knew morning sickness indicated a healthy pregnancy. At that 14 week mark my morning sickness began to subside and I began to feel a whole lot better.

One night while lying on the couch I experienced extreme pain in my upper right abdomen and around through my back and we immediately went to the emergency room. Blood work was done and the doctor diagnosed me with heartburn. He explained to me that my blood work came back fine but that sometimes you cannot tell about your gallbladder from just the blood work and that sometimes ultrasounds need to be done; however, he did not believe that I needed one at this time. I called my doctor and explained that I had had this problem and they fit me in for an appointment that next week. When I described the pain to the midwife she stated that it could possibly be my gallbladder and that she would set me an appointment for an ultrasound but that it would be in 4 weeks and in the meantime to watch what I ate. So I cut out all fried and fatty foods and watched what I ate and that seemed to manage it for the most part.

In the meantime, we went for our gender determination ultrasound and found out that we were having a boy. His name, Laron Clay had already been picked out. His daddy’s name is Loron Clay and we wanted him named after him. One week before I was scheduled for that ultrasound I began having constant pain and was not able to hold down anything, including water. I was eventually taken in for surgery and my gallbladder removed. Prior to the surgery, the surgeon came in and talked to me and stated that if I was going to have this removed now would be the best time because I was in the second trimester which meant the baby was through with most development and that my uterus would not be in the way. I also knew that because I wasn’t able to hold down anything and had lost 20 pounds since being pregnant that that was also not healthy for him. So into surgery I went. Laron did great and the hospital did great monitoring him.

After the surgery things got a whole lot better. I felt better and no longer had the pain that had come along with my gallbladder. A fairly smooth pregnancy continued for another 12 weeks. Then one night I started feeling sick and believed that I was coming down with a virus. I also had pain in my stomach but I believed that to be a part of the virus. I did notice that Laron was sitting in a different position and that it made it very uncomfortable for me; however, he moved to several positions during this time. At 5:30 on the morning of April 16th I began bleeding and we immediately rushed to the emergency room. We were sent on by ambulance to the hospital that I would see my regular doctor in as we live in a very small town. When we arrived at the hospital I was hurting extremely bad and having contractions. The doctor did an ultrasound and told us that Laron had not made it. I was checked into the hospital and given an epidural. Laron Clay was born at 5:56 pm at 28 weeks and 2 days. Our families were there and we got to hold and spend time with him; however, it will never be enough time for me. I have questioned so many times: What could I have done different? Why did he not get to live? And how did he come through everything like surgery and not survive this? I was told it was a placental abruption and that there is nothing I could have done to prevent it or to change it. Even though Laron didn’t make it he is still our baby boy and we are still his mommy and daddy. Laron changed our lives for the better and no matter what he will always have my heart.

You can contact Kaci at kaci.koen@yahoo.com

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  1. hi laci…i just finished reading your story. i am so very sorry for your losses. i can not imagine the pain of losing a baby so far along…at any time for that matter…
    i completely know the feeling of utter surprise when you see that positive pregnancy test…
    it’s hard not to start planning right away when it’s something you’ve wanted most in life.
    just wanted to send some love and wish you all the best!
    i hope that you are blessed again very soon…with the family you so deserve.
    my story is above on june 2nd
    i will keep you in my prayers :)

    • Thank you very much Maria. I sure appreciate your kind words. And like you said, it is so hard no matter how far along you are. I also wish you the best of luck on your family!

  2. OOPS sorry, i mean, kaci…not laci…pressed the wrong key! :)

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