neonatalloss

Christine

Mom to Matthew

Saint Louis, Missouri

July 13, 2015

I always knew I wanted a family, but I was terrified of being pregnant.  Always having been acutely aware, in a borderline hypochondriac sort of way, of the range of things that could go wrong in pregnancy, I’d already thought of all the terrible possibilities.

Eventually deciding my desire to expand our family trumped my intense fear of statistically small probabilities of worst case scenarios, I decided I wanted to take a leap of faith, after 6.5 years of marriage.  The timing was perfect – we were both approaching 30 and finally ready for a new chapter.  We were over the moon excited when we found out I was pregnant!  And I was still terrified.

Pregnancy was easy for me, at least physically.  In the early days, I freaked out about aforementioned worst case scenarios.  Dr. Google and I were frenemies – I was an accountant by day and an internet-trained maternal fetal medicine specialist by night.  I cried during the first several ultrasounds, so scared we’d get bad news.  Much to our delight, everything went perfectly.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7934.html

image1(2)Katie

Mom to Finnley Joseph Charles

Sarnia, Ontario, Canada

February 12, 2015

[This is] the story of our angel baby, Finnley Joseph Charles. Although this is not the story we had planned in our imagination on the days leading up to our due date, we still feel that our story needs to [be] shared and our baby boy be celebrated. Born still but still born.

On June 13, 2014, my life changed forever. I had been feeling so tired, sleeping all the time and [having] tons of headaches. Shawn had said to me multiple times, “Babe, you’re pregnant!” but I was in denial. I couldn’t be pregnant. When I finally decided to take a pregnancy test on Friday, June 13th at 3:15 p.m., I couldn’t believe my eyes. The test was POSITIVE!! I was filled with so many emotions. I was so happy but so nervous to share the exciting news with everyone. Shawn was working until 4:00 p.m., so I had 45 minutes to come up with a game plan to break the exciting news to him. I decided to write him a long love letter and wrap the test in the letter.

I remember it like it was yesterday; my heart was racing.  It was 3:59 p.m. and Shawn would be home any minute! I saw him pulling up, so I went to the back door to meet him. I handed him the rolled up letter and I ran outside crying (LOL). He didn’t even read the letter; he just glared at the test and ran outside after me [yelling] “You’re pregnant!” and I shook my head yes. We hugged and cried tears of joy for what felt like hours. He was so excited too!  I’ve always wanted to be a mommy and this was my dream come true. We were so excited but nervous to break the news to our parents. When we did, we got the reaction we had hoped for [and] they were all SO excited to be grandparents to our first born child.

I had an amazing pregnancy. The first 12-16 weeks were a little bit rocky with lots of migraines. I also had quite a bit [of] “morning sickness” that seemed to last all day! We had originally decided we were going to find out the sex of our baby. But as our 20 week anatomy scan approached, we decided that we were already half way through the pregnancy and we would wait for the amazing surprise!

From the day we found out I was expecting, I just had a weird feeling we were having a baby boy. Shawn (along with many others) said we would have a girl.

By the time I was 6 months pregnant, we had the nursery all painted, decorated and set up! We were so ready for our little bundle of joy. I have always loved looking at “baby gear” and I was so excited that I could finally buy it for myself to use as a mommy. I did so much research on the safest carseats and the best stroller for our active lifestyle. We had almost everything we needed for our baby by the time I was 7.5 months pregnant.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/06/7743.html

Amy (2)

Amy

Mom to William

April 27, 2013

Wichita, KS

My son, William, was stillborn. That is the hardest sentence I have ever said. He was born still at 38 ½ weeks from a true knot in his cord. He was our last child, the final chapter in our family. I have three teenage daughters and a 7 year old son. We wanted one more and tried for several years to have a baby. I had two miscarriages before William. Those two losses made me hesitant to become attached to William in the first half of my pregnancy and now I regret losing those precious months.

 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7309.html

Melissa

Mom to four babies

Noah
Born still August 17, 2011

Baby #1 – lost February 2010

Baby #2 – lost September 2010 

and

Baby #4 – lost July 2012

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

My husband and I got married in July 2008 and didn’t think we were quite ready yet to start trying for kids. We started trying to conceive and got frustrated because we were not getting pregnant right away. I bought an ovulation kit and the 2nd time I used it, we were pregnant in December 2009. We were so excited to see that little word on the stick: “pregnant”. At 11 weeks into the pregnancy, I began to have some spotting and went to my doctor. I was sent for blood tests on 3 days and they determined that I was losing the baby. I decided to have a D&C because I didn’t think I could emotionally handle miscarrying naturally. After the D&C we found out our little one only grew to about 7-8 weeks. The doctor just told us to keep trying and that miscarriages happened more often than we thought. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/08/5784.html

Lisa

Mom to Finley

Born March 23, 2012 and died March 26, 2012
in Naples, Italy

From Canada, but currently lives in
Winchester, England

My husband and I were married in July 2011 and 2 days later we moved to Italy on a military posting. About 2 weeks after being in Italy is when we found out we were expecting.

