Jessica
Mommy to an angel baby
October 8th, 2010
Lancaster, Ohio

On August 23rd 2008 I married my high school sweetheart and my best friend.We have been together for 7 years and married for 2 of them. I have dreamed of being a mommy since I can remember! When my husband Jeremy and I got married we always knew we wanted children but we decided to wait a year or two and enjoy our marriage! We finally sat down and talked about having a baby, we decided it was time. 

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/507.html

Nycole
Mom to Catherine Lynn Kaat, Born and died January 2nd, 2005
Dakota and Adrianne Kaat, June 18th & 20th
Sheboygan, Wisconsin
I found out I was pregnant with Catherine when I was 15, she was my first child. I didn’t find out till I was already 12 weeks pregnant with her, and at first I had planned on giving her up for adoption. When I was 20 weeks pregnant with her, I went into false labor, and she ended up dropping into the birth canal. 
 For the next 7 weeks I was on bed rest. At 2:00 am on Jan 2, I had contractions again. I didn’t know I was having them since I was only 15, my first pregnancy, and it felt like I had gas, or like I was constipated. My mom called the hospital and they said if I wasn’t bleeding not to come in. While my mom was on the phone, I ended up delivering her in our bathroom. Only two pushes and she were out. My water never broke, so she drowned. I got to the hospital and the doctors straight out said there was nothing they could do. They didn’t even try.  It’s been 5 and a half years since I said good-bye, and there isn’t a day I don’t think of her, and wonder what life would have been like if she would have made it.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/506.html

Brad
Dad to Nathan William
December 18th, 2009
New Cumberland, PA
For many years my wife and I have been trying to have kids. We went to fertility doctors and my wife was diagnosed with PCOS which damped our spirit. We didn’t give up and kept on trying. After a while we figured that it just wasn’t going to happen. We went through a very rough patch in our relationship and even separated for a little while due to differences of opinion. We needed time to figure things out and if being married and having no children was right for us. We realized that our love was all that mattered and reconciled. We decided that it was easier to just not talk about having a child and we we about things without question.
 

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/505.html


Mandy
Mom to Hayden & Garrett
May 21st, 2009
Alcova, Wyoming

After a year of emotional ups and downs, negative pregnancy tests, and fertility tests our struggle was over. Or so we thought. I woke up the morning of February 10th to a teeny bit of spotting. Suspecting my period was once again on it’s way I called my dr’s office to start yet another cycle of trying only to be told it could be implantation spotting and to take a test. After a lot of encouragement from my husband I finally took the test. I was so excited when I stepped out of the shower and saw two very dark lines. My husband was overjoyed when he heard me yelling for him and I announced it was positive. I called for our first appointment as soon as the dr office opened the next morning. The next 18 1/2 weeks were incredible even though I had morning sickness bad on account of having to get progesterone shots every week for the first 12 weeks. I enjoyed getting bigger and planning for this sweet miracle.
 

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/504.html

Shannon
Miscarriage at 9 weeks 4 days on November 10th, 2008
Whitby, Ontario, Canada
I’ve always known I wanted children.  Well before I’d even met the man I wanted to have them with, they were wanted.  And thanks to a lifetime of irregular cycles, my greatest desire soon turned to my greatest fear – that as much as I wanted children, I wouldn’t be able to have them.
So far, my fears have been realized.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/502.html

