Mom to Catherine Lynn Kaat, Born and died January 2nd, 2005
Dakota and Adrianne Kaat, June 18th & 20th
Sheboygan, Wisconsin
I found out I was pregnant with Catherine when I was 15, she was my first child. I didn’t find out till I was already 12 weeks pregnant with her, and at first I had planned on giving her up for adoption. When I was 20 weeks pregnant with her, I went into false labor, and she ended up dropping into the birth canal. 
 For the next 7 weeks I was on bed rest. At 2:00 am on Jan 2, I had contractions again. I didn’t know I was having them since I was only 15, my first pregnancy, and it felt like I had gas, or like I was constipated. My mom called the hospital and they said if I wasn’t bleeding not to come in. While my mom was on the phone, I ended up delivering her in our bathroom. Only two pushes and she were out. My water never broke, so she drowned. I got to the hospital and the doctors straight out said there was nothing they could do. They didn’t even try.  It’s been 5 and a half years since I said good-bye, and there isn’t a day I don’t think of her, and wonder what life would have been like if she would have made it.

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Kelly Doris
Mother to Baby due August 18th, 2010, Miscarried December 22nd, 2009
and Baby due December 3rd, 2010, Miscarried April 6th, 2010
Sparta, WI

After several months of fertility treatments I found out I was pregnant in early December 2009. I was excited. Blood tests confirmed also I was pregnant. Several days after the blood work all the pregnancy symptoms I had disappeared. I took an at home pregnancy test, and it was negative. The next day I had another blood test, and it was confirmed that I would miscarry. I miscarried at home the following day.

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Mom to Baby Autumn and Baby Spring

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Mom to River Daniel April 30, 2009-May 6, 2009
Milltown, Wisconsin 

Our first born son, River was born April 30, 2009 and passed away May 6, 2009.

The pregnancy was completely normal, despite the fact that I fractured a bone in my foot and was on ordered bed rest for 3 months so it could heal. This was to avoid surgery during pregnancy or after he was born. 

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Mom to fraternal twins Aiden (4/13/09-4/14/09) 
and Sophie (born and died 4/13/09)
Lacrosse, WI
I married my husband in August of 2006.  We wanted to start trying for a family right away, so I immediately stopped taking my oral contraceptives.  I had a suspicion I might have a little trouble in the baby-making area because my periods had always been irregular.  So we just decided we wouldn’t really “try,” we’d just not use protection and see what happens.  Well, because my periods were so irregular, I kept thinking I was pregnant.  I must have taken 35 pregnancy tests in the next year-each one of them saying “Not pregnant.”  So by the next fall, I was ready to actually start trying.  I started to chart my temps and use Ovulation tests, reading forums online and talking to friends that had fertility issues.

A year later, we still weren’t pregnant, so my doctor sent me to someone in the women’s center of my hospital.  She immediately diagnosed me with PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) after looking at me and listening to my symptoms.  She gave me one month’s worth of the lowest dose of clomid and said we’d go from there.

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Mom to Mikayla Grace 
Madison, Wisconsin
We found out we were pregnant with our second child in early January and were overjoyed! The same day I took my positive test, I had a little pink spotting and my heart just dropped…maybe I was having my period after all. I did several more tests, which were all positive, so I thought it was nothing. We started telling our family right away, but then at 6 weeks I started having some faint bleeding on Friday morning. Over the weekend the bleeding continued and it was at this point where I actually admitted that I was probably having a miscarriage. It was so painful and we said a lot of prayers to ask God for strength to help us through it. My husband bought a candle to remember our baby as we hoped this angel was in heaven. Even though I had only had this baby with me for a mere 3 weeks at this point, we had already begun to make room in our lives for this baby and it was truly devastating. On Monday, we went to see the doctor, and the exam didn’t tell her much besides that my cervix wasn’t open and there wasn’t any tissue visible. They did an HcG blood test which she explained would likely not tell us much until we do a second one. I felt in my heart I had lost my baby, but for some reason felt that I needed this information too. I continued to have more blood and my cramping picked up as well. Any bit of hope I had that this may be normal bleeding was gone.

