bride 9 (1)

Julie

Mom to Lucas Timothy Dale

July 21, 2014 – February 26, 2015

Phoenix, Arizona

Hi my name is Julie and I am the mother of Lucas who died of USID. I was a single mother for several years with three amazing children, Brittani, Cayltyn and Steven. I was so proud to be their mother and watch them achieve their dreams. Then in 2010 I reunited with my high school sweetheart after 8 years of being single. We were happy. Then, to our surprise, we were pregnant with our son Wyatt who was born on August 3, 2012 and was an amazing blessing to our family. My older children were just in love with him. Then on July 21, 2014, Lucas came along. He was born a fighter. Early in the morning less than 24 hours after his birth, he was taken to the NICU due to low plate count. It was the scariest thing I had ever dealt with. But after a transfusion and 6-day stay in the hospital for him and me, we went home. Everything was great; our family was complete. Lucas was a gentle soul, was happy, slept great, nursed great and was not ill at all during his life.

But then on February 26, 2015, I nursed my son and drove him and his older brother to daycare. That morning I remember him smiling at me and just happy. Then at 11:00 a.m. I got the worst call of my life from the babysitter that Lucas was not breathing. I remember screaming and trying to get to my baby. Then when the nurse told me he was gone, my world died. I sat there trying to understand what was happening to me and how this could happen to me when I had done everything right for my son. When I went to go say good bye, it was like someone killed me along with my son.

After 7 months on this earth, my baby was gone. My life and family changed forever. My family, myself, my husband, my children, and my world will never be the same.

I think to myself daily, what if I stayed home that day, what if I did something different? I also blame myself every day for my son’s death. Grief is not something that is easy and I struggle every day to understand why my son is gone. I will [live] every day honoring my son Lucas Timothy Dale and making sure that he is never forgotten. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/12/8041.html

sam

Sam

Mom to Sawyer Lee

November 5, 2015

Maryville, Missouri

My name is Sam Bode, and November 5th is the date that will forever bring tears to my eyes and an ache in my chest. I’ll start at the beginning… August 6, 2015 was the happiest day of my life. My “nugget” was a girl, a perfectly healthy growing baby girl, Sawyer Lee Anderson. What could be better? We were halfway through our pregnancy and so excited, so were our family and friends. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/12/8028.html

image(1)Wendy

Mom to Joel

Born sleeping March 30, 2011

Croydon, Victoria, Australia

My husband and I started trying to conceive in March 2010. It took us five months to conceive Joel. I tested on the first day my period was due and it came back negative. I waited five days and tried again on the 13th of August and it came back positive. I showed the positive test to my husband who was half asleep and obviously he couldn’t go back to sleep [after finding out]. We immediately started thinking of names. It took me awhile to get used to it as I have anxiety and depression and take a while to adjust to change.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7362.html

richRich

Daddy to Sarah-Taran

February 20, 2013 – April 23, 2013

Nashua, New Hampshire & Paharganj, New Delhi, India

For two Dads-to-be, Gestational Surrogacy in India was our only option. Sarah-Taran Katherine was our first child together, born through a Gestational Surrogate-Mother. Sarah entered the world 9 weeks too early. Alone, in an Indian Hospital, she waited for me as I rushed from Boston Logan International Airport to Indira Ghandi International Airport in New Delhi, India. Twenty-seven hours by plane, three hours by auto, another 20 minutes to make my way through the sea of people, stopped by each and every security guard for appearing “out of place.” I guess that is the reality for a 6’2” 185 lb Eastern European blonde, blue-eyed 34-year-old in the company of so many people whose faces where covered. I wished I could have covered my face without looking even more inconspicuous than I already did.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7157.html

IMG950768-1Crystal

Mom to Mila Rose

March 2, 2012

Los Angeles, California

My husband and I had been married for two years. My grandfather had passed away shortly after our anniversary, and my husband and I decided that we wanted to try and start having a family. I was 28 years old at the time. I was healthy and so was my husband. When we first got married I was on birth control, but only for 2-3 months and then got off of it because I didn’t like how it made my body feel.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7078.html

IMG_1732Myssi

Mom to Greyson Eliana

June 11, 2012 – June 13, 2012

Punta Gorda, Florida

My sweet hubby and I had been married barely a year when we were surprised with our first pregnancy. We were so shocked, but so excited and so thankful for this little miracle the Lord was giving us! After a pretty uneventful pregnancy, I went into labor 2 weeks early!

