Mom to Caleb James Hiltz

July 29, 2011 – September 21, 2011

Buffalo, New York

My husband and I have been together since our early 20’s and we got married just one year ago on 11/12/2010. We were so excited to start our family, which was the natural progression after getting married.  So you can imagine my surprise on 3/4/2011 when I got a positive pregnancy test, or two.. Since I did not believe it either.  [Read more…]



Mom to Beatrix Elizabeth

December 13th, 2010

2:05 a.m. – 3:50 a.m.

Upstate New York

My name is Sarah, and my daughter, Beatrix Elizabeth was born on December 13, 2010. She lived for almost two hours after she was born, and was so very beautiful. I miss her so. [Read more…]



Mom to angel baby Emily Rose

Early Miscarriage, August 17th, 2011

Syracuse, New York

I am Monica.  I’m 28 and had been on the pill for about 12-ish years.  I recently married Kevin, the love of my life, on May 28 and I stopped taking the pill as soon as we came back from our honeymoon.  We had talked about having children for a long time and were anxious to start our family.  I was really surprised (that it happened so fast) and super excited to see what I thought was a positive pregnancy test on 8/10/11… I was so nervous that I bought a digital test on 8/11/11… “PREGNANT”… there was no questioning that… and I was thrilled!  My husband was so excited! [Read more…]


Annie McKenney

Mom to two Angels

Brewster NY


My name is Annie McKenney and I live in Brewster NY. I am 37 years old and I love being a mom. [Read more…]



Losses on December 31, 2006

January 20, 2009

October 20, 2009

December 23, 2009

July 12, 2010

April 2011

Cohoes, NY

My name is Samantha and I am a 33 year old woman who has had one live birth and has suffered 6 miscarriages.  My husband and I were married in August of 2006 and decided we wanted to try and have children right away.  We found out in November that were pregnant and were so excited.  We decided to tell our families right away.  They were all so excited, as were we.  We had no idea what to expect, but things were going well.  I started having some spotting just after Christmas, and was very scared by what was going on.  I went to the ER with my husband and they said that it did not look good.  By now I was having heavy bleeding and spotting.  I ended up miscarrying our first child at 7 weeks.  It was December 31, 2006.  Sadly as I was in one hospital miscarrying, my niece was being born in another.   [Read more…]



Mom to Annalyse & “My Little Boy”

Born and Died April 24th, 2011

Forest Hills, New York

My children are no longer with me and I miss them, every moment of every day, I miss them.  I ache for them with a deep, soul, ache that cannot be captured in words, or explained.  My arms feel the weight of their emptiness.  My heart feels the emptiness of this wait. [Read more…]



Mom to Ryan Matthew

May 21, 2011

Rochester, NY

Our world was turned upside down in 25 minutes. It was actually happening for 5 days we just didn’t know it. [Read more…]



Mom to Kevin Scott Smith

May 19, 2011

Kingston, New York

I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I also knew the journey would be a difficult one. For as long as I can remember I was told I would need help in becoming a mother. I have P.O.S. Poly cystic ovary syndrome. So you could imagine my shock when my boyfriend Scott and I found out we were pregnant.  I remember almost being in denial about the whole thing. On January 28,2011 we had our first ultrasound, everything looked great. We were told we should see an Internal Fetal Medicine Specialist due to my P.O.S.  We had ultrasounds every 3 weeks. I loved watching my baby grow and move around like crazy! Everything was going great, I had no morning sickness, no pains of any kind just the occasional heartburn. We were both completely healthy.



Mother to Simon Xavier

November 4th, 2010-March 17th, 2011

Fingerlakes Region, New York

This is my third time trying to type this all out; the first two times I just started crying and couldn’t see enough to type. Somehow, today I’m better.

[Read more…]



Miscarriage – July 18th, 2010

and Second Miscarriage – January 8th, 2011

Florida, New York

I was at work on Saturday 7/17/10, the day before my weeklong vacation was supposed to start, and experienced some spotting paired with menstrual-like cramps. It really freaked me out since I’d had absolutely NO bleeding since my last period and hadn’t had much cramping. My boyfriend and I had been trying since late February of 2010 and were so excited. [Read more…]


Mommy to Austin Liam
January 2nd, 2008
Adams, New York
On April 28th, 2007, I found out I was pregnant for my firstborn son, Austin. I was 17 at the time and scared to death but I was happily going through with the pregnancy. I went to the doctor that my boyfriend’s mom recommended because she had him with her last son…and I wish that I had gone with my first instincts about him because he turned out to be the last person who should have taken care of us. He was very opinionated even going as far as to tell me that I was too young to be having a baby. That may have been, but I believe that it was completely unprofessional to say that to me.

