Mom to Lillian Grace

 Stillborn May 29, 2015

St. Louis, Missouri

Thursday, May 28, 2015 was an ordinary day. I took my 3 year old son to preschool. I went to work. Since I ended up getting out of work early and still had some time before my prenatal appointment at 3:30pm, I went to Target. I bought pacifiers and diapers. I remember another mom in the sunscreen aisle asked how far along I was. “35 weeks! Almost there!” Little did I know… [Read more…]



Mom to Cameron and Oliver

November 21, 2014

Homosassa, Florida

Cameron Wesley was a miracle baby. He was my second pregnancy, I was diagnosed with placenta previa and doctors told me I would have a c-section, which frightened me. Around 30 weeks, my placenta had moved and everything started to turn. [Read more…]



Mom to Gage Gene

August 25, 2015

Abbeville, Louisiana

The day I found out I was gonna be a mom was the best day of my life. I was excited to share this wonderful news with my friends and family. My first few months of pregnancy were a little rough; morning sickness every day. After I hit my third trimester, things got a little easier for me. The rest of my pregnancy was awesome other then being pregnant in the summertime. I couldn’t of asked for a better pregnancy.

I went to my last office visit; I remember it like it was yesterday. It was Monday, August 24th at 10:30 a.m. They pulled me back to my room to put a stress test on my stomach to see how my son was doing. They didn’t hear a heartbeat. The doctor walked into the room and asked for us to go into the ultrasound room to do an ultrasound. I was so nervous. I knew something wasn’t right. The doctor started rubbing my belly. She looked so white and shocked. I turned to her and said, “Please please tell me what’s going on. You’re making me so nervous.” She put her head down and said, “I’m sorry Amber. Gage doesn’t have a heartbeat.” [In] that moment, my world stopped. They rushed me to the hospital where I gave birth to a beautiful 6 pound 3 ounce baby boy, Gage Gene on August 25th at 4:18 a.m.

Now coming to relate that my son was gone. How was I supposed to move forward? I never knew how bad I wanted something in my life until it was gone. [When] me and my husband and family and friends gathered together to tell Gage bye it was the hardest thing ever. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I wanted to start my life with my son and husband. I wanted my family and now I had to realize that wasn’t going to happen. Now instead of playing with my son and sharing every moment with him, I have to visit him at his grave where is laid to rest. My husband and I read books to him and grieve for him every second of our lives. I love my son more than anything; he’s my world. Just because I’m not raising him doesn’t mean he isn’t holding my hand, helping me get through each and every day.
[Read more…]


Ashleigh Singh

Mom to Scarlett Kathryn 

August 18th, 2015

Fort Collins, Colorado


Well, here goes nothing… I have been told by many people that writing about the death of a baby helps with the grieving process. I am skeptical that my pain will ever go away, but if someone somewhere reads this post and realizes that they are not alone in this terrible world then that makes me feel a little better. I am suffering deeply right now. I paused just then trying to find the right word. “Suffering” does not sum up what my husband and I feel. The truth is, no words can describe how we feel. Lonely, heartbroken, angry, jealous, depressed, lost-is there a word that can describe all of this and more? No. Eleven days before my due date, our lives came crashing down and we didn’t even know it. Here is our story.

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Mom to Samantha Grace

February 25, 2009

Columbia, South Carolina

The news of our baby, the pain, labor being induced, together, this was too much for one person to comprehend. The doctor and nurses urged me to push yet there were so many questions. If my child is gone, what’s the rush? Why are they rushing when my body just isn’t ready?

[Read more…]



Mom to Hayden Lee

Fairbanks, Alasks

August 1, 2012

My husband and I knew each other for 19 days before we married. That’s all it took to know he was the one. August 1, 2011, was the day we met and who knew exactly one year later we would be giving birth to the lifeless son we had longed for.

On January 28, 2011, I was ecstatic! I was pregnant! I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, diabetes and high blood pressure, I thought it would be a long and hard process but it wasn’t! Like any other couple who was expecting a child, we were so excited for the anatomy scan. [Read more…]



Mom to Carter

Ball Ground, Georgia

January 7, 2015

Carter Scott Combs was born an Angel on January 7, 2015 at 36 weeks and 3 days.

…and to think, the first thing he saw when his little eyes opened was the face of Jesus?

I was born to be a Mom and I knew I wanted babies since I was young. If I knew then what I know now, I still wouldn’t change having our son.

Our baby boy has touched more lives in the past few months than some people do in a lifetime. I know God gave us this baby for a reason and I knew that I needed to tell his story.

[Read more…]



Mom to Matthew

Saint Louis, Missouri

July 13, 2015

I always knew I wanted a family, but I was terrified of being pregnant.  Always having been acutely aware, in a borderline hypochondriac sort of way, of the range of things that could go wrong in pregnancy, I’d already thought of all the terrible possibilities.

