Capture (2)

La’Porchia
Mom to Jyson
June 15, 2018
Rock Hill, South Carolina

Being a mother is a role that you simply have to experience to truly know what it is like. There is nothing anyone can prepare you for or help you relate to. Although the road has been quite bumpy, being a mother is one of my greatest joys. My name is La’Porchia. I am 31 years old and I am a mother of two. My daughter is 11 and my son is 5. We reside in Rock Hill, South Carolina. After I gave birth to my son, I was not jumping at the chance to have more children as he is very active and drives me nuts with his never-ending energy.

So, when my fiancé, June, and I found out we were expecting again, shocked is an understatement of how we felt. We were in the middle of wedding planning and had to push the date back as a result of the pregnancy. Everything was happening so fast around me. I was nearly finished with the first semester of my senior year in college and most days, I didn’t know if I was coming or going. Nevertheless, we were excited about the baby. This pregnancy was very rough for me. I found myself vomiting every other day. No matter the dish, it seemed it made me sick which caused me not to gain much weight.

I had my first high blood pressure reading in 31 years during my 37-week appointment. I think it was in the 160 range. The doctor sent me to labor and delivery at the hospital to monitor my blood pressure. They monitored me for 2 hours. Before I was sent home, I was given a jug with the instructions to place all of my urine over the next 24 hours in the jug. This was to ensure there was no protein in my urine. The results showed my urine had no protein. When I reached my 38-week mark, I was OVER being pregnant but anxious to meet my little one. We had finally decided to name him Jyson Louis Davis.

I had my 38-week appointment and my pre-op appointment on the same day. I had a scheduled c-section for the following Thursday. At this appointment, they checked the baby’s heartbeat and my blood pressure and everything was great! So…how is it that the very next day, I am at the hospital and the nurses are telling me that they can’t find my baby’s heartbeat. At first, I thought it was Jyson being stubborn but I soon learned that something was very wrong. The pain that I thought were contractions were just my body telling me that something was wrong. As my fears turned into tears, all I heard was apologies from the nurse.

At this point, I can hardly control my crying because I am nearly sobbing. I am then told that my blood pressure has skyrocketed and they are rushing me into emergency surgery. I cannot begin to explain the emptiness and sadness that I felt when the doctor confirmed that Jyson did not survive. He was 6 lbs 8 oz and did I mention he was gorgeous? He was. Everything about him was perfect. My placenta ruptured. Supposedly, it was preeclampsia. Just like that, he was gone. The date and time of death was Friday, June 15, 2018 at 10:35 pm.

How could I not know that something was wrong? How could the doctors not detect preeclampsia during the numerous doctor’s visits? How is it fair that God allows so many unfit parents to continue to bear children but He took our son away? How could everything be great yesterday and be snatched away in an instant today? I had so many questions and not enough answers. As I held him, I felt so empty. It seemed I had run out of tears in that moment. I felt sad for my children who were anxious to have a little brother to play with. I felt sad for June because I know he was just as devastated as I was. I felt sad for my family who was so excited about the new addition to our family.

Meanwhile, I am told that I almost died along with my son and I am baffled of how could all of this be happening without any warning signs. Whether I chose to accept it or not, my son was dead and we were forced to pick up the pieces of our lives that weren’t scattered about and live. Even with the love and support of others, I found myself crying some nights when everyone had gone home and there was nothing left to deal with but the pain in my heart. I was so angry!! It seems that since Jyson’s passing, I hear good news concerning babies or see so many baby-related ads and it makes me sad. A very good friend of mine had her baby the day after I was supposed to have Jyson and I saw it on social media. Seeing that cut me so deep because I felt robbed. I texted her and congratulated her while my eyes were filled with tears and my heart was filled with pain. It is so hard seeing someone love on their little one when yours has been taken away.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2018/09/8725.html

