Jenny
Mom to Megan September 2nd, 2008 – March 10th, 2010
and Rainbow Baby, Miscarried September 14th, 2010 at 11 weeks
Washington
March 10, 2010 will be a day forever burned into my memory.  It was a day I said good bye to my sweet little girl.  I just didn’t know I would be saying goodbye.  I didn’t know that it was a day I should hold her for her last nap, I didn’t know that my world would come crashing down in a matter of seconds.  This is my story. There are enough bad things in this world, that a nap shouldn’t be one of them.
 

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/411.html

Erika
Mom to
Emma Jade, EDD February 2nd, 2006, grew wings on August 11th, 2005
Bailey Jameson, EDD October 14th, 2007, grew wings on April 1st, 2007
Audrey Kate, EDD January 18th, 2010, grew wings on May 25th, 2009
Chemical Pregnancy – July 14th, 2009
Jonesboro, Arkansas

My first pregnancy was conceived with a boyfriend right after I graduated high school, I was planning on going to college and was so afraid because this wasn’t planned at all and the father did not want the “shame” of having a baby out of wedlock so he insisted we get married.  I told him no way. I couldn’t marry someone like him, I should have left him long before this.  When I told him no, I was pushed out of his truck and ended up losing the baby the next day.  I felt so horrible because at first I didn’t want to have a baby, I would never have an abortion and I believe everything happens for a reason, but at the time I thought it happened because at first the pregnancy was unwanted.  I felt so much guilt.  I left him and have not talked to him in years.

In December 2006, I married my husband, the love of my life.  We were on the birth control pill and had a pregnancy scare around the end of January.  I had been sick with the flu for weeks and ended up taking a negative pregnancy test, so we figured the flu had postponed my period.  I started taking antibiotics soon after for an ear infection, not realizing that would mess up the birth control.  We were moving out of state and my aunt and uncle threw us a going away party where we drank and had a good time.  I had no idea that I was pregnant at the time.  About a month later, my period had not showed up.  I didn’t worry much because this had just happened.  Maybe the move had put stress on my body.  I took a test, expecting a BFN and to my surprise it read “Pregnant”  I was so excited and so scared all at the same time.  We told all our family immediately.  We went in for an ultrasound at a clinic where ultrasound techs were being trained and we saw the beautiful little beating heart of our baby.  He (we never knew sex, we just had a feeling it was a boy) was measuring about 3 weeks behind what he should have been, but we were told that my dates could just be off since my cycle was messed up anyway.  On March 31, 2007, I woke up bleeding.  I panicked.  We went to the emergency room where the doctor on call told me he was 99% sure we were having a miscarriage.  I held onto that 1%, thinking that if I loved my baby enough, my love could save him.  Of course they did an ultrasound and the doctor told me that “there was never even a baby”  It was a blighted ovum, an empty sac.  No.  That couldn’t be.  We just saw the baby a few weeks earlier and even saw the beating heart.  He was wrong.  I had a picture at home of our child, not an empty sac.  We went home to my grandma’s and my cousin and his wife were living there too, she was a saint.  She had gone through this as well and was amazing support.  I was so scared.  I couldn’t do this again.  No way.  I fell asleep that night and then woke up about an hour later with a small cramp.  Every hour on the hour, I would wake up and the cramps were even stronger. I started bleeding heavier and passed my first clot about midnight.  I ended up waking everyone in the house because of my crying, thinking i had passed my baby.  My cousin’s wife assured me that it was just a clot and I would know for sure when the baby was passed.  Every hour I woke up with these horrid cramps, wondering why God would give me physical pain as well as the emotional pain of losing a baby?  It wasn’t fair.  With the first one, I was on pain medication so I didn’t feel anything at all.  This was new to me.  Why did it have to hurt like that?  Was I not going through enough emotionally?  We went back to the doctor the next morning, it was a Sunday and the doctor on call showed up in his Sunday church suit.  I felt bad for pulling him out of church.  Well, they did an exam and my body had cleared out almost everything.  There was still some tissue stuck in my cervix so they pulled out the rest of it and the nurse made sure I didn’t see it and wrapped it up in a towel and set it on the table.  When they left the room, I looked.  My baby was so tiny.  No bigger than my thumb.  I will never get that picture out of my mind.  We named him Bailey Jameson.  We decided we wanted to try for a baby, so the doctor said 3 months.  Exactly 3 months later, our daughter was conceived. She was born March 11, 2008 after being diagnosed with preeclampsia and being induced at 38 weeks, ended up with a csection because my blood pressure was so high, they thought I might have a stroke.

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/410.html

Jessica
First Miscarriage, January 29th, 2009
Second Miscarriage, September 17th, 2009
Yakima, Washington
Me and my husband always wanted to start a family right away, I got off birth control in the summer of 2008 and we were beyond thrilled to find out we were pregnant in December of 2008 we instantly told EVERYONE! We were so excited and so were all of our family and friends. 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/409.html

Catherine
Mom to August John
Died Just Before Birth on January 12th, 2010
Austin, Texas
I was 41 weeks and three days pregnant with my first child when I finally went into labor on Monday, January 11, 2010. I was so excited. My pregnancy had been perfect, and ever since the 40-week mark, my husband and I had been hoping and waiting (and kind of going crazy), just wishing for our baby to be born so we could begin the much-anticipated next part of our lives: raising our kid. (We had decided not to find out the baby’s sex; we wanted to be surprised.) 