BUT on Wednesday, my doctor called to say that my Beta HcG test on Monday was really reassuring and normal (167,000), so she ordered an ultrasound for Friday. I was in such shock and didn’t really understand how it could be normal with so much bleeding. I was still extremely nauseous and had several big gushes of bright red blood. Going to the ultrasound appointment was not fun at all, but I was really hoping that it would give us some answers. I knew that the tech probably wouldn’t tell us much, but she was taking all these measurements and was totally silent. I figured that her silence meant there was no baby and that I had indeed miscarried, but then suddenly she said “heartbeat is 139.” I will never forget how shocked I was to hear that….there is a baby still alive in there? What a miracle!! I was told that the baby was fine and that I had something called a subchorionic hemorrhage that explained the bleeding. She said that most likely this would resolve over time but that the bleeding may continue. There was nothing to do, but let mother nature take her course and wait. It was hard to know whether to be excited again or scared at this point. I was put on pelvic rest and we did another ultrasound at 9 weeks. We were so relieved that in the first view of Mikayla she was moving. I was still having bleeding though, so I definitely didn’t feel like I was out of the woods yet.

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Mom to Willow Rose
Stillborn at 21 weeks on November 12th, 2009
Milwaukee, WI

I was once a teenage mother. After I married my husband in 2001 I knew I wanted to have another baby, even though my son was almost 10 when I married my husband. Shortly after we were married, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. With little money for fertility treatments, our hope of having another baby dwindled with each passing year. After friends announced pregnancy after pregnancy we began to except that our son would be an only child.

Since I had PCOS, my periods would be MIA for months at a time. One summer afternoon, I began to recognize some familiar symptoms. I had nausea, tender breasts and headaches. Finally I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!

It seems as soon as I gave birth to Olivia, I knew I wanted to get pregnant again. By the time she was born her big brother was 14 years old! This time my hubby and I sought the help of a fertility specialist. Our second round of Clomid we were pregnant again!

From the beginning the pregnancy wasn’t the same. The nausea was much worse and I had migraines daily. At one point during the pregnancy I felt empty, but I couldn’t describe this feeling (nor did I want to admit it) so I never said a word to anyone.

At 17 weeks I had a scheduled Dr.’s appointment. I never even told my husband about the appointment because he was so busy at work. These appointments were pretty routine and uneventful anyway. I pee in a cup, listen to the baby’s heartbeat, etc. This was the first Dr. appointment I’ve ever gone to sans my husband. I regretted that decision as soon as the Dr. couldn’t find the heartbeat. As I sat in the waiting room for the ultrasound tech to become available I text my husband. He called me back and insisted he was on his way. I convinced him not to come. As soon as the image appeared on the screen I saw the baby’s heart beating away. Everything was fine! Once I received the all clear I couldn’t help but ask what the sex was. I called my husband, teary-eyed from relief. “We’re having another girl!”

4 weeks later was the anatomy scan. We were still excited even though we already knew the sex. My husband was supposed to meet me at the Dr.’s office at 2pm, but of course he was late. The tech started the ultrasound without him. She explained that she would get the necessary “boring” stuff before hubby arrived. But after a few print outs she rushed out of the room, mumbling something about showing the Dr. something first. I instantly knew something was wrong. When she was leaving the room, my husband was arriving. I burst into tears. He couldn’t understand how I knew something was wrong when I never spoke with the Dr.

I remember sobbing in the Dr.’s office. My husband asked lots of questions, questions I couldn’t even think of. I also remember my Dr.’s cold demeanor. She often referred to my baby as “the product of conception”. She said it more times than I could count. I remember being ushered out the back door. God forbid I upset the happy, pregnant women in the waiting room. Those women would be able to go on, oblivious to the fact that our babies could be taken from us at any moment. I’m not sure how long my husband and I cried in the car.

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