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Thithui

Mom to Baby Mimo

February 17, 2016

Los Angeles, California

July 28th, 2016 was the day my son Mimo was supposed to be born, but instead, he died on February 17th, 2016, following a rear-end car accident. I was 4 months and 6 days pregnant of him.

In my heart, I will always have 2 boys. Both of them were “Made in France,” and “Born in The USA.”  Back in 2003, my husband and I were so blessed that our first IVF attempt with only 1 embryo was successful which resulted in our wonderful 12-year-old son.  In October 2012, I returned to Paris for our 2nd and last IVF attempt (in France, the age limit for IVF treatment is set at 42 for the woman): This time, we produced 3 embryos and 2 were transferred back at that time, but our twins did not implant.  Then finally, this past November 2015, I returned to Paris for my last frozen embryo transfer (I can write a whole chapter about this experience – but to make it short: It was quite wonderful and emotional).  Upon my return to Los Angeles, I did at least 10 pregnancy tests (sometimes twice a day), before being confirmed by three hCG blood tests (done 2 weeks after my embryo transfer), that I was officially pregnant at age 45!!! This was an unbelievable miracle!  Our family was in Heaven!!!  Then, to my amazement, I managed to pass another huge milestone: The 12-week “Danger Zone.”

On January 26th, 2016, my son came with me to my 14-week follow-up ultrasound.  After everything was normal, the ultrasound tech asked if I wanted my son, who was in the waiting room, to come in to see his baby brother or sister.  My son was so touched when he saw his Baby Brother or Sister moving and waiving “Hello!” at him, and he started to cry tears of joy! The technician then gave him a big hug that brought tears of joy to my eyes. At that time, Baby Mimo’s heartbeat was 169! How perfect!!!  During that visit, we were given a precious ultrasound picture of Baby Mimo’s face profile: He looked exactly like his Big Brother. Today, this picture is placed on our bookshelf in the hallway, to make us feel that Mimo is still here with us.

Due to my advanced maternal age, I subsequently had further genetic testing. The first Down Syndrome blood test came back positive which, according to the nurse, was something very common for my age. Then, good news! The ultimate nuchal ultrasound came back negative for Down Syndrome! What a deep relief! Additional testing including the NIPT which presumably has 99% accuracy also came back negative for any genetic problems. Our family was so relieved and happy and we really thought the world belonged to us!  The NIPT also predicted that Baby was a boy! My eldest son was so happy because he had wished a baby brother for the past 2 years.  That is a long time for a kid to wait.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2017/02/8417.html

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Emily

Mom to Lena Beth

January 10, 2016

Grafton, MA

My husband and I were so happy to welcome our first son in June 2012.  He has brought much joy and laughter to our lives.  When it came time for trying for another baby, we considered a three year age difference, but we were in the process of moving and it didn’t feel right.  A year later the timing was right and I got pregnant right away in July 2015.  Three days after taking a positive pregnancy test, I started bleeding.  It was considered a chemical pregnancy since I was 4.5 weeks along, so I never needed a D&C and only had to get blood work to confirm I was actually pregnant and then not pregnant anymore.  I remember feeling angry about having blood work taken three times over the course of two weeks.  I knew for a fact I was not pregnant anymore but my doctor insisted on coming in for the third time.  I wanted it to be over and to just move on.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/03/8179.html

Jamie

Jamie Lynn

Mom to Edward Malcolm Joseph October 29, 2013

Baby M #1: 11 weeks, July 2014

Baby M #2: 9 weeks, November 2014

Posterior Urethral Valves (PUV)

Ontario, Canada

 

Three years after marrying my amazing husband Michael, we decided to start a family. After a few months of unsuccessful trying, I had a feeling there had to be something wrong… I called my mom and luckily she knew a fantastic fertility doctor who could see me right away.

