Mom to Cale – Ectopic Pregnancy Lost at 5 weeks on August 5th, 2010

Lydia – Miscarriage Lost at 6 weeks on October 20th, 2010

and Harper – Miscarriage Lost at 6.5 weeks  on March 10th, 2011

Mogadore, Ohio

I am a mother of a 2 year old son, so I feel  guilty writing about my losses as I already have a living child, but I have come to learn that any loss is painful so I am here to share my story.  My husband and I decided that it seemed like the right time to start trying around June of 2010.  We had no issues with our son so we assumed this would be a breeze and I was, at the time, uneducated and unaware of any situation involving any kind of pregnancy loss.  However, that changed all too quickly. 

I got pregnant fast, by the end of July we were expecting and excited.  We told everyone, why wait?  Then the first week of August I began to bleed.  I thought maybe it was normal so I let it go since it was just spotting.  It stopped for a day and I thought all was well.  Then another day of spotting.  I decided to call the doctor and they had me come in immediately for an ultrasound.  The ultrasound tech was really nice going over each thing she was looking at and once she got to my left fallopian tube she stopped talking and said she would be right back.  At that point I knew something was horribly wrong.  When the doctor came in with the tech and they reviewed the ultrasound further, the doctor turned to me and began to explain that there was no sign of anything in my uterus and that I had fluid visible around my left fallopian tube.  Because it was so early he didn’t want to say positively that it was ectopic but that most likely that was the case and he suggested we head to the emergency room.  Once we arrived they did blood work and another ultrasound all which confirmed that it was indeed an ectopic pregnancy.  Furthermore, the ultrasound at the hospital indicated that the tube had ruptured and I was bleeding into my abdomen and so required emergency surgery to have part of my tube removed.  I was devastated, I could hardly think, I had a migraine, everything was happening so fast.  It was an hour long laparoscopic surgery.  I woke up and they sent me home.  It took a week to recover from the surgery but I was bound and determined not to let this hold me back from trying again.

The doctor said that I was good to try again after one cycle.  So that is what we did.  Low and behold by the end of September I was pregnant again!  Of course the nerves set in, “is it in the other tube?”.  They monitored me closely and set me up for an early ultrasound.  We made it to the six week mark and went in for the ultrasound and we were relieved to see that it was not in the tube.  However, when they looked inside the uterus, there was a sac but no baby.  The doctor advised me that we would follow my blood work for the next couple days to see how things went.  But then two days later I started to bleed.  Another ultrasound following would confirm that this would be a miscarriage.  However, after a week I was unable to pass the baby on my own and required a D&C.  I was in complete and udder shock.  The doctor advised that this seemed to be just two cases of bad luck and suggested that if we wanted to try again that we wait 3 cycles and when I became pregnant again to call for early monitoring once again.

So we were hesitant at first to try a third time but decided we would go for it.  By the end of February we were once again expecting!  There was no excitement this time, only horrible nervousness and stress.  We scheduled our six week ultrasound and waited for what seemed like an eternity.  We made it in and saw a heartbeat, we were ecstatic.  Everything we have ever heard was that if there is a heartbeat you are less likely to miscarry.  Then two days later I started to spot which then turned to bleeding.  We went in for a second ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat, we left confused.  Then three days later I passed a large solid mass which was later confirmed by ultrasound to be the baby.  I was devastated.  My two prior experiences were so different from this, nobody told me you could pass a sac or a baby all intact like that.  I was horrified when it happened, scared and just an absolute wreck inside.  According to the ultrasound everything had passed on its own so I didn’t require surgery.

We met with our doctor to discuss why this was happening.  I had a hysterosalpingography that confirmed my uterus is of normal size and shape with no blockages in the other tube.  I had a full thrombophilia blood work up that revealed no blood clotting issues.  So now we are waiting for the doctor to talk to us about what he thinks would be the next best step.  The thought of trying again scares me and I think I will need some time to recover and to heal from these losses before I can decide what is best for our family.

The memory of these little souls will never be lost, for I held them inside of me, no matter how small, I love them just the same, and won’t forget them at all, my Cale, Lydia, & Harper.

You can contact Carla at

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