We found out that I was O-Negative meaning I would have to have rhogam shots. Fine. I never had a problem throughout my whole pregnancy until December 27th, my due date. I was having severe back pain and went in to my doctors office. He checked the babies heartbeat and it was ALOT lower than normal. I knew what his heartrate was from every single appointment because it seemed important to know. Then, the doctor told me that I was fine and sent me home saying he’d see me at my next appointment. I didn’t feel the baby move really for a few days and I didn’t even really think about it because everyone tells you that the baby doesn’t move as much when you get near the end of your pregnancy. So, I just assumed it was normal. On December 31st, I started having some back contractions but nothing timeable so I didn’t think much of it. The next morning I was having contractions that timed at 7 minutes apart. I called the doctor and he told me that once they got to 5 minutes apart to call him back. As soon as I was able to call him back he told me to go ahead and meet him at the hospital.

[Read more…]


Mom to Zoie Madisyn Hebert
Born Sleeping November 30th, 2010 at 39 weeks
Plattsburg, New York
 I went into my 39 week doctors appointment Tuesday morning and it was just like every other routine appointment. He checked my cervix and I was 2cm, then he went to listen to her heartbeat and he couldn’t find it. He took me in to check on the ultrasound and he still couldn’t find it. I was sent to an imaging center to check on a better machine…. still nothing! This was the worse news ever.

[Read more…]


Missed Miscarriage at 12 weeks
December 2010
Albany, New York

My husband and I were thrilled to be expecting our 2nd child. We had a 6 week scan, which was routine at my OB and saw a strong heartbeat.  Things progressed…I had horrible morning sickness, but told myself it was all worth it.

At 11 weeks, we had an NT scan, and the heart rate was great, the baby measured 11w5d (on target, even a bit ahead.) He/she was not amused at being awakened…started wriggling and often putting its tiny fist to its mouth. The tech said growth looked good, and the results ended up being normal.
We had a great Christmas. On the Monday after Christmas, I had my 12 week OB appointment scheduled. This was exactly 1 week after the NT scan. There had been a horrible snowstorm, and I thought the appointment might be canceled, but it wasn’t. I braved the 45 minute drive on the horrible roads, and got there. When the doctor tried to hear the heartbeat with the Doppler, he couldn’t find it. I laid on the table trying to reassure myself, because they had a hard time finding my son’s heartbeat around the same time of pregnancy, and he’d been fine. The doctor changed the battery out but still couldn’t find it. They said they’d schedule me for an ultrasound at 4pm the next day, a full 24 hours later. He said probably everything was okay, that I might have a tilted uterus. As the nurse was scheduling my ultrasound on the phone, she said, “No fetal heart tones found.” Another pregnant woman walked out and was scheduling her anatomy scan while I tried not to cry.

[Read more…]


Mom to Matthew Kristopher
Stillborn on July 27th, 2002 at 38 weeks
East Northport, New York
Life is not without loss. Everyone experiences it in some form during their life. How do you move on from your darkest days, when time stands still but life goes on around you? How do you pick up the shattered pieces and move forward, to rebuild your life, rise above the pain, and perhaps come out stronger and more determined than before? How do you go on to do something positive and help others in a similar situation, while helping yourself to heal? There will be light at the end of your long dark tunnel. You will get there eventually, maybe without even realizing it, and maybe by constantly working your way out, one little step at a time. This is my story of loss, grief, healing, and passion found.

[Read more…]


Mom to Dillan Jesse P. Leombruno
September 17th, 1999
12:20 a.m. – 1:52 p.m.
Clifton Park, New York
Dillan’s Life…..

