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Mom to Two Babies

March 9, 2009 and September 4, 2015

Richmond, Virginia

It’s hard enough when you are terrified from the moment you find out you’re pregnant. Having multiple miscarriages makes it even harder. When you’ve tried for over 5 years to get pregnant after the first miscarriage, I think fear doesn’t even begin to explain the feelings you have during that time.

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Mom to Baby Gunn

May 11, 2015

Overland Park, Kansas

Why did this happen to us? After months of trying to convince my husband to have another child, we finally began trying. We became pregnant and then 12 weeks later we lost our baby on the bathroom floor.

I just don’t understand it and I’m not sure I ever will. I knew from our very first ultrasound at 5 weeks in the emergency room for cramping that something wasn’t right. The doctor came in and said “we see a gestational sac but there is no baby in it at this time”, my heart sunk and I became speechless. [Read more…]


Mom to Estelle

June 23, 2015

San Antonio, Texas

Eighteen and preparing to leave for college, I found out I was pregnant on June 20th of this year. To say the least, I freaked out. My boyfriend was with me when I found out, and immediately after I told my parents the news. There was much talk of abortion among some of my family, and adoption, but keeping the baby and not attending school was everyone’s worst nightmare for me. I think I knew right away I wanted to keep it.
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Mommy to Messiah
Buffalo, NY

About four and a half months ago [at time of writing] at 18 weeks I lost my son due to an infection called chorioamnionitis. I was told at one of my pre natal appointments I had the group b strep bacteria in my vagina, but they could not give me anything until I was in labor. About a month after I had my miscarriage, the doctor told me the infection is what caused my water to break early. The group b strep is what caused the chorioamnionitis. Finding out the physical cause of why I lost my son helped a little. The doctor described the probability of the infection as ‘bad luck’ and ‘ rare’. [Read more…]



Mom to Zia

July 16, 2013

On 19 August, my daughter would have been two years old, but instead of planning a princess themed party and getting frustrated over the terrible two’s, I sit here writing about a baby who now lives only in my heart. Her name is Zia, she is our second child and only daughter. She was stillborn about 4 weeks before her due date making July 16, 2013, her still birthday. She lived for eight months within me; I carried her with immense pride and will always love her dearly.

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Mom to Benjamin Ray

May 1, 2013

Sterling Heights, Michigan

We lost our son, Benjamin Ray, on May 1st. I was one day shy of being 31 weeks.

Around 28 weeks, I began to notice my son’s change in movement. He had been a very busy baby but then suddenly just wasn’t. I kept trying to tell the doctor, but she told me I was just being a first time mom and overreacting. I called the hospital and they kept telling me it was normal for him to not really move around 29-30 weeks.

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Mom to Nathaniel Edward

May 10, 2015

Brooklyn, New York


May 9th was the worst day of my life. I go over that day, the ones that precede it and the ones to follow in my head again and again. Even six weeks after, there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about those days. Each time, I go through trying to save my son over and over, only to realize that I can’t and he isn’t coming back to me. [Read more…]



Mom to Hitomi Keimiko

3/26/15 – 6/14/15

Daytona Beach, Florida

My daughter Hitomi was born on 26 March 2015 and she had encephalocele with microcephaly. It’s a very rare birth defect. Basically, before I even knew I was pregnant, when her body was forming, her skull bones didn’t close properly in the back of her head, leaving a small hole. It was covered by skin, so we were lucky there, but her brain cells leaked out of the hole and into the skin and started to overproduce cerebral spinal fluid which stretched the skin to form a large sac behind her head. As she grew, her head growth and brain growth started to fall behind and there were signs of abnormal brain tissue outside the skull, but it looked like all the functioning tissue was sitting inside the skull but just smaller. [Read more…]



Mom to Mercy

Phoenix, AZ

October 22, 2014- April 19, 2015

I was in my 29th week of pregnancy when I found out that Mercy had a hole in her heart.