Bobbie
Mom to Johnathan JT Thomas Michael Poling
August 29th, 2006 – May 17th, 2007
 We were blessed with the birth of our son on August 29, 2006. He was born 15 weeks early, and weighing a whopping 1lb 15 1/2 ounces and 13 1/4 in. We name him Johnathan Thomas Michael Poling,  JT for short. His name was a long as he was. We laughed about that. My husband didn’t want a Junior but, me and his mom threw the Michael in there. My husband’s name is Michael Thomas, so, either way you put it, he was a junior in a round about sorta way. JT was also named after his great grandfather whose name was Johnathan Thomas. I had placenta previa complete with JT and my placenta abrupted and I started bleeding uncontrollably, So, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks it was emergency c-section time.  
I remember the first time I seen him. All I seen was a little knee lifted up in the incubator and I totally fell in love with that knee. From that day forward I promised him that I would do everything I could to make sure that he was loved and would one day come home healthy and whole. Well, the Lord had other plans for JT. JT was born with 2 holes in his heart and was on a ventilator for breathing. He was over 3 months early and oh boy did he fight everyday of his life. At 5 days of life he had a failed heart operation to close a pda and at 10 days of life he had an operation for NEC which is Necrotizing Entercolitis. This is basically dead bowel. He came through both surgeries like a champ. He also had several other surgeries, another heart surgery and 3 other bowel surgeries and 2 surgeries on his eyes for Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP). JT needed a small bowel/liver transplant that was never to be because he had not yet gotten his hole in his heart fixed and we learned that it wouldn’t be able to be fixed because if they closed it, he wouldn’t make it through the surgery. On May 17th our precious boy left us. He went home healed and whole. Our prayers were answered but, not the way that we wished them to be. Through out his short life, we were blessed beyond measure. A little preemie that wasn’t supposed to last the first 24 hours of his life, we were blessed with 8 1/2 wonderful months. God was there for us and with us and holding us up through out this time. He sent many angels into our lives to help us also, whether it was prayer, financial, friends we had never had before, support and love. And with out any of the them, I am sure the orchestra that was JT’s life wouldn’t have been so rich with the blessing we received.

I miss my Bubba’s everyday with everything I have.  My heart broke into a million pieces that day.  God answered my last prayer and that was when it was time for him to go that he not be alone and not alone he was.  He was surrounded by so many  family and friends that there wasn’t much room in that room we were in.  I thank God everyday for that.  For giving me the opportunity to be a mother to him for the last time and supporting him in passing away from this world to the next.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/501.html

Andrea
First Angel lost in March 2009 at 8 weeks
Second Angel lost July 30th, 2009 at 12 weeks
Fraser, Michigan
My name is Andrea and I’m the loving mom to my daughter Lauren ( Dec 07 ). my son Max ( Jul 10 ) and 2 Angel Babies that have left before we got the chance to meet them.

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/500.html

Ashley
Mom to Andrew Monroe
November 4th, 2007 – November 30th, 2007
State Road, North Carolina
My husband, Skip, and I met 7 years ago, and finally married March, 2, 2007. We were so happy to actually be married, and were excited to start a family. We found out that we were expecting at the end of June 07. We were so elated to be bringing our first little one into the world. The expected due date was 2-21-08, which fell in between the rest of the family’s birthdays. Mine is 2-14, and my husbands is 2-20, not to mention the rest of the family with Feb. birthdays. so the two of us argued about who’s birthday our li’l one’s would end up falling on. The 21st would have been solely his though.

I went to all of my doctors appointments, and I had the most amazing doctor ever, and the pregnancy was going along smoothly, and everything was perfect. All of the tests came back negative.. and all the ultrasounds showed our li’l peanut to be growing just as he was supposed to. All of his organs were forming and working just as they should while still inside mommy.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/499.html

Mary Beth
Mom to Two Angel Babies
Lost February 3rd, 2010 at 4 weeks 4 days
and April 9th, 2010 at 8 weeks 3 days
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
My husband and I got married in April of 2009 and because we were both over 35, we decided to start trying to have a baby right away.  I went off birth control in May and we started trying in July of 09.  I really didn’t think I would have any trouble conceiving, as I have a daughter from a previous relationship, although she was 18 years old at the time and I realized that my age might bring more complications.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/498.html

Julie
Mom to Baby November, Miscarried November 24th, 2007
and Baby August, Miscarried August 25th, 2010
Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
I personally have lost 2 angels to miscarriage. My first was November 24, 2007 at 4 weeks, and the second on August 25, 2010 at 10 weeks 3 days. My first miscarriage was devastating, as my husband and I had been trying for awhile to get pregnant. We had actually been told that we had little chance to conceive. Then finally, 2 little blue lines showed up!! I was overjoyed – I couldn’t wait to be a Mommy :)


[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/497.html


Brittney
Mom to Laura
Born July 8th, 2010, Passed away July 22nd, 2010
Pawtucket, Rhode Island
Around November of 2009, my fiancée and I found out I was a few weeks pregnant. Although we had not planned on having a child just yet, we quickly became more than excited! The first week in January of 2010, we went to our first appointment and found out that the due date would be August 1, 2010 and that we had a nice and healthy little baby growing. We broke the news to our  family and friends who also shared our excitement. My twin sister was especially thrilled because she has a young daughter of her own. 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/496.html

Monthly Writing Challenge

Encourage. Inspire. Connect.