[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/408.html

Christy
Mom to Twin Angels, Brayden & Alyssa
November 20th, 2009
Boxford, Massachusetts

August 2009 was such a happy time for us, After 3 yrs of trying to get pregnant we finally got pregnant, with Twins! My son who was 4 at the time was so happy to be a “big brother”.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/406.html

Story of HOPE

Amy and Mike Laird
Angel baby miscarried 04/15/02

My angel baby was miscarried between 6-7 weeks on April 15, 2002, for reasons unknown.  I am currently diagnosed with infertility. 

After holding my feelings in for so long, I’ve recently discovered an organization called Angels of Hope .  Angels of Hope is a organization that gifts grants to help pay for funeral/burial costs and also to help infertile couples pay for fertility treatments.  They also just had a fundraising 5K walk/run.


I have chosen to work and serve with Angels of Hope in order to channel my energy and help my grief process.  It helps me to be involved.   I have been sitting on my emotions for a very long time and it’s time that I work my grief out.  I’ve been suffering with anxiety/depression long enough and now I need to channel that grief into something worthwhile!   The guilt I have of not being able to give my husband a child disturbs me everyday.  I do not know how to rid myself of this guilt.  The thought of not having a family ~ my dream since I was a little girl is devastating!  However, I have to find a way to deal this.  


There are only about 100 or so Angels of Hope throughout the US.  We have an Angel of Hope in a nearby community that has bricks engraved with with angel names as a memorial.  My husband and I purchased a brick with our ‘Angel Baby’s’ name on it as a way to honor and show support for this organization.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/405.html

Story of HOPE
(Magdalena’s Feet ~ March of Dimes Walk)
Julie ~ Magdalena’s Birthday Balloons
& March of Dimes
Magdalena Grace 08/06/08 – 01/13/09
Magdalena was born with Trisomy 18 and lived 167 amazing days.  The things that come naturally to babies (like eating and breathing) didn’t for Magdalena due to her condition.  Despite the doctor’s diagnosis of ‘incompatible with life’…she had an amazing life with help from research done through March of Dimes. 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/404.html

Story of HOPE
Mary ~ Micah’s Gift
Mommy to Micah Quinn 8/18/10

Micah Quinn was due on April 7, 2011.  We found out that our baby had died on August 18, 2010.   Micah Quinn was lost to an early miscarriage on August 18th, 2010 at only seven weeks gestation.  I have started a blog in Micah’s honor where I take pictures of angels’ names on blades of grass for their families.   I have named this project ‘Micah’s Gift.’

The inspiration for Micah’s Gift was like thunder ~ loud and clear.  I knew exactly what I wanted to do after I took the first picture of Micah’s name on a blade of wild grass.  After I lost Micah, I had a need to find some special way to remember my baby.  Since I lost my baby early, I felt like I had nothing.  I saw that other angel mommies had name galleries for their children and thought that was such a special way to remember their angels.  I wanted to add to their galleries for their angels and start one for my angel too.  

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/403.html

Story of HOPE
Kristin ~ Hailey’s Hope & Project Sweet Pea
Mother to Hailey Marie
December 1, 2009 to January 6, 2010

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/402.html

Story of HOPE
Taryn ~ Ella’s Halo
Mother of Ella Jo
March 25, 2009 to June 16, 2009
 
Our daughter Ella was born at 24 weeks and died 83 days later.  As a result of our experiences with Ella in the NICU, my husband and I started a nonprofit called ‘Ella’s Halo.’   Our purpose is to help families who have to stay an extended time in the hospital with their premature or sick baby.  We try to bring a little bit of home to the hospital by donating blankets and care packages to these families.  We feel that helping other babies who are like our daughter is doing what Ella would have wanted us to do.  Starting Ella’s Halo and helping other families has brought us hope and healing.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/401.html

Story of HOPE

Amanda ~ mother to Angel

who was stillborn on 05/18/2009
My daughter Angel was stillborn on May 18, 2009, at 19 weeks 5 days, as a result of a placental abruption with uterine infection.  What has helped me to heal is sharing my loss through public speaking.  It has helped significantly. Without being able to speak out about my daughter, I don’t think I would be as far in my healing as I am.

My inspiration started with a fundraiser for the March of Dimes that I did this year in memory of my daughter. I was in contact with a couple of ladies at the March of Dimes.   I kept telling them “I feel like I want to do something more.”  They put me in contact with a wonderful lady at UNC Hospital ( University of North Carolina) who organizes different hospital events.  She was actually organizing an event called Perinatal Quality Care Collaborative of North Carolina (PQCNC). It is a conference that focuses on improving the quality of care of patients.  All disciplines attend, including doctors, nurses, and other staff. 