At first, I was told that it was just a small hole that the hole will close up before she was born. I was sent to a specialist who performed an ultrasound. I will never forget his words as he said, “I have some bad news for you, while it is true that your baby has a hole in her heart, unfortunately this is the kind that doesn’t close up on its own.” I could not stop crying after receiving this news. As the doctor tried to calm me down, he explained to me further that “we see two holes in Mercy’s heart and she is measuring a size smaller than what she should be.” He continued to explain to me “I believe that Mercy may have Down syndrome.” I asked him “what do you mean by, may have Down syndrome? What is Down syndrome? How can we find out for sure?”. He continued on to explain that there was no sure way of knowing for certain if she really has Down syndrome but they can draw my blood and that would tell us if she carries an extra copy of chromosome which is also called Trisomy 21.

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Mom to triplets Jax, Stella and Beck

Dallas, Texas

May 2, 2015

When we found out we were having multiples, we were immediately placed at high risk. We picked an MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) Doctor and hoped and prayed we would make it to full term with healthy babies. The statistics we against us. They weren’t pretty to look at, so I chose to ignore them.

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Mom to Brooke Isabelle 

May 23, 2015

 Isanti, Minnesota

I worked with kids my whole life and I couldn’t wait till the day I could have my own. I got pregnant a little less than a year after my husband and I got married and we were both ecstatic! My lifelong dream was coming true. Right away I started planning and getting so excited for our little one’s arrival. My first ultrasound was at 6 weeks and it was such a crazy and surreal thing to see my little baby’s heartbeat fluttering in the screen. I had some morning sickness but otherwise I was feeling great! Each appointment my doctor always said “things look great see you next time!” I let out a big sigh of relief as I passed first trimester as I knew the chance of miscarriage was less likely to happen.

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Mom to Elena and Baby

March 19, 2015 and July 8, 2015

Lake Grove, New York

After just about 6 months of fertility treatments, I was fortunate enough to get pregnant with my daughter with my first IVF cycle in 2011. After threatened miscarriage and third trimester high blood pressure, my beautiful girl was born perfect in July 2012.

We had one snow baby left from that cycle, so I waited until our daughter turned two to start trying again.  This time, getting pregnant became even more difficult.  After the first two FET cycles were cancelled due to poor lining and polyps, I had a D&C and gave myself the holidays off to recover.  In January 2015, I had a successful transfer and got my positive pregnancy test in February 2015.  The numbers were low to start (HCG was 30), but they rose at a steady rate and from the time I saw the first heartbeat, I was in love.  I slowly began to believe I was lucky enough to get pregnant 2x in a row via IVF with no further complications.  My husband and I told all of our close family and friends and by week 8, we began to tell our jobs.  I have the apps in my phone to follow the development of the pregnancy and spent my nights before bed dreaming that my family would soon be complete.  I couldn’t wait for October 24, 2015.

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Mom to Angel Baby Allen

May 2015

St. Louis, Missouri

May 8th started out as any other day. I stayed in all day. Evening came and I had this painful feeling inside me. I went to the bathroom, and realized I was spotting. I asked myself how could this be, when I had just had a period less than a week ago. I decided, something is not right. So, I took a pregnancy test. Two dark lines. I showed my family the first pregnancy test. My husband and I were shocked. This was exactly what we wanted. I still couldn’t believe this was really happening for us, so I took another pregnancy test. Still, two dark lines. But, I was spotting.  [Read more…]



Mom to Madelyn Rose

July 21, 2014

Baytown, Texas

When the ultrasound tech told us we were having a girl, my jaw dropped. My automatic thought was, “I am not very girly. I can’t even dress myself, much less dress a girl. I hate bows. How am I going to do this?” Joel put me at ease with a trip to Old Navy after our ultrasound. He was ready to shop for his baby girl. Once I saw all the cute dresses and outfits, I thought, “I can do this. She will always look cuter than I will. But I can do this.”