Have a blog? Each month we’ll have a creative topic for you to write about on it. Once you’ve written your post (or found an older post that fits the topic), you’ll be able add your link below and read others who have submitted as well.

October’s topic: As Halloween approaches and you start thinking about costumes, are there (figurative) “masks” you sometimes put on?

Don’t have a blog yet, but want to participate in the challenge? Click here for simple instructions on how to start a blog (it’s really easy!)

To submit your blog post, follow the instructions below.

1.  Scroll down and click on the ‘click here to enter’ link at the bottom of this post.
2.  Please make sure the post is about the topic for this month. It can be a blog post that you wrote a month ago or more recently.
3.  Use YOUR blog post.
4.  When linking up, only link to your October topic blog post, not your main blog URL. (incorrect links may be deleted.)
5.  Visit other participants and leave comments.  This is a great way to meet other babyloss mamas!

This Linky Tool will be kept open until November 20th. So please submit before that date!

Melissa
Mom to Jacob Sean Toole
March 30th, 2010
St. John, New Brunswick, Canada

It was the best day of my life, After I took 4 pregnancy test I new I was pregnant… I started to cry I was excited but nervous at the same time…My Boyfriend and I where so happy that we where going to be a mommy and a daddy….

When I was 12 weeks I was having a lot of pain so I went to the ER… I had an ultrasound to see what was going on.. The doctor said everything looks good and then told me that I was having twins.. That was the Best news ever, I always wanted to have twins but didn’t think it would have happen to me… I said to my self that life can’t get any better then this, I have the love of my life and two Beautiful babies on the way…

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/494.html

 

Karen
Mom to Angel Baby, October 5th, 2008 at 5 weeks 1 day
and Morgan, August 3rd, 2010 at 10 weeks 3 days
and Angel Baby, May 16, 2011
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

We got married in June 2008 and started ttc right away… We learned on Sept 26th, 2008 that I was pregnant. Dan is a soldier and was away with work in Comox, BC when I found out and I called him to tell him the news. We were both super excited and couldn’t wait to tell our families but decided to wait until Dan came back home so we could tell them together. Nobody even knew we were trying – we still had this grand plan of surprising everyone. The night I found out I actually went for dinner with Dan’s mom, grandmother and my parents then went to Dan’s Aunt and Uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary and it was SO hard not to tell them.

I called my doctor to go in to see them on the monday but couldn’t get an appointment until Friday. All that week I spent a fortune on HPTs… they weren’t getting as dark as I thought they should be but I was new to all this so what did I know… On the Friday (Oct 3rd) I went to the doctor and it was there I found out that I was losing our baby. I tried to call Dan but they were in the field in Wainwright Alberta by this point and couldn’t get in contact with him… it wasn’t until a few hours later that he got the message and was able to call back so I could share the bad news. Just two days later on October 5th (5 weeks 1 day) I woke up at 6 in the morning to terrible cramps – I was losing the baby. I called Dan, forgetting that if it’s 6 am in Ottawa… it was 4 am in Wainwright… the poor guy was woken up in the middle of the night to a phone call from a very upset wife…

We hadn’t told anyone we were pregnant… so we didn’t tell that we’d lost the baby… we still held out hope we’d soon be able to experience giving our families that surprise good news.

Dan was to be deployed the following September so we knew we had a time deadline and I asked my doctor to refer me to a specialist. During the testing I found out I had a uterine septum. I had surgeries in Oct 2009 and March 2010 to remove it. Dan came home from deployment May 2010 May and we were busy running around to see everyone before our impending transfer to Edmonton, house hunting trip and getting everything ready for the move. On my Mom’s birthday (June 17th), just a week before leaving for Edmonton we got some fantastic news – I was pregnant! We were so thankful that we got to tell people in person before leaving. Everything in the apartment got packed up off in the moving van, we packed up the car and left Ottawa on June 23rd.