It was a pretty quick diagnosis – it only took one ultrasound to discover I have polycystic ovaries. We tried a couple cycles of Clomid and then opted for surgery to get my ovaries to respond. Two months later I was pregnant with our absolutely gorgeous and wonderful little girl, Halina. 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/03/7633.html

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Shelby

Mom to Elijah ‘Murphy’ Rhett

June 18, 2014

Missouri

Wednesday, June 18th at 10:25pm we welcomed Elijah ‘Murphy’ Rhett.

Our day started like any other–husband had court, W and I got chores done around the house, and everyone was looking forward to seeing the baby and finding out the gender. However, our appointment didn’t go as expected. The doctor saw fluid on the baby’s tummy and skull, which we asked what that meant, and he went on to explain that there was no movement, no heartbeat.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6987.html

046Alexandra

Mom to Georgia Andrews

January 22, 2014

Bangor, Northern Ireland

I just wanted to share my story with you all. I fell pregnant with my second child in May of 2013. We had planned it. I have an 8-year-old son, Parker, from a previous relationship so this child was the first for my current partner, and pretty new to me again after 8 years!! We were all so excited. My pregnancy was great the whole way through; a bit of the usual sickness but generally easy. All my checkups where great, baby was a good size, strong heartbeat and everything going so well. We got a due date for January 30, 2014!

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6943.html

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 Amy

Mom of Baby Marshall

Born and died September 16, 2013

Anderson, South Carolina

 

In July of 2013, we found out we were having our second child.  We were simply over the moon because we had been hoping for a baby for a while.  Our first child was 5-years-old and had also been asking for a little brother or sister so he wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6635.html

heather

Heather

Mom to Breely Grace

November 27, 2012

Hartford, Kentucky

I lost my sweet Angel, Breely Grace on November 27, 2012. I was 39 weeks pregnant. I went in that morning around 9:00 a.m. for my weekly appointment. I was having contractions off and on, so I thought I was already in early labor. I brought her diaper bag as well as my hospital bag with me because I was prepared to be sent over to the hospital. I told my husband to keep his phone handy at work, just in case and sent my little boy to my mom’s with his overnight bag.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6628.html

Alicia Starr

Mom to Cylas Emery

Born still July 2, 2012

Daytona Beach, Florida

In my first pregnancy, I was sick from day one until I gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Genevieve, and I thanked God for how great my second pregnancy was because I could’ve sworn that my second pregnancy, with my son, was the ideal pregnancy. I wasn’t that sick or anything like I was with our first child. So it wasn’t until I reached 32 weeks and really started to feel funny, really tired and my belly didn’t seem to be growing quite like it should’ve and with that I started to ask my doctor questions in which they always ensured me that Cylas was fine and everything seemed to be on track. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/09/5835.html

Hazel

Mom to Matthew Aaron

Sunrise and sunset July 28, 2012

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

We had been trying for a baby for 3 years, and by some miracle, after giving up, we found out I was pregnant. Matthew was my second baby and my boyfriend’s first. We were so excited and happy, and so were all our friends. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/09/5827.html

Hansi

Mom to Baby Asha

Lost at 11 weeks, 5 days on August 25th, 2011

Seattle, Washington

This is the chronicle of the brief life of a little person. As her mother, I feel like it is my duty to chronicle it. Without me, she has no voice., Already, I can feel that time has this way of chiseling away at memories, and I don’t want to lose anymore. Even though we only knew of her ended life a few days ago, it already feels like an eternity of sorrow. We have been to the inner reaches of hell, and we are trying to crawl back. Here is our story: [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/2999.html

Kasey

Mommy to Brandon Thomas

Stillborn on December 29th, 1997

Bowling Green, KY

At 18 years old, I found out I was pregnant. I was a month out of high school and supposed to start college in the fall. My pregnancy went forward like something out of a textbook: very healthy, no complications. I gained an acceptable amount of weight. I was four days overdue and had to be induced because my amniotic fluid started leaking. The delivery of my 1st child was completely normal. The only thing that was surprising was my son’s weight – he weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs 6.5 oz and was 23.5 inches long! His blood sugar and temp were low at birth, but after a few hours he was fine. My midwife told me that I “was born to have babies.” [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/2938.html