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Kerry
Mom to Oliver
April 6, 2018
Syracuse, New York
 I am 36 years old and met my husband almost 5 years ago.  We were married June 23, 2017 at the most beautiful wedding we could have imagined.  We were married on Cayuga Lake in Upstate New York, where we’ve lived all of our lives, surrounded by family and friends.  Steve is three years older than I am.  We knew we wanted to try to become pregnant right away and were so excited to start a family.  It worked!  We considered ourselves incredibly lucky and couldn’t believe that we became pregnant on the first month of trying.  I had a positive pregnancy test on August 17, 2017 and texted my husband at work “Steve. Steve. Steve! Can I call you?!?!”  He called me right back and I told him the news.  We were shocked and excited.  It’s so odd that although we were actively attempting to get pregnant, we were still so surprised by the result!  Neither of us has ever been married nor do we have any other children, this was our first.  We are each the “baby” of our families, we each have siblings who have children themselves, so we know what it is to be surrounded by kids – our nieces and nephews.  We heard (too often) from our families, that we should hurry up and have kids.  I’m not sure we could’ve went any faster. ha.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2018/05/8630.html

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Elizabeth
Mom to Grace Anne
 
February 25, 2018
Rocky Point, Long Island, New York

Life is made up of a bunch of fleeting moments. Some you catch hold of and can fully enjoy. Some fly by so fast they are a blur in your memory. Then there are the ones that change your life forever. These, I guess, you would call turning points. These moment change the direction you thought you were going, for good, bad or indifferent. Some of these moments come about on purpose, like getting married. Some happen as rights of passage, like graduation. Others happen, as a cruel act of fate. Our family recently suffered from one of these moments. It’s a moment in time where literally everything froze and then broke into thousands of little fragments. Shards of a direction that we wanted to travel, shards of a memory we wanted to embrace, shards of a life that was taken before it was given. 

February 5, 2018 will forever be our baby girl, Grace Anne’s day. I was 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant with our second little girl. Everything was going according to plan with our pregnancy. Two weeks prior we had heard a strong happy heart beat, I was sluggish and starting to swell but felt fine, and Grace was giving me little kicks here and there. We had been renovating the bedroom that would be Grace’s and our daughter Madelynn was super excited to be getting a baby sister to play with, feed, and teach things too. Our little family was growing by one more set of little feet and we were all anticipating her arrival, in May. Little did we know our world was going to change so quickly and devastatingly. 

February 21st, a 60-degree Wednesday, I took Maddie for a play date at the park with a few of her friends. I wasn’t super energetic and my ankles were still swollen, but I chalked it up to 6 busy work days as a server. I just needed rest. I went home that night and did just that. Put my feet up and rested on the couch. Thursday came and went without much to note. Friday and Saturday I was back at work. It wasn’t overly busy but I was moving. When I got home Saturday night I was pretty swollen in my legs and ankles and super tired. I had noticed that in the busyness of work I really hadn’t taken a second to feel Grace moving. So when I sat down I had some soda and ice cream to see if I could get her going. It was the first time that week that I, not only got a little time to think of just her but I panicked inside a little. I calmed myself down and told my husband I felt we should call the doctor Sunday morning. That phone call was the beginning of the end. Those days, looking back, should have been noticed by me more. I should have paid more attention to my sweet baby Grace. I should have felt my body wasn’t supporting her. I should have called sooner. I should have…

Sunday morning, woke up feeling better. I wasn’t swollen and had more energy. I put off calling the doctor because I felt good. Maddie had a birthday party and I had a baby shower to attend. Half way through the shower it hit me, I swelled up, I felt tired, and Grace hadn’t moved. I called my husband, who called the doctor, and I raced home. Still not thinking anything bad had happened to Grace, but felt like I might need to be monitored. I didn’t know why or what was wrong. I was just off. We left my 4-year old with my mom and went to the hospital. 