Eventually deciding my desire to expand our family trumped my intense fear of statistically small probabilities of worst case scenarios, I decided I wanted to take a leap of faith, after 6.5 years of marriage.  The timing was perfect – we were both approaching 30 and finally ready for a new chapter.  We were over the moon excited when we found out I was pregnant!  And I was still terrified.

Pregnancy was easy for me, at least physically.  In the early days, I freaked out about aforementioned worst case scenarios.  Dr. Google and I were frenemies – I was an accountant by day and an internet-trained maternal fetal medicine specialist by night.  I cried during the first several ultrasounds, so scared we’d get bad news.  Much to our delight, everything went perfectly.

[Read more…]



Mom to Iann

July 16, 2015

San Diego, California

It was January when my older and only sister announced to us she was expecting her firstborn child. I was ecstatic and happy for her. By early March we sat around my kitchen table talking about her pregnancy and how I was having pre menstrual cycle symptoms, then she joked saying “Just watch what If you are pregnant too?” Laughing I answered “NO, we are not trying right now”. [Read more…]



Mom to Madison

March 17, 2014

Chatham, New Jersey

Our first child never saw the world. On March 17, 2014, we went into the hospital, 38 weeks pregnant, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. Our lives shattered in an instant.

We had had an uneventful first pregnancy up until that moment. I threw up once. The nausea disappeared right on schedule. Our ultrasounds looked fine, even the third trimester ones. We were so happy, but also cautious… We didn’t announce the pregnancy beyond close family and friends until our third trimester. We had the most un-baby shower baby shower (no games, no theme, no opening presents). We busied ourselves preparing for the baby – moving, unpacking, getting the house ready. The day we finally felt that we could breathe, felt that maybe we were ready to actually have a baby, was the day our baby probably died. [Read more…]



Mom to Zia

July 16, 2013

On 19 August, my daughter would have been two years old, but instead of planning a princess themed party and getting frustrated over the terrible two’s, I sit here writing about a baby who now lives only in my heart. Her name is Zia, she is our second child and only daughter. She was stillborn about 4 weeks before her due date making July 16, 2013, her still birthday. She lived for eight months within me; I carried her with immense pride and will always love her dearly.

[Read more…]

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Mom to Benjamin Ray

May 1, 2013

Sterling Heights, Michigan

We lost our son, Benjamin Ray, on May 1st. I was one day shy of being 31 weeks.

Around 28 weeks, I began to notice my son’s change in movement. He had been a very busy baby but then suddenly just wasn’t. I kept trying to tell the doctor, but she told me I was just being a first time mom and overreacting. I called the hospital and they kept telling me it was normal for him to not really move around 29-30 weeks.

[Read more…]



Mom to Brooke Isabelle 

May 23, 2015

 Isanti, Minnesota

I worked with kids my whole life and I couldn’t wait till the day I could have my own. I got pregnant a little less than a year after my husband and I got married and we were both ecstatic! My lifelong dream was coming true. Right away I started planning and getting so excited for our little one’s arrival. My first ultrasound was at 6 weeks and it was such a crazy and surreal thing to see my little baby’s heartbeat fluttering in the screen. I had some morning sickness but otherwise I was feeling great! Each appointment my doctor always said “things look great see you next time!” I let out a big sigh of relief as I passed first trimester as I knew the chance of miscarriage was less likely to happen.

[Read more…]



Mom to Madelyn Rose

July 21, 2014

Baytown, Texas

When the ultrasound tech told us we were having a girl, my jaw dropped. My automatic thought was, “I am not very girly. I can’t even dress myself, much less dress a girl. I hate bows. How am I going to do this?” Joel put me at ease with a trip to Old Navy after our ultrasound. He was ready to shop for his baby girl. Once I saw all the cute dresses and outfits, I thought, “I can do this. She will always look cuter than I will. But I can do this.”

I loved being pregnant. My favorite memory was lying on the couch with Joel. As usual, he was talking and rubbing my belly. He leaned in to tell her a secret and BOOM! Baby girl hit him in the face. I’m not sure if it was a punch, kick, elbow or booty bump, but it was the funniest thing. Besides the constant morning sickness, that lasted my whole pregnancy; everything was great.

[Read more…]



Mom to Adalynn Grace

November 15, 2013

Princeton, West Virginia

It was November 12, 2013…13 days before my due date. I laid in bed with Matthew watching Adalynn move around in my belly. She liked to kick me as hard as she could whenever I would talk to her, but little did I know, this would be the last time I would feel her move. She wasn’t moving the next morning, though I didn’t worry as this was normal for her, especially since she was getting so cramped in my tummy. So I went about my day, washing her clothes and organizing her things for her arrival. [Read more…]


Mom to Finnley Joseph Charles

Sarnia, Ontario, Canada

February 12, 2015

[This is] the story of our angel baby, Finnley Joseph Charles. Although this is not the story we had planned in our imagination on the days leading up to our due date, we still feel that our story needs to [be] shared and our baby boy be celebrated. Born still but still born.

