Sophie
Mom to Jaiden Mark Keith Gray
Stillborn on May 27th, 2010
Wiltshire, UK
The worst experience ever….. Sunday, May 23rd, I stayed over my mums house ready to go out for the day with the family the next day. We arrived at the beach, and it was such a lovely day spending time with the family as well as the sun being out. Later on that day, I went to my home where me and my partner David live together. I decided to stay at my mums again that night, as me and David had a falling out. 

So when I arrived back at my mums I was watching some telly, then went to bed at about 23:00. I woke up at about 4-5ish in the morning for the normal wake-up of Jaiden kicking me through the night. That was his routine! I finally fell back to sleep and woke up in the morning and made up with David. Everything was back to normal, until i thought it was weird that Jaiden hadn’t kicked me all day and that the last time I had felt him was in the early hours of the morning. 
I decided to leave it until bed time as it was late in the evening anyway, and I knew he would always become active as soon as he knew his mummy was relaxed. So I got ready for bed a few hours later, with him still not kicking. As a first time mum I didn’t know what to expect or if I was just being over protective. I put a film on in bed and fell asleep. 
Come 3:00 in the morning waking up to go to the toilet, I noticed he still hadn’t woke me up. I woke my partner up to tell him Jaiden hasn’t kicked me and I was really worried. He said let’s go to the hospital, but I didn’t want to. I really thought there was nothing wrong and I was definitely overreacting. I then managed to get back to sleep. I woke up in the morning and rang my mum and told her I hadn’t felt anything all night. She said I have to go to the hospital, telling me that it was probably okay, but to just get it checked. I was so scared! I asked my sister to come with me, thinking David didn’t need to as there was nothing wrong! I wasn’t expecting any bad news at all. 
I arrived at the hospital, and I was seen straight away! I was put on a monitor to monitor the heartbeat. The sonographer couldn’t pick up any heartbeat and told me it was probably just that the baby had his back to us. She then took me in the room to be scanned. The man came in straight away to scan me, and he scanned me for about 10 minutes. He went to get another sonographer for another opinion on what he was seeing. The sonographer was a lady, she scanned me, within 3-4 minutes of looking at the screen she knew what she was seeing. She just looked at me and then that’s when it became the worst day of my life! She told me my baby’s heartbeat had stopped. I broke down into tears and couldn’t stop crying. They told me I would have to give birth to my baby sometime soon, as I was 27w+5days. I thought it was all a dream. 
I then had to come home and tell David and the rest of the family the dreadful news. I went home and broke the horrible news. I said to David I have to go back up there now, I just wanted to get it all over and done with. I got my hospital bag ready and went off to the hospital. They started me of  01:30 in the morning, then I went down to delivery at 11:00 in the morning, and had my gorgeous little boy at 12:12 in the afternoon. He was so prefect weighing in at 2lbs 2 ounces. I had my little boy blessed at the hospital on the 1st June and his beautiful funeral on the 14th June. I didn’t agree to have a post-mortem autopsy, but had blood tests done, with the results coming back that I had a blood clot on my womb which caused no oxygen to my baby as the placenta was pushed away. 
My little boy has gone but he will always be in my heart. R.I.P Jaiden. Sleep tight. I love you.
You can contact Sophie at sophie.miles91@googlemail.com
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