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6855.html

AnnieBerndtAnnie

Mom to Oliver

December 24, 2012

Minneapolis, Minnesota

It’s been 12 days [at time of writing]. I haven’t talked to anyone really. I keep thinking the day must be coming soon where I’ll be able to talk about it, out-loud, with words. Right now the only time I can do that is if I’m crying and screaming already, and you can’t cry and scream in public. So I stay home. It’s not that I want to hide that it happened. I don’t care if people know. I just want to hide from what they’ll say. What if someone says, “well maybe you’ll get your girl now”, “well at least you didn’t have any memories with him”, “well at least he was only 24 weeks and not really a person yet”…??? Cause if people say anything like that, I just wont make it.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6517.html

Jessica Morse

Jessica

Mom to Noel Elizabeth

Born sleeping on October 27, 2012

Austin, Texas

I found out I was pregnant on July 22, 2012. My husband and I had not been trying as we have three boys already, two from his previous marriage and a 3-year-old together. The timing was just not right for our family. After letting it sink in for a few days, we started to get excited about a new baby. What if this one was a girl? We started talking about plans and how excited we were at the possibility of having a little girl. I dreamed of pink ribbons and tutus. We went in for our first appointment August 16th. We saw our little peanut with the heart just flickering away. We fell in love immediately. The first trimester flew by without any major problems except for terrible morning sickness. I took this in stride and with the help of Zofran was able to go about my days normally. Before I knew it, it was time for our NT scan. I couldn’t wait to see Peanut again. It was there that we found out Peanut was most likely a girl. I was so incredibly happy. Everything was falling into place. With her birth, our family would be complete. My husband and I immediately started thinking about names. We kept going back and forth on different names. I wasn’t worried about picking out a name right away, as we had plenty of time.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6489.html

Jessica

Mom to Claudia Leigh

August 26, 2011

Madison, Wisconsin

Last spring my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our third child, due in December. To be perfectly honest, I was shocked. Michael and I had talked on several occasions about having another baby but we were always undecided. After the initial shock passed, we were thrilled. Our daughters were so excited for their future sibling. We talked about it everyday, several times a day. 

http://facesofloss.com/2012/03/4906.html

Ali

Mom to Zachary Conner

Born still on November 10, 2011 at 5:53am at 20 weeks

Due March 22, 2012

Sammamish, Washington

I prepared for nearly a year, getting my body in what I thought would be perfect condition for carrying a baby.

We were more than ready to add to our family and were extremely excited when we got pregnant the first month of trying. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/03/4862.html

Jody

Mom to Maximus Wright Bloom

Born March 1, 2011 and died March 12, 2011

San Francisco, California

My second pregnancy was uneventful. I did not have high blood pressure like I did with my first pregnancy. I did not have to be hospitalized like I did with my first pregnancy (for a placenta tear). The pregnancy, while tiring, since I was now running around after a toddler, was as perfect as can be. All the tests that were done came back normal. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/02/4730.html

Lindsey

Mom to Lily Sarah Ellen

Lost on August 31, 2011

Mountain View, CA

 

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

My daughter Lily went from living in my womb to residing forever in my heart on August 31, 2011. I was 14 weeks and 4 days pregnant. At the time I am writing these words, it has been nearly three months since I lost my baby girl, just about the length of time I carried her in my body. Many of these lines were lifted straight from the journal I started while I was hospitalized following her death. If it seems disjointed, it’s because it was written over a period of many days, during many different moods. It has been a difficult process, putting them to type, but one done in loving memory of the baby who will always be, to me, my first child. Not a “miscarried fetus” or a “hope of a baby that never was,” but my first child: a true, unique and beloved individual. My story is a tribute to her memory, and is written in the hope that it may bring both comfort to other mothers who have lost their precious unborn babies, and awareness to those who, having never experienced such a tragedy themselves, are struggling to understand the experience.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3855.html

Adrienne

Mom to Avery Jace

Born still September 5, 2006

Traverse City, Michigan

My name is Adrienne, my husband’s name is Justin. We lost our first born to stillbirth of unknown reasons on September 5, 2006. I had no prior losses and my pregnancy was easy. At my 32 week appointment I measured 35 weeks, an ultrasound was scheduled for my 34 week appointment to see if I was having a big boy. Two days before my appointment, Avery Jace was stillborn. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3760.html