Angela

Mom to Lily Rose Lambert

Stillborn yet still born, April 22, 2011

Durango, Colorado

Lily Rose Lambert, stillborn yet still born, April 22, 2011.  This date marks perhaps the most tender moment of my life, a stillbirth I was certain wouldn’t happen, not if Lily’s fighting spirit were anything like mine.  And boy did she give a good fight!  My name is Angela and I’m 41 years old, mother to Lily Rose.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/08/2928.html

Audra 
 
Mom to Nolan Michael

December 19, 2009 – February 08,2010

It was April of 2009. And I just knew it. I KNEW that I was pregnant. HOWEVER, I just got a new job and we just moved into a house. Talk about bad timing, right? Anyway, I decided to confirm it in the bathroom at work on a Monday morning for whatever reason…
 
Shocked that it was really, real and thrilled, I called my husband while he was at work to tell him the news. We were going to have our 2nd child. The next nine months went without a hitch. We were going to be the parents of another healthy little boy. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/08/2871.html

Alyssa

Mom to Paxton Lucas

June 3, 2011

Commerce City, CO

 

My husband and I had been trying to conceive for a few months and I had been having some cycle abnormalities and had a HSG scheduled for early October 2010 as well as a prescription for clomid to take in October.  Well to our surprise we got a BFP on September 27th 2010. It was a very faint positive but a positive none the less and we were ecstatic. I had always wanted 2 children close in age and we would be getting our wish, 2 kids 22 months apart, everything was going to be perfect. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/07/2449.html

Kristy
Mom to Mackenzy Lee Aiken
Lost October 29th, 2010 at 18 weeks
Pulaski, Virginia
My name is Kristy and I am 29 years old.  I have two daughters Kalee and Mackenzy.
I wanted kids really close in age and I really wanted two kids by 30.  You know how the timelines go.  It took us 6 months to get pregnant with our first daughter so I knew I would want to try earlier with the second.  On August 7, 2010 I found out I was pregnant with my second child.  August 7, 2008 was the day our first daughter was conceived so that date was kind of cool.  We were shocked that this only took ONE try and we were pregnant.  We were so excited.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/12/612.html

Jamie
Mom to Angel Baby
Miscarried on August 4, 2010 at 8 weeks
Canton, Georgia
I am the face of miscarriage. I am Jamie. I conceived in June 2010 and miscarried my Angel Baby August 4, 2010. I was 8 weeks along.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/274.html

Andrea
Mom to Oliver Thomas
Delivered on May 12th, 2010 at 19 weeks
Austin, TX

I had my 19 week ultrasound on Tuesday, May 11th and was so excited that I had been able to push it up a few weeks and find out a little early if we were expecting a boy or girl. I had been feeling fine and everything was going well. My 16 week appointment was fine and the baby had a strong heartbeat. Afterall this pregnancy had been uneventful, just like when I was pregnant with Natalie.

We got to the doctor’s office 30 minutes early and patiently waited to find out the news. They took us back a little late and the ultrasound tech asked us if we wanted to find out the sex of the baby. We said yes and she told us most of the babies had been uncooperative that day. I wish that had been the worst thing of our day. She started out showing us a few 3d photos of the baby and we saw his little face. I remember thinking the baby looked a little smaller than Natalie had looked. She asked if we had an appointment that day – first bad sign. I told her ‘no.’ I saw she stopped the DVD and was taking some measurements on her screen, but we could only see the DVD initializing on our screen. I knew something was wrong and I got a quick glimpse of what looked like her looking at the heartbeat and I just saw a flat line. I didn’t panic at this point, but knew something was not right. She excused herself to go to the restroom – second bad sign. I told my husband, something is wrong, but he reassured me that everything was fine. She came back and my doctor was behind her – third bad sign. I asked if something was wrong and she said she just wanted to take a look at the baby. They looked at the ultrasound for what seemed like hours and then asked me to sit up. I said, ‘There is no heartbeat.’ They said yes and that’s when I broke down. Even though the last half hour had led up to that and I knew something was wrong, I still didn’t expect that especially when I was 19 weeks pregnant and past the high risk stage.