I loved being pregnant. My favorite memory was lying on the couch with Joel. As usual, he was talking and rubbing my belly. He leaned in to tell her a secret and BOOM! Baby girl hit him in the face. I’m not sure if it was a punch, kick, elbow or booty bump, but it was the funniest thing. Besides the constant morning sickness, that lasted my whole pregnancy; everything was great.

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Mom to Paisley Lynn

May 23, 2015

Columbus, Ohio

Since day one everyone has told me it would help to talk to someone who has been through what I’ve been through. It will help you to heal and cope, it will give you hope to hear about success after loss. All of that sounds great, but it is easier said than done. It isn’t like people walk around carrying a sign saying I lost my daughter/son. I can’t go to the group meetings suggested by the hospital because I don’t do well in a social setting. I am a very shy and private person. I always have been and most likely always will be. [Read more…]


Mom to Andi Michelle

June 18- September 7, 2014

Winder, GA

Andi was my second pregnancy and different from my first one, I knew I was pregnant the day I missed my period even if multiple test told me different. Until I had one test that showed a very faint two pink lines, I went to the doctor that day and they confirmed what I had already known.

I was so sick for 13 weeks, things grossed me out completely and while having a one year old at home, I was EXHAUSTED! Since the pregnancies were both so different I swore this time we would be having a boy, but that was wrong when two nurses told us “It’s a girl”. Andi was born at 39 weeks via c section (my choice), she was 8.4lbs and 21 inches long, completely different from Emma (her sister). Andi was 2 ounces bigger but so very petite, she was like a little doll.

July 24th, 2014 is a date I will never forget- it’s the day our lives changed. Andi woke up that morning and was “twitching” and her eyes would flicker, which lasted a few minutes. I knew something wasn’t right.  I had literally just started the job of my dreams; my aunt took Andi to the pediatrician to see what they thought it was. Her pediatrician said it looked like a seizure but it was hard to tell, we weren’t able to get an appointment with a neurologist for A MONTH! Talk about crazy stupid.

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Mom to Emma Rose

January 9, 2015 – April 23, 2015

Salem, Virginia

My daughter Emma Rose Kelly was born January 9, 2015 and passed away April 23rd. I laid her in her playpen that morning and checked on her at around 10:15, she was fine. I checked on her again at 10:30 and I found her unresponsive. Between the paramedics and myself we performed CPR for an hour before they declared her time.

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Mom to Tyler Hayes

August 31, 2011 (43 minutes of life)

Pensacola, Florida

(I’m not sure if this is the type of story that you would want to share, but I thought maybe it might help someone.)
What keeps me awake.

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Mom to Adalynn Grace

November 15, 2013

Princeton, West Virginia

It was November 12, 2013…13 days before my due date. I laid in bed with Matthew watching Adalynn move around in my belly. She liked to kick me as hard as she could whenever I would talk to her, but little did I know, this would be the last time I would feel her move. She wasn’t moving the next morning, though I didn’t worry as this was normal for her, especially since she was getting so cramped in my tummy. So I went about my day, washing her clothes and organizing her things for her arrival. [Read more…]



Mom to Camden

August, 17, 2013 – May 21, 2014

York, Pennsylvania

On August 17, 2013 our baby Camden was born at 37 weeks. He was born via c-section due to being breech the entire pregnancy. He didn’t cry when he was born and had a hard time breathing in his own, so he had to spend the first night in the NICU. The next morning they brought him to our room and my husband and I took turns loving on him and talking about everyone who was going to come see him that morning. I decided to take a shower and my husband spent that time with Camden. After my shower, I picked Camden out of the bassinet and he seemed a little pale to me, so I set him on the bed. I started to undress him to make him a little more uncomfortable, just to make sure he was ok. I got no response from him. I pushed the nurses’ call button and the nurse came in. I asked her if he looked ok to her and she looked at him, picked him up, put him in the bassinet and ran with him out of the room. [Read more…]

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