Mel

Mom to Henry Lefebvre Bonnell

Born and died September 28, 2012

Montreal, Quebec, Canada

We had our first ultrasound on September 19, 2012 – the day we found out that everything was not OK.

While an ultrasound uses sound vibrations to get an image of babies inside their mummies, these sound waves crashed into the depths of our lives and reverberated throughout the universe in a spiral until it came to a deafening halt on September 28. We’re now trying to pick through the rubble and aftershock.

We had no idea anything had been awry during my pregnancy – no false contractions, bleeding, or anything else – just a regular, easy pregnancy to date that brought us a lot of joy.

During our first ultrasound, we were, at first, elated. It was our first time seeing our child. We found him to be the most beautiful little baby, and we were so proud. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6117.html

Courtney

Mom to Layla Angelina, stillborn April 11, 2007

and

Twin boys, lost April 22, 2005

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Growing up was very hard for me. At the age of 13, my mother gave birth to triplets. My sister was stillborn and my brother died within 24 hours of birth due to his lungs collapsing. My mother was addicted to drugs and gave me up for adoption. Luckily, I was adopted at 6 weeks old into a middle class family and I was the only child. Two days before my 12th birthday, my innocence was taken from me and 9 months later I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who was named Brian Anthony. I wanted him to have a better life, so I gave him up for adoption. After that my life took a wrong turn. I started doing drugs and drinking, and I wasn’t on the right path to succeed. At 16 years old I got pregnant with a little girl and my boyfriend and I named her Layla Angelina. The moment I found out I was pregnant (at about 6 weeks) I got clean and sober and I haven’t touched drugs since (this November will be 6 years clean for me). [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6061.html

Kristina

Mom to Baby Mamott

Lost September 22, 2012

Buffalo, New York

I delivered my 16 week old baby on 9-22-12. I sit here in my bed, in pain, feeling like I’m suffocating…wondering how this could happen to me.

I worked so hard for this baby. Being a mother has been my only dream. I finally met the man of my dreams later in life, and we started to work on building a family. I’m 36 and after 6 months of trying to conceive, I went to a fertility specialist, only to learn that I wasn’t ovulating. We found the cure, but it took several months of going through painful procedures and treatments, including hormone injections. My dream finally came true! I was pregnant. ME! Good ol’ pregnant me! [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6047.html

Sarah

Mom to Silas Theodore
Lost September 2, 2011 at 18 ½ weeks gestation,

and twins Asher Saul
Lost May 10, 2012 at 19 weeks gestation

and

Sadie Irene
Lost May 14, 2012 at 20 weeks gestation

Michigan City, Indiana

I was absolutely ecstatic and shocked beyond belief when I found out I was pregnant with Silas. I think it took me 6 pregnancy tests over the course of a weekend to really believe I was finally being blessed with a child at 32 years of age. I had tried to conceive naturally for almost two years and I think I had just given up hope that it was ever going to happen. Needless to say, I was very involved with my prenatal visits and constantly read up on everything I could be expecting and what I should do to ensure a healthy pregnancy.  I don’t think I ever prayed so much in my whole life! But as I got bigger, my pregnancy started to cause me concern. I had a lot of unexplained shooting pains when I would stand up or sneeze, and I sneeze a lot when I’m pregnant! The doctors always reassured me everything was normal and I got extra ultrasounds and examinations to ensure this. By the time Silas was born at 18 1/2 weeks, I think I already had 4 pictures of him proudly displayed around the house and near my bed! [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6037.html

Carrie

Mom to Thing 1
Lost June 21, 2011 at 16 weeks

and

Thing 2
Lost April 16, 2012 at 14 weeks

Melfort, Saskatchewan, Canada

My now-husband, B, works shift work in Alberta. One day in June, 2011, as we were driving down a gravel road, I blurted, “I’m pregnant.” This is the point the truck skidded to a stop and B looked at me. The ‘WTF Did You Say?!??’ look. I explained how I knew and after a dumbfounded silence, he started driving again. We started talking about him leaving a truck up at work, baby furniture, saving money and finding a bigger apartment. We were happy, the baby was flipping around in my belly and we went about our days, not really realizing what was happening in my body. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6006.html

Kate

Mom to triplets

Evie, born and died December 14, 2009,

Jack, stillborn December 22, 2009,

and

Will, born January 1, 2010 and died January 14, 2010

Currently Tampa, Florida (military family)

Time to Tell Their Story (written February 3, 2012)

I have never written about the details of losing Evie, Jack, & Will. It’s been over two years now since we lost the pregnancy and tonight is the first night that I’ve actually felt like I could write about how they were born.  I don’t know how this is going to go, but I feel ready to give it a try.  I am going to ask for patience, please, as I search for the words to tell this story.

It started the night of December 2nd, 2009.  It was a Wednesday. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/09/5956.html

Megan

Mom to Byron Matthew
Born and died at 20 weeks on October 10, 2008,

Early miscarriage, June 5, 2009,

and

Isabella Madison
Stillborn at 16 weeks on December 6, 2009.