The first nurse came in with the fetal Doppler machine. She was talking with us about how I was feeling, so I didn’t even noticed she was having trouble finding the heartbeat. She excused herself and went to get the sonogram machine and the doctor.  The doctor started to poke around looking for the heartbeat. She had a small tight expression on her face, like she didn’t believe the picture. This is when time stopped ticking, voices became jumbled, faces a blur, and my whole world fragmented around me. I can vividly see the sonogram in my head, even though I never saw it. I can vividly see my husbands broken heart and face of disbelieve. I can vividly see every persons saddened face. Then she spoke the words, “I can’t find a heartbeat, I’m sorry, your baby is no longer with us.”

The sound of those words were like thousands of windows breaking at once. It was deafening and so lonely. I instantly felt isolated, empty, and alone. My husband was there, we were holding each other sobbing, the nurses and doctors were there, but my little angel was gone. The minutes after hearing those words were probably the longest in my life. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Trying to wrap my head around my baby no longer breathing. I thought of a million questions. How long was she like that? Was she in pain? Why? What happened? Why did my body fail her? Why did I fail her? And then reality hit again, she had to come out, how was she going to come out? 

I felt like everything was in slow motion. Nurses and doctors coming in, moving us to a delivery room, calling our parents and siblings, it all seemed to be moving so slow around us. Our nurse, Jess, she stayed with us the whole night. She was supposed to leave but she didn’t and I was so thankful, I needed her. She kept me focused, helped explain decisions we had to make, and just helped me deal with everything I was going through. She contacted my actual doctor, Doctor W, because she knew I would feel better if my doctor could be there. Doctor W had just come home from a vacation with her family, but she drove right to the hospital to be by my side. She and Jess walked us through some tough decisions. We had to decide between labor or c-section, but since Grace was breached, the doctor was afraid of complications during delivery. So we went with c-section. We had to decide on an autopsy or not. How she would be buried? Or cremated. When and where? So many decisions that a mother and father should never have to face? I was shaking uncontrollably. My blood pressures were so high, I couldn’t stop crying and my head was just a mess. Nothing made sense. I was asking again, Why did this happen to my sweet baby? How did I not know? Then it was time, I was being walked down to the OR. This was it, my baby was coming out and I would never hear her cry.

Dr. W and Jess literally held my shoulders while I sat to get the spinal before the surgery. They worked together in the operating room to get baby Grace out as quick and smooth as possible. During the procedure my blood pressure sky rocketed. I was given some magnesium to control it. Jess stood by my husband and I trying to keep us both calm. Once Grace was out Jess asked me if I wanted to see her, I was so broken I just couldn’t bare the thought of seeing her. She took baby Grace and my husband to another room so he could be with Grace and came back to me. She told me how beautiful she is, with blond hair and the cutest little nose. Jess eased me into thinking of how I needed to see my baby, hold her, smell her, remember her. When I was stitched up and moved into another room I realized how much my heart ached to see my little girl. I needed to hold her. My husband brought her over to me. I held my beautiful baby girl for hours. I snuggled her, my husband changed her and took her foot print, we kissed her, watched tv with her, talked to her about her big sister Madelynn, had a priest come in to bless her and took pictures of her throughout the night. She was so perfect. Her nose and the swirl in her blond hair were exactly like Madelynn’s. Her tiny hands had little nails, she had the lightest eyelashes and eye brows and the smallest little pink lips. I will never forget her beautiful face, her smell and the feel of her in my arms. These are the best worst moments of my life. 

Several hours later the nurses came in and asked if we were ready to have Grace go her new room and us to my room. I broke. I realized Grace would be alone, in a cold dark drawer somewhere. She would be alone… For six months her and I were never alone. I couldn’t handle thinking of her without me and me without her. I begged the nurse to make sure she had warm clothes, a blanket and a little piggy toy they gave us.  They promised they would and even took pictures of her with the piggy for us. We were sent to the post-pardum floor and given a room at the end with a butterfly on the name plate. The butterfly symbolized to the staff that we had a “fetal demise.” I was grateful for the butterfly as the staff that came in and out were very careful with how and what they said, but I was so angry that we had a butterfly. I wanted Grace.

