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Amy 

Mom to Ollie

July 25, 2015

Grantham, New Hampshire

We are a baby loss family. Our son was born, he was beautiful, and we left the hospital alone and with the most empty feeling imaginable. Our world was turned upside down, and we were left to continue moving forward, and define our new normal. Our family will forever be incomplete. Ollie’s physical presence will always be missing, but he will always remain our very much loved, oldest child. We’ll miss him on holidays, during family events, in family pictures, on Mother’s Day, on Father’s Day, and especially on July 25. We’ll always miss him as our baby, and we’ll also miss him as the age that he would have been. We’ll wonder what his personality would have been like, what his interests would have been, and what he would have looked like as he grew up. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/06/8264.html

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Tamara

Mom to Amari

February 14, 2016

Hartford, Connecticut

2015 was an amazing year. I was just into my 2nd month of a new IT consulting career, something I had been thinking about for years and my husband (fiancé at the time), was deep into his new job that ended our long distance relationship AND it was a coaching job at our alma mater (we both met there and we also did track and field so it was an extra special job). And the best part of it all, we were to be married that summer! July 10th, 2015 was a beautiful sunny summer day and we exchanged vows in front of our nearest and dearest. Then it was off to party party party on our Cancun honeymoon before the best was to begin! [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/06/8257.html

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Jaime

Mom to Mason Scott

Born Sleeping May 5, 2016

Chicago, Illinois

ASK ME ABOUT MY SON!

I want to talk about him! Honestly! I want to tell the world how he was so active that I was sure he was practicing dribbling a soccer ball. I want to talk about the times when my husband put his face close to my stomach and talked to our son and got punched in the face. I can imagine him, being a volleyball player, thinking “good spike, son!”. Those are the stories I enjoy sharing but I know that isn’t the story everyone is wondering about.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/05/8248.html

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Alison

Mom to Meredith

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

April 29, 2016

And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. -Psalm 39:7

We buried our baby on her due date. We found out our sweet baby Meredith’s heart stopped beating on April 28th. One week before – she had a strong heartbeat, my belly was growing. Two weeks before, I had a non-stress test and she was healthy and reactive. Three weeks before, she was perfect on our last ultrasound – 47th percentile in growth – what a perfect baby. Six pounds already. In the next three weeks she gained almost two more pounds and was moving like crazy. Yes, she had quiet moments during the day, but I never felt her stop. I never felt her die. I was 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. There is no fetal heartbeat. Sometimes this just happens. Your baby is beautiful – perfect. Except she is dead. 7 lbs, 12 ounces, 21 inches. Much bigger than her big brother Cameron when he was born. I prayed throughout my pregnancy that my girl would have a head of dark hair, like me. And she did. Maybe I should’ve prayed more for her health…how dare I take that for granted. There was not a time during my pregnancy that I doubted she would be born healthy and alive. How dare I be so bold. I already had one healthy pregnancy and one perfect child – why would this be any different? [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/05/8242.html

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Danielle 
Mom to Jensen Grey 
April 5, 2016
Gnadenhutten, Ohio

Pregnant.

One word can change two people’s lives forever. What better way for a mother-to-be to spend her birthday than knowing in nine short months she would have her bundle of joy. As soon as this baby’s parents found out, they were overjoyed of course and quickly agreed to a baby boy’s name: Jensen Grey. The baby’s mom knew the baby was a boy before the doctor even told them. They dreamed of holding him, kissing him, and watching him grow. Their dreams for their perfect family had already began to unfold.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/05/8233.html

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Emily

Mom to Lena Beth

January 10, 2016

Grafton, MA

My husband and I were so happy to welcome our first son in June 2012.  He has brought much joy and laughter to our lives.  When it came time for trying for another baby, we considered a three year age difference, but we were in the process of moving and it didn’t feel right.  A year later the timing was right and I got pregnant right away in July 2015.  Three days after taking a positive pregnancy test, I started bleeding.  It was considered a chemical pregnancy since I was 4.5 weeks along, so I never needed a D&C and only had to get blood work to confirm I was actually pregnant and then not pregnant anymore.  I remember feeling angry about having blood work taken three times over the course of two weeks.  I knew for a fact I was not pregnant anymore but my doctor insisted on coming in for the third time.  I wanted it to be over and to just move on.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/03/8179.html

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Samantha

Mom to Austen Elizabeth

Louisville, Kentucky

November 11, 2015

My pregnancy was not perfect by any means  – but, I knew the whole time, it would be worth it in the end. Every time I complained about being tired, uncomfortable or how I didn’t have anything that fit, somebody was always there to remind me how it would all be worth it in the end.