Jacksonville, North Carolina

Whenever I thought about having children, I never imagined anything bad, scary, traumatic. You see so many women have normal, healthy pregnancies where nothing ever goes wrong and it just never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be one of those “normal” women. Never in one million years would I have imagined that I would be where I am today.

I remember finding out I was pregnant for the first time like it was yesterday. I was 20 years old and had been married to my husband for almost one year. My hand was shaking so hard I could barely show him the test results. I was nervous, excited, scared…so many different emotions all at the same time. I had my first ultrasound when I was 9 weeks pregnant. I cried as soon as I saw my little baby and heard his heart beat. It was such an amazing thing to me to see this life that I had created. That moment was something I could never really find the words to explain. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/09/5913.html

Tara

Mom to Antton David and Rayland Joseph

Lost September 6, 2012

Burlington Junction, Missouri

We found out in July that we were expecting “momo” twins. This was quite a shock. I went to the ER because I thought I was starting to miscarry. They couldn’t find the heart beat and sent me down for an ultrasound. The tech found the heart beat immediately. Such a relief, but then she moved to get a better picture of our baby and found there were two and only one placenta and one sac. This is what they call monochromic/monoamnionic twins. We were so excited. At the time I was around 14 weeks. Our girls, ages 4, 6, 8 and 10, were happy as well. Our youngest said she wanted baby sisters because little boys are mean, but the other three wanted baby brothers because they just don’t get along with each other and I guess they thought that boys would be more fun or something. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/09/5887.html

Jenny

Mom to James Philip

Lost May 18, 2012

Lake Elsinore, California

I am a mother of 7 beautiful children, and to my husband and I that was a blessing. In 2007, I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. After lots of tests, my doctors confirmed that my chances of having another child was 1 in a million. I was grateful for my precious seven and thought nothing of it at the time. I was going through very painful episodes monthly due to endo problems and talked about an ablation. My doctor said, “Let’s set it up.” I got sick and had to cancel the surgery. Thank God, because the next week I found out I was pregnant. I cannot tell you the mixed emotions I had hearing the doctor say, “You are pregnant.” I thought, “You must have made a mistake, I can’t get pregnant.” He looked at me and said, “I promise you are.” I cried so hard, so scared and confused. I thought this is a gift from God and I am blessed. When my husband and I went to our ultrasound, they could not find the baby, so they said, “We think that you might miscarry.” Devastated, we walked out in tears, but prayed for a miracle. We went back one week later, and sure enough, there he was, with a strong heartbeat. We both cried, thanking God. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/08/5817.html

Rebecca

Mom to Drake

Born and died November 18, 2011

We had given up; all the tests at the fertility clinic showed the only thing preventing us from getting pregnant was my PCOS and that I’d have to lose some weight and keep track of ovulation and it would happen. That was in January 2011; by summer we had decided that we would focus on us, and if a baby was in our cards then it would happen. It was too stressful to go 5 times a week, sometimes an hour away, to have the ultrasounds for ovulation, and expensive! June passed and we had great fun going to the beach, July passed and we drank beers at the local amusement park and rode roller coasters ‘til they closed, August passed and we were looking forward to getting ready for our favorite holiday- Halloween. I missed a period but that was nothing unusual because of my PCOS, so I didn’t think anything of it, I had no morning sickness and I was actually losing weight. September is here and fall is starting to creep in, another month with no period and I felt fine but I decided to test one day just for the heck of it- I peed on the stick and went about my housecleaning and came back 5 minutes later…POSITIVE! [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/08/5766.html

Rachel

Mom to Gabriel

Miscarried February 24, 2012
at 15 weeks 3 days

Mount Sterling, Kentucky

My son was 16 months old when my husband and I found out we were expecting our second child. We were nervous for a bunch of different reasons. We didn’t know how we could afford two children and I felt kind of bad for bringing another child into the world when my son didn’t even know what was going on. I felt like I wasn’t going to have as much time to spend with him. But as the news grew on us we became more and more excited! I couldn’t help but look at baby clothes every time we would go to the store. I was really hoping for a little girl since I already had my son, but as long as it was healthy was all I cared about. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/07/5696.html

Kim

Mom to Daniel James

Born May 18, 2012

Pittsburg, Pennsylvania

My husband Tyler and I decided to start trying for a baby at the beginning of 2012.  We were excited and surprised to get pregnant right away!  I took a pregnancy test on Sunday, January 29th and was thrilled to see “Pregnant”!! We went to church later that morning and were so thankful to God for the blessing of this new life created.   I called the doctor the next day and scheduled my first prenatal appointment for when I would be 6 weeks pregnant.  We had our first appointment and after we got the official confirmation at the doctor’s, we started calling and visiting our parents and siblings to share the great news.  We asked them not to say anything until we got further along in the pregnancy, as I had already been reading a lot about pregnancy and I knew what the risks of miscarriage in the first trimester were.  5 days after we told our families, I started spotting a little bit.  I called the doctor right away and she scheduled an ultrasound for me.  I was so nervous going to that ultrasound, but breathed a huge sigh of relief and my eyes welled with tears of joy as I saw our little baby’s heart beating away.  I got a picture to take home, and I was so amazed at how tiny, but how perfectly formed our baby was.  I framed the ultrasound picture and kept it on our bedroom dresser to look each and every day.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/07/5692.html

Helene

Mom to Andreas (Lille)

Born and died April 4, 2001

Helsingborg, Sweden

I’m Helene, the proud mother of 3 boys: one with cancer, one without, and one who lives only as a memory in my heart.