Hours ticked by, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I was in pain, I couldn’t think clearly and my blood pressures were still out of control. I was going nuts sitting in the hospital without having my baby to hold, feed, and snuggle. Again, nurses, doctors, family and friends floated in and out of our room. Everything is a haze. No ones words made sense to me, I couldn’t focus. I was empty and broken. Finally, I was able to be released from the hospital. I was so happy to get out of there, but leaving was horrendous. Everything crashed down on me again. My baby was being left behind. I was being wheeled out without the excitement of bringing home our new baby. As we rolled past other rooms, hearing the sounds of happy families, I got angry. I forced my husband to let me walk out instead of being wheeled. I cried as we walked past the baby balloons. I cried as we walked past the expectant grandparents and friends. I cried as I got in the car with no new bundle of joy. I cried as we drove away and I thought of Grace alone. I was hallow. I am still. I’m just an empty body moving through my days, pushing past my grief and guilt to make sure my 4 year old still has a present mommy, my husband has a present wife, and my family and friends have a present me. But in all reality, I’m a shell. I constantly think “what if?” I’m filled with guilt over so much, not knowing she wasn’t ok in my belly, making silly statements like “I can’t wait until she’s out so I can feel like me again,” or “I can’t believe we’ve decided to go back to sleepless nights and diapers.” I would give anything to have my swollen ankles and big belly back. I’d give anything to be up all night because of feedings and diaper changes.  I’d give anything to have a rewind of the past month so I could fix everything. Instead I’m up all night because of guilt and overwhelming sadness. My body has begun to return to pre-pregnancy but I don’t feel like me. I’m not. I’m a fragment of myself. I lost a part of me. A part that grew in me for 6months, that I will never get back. I feel so lonely and empty. I feel like I’m in a fog, a nightmare that I’m begging to wake up from but never come out of. Some days are better than others, where the darkness isn’t so blinding, but I won’t ever be whole again, or feel “normal” again. This is my new “normal.”

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2018/05/8602.html

DebbieCampbell

Debbie

Mom to Addy

August 11, 2017

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

​​My husband, Matt, and I found out we were pregnant right after the New Year this past January. We were thrilled, as were our families. We’ve been together a decade, and this was the first grandchild on both sides.

We had what everyone thought was a very normal, healthy pregnancy, regular check-ups included. We had an appointment on a Friday in August, and everything was normal as usual. Then, that following Wednesday, I had terrible stomach pains and left work early. We wondered if it was early labor at first (because she was our first, I wasn’t sure what it was supposed to feel like), but it was constant and pretty unbearable. I remember thinking it couldn’t be normal because I had a month to go and it hurt too much to be something livable for another entire month (I was 35/36 weeks), so I went in to the hospital. And that’s how we found ourselves watching our baby girl on the ultrasound machine, no movement, no sound. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2017/12/8589.html

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Amanda

Mom to Ethan

September 23, 2009 – September 25, 2009

Waynesville, Ohio

I became a parent in the fall of 2009. The day held all of the joy and celebration I had anticipated, but equally present were the unwelcome shadows of sorrow and dread. My son was born with a Neural Tube Defect (NTD) called an encephalocele that was diagnosed in utero. My husband, Derek, and I were offered the chance to terminate the pregnancy at the time, but ending our child’s life was a choice we were unwilling to make. Instead, we knew that big things were in store for our tiny new arrival.

The months between Ethan’s diagnosis and birth were spent planning and praying.  We met with a perinatal hospice counselor who helped us develop a birth plan, and we met with our minister, who helped us find hope in the darkness that had settled over our lives. To find strength and comfort, I read through all 150 Psalms repeatedly, relating to their bipolar emotions, from anguish to jubilation, in a way I never had before. I was heartbroken and grief-stricken, but grateful for the new life growing within me, and confident that God would make something beautiful out of our loss.