My husband and I had been married for about a year and a half when we decided we would stop not trying to get pregnant. We had been through the rough first year of marriage, came through closer and happier and we decided that we’d let the universe take over and see what happened. My very first cycle, BAM, pregnant. And before I could even wrap my head around that, I started to bleed. I’m not sure you can even call that being pregnant, because the stick was barely dry before I began to miscarry.

We didn’t let that get us down, and the very next cycle, again, I peed on a stick and it was positive. I was in shock, to say the least. I had read so many stories about how it sometimes takes couples months of trying to conceive before it happens and with what had happened only the previous month, I was a little apprehensive, but thrilled at the same time.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/03/8172.html

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April

Mom to Kristian

December 16, 2015

Rocky Point, New York

I am the face of stillbirth. I am April. I’m 23 years old and a mother of a beautiful daughter Areanna and my sleeping handsome son Kristian, who was too beautiful for earth.

Here is my story: Expecting for the second time was so exciting for my boyfriend and I; when we found out we were going to have a boy we couldn’t have been any happier. My pregnancy was well, no issues but one; my cervix was shortening so I was on bedrest. All my boyfriend would talk about was his son and how he couldn’t wait for his arrival. [There was] so much he wanted to teach him and tell him (since his father was never around) Then December 16, 2015 came the date for my scheduled c-section. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/01/8091.html

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Shannon
Mom to Zoey Ann
December 17, 2015
Los Angeles, California 
It all started when I was 30 years old and I was living in Branson Missouri last year.  Hi,  my name is Shannon and last year I found out I was pregnant. I was scared and excited at the same time.  I always wanted a baby. I knew I would be a good mom even though the father was not involved.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/01/8095.html

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Jenea

Mom to Ruby

November 3, 2015

Denver, CO

Our precious gem baby girl, Ruby, was born on November 3rd, 2015, at 3:30am when I was 31 weeks pregnant.

I’m writing this the day before our due date of our first child. My lifelong dream has always been to be a mom for as long as I can remember. As a school psychologist, I work with other people’s children every day and have a true soft spot for babies and children. I had found my soul mate, we married last year, bought a house, and at 30 years old, it was finally my time to become a mom and to care for my own child.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/01/8085.html

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Mokgadi

Mom to Ethan Francis

December 3, 2015

Randburg, South Africa

It was a Sunday afternoon when my husband got me out of bed to go for a check-up; I was in bed since Thursday. I thought I was coming down with the flu so I decided to go see our GP. With all the symptoms I had, he suggested a urine test which came back positive for pregnancy. We were 6 weeks and 5 days. It was unexpected but we were very happy and made an appointment with our OBGYN to confirm.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/12/8060.html

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Sam

Mom to Sawyer Lee

November 5, 2015

Maryville, Missouri

My name is Sam Bode, and November 5th is the date that will forever bring tears to my eyes and an ache in my chest. I’ll start at the beginning… August 6, 2015 was the happiest day of my life. My “nugget” was a girl, a perfectly healthy growing baby girl, Sawyer Lee Anderson. What could be better? We were halfway through our pregnancy and so excited, so were our family and friends. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/12/8028.html

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Liz

Mom to Lillian Grace

 Stillborn May 29, 2015

St. Louis, Missouri

Thursday, May 28, 2015 was an ordinary day. I took my 3 year old son to preschool. I went to work. Since I ended up getting out of work early and still had some time before my prenatal appointment at 3:30pm, I went to Target. I bought pacifiers and diapers. I remember another mom in the sunscreen aisle asked how far along I was. “35 weeks! Almost there!” Little did I know… [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/11/8008.html

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Dominique 

Mom to Cameron and Oliver

November 21, 2014

Homosassa, Florida

Cameron Wesley was a miracle baby. He was my second pregnancy, I was diagnosed with placenta previa and doctors told me I would have a c-section, which frightened me. Around 30 weeks, my placenta had moved and everything started to turn. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/11/7998.html

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Amber

Mom to Gage Gene

August 25, 2015

Abbeville, Louisiana

The day I found out I was gonna be a mom was the best day of my life. I was excited to share this wonderful news with my friends and family. My first few months of pregnancy were a little rough; morning sickness every day. After I hit my third trimester, things got a little easier for me. The rest of my pregnancy was awesome other then being pregnant in the summertime. I couldn’t of asked for a better pregnancy.