We took possession of the house on June 30th and the moving van arrived with all our stuff on Canada Day. With all the boxes in the house we decided to hook up the TV and watch a movie to relax in our new home. This is when our world was shaken – I’d gone to the bathroom and discovered I was bleeding. Living in our home for only a few hours and Dan bundled me into the car and we headed to the hospital. They did some blood work (which turned out fine) and told me to come back the next morning for an ultrasound. The ultrasound (5 weeks 6 days) showed a gestational sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole. They told me to go for an other ultrasound in a week… so wait a week and an other ultrasound… 6 weeks 6 days and still no fetal pole. I went to a walk in clinic (since I still had no dr) and they did some blood work which showed that my hcg levels were still increasing… time to wait some more. I finally got an OB and she set me up with an other ultrasound at 9 weeks 3 days… more waiting… the spotting has stopped and nausea increased which made us hopeful. The 9w3d ultrasound they finally found the fetal pole but it was only measuring just over 6 weeks and no heart beat. We decided the baby needed a name and we chose Morgan which would fit for a boy or a girl.
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/493.html

Lauren
Mom to Ella Marie
Born Still on September 3rd, 2010 at 39 weeks
Connecticut
have always wanted to be a mommy. My husband and I decided that once I was done with nursing school we would start trying. We were thrilled to find out that we were expecting on 12/31/09, just two weeks after finishing nursing school, our first month trying.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/492.html

Syawn
Mom to Leilah
Stillborn September 8th, 2010
Kokomo, Indiana

My husband Jared and I were so excited when we found out we were expecting our 4th child.  Our due date was November 15, 2010.  I was nervous because I had suffered a miscarriage in 2006 and in 2008, both at 7 weeks.  We found out that these were due to low hormone levels so I was taking some hormones and we were hopeful.  We have 2 boys and 1 girl and were hoping to have another girl.  All of my pregnancies with the first 3 went fine.  No problems except at delivery I wouldn’t dialate past 2 so I had to have c-sections.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/491.html

Andrea
Mom to 
Ayanna Sarai, Lost to Ectopic Pregnancy, January 2003
Tatiana Alexis, December 28th, 2005
Cameron Alexander, July 6th, 2006
Maia Elise, Lost to Chemical Pregnancy, 2008
Gavin Michael, July 23rd, 2010
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/490.html

Lisa
Three Miscarriages
One Molar Pregnancy
In October of 2002 I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child. It was an unplanned pregnancy and completely caught me off guard. But as I had with my older 3 children, I was willing to welcome this baby to our family. 
 
A month later, I started having some mild bleeding. I went to the ER and they gave me an ultrasound. The doctors said it was still early but they could see a fetal pole and everything matched up date wise. I was sent home to relax. Over the next few weeks I would spot some days and have no bleeding other days. I knew something was wrong. I finally went to my regular OB/GYN. He did another ultrasound. The baby had not developed any since the ultrasound at the ER. I was taken to a back room to receive the news. I knew as soon as the tech started leading to the back of the building I was not going to hear good news. They handed me a phone and I heard the familiar voice of my OB. He told me the baby had stopped growing. He told me to go home and the baby would pass in  a few days. I waited for another week and nothing happened. So I had to have a D & C. I was heart broken. The operation was fast a pretty much painless. I was an emotional wreck for a few more days.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/489.html

Jennifer
Mom to Ellen
Miscarried November 11th, 2009
Lancaster, Pennsylvania

My name is Jennifer and we lost our first baby, Ellen, at 9 weeks gestation on November 11, 2009. My husband Jason and I live in Lancaster, PA and I have been married for four years. For a long time we were not sure we would have any children. I suffer from major depression and really didn’t want to mess around with my hormones. He’s very career driven and didn’t feel he had time for family. We were happy as is. We travel a lot, eat out a lot, drink and critique fine wine and were just enjoying life.

 Then we started talking about children. He and I were both still worried about my mental health. I’d been feeling really great for three years and didn’t want to upset that balance. He also started traveling away from home more than ever. So, we settled on the idea of becoming foster/adopt parents with the intention of adopting an older child. We started the process in November of 2008 and were approved as foster/adopt parents in July of 2009. Amazingly enough despite the huge number of waiting children you hear about, we were told the process would take 1 to 24 months. We have had a few nibbles and one serious potential placement, but everything has ultimately fallen through.

One day Jason and I were talking and I asked him if he was still on board with the adoption plan and he said he was. I asked if he felt that he was missing out on anything by not having biological children and he said that he did feel like he was missing out. He wanted to see what our child would look like. He wanted to create a life with me. I think I fell in love with him all over again when he said that…and we started trying that night. Two weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test!

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/488.html

Natalie
Mom to Baby P
August, 27th, 2010
Washington Township, Michigan
I found out we were pregnant three weeks before my husband and I were to be married.  It was such an exciting time – the start our lives together as husband and wife as well as mom and dad.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/487.html

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