Meagan

Mom to Madison Grace Morales

Stillborn on September 12th, 2010

Arlington, TX

September 11th means the same thing to mostly everyone, the day the twin towers fell. But to me September 11th, 2010 marks the day that in my opinion my world fell apart.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3533.html

Stephenie

Mom to Baby K

Stillborn at 22 weeks 2 days

September 15th, 2009

Seattle, Washington

I had my first son in June of 2007 and he was a happy, healthy boy.  My pregnancy was in most respects, a breeze and though the delivery had a few minor complications, everyone was no worse for the wear.  We really felt lucky that everything had gone so well.  When he was almost two we decided to start trying again.  It has never seemed to take very long for us to conceive and this time was no different.  Within a week of trying we had conceived.  I felt a difference in this pregnancy, fairly early on.  I may have been mildly nauseous with my first pregnancy, but I never vomited.  This time, I vomited easily and frequently.  Sometimes it was so violent; my husband would find me crying on the bathroom floor.  Nevertheless, my ultrasound at 8 weeks showed a little heartbeat and what I called our little “gummy bear.”  The doctor prescribed some medication for the vomiting and off I went.  Because we went out of town and soon after my doctor went out of town, we weren’t able to get my next ultrasound scheduled until my 21st week, but we were all convinced I was having a girl.  My mom said that was why I was so nauseous and why I carried the baby differently.  In my gut I knew it was a girl as well, but I also felt like something else was wrong.  I had hardly felt the baby move.  I convinced myself I was being paranoid and waited for the ultrasound. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/10/3204.html

Kenzie

Mommy to Lukas Allen Bradberry

July 21st, 2011

Robinson, Illinois

My husband Larry and I were married on July 10th, 2010. We took our honeymoon in early August, and the day we got back I stopped taking the pill. I had been taking it for 4 years. On February 28th, 2011, I found out I was pregnant! I was so excited, and kind of suprised it only took about 6 months. My husband was thrilled as well, and he was just convinced it was a boy! We told everyone right away, and everyone was so happy. I have a niece that will be 1 in October, and that was exciting because I was due early November, they would only be a year apart! I had a feeling from the get go that I was having a boy, but I told myself it could be a girl (I would have been happy either way!). [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/3143.html

Tam

Mom to Esther Grace Slagle

Stillborn June 18th, 2007

San Diego, California

October 2006 my husband and I found out we were expecting our 3rd child, we had one girl and one boy, we were thrilled to be adding to our family.  At 8 weeks I started cramping we headed to the ER and then bleeding as we entered into the hospital, my husband was so flustered that he told the nurse I was 8 months pregnant and bleeding. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/3089.html

Heather

Mom to Brinley Nicole

Stillborn at 37 weeks on August 18th, 2010

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

 

From the beginning, I was scared of the little life inside of me. I didn’t know what I would do with a baby. I didn’t feel ready yet to be a mother. Of course, I loved little kids, but babies? Babies were a different kind of commitment. They completely rely on you for their comfort of living. It took me 8 months to be ready to have this new baby in my life. I was feeling ready to take care of her for the rest of my life. I looked forward to holding her, dressing her, feeding her, and playing with her. She was going to be a new chapter in my life that I was excited to start writing. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/2980.html

Kasey

Mommy to Brandon Thomas

Stillborn on December 29th, 1997

Bowling Green, KY

At 18 years old, I found out I was pregnant. I was a month out of high school and supposed to start college in the fall. My pregnancy went forward like something out of a textbook: very healthy, no complications. I gained an acceptable amount of weight. I was four days overdue and had to be induced because my amniotic fluid started leaking. The delivery of my 1st child was completely normal. The only thing that was surprising was my son’s weight – he weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs 6.5 oz and was 23.5 inches long! His blood sugar and temp were low at birth, but after a few hours he was fine. My midwife told me that I “was born to have babies.” [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/2938.html

Cori

Mom to Rosalia Evelyn

December 28th, 2010 – July 7th, 2011

Lincoln Park, Michigan

It took my husband Jeff and I three years to start our family.  We finally gave up and said we would be great Aunts and Uncles. After coming home from a family trip to Germany to meet my cousins for the first time we found out that we came home with more than pictures and great memories. I was pregnant! We were so happy. The first couple of months were great. No morning sickness, cravings, etc. At 20 weeks I went into my OBs office for my ultrasound, I had a scheduled appointment with the doctor afterwards… [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/08/2891.html

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