Mom to Brett Allen
Born Still June 2nd, 2008
Park, Kansas
After having one child I finally had convinced my husband to start trying for our second child in June of 2007. I have ovulation issues and have to be on Clomid to help us conceive. I was on Clomid with my first pregnancy and we were shocked that it only took us one cycle to get pregnant, so we expected the same with my second pregnancy. 

This time it took us 4 months to conceive. I was taking my basal body temps and just knew that this cycle was not for us and I had already had blood work with the Dr.’s office and he had said that he would call in 150 mg of Clomid for me to take the next cycle. Well to our surprise I never started and took the pregnancy test the day I was to start, two lines showed up right away. I called the Dr.’s office and due to my low progesterone issues he had me come right in and we did blood work. On that next Monday I called to get my results and found that my progesterone level went from 10.6 on 1 day after ovulation to 66.1 10 days later, I looked it up and it stated that those levels could indicate multiples or molar pregnancy. I just knew in my heart that I was going to have twins. The Dr. was going to wait til I was 8 weeks before we would have our first u/s. I started spotting at 5 weeks by 6 weeks I was still spotting and it was more intense so they scheduled a u/s. I was 6 weeks 5 days when it was confirmed by u/s that we were having twins. I was so excited and so surprised since I had several dreams indicating I was having twins.

My pregnancy was going great, I was feeling good and my Dr.’s had told us that the risk factors were very high with twin pregnancy but I didn’t really listen to him about them and figured that it would never happen to us. My spotting stopped and everything was going good and at 16 weeks we found out both twins were boys. I was slightly disappointed since I was hoping that one was a girl and I was not fully convinced until the 20 weeks u/s that both were for sure boys, even though everyone else knew that they really were boys.

I went into premature labor at 26 weeks, but they were able to get the contractions to stop with a shot and after a day of monitoring I was sent home and allowed to work until 30 weeks. The Dr. then had me stop working due to my traveling and being out in a very rural area of Kansas with my Dr. being over 3 hours away at times. I was placed on modified bed rest to just take it easy. Everything was still going well, but I just kept having a hard time feeling that I was truly going to bring two babies home. My mom and best friend had a shower for me in April and I wouldn’t open any of the duplicates, I just kept saying “God forbid something happens, I just can’t do it yet.”

At 35 weeks 5 days we had a biophysical profile the only one through the pregnancy. It showed for the first time that the boys were measuring a week apart in measurements. The Dr. had always said not to worry unless they were more than a week apart since they were in separate sacks and it was just like they were two separate pregnancies. They both scored an 8 out of 8 on the profiles which is the best, but the sono tech had a very hard time getting baby A, Brett to have a gross motor movement, but he finally did and he said he was just a sleep.

At my next apt the Dr. was not concerned at all with the difference in sizes and said that we were on for the scheduled C-section at 38 weeks on June 5. At 36 weeks 4 days we had a F4 tornado that came within ½ mile from our house and I was so scared and I thought if that didn’t send me into labor then nothing would.

Well at midnight on June 1, 2008 I went into labor. I progress very quickly and our local hospital is not equipped to deliver twins so we had to go to the larger hospital an hour away. My local Dr. wanted to ride in the ambulance with me due to me being at a 4 when I got to Quinter and I was an 8 by the time the ambulance got there. They had me all hooked up to the monitors and everything they thought was great, they were so relieved when we got to the larger hospital and they were all ready for us. I have now read in my medical records that once we got there that they had a hard time locating baby A’s heart rate, but no one said anything. 

I had the C-section and Brett was born at 3:30 silently, but I didn’t know it until baby B, Blaine was born screaming and doing well. I wait a little bit and then realized there should be the next one and that’s when they informed me that he was being worked on. They worked on him for 23 minutes but then called his death. The Dr. stated that he feels he passed days before, but it is unknown for sure. Since we are in Western Kansas they had never had a live birth at the same time as a stillborn, so they didn’t know how to handle our situation real well.

We chose not to have an autopsy and due to the condition of his skin, we chose not to keep him for very long so the funeral home came and took him by 10 a.m. the next morning. We have just recently found out in March this year that I have protein S. deficiency which is a blood clotting disorder and that was probably the cause of his death, but they will not rule it as that, but we will be on blood thinners if we do get pregnant again as a preventive measures as of right now.

We only have the one picture the hospital took of our son and that is one of the hardest things, but I did find a lady to draw picture of my two son’s and we represent Brett as star so we include stars in most of our life. Brett’s surviving twin and older brother talk about and include Brett in our life all the time and that is what keeps us going. This year we started a remembrance walk at Scott Lake and we plan on doing this every year since there are very few remembrance events in Kansas and none that I am aware of in Western Kansas. Our event is named Reflecting on remembering our Tiny Precious Angels. I find that my goal with the event is to celebrate his short life and the life of all the angel babies and children taken to soon.

You can contact Jaime at jtkinderknecht@yahoo.com
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