When September 23 arrived, and Ethan finally made his appearance, I was overwhelmed with the love and wonder that is universal to motherhood. I admired his tiny fingers and toes, and I kissed his velvety pink cheeks. My husband, too, was over the moon with this miniature human who filled our hearts so completely. We welcomed many, many visitors, and proudly introduced Ethan to grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. He lived for two and a half days, and during that time he was surrounded by nothing by love and joy. He impacted many lives during his brief existence, from the hospital staff, to strangers who heard about our story and prayed on our behalf.

Our rainbow baby, Tyler, was born almost exactly two years after Ethan. We now celebrate both birthdays the same week every year. We all miss Ethan greatly, and we realize that there is a hole in our family that only he could fill. We are thankful, though, that he is part of our family. Our time with him was a gift unlike anything else on earth, and he changed our lives for the better.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/10/8364.html

unnamed

Theresa

Mom to Adrienne Rose

November 10, 2013 – November 11, 2013

Glendale, Arizona

If I had to describe child loss using a word, my word would be painful.

And not like I broke my arm and it was painful or my pet passed away and it was painful; this pain is actually quite indescribable. You know when people describe their sadness and say they are “heartbroken,” well let me tell you, the moment I lost my sweet Adrienne, I literally felt my heart break. I felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest. I felt like I couldn’t breath and I remember asking myself, how am I supposed to live the rest of my life without my child? I questioned my faith, I remember crying to my husband and telling him how sorry I was, and how unfair it was because I wanted her so bad. I loved her.  She had been apart of me, of us for 26 weeks and the only time I ever got to hold her in my arms, was to say goodbye. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/09/8337.html

elizabeth

Elizabeth

Mom to Brielle Grace

October 2, 2015

Hartford, Connecticut

My husband and I were so excited, when I say excited, I mean literally over the moon! We are high school sweet hearts, we had traveled & had adventures, but something was definitely missing! That’s why when we found out I was pregnant on May 18th of 2015, we couldn’t have been happier. We had just started to see a fertility specialist because of a uterine abnormality (unicornuate uterus) and were surprised/thrilled/ecstatic really to be finally pregnant! We thought the hard part was over.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/12/8054.html

Melissa FOL

Melissa

Mom to Six Angels

April 1997, December 1997, August 2000, March 2001, November 2001, April 2003

Pennsylvania

My name is Melissa and I have six beautiful angels in Heaven. I never dreamed I would suffer so much heartache. When you suffer a miscarriage during your first pregnancy you hear, “It’s common, try again. It just wasn’t meant to be.” You really don’t think much about it. Yes, it was heartbreaking but knowing it was so common, I still felt positive and hopeful. Then when I got pregnant a second time and miscarried again, we were told we could send it off for testing to see if there was a reason. So we did. When we received the results back, they stressed nothing was definite without further genetic testing; it could have been a fluke so don’t stress.

My first pregnancy, I lost the baby naturally. I started spotting at 8 weeks. When we went to the ER, there was no heartbeat, so I was sent home to let nature takes its course and miscarry. Our second pregnancy, I was 10-11 weeks when we had an ultrasound and saw that the embryo stopped developing at 7 weeks but my body did not miscarry it. So, I was wheeled into the OR for my first D&C. We know from the testing that we lost a little girl. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7956.html

HannaD

Hanna

Mom to Maddox Tye

July 13, 2014 – October 17, 2014

Columbia, Kentucky

My husband and I found out we were 6 weeks pregnant in March of 2014. We were so excited. Shortly afterwards, I had a few concerns with my pregnancy and I went to the ER. Come to find out I had a placenta abruption. The doctors told me it would either resolve on its own or get worse. Only time would tell. So time went on and things were fine until I was about 12 weeks, I had another round of issues so I decided to be seen again. It was the same problem, it hadn’t gotten worse but it hadn’t resolved either. The doctor sent me home on mild bed rest. Things went well again and we found out we had a healthy growing baby boy.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/03/7609.html

unnamedRachel

Mother to Sarah

November 12, 2009 – November 15, 2009

Grove City, Pennsylvania

Sarah Elisabeth was born on November 12, 2009. She weighed 6 pounds, 9 ½ ounces and was 19 ¼ inches long. She had black curly hair and dark blue eyes. She was my first child. My pregnancy journey began on April 7, 2009, when I found out I was pregnant. Much of my pregnancy was normal. I felt sick and needed to eat every few hours. I was so tired I would take naps.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7355.html

michelle

Mom to Katie

Born sleeping May 26, 2009

Aberystwyth, Ceredigion

This is for our precious angel, Katie Isobel.

