Mom to Matthew
Saint Louis, Missouri
July 13, 2015
I always knew I wanted a family, but I was terrified of being pregnant. Always having been acutely aware, in a borderline hypochondriac sort of way, of the range of things that could go wrong in pregnancy, I’d already thought of all the terrible possibilities.
Eventually deciding my desire to expand our family trumped my intense fear of statistically small probabilities of worst case scenarios, I decided I wanted to take a leap of faith, after 6.5 years of marriage. The timing was perfect – we were both approaching 30 and finally ready for a new chapter. We were over the moon excited when we found out I was pregnant! And I was still terrified.
Pregnancy was easy for me, at least physically. In the early days, I freaked out about aforementioned worst case scenarios. Dr. Google and I were frenemies – I was an accountant by day and an internet-trained maternal fetal medicine specialist by night. I cried during the first several ultrasounds, so scared we’d get bad news. Much to our delight, everything went perfectly.