I went to my last office visit; I remember it like it was yesterday. It was Monday, August 24th at 10:30 a.m. They pulled me back to my room to put a stress test on my stomach to see how my son was doing. They didn’t hear a heartbeat. The doctor walked into the room and asked for us to go into the ultrasound room to do an ultrasound. I was so nervous. I knew something wasn’t right. The doctor started rubbing my belly. She looked so white and shocked. I turned to her and said, “Please please tell me what’s going on. You’re making me so nervous.” She put her head down and said, “I’m sorry Amber. Gage doesn’t have a heartbeat.” [In] that moment, my world stopped. They rushed me to the hospital where I gave birth to a beautiful 6 pound 3 ounce baby boy, Gage Gene on August 25th at 4:18 a.m.

Now coming to relate that my son was gone. How was I supposed to move forward? I never knew how bad I wanted something in my life until it was gone. [When] me and my husband and family and friends gathered together to tell Gage bye it was the hardest thing ever. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I wanted to start my life with my son and husband. I wanted my family and now I had to realize that wasn’t going to happen. Now instead of playing with my son and sharing every moment with him, I have to visit him at his grave where is laid to rest. My husband and I read books to him and grieve for him every second of our lives. I love my son more than anything; he’s my world. Just because I’m not raising him doesn’t mean he isn’t holding my hand, helping me get through each and every day.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/11/7989.html

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Ashleigh Singh

Mom to Scarlett Kathryn 

August 18th, 2015

Fort Collins, Colorado

 

Well, here goes nothing… I have been told by many people that writing about the death of a baby helps with the grieving process. I am skeptical that my pain will ever go away, but if someone somewhere reads this post and realizes that they are not alone in this terrible world then that makes me feel a little better. I am suffering deeply right now. I paused just then trying to find the right word. “Suffering” does not sum up what my husband and I feel. The truth is, no words can describe how we feel. Lonely, heartbroken, angry, jealous, depressed, lost-is there a word that can describe all of this and more? No. Eleven days before my due date, our lives came crashing down and we didn’t even know it. Here is our story.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/11/7973.html

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Natalie

Mom to Samantha Grace

February 25, 2009

Columbia, South Carolina

The news of our baby, the pain, labor being induced, together, this was too much for one person to comprehend. The doctor and nurses urged me to push yet there were so many questions. If my child is gone, what’s the rush? Why are they rushing when my body just isn’t ready?

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/11/7968.html

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Sara

Mom to Hayden Lee

Fairbanks, Alaska

August 1, 2012

My husband and I knew each other for 19 days before we married. That’s all it took to know he was the one. August 1, 2011, was the day we met and who knew exactly one year later we would be giving birth to the lifeless son we had longed for.

On January 28, 2011, I was ecstatic! I was pregnant! I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, diabetes and high blood pressure, I thought it would be a long and hard process but it wasn’t! Like any other couple who was expecting a child, we were so excited for the anatomy scan. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7951.html

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Brittany

Mom to Carter

Ball Ground, Georgia

January 7, 2015

Carter Scott Combs was born an Angel on January 7, 2015 at 36 weeks and 3 days.

…and to think, the first thing he saw when his little eyes opened was the face of Jesus?

I was born to be a Mom and I knew I wanted babies since I was young. If I knew then what I know now, I still wouldn’t change having our son.

Our baby boy has touched more lives in the past few months than some people do in a lifetime. I know God gave us this baby for a reason and I knew that I needed to tell his story.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7943.html

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Christine

Mom to Matthew

Saint Louis, Missouri

July 13, 2015

I always knew I wanted a family, but I was terrified of being pregnant.  Always having been acutely aware, in a borderline hypochondriac sort of way, of the range of things that could go wrong in pregnancy, I’d already thought of all the terrible possibilities.

Eventually deciding my desire to expand our family trumped my intense fear of statistically small probabilities of worst case scenarios, I decided I wanted to take a leap of faith, after 6.5 years of marriage.  The timing was perfect – we were both approaching 30 and finally ready for a new chapter.  We were over the moon excited when we found out I was pregnant!  And I was still terrified.

Pregnancy was easy for me, at least physically.  In the early days, I freaked out about aforementioned worst case scenarios.  Dr. Google and I were frenemies – I was an accountant by day and an internet-trained maternal fetal medicine specialist by night.  I cried during the first several ultrasounds, so scared we’d get bad news.  Much to our delight, everything went perfectly.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7934.html

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