She didn’t have a long life. In fact she never even took her first breath in our world, but despite all of that, she was — and still is — loved by so many. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7259.html

IMG_3657Tracey

Mom to Liam James

March 25, 2014 – May 28, 2014

Las Vegas, Nevada

I’ve been with my high school sweetheart since 2005. After many ups and downs of regular life, we decided to get married in 2012. It was a dream come true, but of course we were now ready to take yet another step forward – children.

After suffering a miscarriage in April 2013, we were thrilled to find out that we were again pregnant in July. We were expecting a son April 15, 2014. We couldn’t have been any happier. Our family and friends showered us with gifts, love and support. We spent hours designing and building a nursery and converting our house to welcome out baby boy. Everything throughout the pregnancy was perfect. I had little nausea and fatigue, I worked out lightly throughout the entire pregnancy and made sure to take vitamins and eat well. On March 25th, I began having contractions. I planned on having a natural birth, but Liam had other plans. His heart rate wasn’t as strong as they wanted it to be for any pain medication. After monitoring him for some time he seemed to become distressed and aspirated meconium. It was time for a cesarean. 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7129.html

Victoria

Victoria

Mom to Joshua Patrick

February 20th – 22nd, 2013

Kansas City, Missouri

My husband, Patrick, and I met on August 22, 2010.  We both quickly realized that this was different than any other relationship that had come before.  We fell in love fast and were engaged in April of 2011.  We got married on the one year anniversary of our first “official date” on August 27th, 2011.  We both knew we really wanted kids, but thought we should wait one year before officially “trying.”  It was August 25th, 2012, when I first saw those two pink lines.  We were so excited!  August was definitely a good month for us!  We went through all of the normal first time parent’s excitement and nervousness.  We read books, we shopped for baby clothes, we did everything you’re supposed to do.  Every kick, every heartbeat were all amazing and brought so much joy.  We were so filled with love for this tiny little person.  We were in awe.
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7043.html

preeclam

 Kaitlyn

Mom to Andrew

November 13, 2012

Ottumwa, Iowa

On the day I was 30 weeks pregnant, it started as a normal day. I didn’t have to work so I decided to spend the day relaxing and spending time with Derek, the father of my son. When I was laying in bed, I started shaking a lot, but was not in any pain, yet. After the shaking had calmed down, I decided I was going to get up and take a shower. As soon as I stood up, I had this pain in my belly. I really had no idea what was happening but at first it didn’t seem so serious.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6853.html

Kyla

Mom to Tossie Adaline

Stillborn on September 10, 2012

Around noon on September 9, 2012, I started having contractions before I went to the family Sunday dinner at my mother’s house. I was 36 weeks pregnant and had just been given the good news that my preeclampsia was under control on September 7th. The contractions were between 15- 30 minutes apart. Around 3:00 p.m., they switched to every 7- 15 minutes apart. At 5:00 p.m., they were 5-7 minutes apart and I was starting to have back pain. My Bumble Bee (3 1/2-year-old daughter) was being amazing by bringing me cool glasses of water and chocolate covered nuts. My hubby was still far, as he was coming home from drill. To help relax and pass the time while waiting for him, I got in the shower and my mother watched Bubby (my 1 1/2-year-old son). Bee kept bringing the snacks and cool glasses of water the whole time. She also started giving me updates on Daddy’s whereabouts. I was glad to finally be able to labor at home and not be confined to a bed with an IV.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6366.html