[Read more…]


Our Little Angel, Miscarried August 25th, 2010
Albany, New York
My husband and I have 2 daughters, ages 5 1/2 and 3 years old.  We were always surprised by their pregancies.  When we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd baby, we had so many emotions running through our minds. Exciement, anticipation, we were scared, we were sad, we were happy.  In the back of my mind I knew something was not quite right, even from the very beginning.  I had spotting at 4 weeks when I found out I was pregnant.  I had cramps and bleeding everyday.  I went to the dr., went to the specialists, and had a few ultrasounds.  I was told everything looked good.  My HCG numbers were doubling as they should.  I just could not shake the feeling that something was wrong.
On Monday, August 23, I went for my ultrasound at 7 weeks, I saw the baby, a strong heartbeat and the dr. said everything looked great.  That Wednesday, I was at a Traumatic Brain Injury Awareness Day event that had been created in honor of my dad, as he is a TBI survivor.  I went to the bathroom, and was passing huge blood clots.  I feared the worst.  I called my dr.  they told me to come right in, when I got there, they did an ultrasound immediately.  I had taken my dad with me.  For the past 2 years since his accident I have been acting as his caretaker, I never imagined, that the one day I needed my dad the most, he would be able to be my caretaker again.

[Read more…]


1st loss- February 12th, 2009
2nd loss- October 13th, 2009
3rd loss- December 16th, 2009
Chemical Pregnancy- January 22nd, 2009
Long Island, New York 
In 1 year, I have suffered 3 miscarriages, I chemical pregnancy, 3 D&Cs, 2 cycles of IVF, 6 IUIs, an HSG and Lap procedure, OHSS, given hundreds of vials of blood, given myself hundreds, if not a thousand shots, been diagnosed with auto immune and thrombophilia issues, and have cried an infinite number of tears.  My journey to become a mother has changed me.  This is my story. 
Like many infertile women would say, I thought getting pregnant would be a piece of cake.  Each month, I thought, “this is it.” My first pregnancy came after 7 months of trying and using an ovulation fertility monitor.  It was off to a fantastic start.  I experienced all of the early pregnancy symptoms, each day reminding me of my new found excitement, pregnancy and becoming a mother.  When I woke up and started bleeding, I knew something was wrong.  I always trust my instincts; however, the blood tests were great and showed my beta levels rising.  My OB didn’t prescribe a sono until 4 days later, only because the bleeding continued.  I already knew what the sono would confirm, that there was a gestational sac and yolk, sac, but no fetal growth.  I had a D&C at 7 weeks, 3 days.  Tissue tests came back inconclusive.    
After our 1st loss, my husband and I decided that we would give it our all, to start a family.  After 5 long months, we took the next step and scheduled a consult with a Reproductive Endocrinologist at a top notch Long Island clinic.  Without much investigation or testing, I now had a DR in charge of my fertility, who prescribed the well known fertility drug, Clomid. We did two cycles of IUIs and I was pregnant again.  “Cautiously optimistic “were the Dr.’s words.  My beta again was great but fetal development was slow to grow.  I began naturally miscarrying at 6 weeks.  One of the most physically painful experiences of my life is where natural miscarriage is listed in my book.  If I let myself, I can recall the intense back pain, horrible contractions, cramping and bleeding.  It was beyond terrifying and I hope to keep those feelings safely tucked away.  I was given no explanation for this miscarriage, just that “miscarriage is common.” 

[Read more…]


Mom to Solomon
Born and Died on March 8th, 2000
and Z, Miscarried October 23rd, 2000
Oceanside, New York
Solomon was the name I gave my son, it means “peace.”   Solomon I chose, by myself, as my husband could not deal with the loss.  In retrospect I couldn’t either.  But when we learned he in fact was a he, I did what I always do – I searched on the Internet to find a name suitable for the son I would never have.

[Read more…]


Mom to Angel Baby
Miscarried September 13th, 2010 at 13 weeks
Rochester, NY
We lost our precious baby on September 13, 2010. I was exactly 13 weeks pregnant. It was a Monday. It was 2pm. There was no heartbeat.  Life will never be the same. I haven’t yet been able to go more than an hour without crying, regardless of where I am; home, restaurant, church, doesn’t matter. There’s never a shortage of tears. There’s never a shortage of sadness. I loved that baby, I love that baby. I would have easily and without question given my life so that my baby could live. If only I’d had the option.

[Read more…]


1st Angel- December 3rd, 2008 (Our Pre-Wedding Surprise)
2nd Angel- May 20th, 2009 (Our Honeymoom Angel)
3rd  Angel- October 2009 (OOPS Angel)

[Read more…]


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