She gave Scott and I some time to cry and talk and then we had to start making decisions about the next step. We decided to go see a high risk specialist to get a second opinion to see if she saw anything else on the ultrasound. I knew that the baby wasn’t going to miraculously have a heartbeat, but they said she may have some suggestions in next steps in terms of blood work for me and possibly seeing something else on the ultrasound. I found out from my doctor that this is very uncommon in the second trimester and she usually only sees about 2 a year. From that first ultrasound the Dr. said she didn’t see anything that was abnormal, only that the baby had stopped growing at about 16.5 weeks. She also told me I would have to be induced and deliver the baby and that the process would take 12-48 hours. My jaw dropped as I thought, now I have to go through this long torturous procedure which will result in nothing but heartache and pain.

The high risk specialist didn’t really have anymore to say, but that she wanted me tested for blood clotting disorders and a few autoimmune diseases, just to rule those out. She said they would get the most information from looking at the baby and testing him when he was born. I got my blood drawn and finally after hours at the doctor’s office we went home. We had to be back at the hospital at 4pm that night to begin the induction process. We sat at home and had some lunch and really just tried to process everything that had happened that morning. We obviously were in shock and what should have been our happy day turned into a nightmare. The morning was filled with more tears than I have ever cried and I knew I still had a long journey ahead.

We scrambled to try and find people to watch Natalie and my sister, Sarah, graciously offered to fly down and stay for the week. She was a complete life saver and I don’t know what I would have done without her. We got to the hospital and got situated in our labor and delivery room. It was strange to be back there in less than a year and even harder knowing we wouldn’t be leaving with a little bundle of joy. They started giving me cytotec and inserted it every 4 hours. I had to stay in bed the first 2 hours of each dose. I knew it was going to be a very long night.

I started getting contractions in the early morning and they were pretty much like the early contractions I had with Natalie. I was able to sleep a little bit, but obviously had a lot on my mind. I felt slightly comforted in the morning, because as I would drift off to sleep I kept having these visualizations of a little boy. They were so real and intense and the same flash of him was there every time I closed my eyes. He was about 4 and had light brown hair. He told me he was ok. Every time I saw him, I was overcome with emotion and I just knew that that was our baby. I don’t consider myself a religious person, but I do believe that your soul continues on and I completely believe that I did get a glimpse of him. When I got up that morning, I just knew that it was a boy and was more sure of that then I had ever been throughout my pregnancy.

The contractions continued and I got a dose of stadol and later morphine to take the edge off. It helped, but I still felt helpless waiting in the hospital bed for the inevitable. The nurse told me I would get intense pressure, similar to a regular delivery, right before the baby would be delivered. They also said it would happen very fast since the baby is so small. Around noon I got up to go to the bathroom and kept feeling a strange sensation, but different then pressure. As I was walking back to the bed, I noticed something was starting to happen. I quickly got back into bed and my husband called the nurse to tell her it was starting. I was delivering the bag of waters and I knew everything would follow without me having to do much. I was just trying not to move so the Dr. could get there before I delivered. We had told them we didn’t want to see the baby at that time because I thought it would be more traumatic then healing. The doctor came in and I pushed twice and the baby was delivered at 12:35. It wasn’t painful at all, not compared to my delivery with Natalie, but so difficult knowing the circumstances. I’m so happy I had been through a happy delivery experience because this was still delivery and there was no way to be outside of the experience. It was emotionally the most difficult thing I have ever been through.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/10.html

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