There is a British midwife who helps with the care there, but my care was mostly done in an American naval hospital, which is where I would deliver.

I had early scans at 7 and 9 weeks, then the regular scans at 12 and 20 weeks. We had the detailed scans at a private clinic in Naples, as the American hospital did not have machines that would scan in enough detail. At the 20 week scan, it was observed that there was high blood pressure in one of the arteries in the cord, which was giving reduced blood flow to our son. The American doctor was not overly concerned by this. We were told he would likely be small though. I was also told I would be closely monitored and that if at any point they were concerned, I would deliver in an Italian hospital, as they don’t have the facilities to deal with high risk situations in the American one. I went on to have more scans at 24, 28, and 32 weeks. By 32 weeks, although Finley was small (approx. 25th percentile), the pressure problem had corrected itself and they were happy with the consistency of his growth. I was put as low risk. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/07/5722.html

Gillian

Mom to Carter Cooper Barry

Born sleeping October 20, 2011 at 38 weeks 2 days

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

October 20, 2011.

It was a day like nothing I have ever gone through, or nothing I ever want to go through again.

I woke up on Wednesday, October 19 and got my 3-year old, Jackson, ready for our day. I babysit another child, so I was able to stay home with Jackson, who I still have a hard time separating from. We went to the drop-in at our neighbouring school, where Jackson will attend when he goes next year. I was 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant…I am so busy every day that I noticed movement from the baby mostly in the evening. I went to the drop in and really didn’t feel movement, so when we got home I put the kids down for a nap, and drank a cold glass of milk…nothing, then juice…nothing. I called my doctor and no answer, so I left a message. I called the hospital and they said to come in. The kids woke up and I called the mother of the child I babysit and asked her to come and get her daughter a little early. I had to go to the hospital to see what was going on. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/07/5656.html

Hayley

Mom to Tayla Lee

Born sleeping March 6, 2012

Australia

My Name is Hayley and I am 30 years old. My husband of 3 years is Glenn. We have a little boy who is two named Cooper, who we love and adore more than anything. We have always said that we would like 2 or 3 children and not to far apart in age. So, not long after Cooper turned 1, we decided to start trying again for a second child. It took me by surprise to not fall pregnant straight away as we had only tried with Cooper for a month and then discovered that we were pregnant. We had been trying for couple of months before we discovered that we were pregnant which we were very excited about. I made an appointment with our GP to confirm it and get a letter to get an appointment at the hospital with the midwives. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5290.html

Natalie

Mom to Noel Mary

Born still September 22, 2011

Fenton, Michigan

I am 36 years old, and my husband of 2 years is 34.  We have been together for a long time and he decided 3 years ago to make an honest woman out of me.  John is my best friend…he has been for almost 12 years now.  We share everything and can hide nothing from each other.  We are very much in love still and when we found out on January 14, 2011 that we were going to be parents after only trying for a couple of months to conceive. We were elated.  My pregnancy was okay as far as they go, until the last 4 weeks or so.  I had a very active baby girl in there and she was always on the move.  She loved to listen to me talk and when I did start talking she would move up in my belly just to be closer to my voice.  She would literally dance when a good song came on the radio, she had a knack for kicking or punching the beat out, my doctor thought this was me being CRAZY until she actually felt it for herself on a regular OB visit in the summer. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/04/5146.html

Leslie

Isabella Mae Camp

September 12th, 2011

Swanton, OH

April of 2011, was so busy for me. I was in school full time, just started a new job, my husband was working and my oldest son was just finishing up preschool. I always joked that my youngest son, Tyler, was just along for the ride. Tyler had just turned four on the 17th.

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3537.html

Laurie

Mom to Seth

Miscarried March 2006

and Jack Oliver

Stillborn June 30th, 2011

It still doesn’t seem possible that this has happened to my family and I…
This was my 7th pregnancy. Not a surprise, a bathed in prayer, highly anticipated baby. Children #1-4 were all wonderful pregnancies, delivering at home. Baby #5 in late winter 2006 ended in miscarriage at week 12. Up until this time, I’d always been impatient with women that felt the need to talk about their miscarriages, especially early ones. The loss of this pregnancy definitely caused me to feel much more sympathetic to miscarriage survivors. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/08/2910.html

Kristie
Mom to Harper Grace
July 8th, 2008
Front Royal, Virginia

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11    That is my life verse.  A verse I have treasured ever since I became a Christian many years ago.   I knew that choosing to accept Jesus as my personal Savior didn’t mean that I would suddenly lead a charmed life, free from heartaches or suffering, but I truly never thought I would have to go through  what our family did in 2007-2008.  
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/02/685.html

Rachel
Mother to Michael Joseph Milner, Born Sleeping November 14th, 2009
and Mother to Hope, Miscarriage July 23rd, 2010
Kalamazoo, Michigan
I was so excited to see that second line on that little strip.  It was so faint but I was sure it was there.  My husband said he didn’t see it so I took a digital test and there it was in plain English.  We were pregnant.  We couldn’t wait to tell EVERYONE and we did.  We were blissfully happy and there were no doubts, everything was great.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/337.html

 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/304.html

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