Mom to Averie

Born and Died February 12, 2015

Calcium, New York

Up until reaching 33 weeks, my pregnancy had been great. Super easy with very little to no symptoms. I never had morning sickness with her and the heartburn everyone talks about? I was never lucky enough to experience that either. On February 11th, I started noticing strange discharge when I went to the bathroom. It didn’t look normal and at first I thought it was my mucus plug. I researched everything I could find on the internet, which of course is a always a bad idea. I decided it was best to go to the doctor just in case. I called the doctor’s office and they suggested I come in to just make sure that it wasn’t signs of pre-term labor.
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Mommy to Messiah
Buffalo, NY

About four and a half months ago [at time of writing] at 18 weeks I lost my son due to an infection called chorioamnionitis. I was told at one of my pre natal appointments I had the group b strep bacteria in my vagina, but they could not give me anything until I was in labor. About a month after I had my miscarriage, the doctor told me the infection is what caused my water to break early. The group b strep is what caused the chorioamnionitis. Finding out the physical cause of why I lost my son helped a little. The doctor described the probability of the infection as ‘bad luck’ and ‘ rare’. [Read more…]


my picture 2



Mom to Nathaniel Edward

May 10, 2015

Brooklyn, New York


May 9th was the worst day of my life. I go over that day, the ones that precede it and the ones to follow in my head again and again. Even six weeks after, there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about those days. Each time, I go through trying to save my son over and over, only to realize that I can’t and he isn’t coming back to me. [Read more…]


Mom to Elena and Baby

March 19, 2015 and July 8, 2015

Lake Grove, New York

After just about 6 months of fertility treatments, I was fortunate enough to get pregnant with my daughter with my first IVF cycle in 2011. After threatened miscarriage and third trimester high blood pressure, my beautiful girl was born perfect in July 2012.

We had one snow baby left from that cycle, so I waited until our daughter turned two to start trying again.  This time, getting pregnant became even more difficult.  After the first two FET cycles were cancelled due to poor lining and polyps, I had a D&C and gave myself the holidays off to recover.  In January 2015, I had a successful transfer and got my positive pregnancy test in February 2015.  The numbers were low to start (HCG was 30), but they rose at a steady rate and from the time I saw the first heartbeat, I was in love.  I slowly began to believe I was lucky enough to get pregnant 2x in a row via IVF with no further complications.  My husband and I told all of our close family and friends and by week 8, we began to tell our jobs.  I have the apps in my phone to follow the development of the pregnancy and spent my nights before bed dreaming that my family would soon be complete.  I couldn’t wait for October 24, 2015.

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Mom to Alana

Stillborn October 4, 2013

Katonah, New York

Alana Marie Banerjee was born on October 4th, 2013 at 2:21 a.m. – 6 lbs 8 oz of pure joy for me and her father. At 20 inches long, she was a tall baby, with long skinny legs, slender fingers with perfect miniature nails, and big soft feet with all the requisite toes. She had her father’s nose and ears and eyelashes, my lips and eyebrows, the softest skin I’ve ever felt, and a full head of silky black hair. There was only one thing wrong with this storybook ending; following nine months of a perfectly healthy and blissful pregnancy, our daughter was born dead.

Alana died at 39 weeks 5 days, just two days short of her due date.  Up until the moment the nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat, she’d been healthy and strong.  The doctors had called her fetal monitor read-outs “textbook.”  She’d been active and lively, rolling around in my belly, suffering adorable bouts of in-utero hiccups (often more than once a day) for weeks.  She’d passed every prenatal test with flying colors.  There was never a cause for concern – never a single warning sign.  Until, all of a sudden, she was gone.

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paint 3Shannon

Mom to Chase and Cayden

December 22, 2012

Brooklyn, New York

At 20 weeks, December 22, 2012, I lost my twin boys. Two days prior to going into preterm labor, I noticed a nickel-sized discharge with a speck of pink in it. I called my doctor and he let me know that if I saw more blood throughout the day to go to L&D. I knew in my heart that something was not right. I went to L&D that day and was given a pelvic exam, set up on monitors and assured that nothing was wrong and was sent home. Less than 48 hours later, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. to severe lower back pain and 5 bowel movements in 2 hours. My husband and I rushed to the hospital. I noticed that my pain was every 1-2 minutes and that it was probably contractions.