Robin

Mom to Miles John

September 13, 2012 – September 17, 2012

Grand Rapids, Michigan

My husband and I decided to start a family in January of 2011. I promptly went off the pill and hoped that I would get pregnant quickly. It took about a year for me to finally get a positive reading, and 4 short weeks after that happened, I found out I was having a miscarriage. That was January 2012. Things weren’t progressing on their own, so I had a D&C on January 11, 2012. I was devastated and convinced the only thing that would take away the pain was getting pregnant again as soon as possible. So, in April, when we could try again, my husband and I went to Europe on vacation and the day we returned home I took another test and found out I was pregnant for the second time. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/11/6235.html

Christine

Mom to Lilith “Lily” Aurora
June 8, 2002 – September 17, 2002

and

Unnamed baby
Lost October 2012

Saint Paul Park, Minnesota

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I was nervous and kind of scared when I found out. My boyfriend at the time wasn’t much of a boyfriend, as he had cheated on me a few times before, he had no job, and no place to live, since I kicked him out when I had found out he cheated. Why I was attracted to him in the first place eludes me now. The only reason I can think of why I reconnected with him after his infidelity, was that I was young, lonely, naive, and he was my first.

I didn’t know what I was going to do. I always dreamed of being a mother, but I didn’t know of I could do it on my own. My sister, a single mother herself, was a huge support for me, and I looked to her for advice before deciding anything. She was the example I saw that conviction me that I could do this; I could have this baby. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6123.html

Brittani

Mom to Leighton

Lost September 7, 2012

Columbus, Ohio

I found out on July 8th that we were expecting. I was 4 weeks pregnant and due March 15th! So close to my mom’s (March 6th) and my father-in-law’s (March 9th) birthdays! How cool! We were so excited, and so were our daughters!

From day one of finding out I was pregnant, I just had a weird feeling about something, while also having a lot of abdominal pains. At 6 weeks, we finally decided to just go to the hospital and have me checked over. At first they couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but knew something was. They thought I was pregnant with twins and one didn’t make it. They soon realized my hCG levels were not rising enough to be pregnant with twins. My hCG levels were actually lower than they should have been for a 6 week pregnancy. Then we found out that I had a cyst on one side of our baby and a “bleed” on the other. We were worried, but were reassured that for now everything was ok. They scheduled me for an ultrasound and hCG levels checked a couple days later, and everything was good with both! [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6070.html

Sara

Mom to Isla

Born sleeping July 13, 2012

Plymouth, United Kingdom

So our baby girl was born forever sleeping on Friday 13th July 2012 at 23.52, weighing 2lb 1oz. She was so beautiful and we named her Isla, a beautiful name.

Briefly – We went to hospital about ten pm on Wednesday 11th July after getting worried about reduced movements and lack of weeing. Tried to listen to heartbeat but nothing. Did scan and no hb. Between Tuesday (when had mw appt and heard hb) and and Wednesday our little girl died. She was 26 weeks that Thursday. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/08/5776.html

Emily

Mom to Landon James

Born still September 4, 2006

Lebanon, Missouri

I was 25 weeks pregnant. I woke up on Thursday August 31st, 2006 with a sick feeling in my stomach. I had a sick feeling in my stomach every time I woke up, because I had non –stop morning sickness during my pregnancy, but this was different. My whole body was swollen. It felt as if my fingertips would bust open at any second. Something wasn’t right… but I blamed it on my ever changing body during this pregnancy. I thought this was just another side-effect that I would have to deal with. I got up as usual, went to class. I was taking a full load this semester so I wouldn’t get behind. I didn’t want to be one of those teen moms that didn’t amount to anything. I wanted to get my degree and be able to give my son everything that he deserved. I pushed on through the day, then after class went to work. I was a secretary at a law firm where my step mom worked. When I got there that afternoon, I showed her my ankles and my hands. She said that was just part of it. That evening when I got home I kept my feet propped up, trying to relieve some of the swelling. I fell asleep with several pillows under my legs that night. I remember laying there and putting my hands on my belly, feeling Landon kick. He was always very active when I lay down to go to sleep. [Read more…]

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