I was asked to speak about my personal experiences as a stillbirth parent.   The PQCNC was scheduled for May 18, 2009 ~ my daughter’s 1st birthday!!!  I was so excited and nervous (I think that it was Angel’s way of reassuring me that it was the right thing to do).  This was the 3rd or 4th year for this event, yet I was the first Stillbirth parent they ever had speak.  

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/400.html

Jodie
Mom to Jasper
Stillborn September 2nd, 2009 at 20 weeks
My name is Jodie and last September 2nd 2009, i had my beautiful baby son Jasper at 20 weeks, he was stillborn. It has been just over a year and i still cry for him , i still long for him and i still feel empty without him.

 

 I am an insulin diabetic so i have always known that i would most likely never have children , or if i did there could be major complications, but it was a risk i was willing to take. Before my first son Jakson was born in 2004, i felt very blessed to have a very healthy child in my arms. He was a dream come true as before he was born i had suffered up to 5 miscarriages. Even though he came a month early , he was still completely healthy.
 

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/399.html

Kristen
Mom to Angel Baby
Miscarried September 13th, 2010 at 13 weeks
Rochester, NY
We lost our precious baby on September 13, 2010. I was exactly 13 weeks pregnant. It was a Monday. It was 2pm. There was no heartbeat.  Life will never be the same. I haven’t yet been able to go more than an hour without crying, regardless of where I am; home, restaurant, church, doesn’t matter. There’s never a shortage of tears. There’s never a shortage of sadness. I loved that baby, I love that baby. I would have easily and without question given my life so that my baby could live. If only I’d had the option.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/398.html

Trish
Mom to Michael
Born and died December 22nd,2007
Canada
It was Dec 22nd 2007, we were 24 weeks pregnant… and I’d been having some spotting off and on thru out the pregnancy… We have an older son, who was the dream pregnancy… I mean, so dreamy in fact that I didn’t even know I was pregnant for the first 4 months of it! Scary I know, but I’ve always been a little off when it came to the whole regular period deal… and low and behold, came to find out we were preggers!! (A side bar note… we didn’t really think we could have kids! My hubby had childhood leukemia) 

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/397.html

Caroline
Mom to Cale Harrison
June 28th, 2010

Columbus, GA

It’s hard to write this story. All the entries on this site are sad, but it’s important for others to know they are not alone. And while Cale’s story is a story of loss, it’s also a story of love. While the ending is tragic I want people to know Cale’s story and know him as best they can. He was and always will be our first born son. His life, as short as it was, deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/396.html

Kassandra
Mom to Zaynah Nevaeh
Miscarried August 2009
San Antonio, Texas
My angel was a very welcome surprise.  I remember the day that I took the first pregnancy test, and the second and the third.  I can still remember the first time I heard her heartbeat and saw her on the ultrasound screen.  I remember the horrible morning sickness and aching breasts.  At 6 weeks my doctor told me that the baby was doing great and had a strong heartbeat.  My boyfriend Johnny and I cried and wished for a little girl.  I was so excited for my next appointment. 
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/395.html

Marybeth
Mom to Joshua Dylan
February 23rd, 2007
Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania
I had a perfect pregnancy. My ob called it a textbook pregnancy. No problems what so ever. I had decided to have a planned c-section which was to take place @ 39 weeks 4 days. I had an appointment for my pre-admission testing @ exactly 39 weeks and then I was to see my ob immediately after. 
 

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/394.html

Angela
Mom to Baby August, Lost December 22nd, 2009 at 8 weeks
and Baby February, Lost July 22nd, 2010 at 11 weeks
Louisville, Kentucky
I can’t say I am one of those women who have always wanted to be a mom. In fact, before my husband and I got married, we often envisioned our lives together as free and roaming the world. That all changed on Christmas Eve of 2008 as I held my cousin’s newborn baby in my arms. Somehow this tiny little girl reached deep into my heart and pulled a string that I didn’t even know existed. I wanted it and I wanted it bad. At first I tried to ignore it. After all, I had put a lot if effort into dreaming up a life without children. But babies seemed to be following me everywhere. Babies on Fischer-Price commercials. Pregnant women pushing their bright red shopping carts in Target. Babies cooing in radio ads for the local hospital. Even women clamoring to be the next to hold the baby during a wake. Yes, I had Baby Fever.  

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http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/393.html


Sara
Mom to John Dillan, Miscarried at 14 weeks on July 7th, 2009 
Fish, Miscarried at 10 weeks on March 1st, 2010
Baby #5, Miscarried in May 2010
and Hope, Miscarried on August 24th, 2010
Brown Mills, New Jersey

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/392.html

Alecia
Mom to Kason Michael, Stillborn October 7th, 2009
and Kai Xavier, Stillborn June 18th, 2010
Overland Park, Kansas
In April of 2009, my husband and I were elated to find out we were expecting our first baby.  My pregnancy was very easy, hardly any pregnancy symptoms at all.  As my pregnancy progressed and I started feeling our baby boy move, I couldn’t be more excited until one day in October, when I thought to myself, “I haven’t felt this baby move lately.  I called my doctor’s nurse and she said not to worry but maybe come in and they would check everything out.  She said he probably is turned and that is why I am not feeling him move.  

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/391.html

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