On April 4th 2001, I gave birth to a little tiny baby boy, who was  far from ready for this brutal world , and who never would have been, no matter how I would have loved him and cared for him had I been given the chance.

He lives now only in my heart, in my memory of what was, and my dreams of what should have been. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/06/5446.html

Malissa

Miscarried November 26, 2011

11/23/2011

I was at work. When I went on break, I went to the washroom and there was a little blood in my underwear. Then I wiped and there was a little clot. So I called my doc’s office and told them to call my work number. At this time they were calling me down.

When I got down I saw one of my bosses, and I told her what was going on. She told me to sit down. Then my boss came up to me and said my doc was on the phone. I told my doc what was going on and she told me to go to the ER. So I clocked out. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/06/5433.html

Lindsey

Mom to Quinton Edward and Owen Scott

Born and passed April 27, 2012

Edinburg, Virginia

Wednesday April 25th, 2012 started out like any other day.  I woke up tired and sore from being pregnant.  We had just returned from our babymoon and that weekend we painted the twins’ nursery.  I was so happy.  I got through my work day picked up pizza for dinner and headed home.  My husband and I ate, and I went to the bathroom for one of my many pee breaks, except this time when I wiped there was blood.  I immediately began to panic.  I told my husband I was bleeding; I tried to call my Mom, no answer.  I became more frantic.  I called the doctor on call, but he was in surgery.  My mom called me back to tell me she was on her way. She arrived in seconds and we headed to the hospital.  That was the longest 30 minutes of my life…a thousand scenarios went through my head, but I tried everything to stay positive. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5368.html

Ashley

Mom to Gentry Ann, born and died February 25, 2012
and
Savannah Elizabeth, born and died February 26, 2012

Memphis, Tennessee

I found out I was pregnant on November 9, 2011, after our first attempt at IVF. We found out we were expecting twins on November 28. After almost two years of trying to get pregnant, we were so excited to be expecting two babies. At the first ultrasound it was found that I had a subchorionic hematoma (SCH) next to Baby A, but it was small enough to not be much of a concern. The day after I was released from my fertility doctor, I was in the ER for heavy bleeding. But, an ultrasound showed both babies were doing great. The bleeding was from my SCH. We ended up at the ER again a month later for more bleeding, but again both babies were fine. At that time I was ordered to bed rest for three weeks. After about 3.5 weeks the bleeding quit, for the first time my entire pregnancy (at almost 17 weeks pregnant). [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5327.html

Tori

Mom to five angels

Two early losses: June 29, 1991 and January 17, 2006

Three at 15-16 weeks gestation:

Brinlee, D&C January 15, 2010
Matthew, miscarried at home July 25, 2010
Paislee, miscarried at home May 10, 2011

Nunnelly, Tennessee

My first miscarriage was after my first child was born. I didn’t even realize I was pregnant. It took six long weeks of heavy bleeding to get over it. I got pregnant again the very next month. It was a healthy, full term baby boy. That pregnancy was followed by two more healthy, full term pregnancies, a girl and a boy. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5315.html

Jen

Mom to Mariah and Juliette

Born and died March 5, 2012

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

My husband and I have been married seven years and through patience, hard work, dreaming, and a bit of luck – we have managed to build a beautiful and fulfilling life together. A couple years ago we decided we were ready to start trying for our family. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5227.html

Jennifer

Mother to Jude Allen

December 21, 2011

Parker, Colorado

 

Jude’s Story (from my blog)
Jude was the child God had for us from the beginning. We will probably never know completely why we weren’t able to spend this life with him, but we wait with eager anticipation for the day we will all be together again in Heaven.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5188.html

Amy

Mom to Aliya Amy and Bennett Paul

Lost August 5, 2011

Tenino, Washington

Paul and I were introduced in April 2005 by my friend Amanda, who was engaged to Paul’s younger brother (she’s my sister-in-law now). Even though I was dating someone else at the time, she declared me Paul’s perfect match and would not let it go! She was right, of course…although very different, we were perfect for each other. Our paths crossed again in July 2005, and since I had broken up with the other guy, Paul found the nerve to ask me out. We had our first date a couple of weeks later and have been together ever since. We got engaged Thanksgiving weekend 2005 and married in September 2006. We started trying for our first child in October 2007, one month after our first wedding anniversary. I’d been on and off birth control for years to prevent pregnancy…little did I know how difficult it would actually be for us to get pregnant. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/04/5150.html

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