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Heidi

Mom to Avery Rose, Everett James and Elliot William

Miscarried January 19, 2016, August 8, 2016 and Born May 29, 2017 and Died June 3, 2017

Aurora, Colorado

I completely believed we’d bring Elliot home.

I think that’s what strikes me now, on his due date, a little over two months after losing him. There is this stark contrast between what I fully believed and expected would happen, and what has actually happened. And my mind and heart cannot fully accept that Elliot will never be coming home.

This is not only the story about losing my Elliot, but about losing my faith. I tried at first to write this story without the faith aspect, but it’s impossible. I am grieving and grappling with two losses: the loss of my perfect baby boy, and the loss of the God I thought would protect him.

I will never have Elliot back in this life. But I have whispers of hope in my heart that someday faith will be a part of me again. Perhaps it is still, manifested in the anger and disappointment and confusion I feel toward God. I just don’t understand. And I can’t tell the real version of my story without sharing everything. Perhaps when I share this story in a year or five years or ten years, there will be something beautiful to share about how God met me here and healed me. But today, only two months later, there is just love and loss.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2017/08/8518.html

1312Rhonda

Mom to Miracle Grace & Liam Omar

August 18, 2008 & July 20, 2013

Lakeland, Florida

When I was 17 years old, I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified, but excited. The entire pregnancy was perfect, resulting in a beautiful healthy little boy. A year and a half later, I found out I was pregnant again. Of course, I thought everything would be just as easy. How naive I was. Less than a week after I’d found out, I started spotting. I went to the ER, where blood work was done (twice, since they lost it!) as well as an emergency ultrasound. After the technician did her measurements, she turned the screen to me and showed me my perfect little bean, with a good strong heartbeat.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7149.html

sarah

Sarah

Mom to Evie Caris

11/8/2012 – 11/9/2012

Norfolk, Virginia

In July of 2012 I had my 20 week ultrasound to find out the gender #2 (baby #1 is a boy, Micah, born in December 2010). We found out that I was carrying a baby girl but there were some concerns about low levels of amniotic fluid. After an extensive ultrasound by a specialist in maternal/fetal medicine, we were informed that our baby girl had some major birth defects that would not allow her to live outside of the womb. She had no bladder and nonfunctioning kidneys which would prevent her from making amniotic fluid and her growing environment would not be able to grow big enough so that her lungs could develop properly. The news was just heart-wrenching but we were trusting the Lord for His best. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6593.html

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