On June 13, 2014, my life changed forever. I had been feeling so tired, sleeping all the time and [having] tons of headaches. Shawn had said to me multiple times, “Babe, you’re pregnant!” but I was in denial. I couldn’t be pregnant. When I finally decided to take a pregnancy test on Friday, June 13th at 3:15 p.m., I couldn’t believe my eyes. The test was POSITIVE!! I was filled with so many emotions. I was so happy but so nervous to share the exciting news with everyone. Shawn was working until 4:00 p.m., so I had 45 minutes to come up with a game plan to break the exciting news to him. I decided to write him a long love letter and wrap the test in the letter.

I remember it like it was yesterday; my heart was racing.  It was 3:59 p.m. and Shawn would be home any minute! I saw him pulling up, so I went to the back door to meet him. I handed him the rolled up letter and I ran outside crying (LOL). He didn’t even read the letter; he just glared at the test and ran outside after me [yelling] “You’re pregnant!” and I shook my head yes. We hugged and cried tears of joy for what felt like hours. He was so excited too!  I’ve always wanted to be a mommy and this was my dream come true. We were so excited but nervous to break the news to our parents. When we did, we got the reaction we had hoped for [and] they were all SO excited to be grandparents to our first born child.

I had an amazing pregnancy. The first 12-16 weeks were a little bit rocky with lots of migraines. I also had quite a bit [of] “morning sickness” that seemed to last all day! We had originally decided we were going to find out the sex of our baby. But as our 20 week anatomy scan approached, we decided that we were already half way through the pregnancy and we would wait for the amazing surprise!

From the day we found out I was expecting, I just had a weird feeling we were having a baby boy. Shawn (along with many others) said we would have a girl.

By the time I was 6 months pregnant, we had the nursery all painted, decorated and set up! We were so ready for our little bundle of joy. I have always loved looking at “baby gear” and I was so excited that I could finally buy it for myself to use as a mommy. I did so much research on the safest carseats and the best stroller for our active lifestyle. We had almost everything we needed for our baby by the time I was 7.5 months pregnant.

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Mom to Avery Mae Chandler

July 2, 2008

Plano, Texas

I was a little hesitant to begin having children. I knew I wanted them, and, though my husband and I dated for seven years and were married for three when we finally decided to start trying, I was incredibly nervous about the whole process. (In hindsight I can’t help but wonder if a part of me subconsciously knew about the pain in my future.) I was a teacher and had a self-mandated “baby window” so my baby would be born during summer break, and, much to my amazement and delight, everything went as planned.    

[Read more…]


Mom to Alana

Stillborn October 4, 2013

Katonah, New York

Alana Marie Banerjee was born on October 4th, 2013 at 2:21 a.m. – 6 lbs 8 oz of pure joy for me and her father. At 20 inches long, she was a tall baby, with long skinny legs, slender fingers with perfect miniature nails, and big soft feet with all the requisite toes. She had her father’s nose and ears and eyelashes, my lips and eyebrows, the softest skin I’ve ever felt, and a full head of silky black hair. There was only one thing wrong with this storybook ending; following nine months of a perfectly healthy and blissful pregnancy, our daughter was born dead.

Alana died at 39 weeks 5 days, just two days short of her due date.  Up until the moment the nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat, she’d been healthy and strong.  The doctors had called her fetal monitor read-outs “textbook.”  She’d been active and lively, rolling around in my belly, suffering adorable bouts of in-utero hiccups (often more than once a day) for weeks.  She’d passed every prenatal test with flying colors.  There was never a cause for concern – never a single warning sign.  Until, all of a sudden, she was gone.

[Read more…]



Mother to Samuel Robert

January 29, 2015

Greenville, Pennsylvania

Samuel was our “Bonus Baby” or so we called him.  The news of our pregnancy was a surprise.  Our kids were 9 and 11 when we found out we were expecting.  We had always wanted a third child but so much time had passed we didn’t think it would happened.  We so excited to learn that we would be adding a new member of the family.  My children helped with names and dreamt of the future they would have with their new brother or sister.  The day we learned that our Bonus Baby was a boy, we immediately went shopping and bought the most adorable baby outfits.  My son, who is a baseball fanatic, picked out a special baseball rattle for his brother.  The two of them also agreed on a stuffed Dumbo for Samuel that would hold a special place in his nursery.

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Mom to Tyson River 3/28/12-3/28/12 stillborn
and Skylar Jones 7/14/14-10/10/14 Complex CHD
New Madrid, Mo

My name is Tori. I am the face of stillborn & CHD Loss. I was expecting our second baby in 2012. Pregnancy was going great. I was 34 wks & 5 days on March 38, 2012 when I wasn’t feeling Tyson moving. Those words “I’m sorry we can’t find a heartbeat” are engraved in my mind. [Read more…]

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