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Mom to Isabelle Skye

Stillborn February 13, 2013

Schenectady, New York

To make a long story short, I had finally conceived after 2 years of trying and was so happy, but it sadly ended in miscarriage faster than I ever imagined. I literally found out I was pregnant and lost the baby a week later. It was devastating for me . Thankfully, my husband was by my side the whole time and was very supportive. After that, we gave TTC a little break as I could not handle it emotionally. After a few months, we decided to go ahead and keep trying and two more years later, nothing still. I was starting to get discouraged and bummed out. Also my cycles started to become a little off and I would skip a month here and there, or sometimes two. Well, in September we really put all effort into this baby-making thing and we tried every day. I was drinking some herbal teas to enhance fertility and really just trying to not have any stress.

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Mom to Baby Mamott

Lost September 22, 2012

Buffalo, New York

I delivered my 16 week old baby on 9-22-12. I sit here in my bed, in pain, feeling like I’m suffocating…wondering how this could happen to me.

I worked so hard for this baby. Being a mother has been my only dream. I finally met the man of my dreams later in life, and we started to work on building a family. I’m 36 and after 6 months of trying to conceive, I went to a fertility specialist, only to learn that I wasn’t ovulating. We found the cure, but it took several months of going through painful procedures and treatments, including hormone injections. My dream finally came true! I was pregnant. ME! Good ol’ pregnant me! [Read more…]


Mom to Lara Taina

Born still May 19, 1996

Bronx, New York

Today is May 19, 2012.  Sixteen years ago (1996), I delivered my Lara Taina.  Sadly, she was still born due to umbilical strangulation.  She would have been 16 years old today. [Read more…]


Mom to Angel “SweetPea”

December 18, 2008

Williamson, New York

Well, in September 2008 my hubs and I decided to TTC baby #4. I usually get pregnant very quickly but we didn’t get a BFP until December 4, 2008, when I realized I was 4 days late.

We told everyone because I had 3 normal healthy pregnancies with our other 3 sons and didn’t think this pregnancy would be any different. [Read more…]


Mom to Baby Angel

Lost March 27, 2012 at 9 weeks

Watertown, New York

I found out I was pregnant with my second child on February 9, 2012. I had wanted to have another child for a while now; my daughter will be turning 4 at the end of April so it had been a year or two since I wanted to try. I do a daycare in my house. I’m around kids all day I just love them and wanted my child to have a brother or sister. [Read more…]


Mom to an Angel, who left me October 28, 2010


James Ethan, who we said goodbye to on January 11, 2012

Holland Patent, New York

My journey began 2 years ago when I first held the positive pregnancy test. [Read more…]


Missed miscarriage at 12 weeks in December 2010,
Blighted ovum at 7 weeks in April 2011,
and missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in September 2011

Near Albany, New York

The story of my first missed miscarriage is here: Since that time, I’ve had two additional losses.

I found myself pregnant again at the end of March 2011. I had betas drawn, and it didn’t look good. It was a 133 hour doubling time, when it should have been 24-48 hours. I went in for my first ultrasound at 6.5 weeks and only saw an empty sac. They tried to reassure me that it was in the right place, to give it time, but I started bleeding a few days later. Follow-up ultrasound and betas confirmed a completed natural miscarriage. It had been a blighted ovum. [Read more…]


Mom to Victoria Joy

Born December 28th, 2009 at 36w 1d, survived only about 2 hours

Bronx, NY 

I was 12 weeks when I had my first sonogram appointment. Most people go to their first appointment excited, not imagining something may be wrong with their baby.  The technician pretty much immediately found something wrong with my baby, specifically the tummy.  They measured the nuchal fold and everything else which looked fine.  They weren’t sure if it was omphalocele or gastroschisis.  They explained the difference and that they would be sending me for more tests and ultrasounds, etc.  I was devastated that something was wrong with my little girl.  I was the last patient to leave the office and I just didn’t know what to do but cry.

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Mom to Caleb James Hiltz

July 29, 2011 – September 21, 2011

Buffalo, New York

My husband and I have been together since our early 20’s and we got married just one year ago on 11/12/2010. We were so excited to start our family, which was the natural progression after getting married.  So you can imagine my surprise on 3/4/2011 when I got a positive pregnancy test, or two.. Since I did not believe it either.  [Read more…]


Mom to Beatrix Elizabeth

December 13th, 2010

2:05 a.m. – 3:50 a.m.

Upstate New York

My name is Sarah, and my daughter, Beatrix Elizabeth was born on December 13, 2010. She lived for almost two hours after she was born, and was so very beautiful. I miss her so. [Read more…]


Mom to angel baby Emily Rose

Early Miscarriage, August 17th, 2011

Syracuse, New York

I am Monica.  I’m 28 and had been on the pill for about 12-ish years.  I recently married Kevin, the love of my life, on May 28 and I stopped taking the pill as soon as we came back from our honeymoon.  We had talked about having children for a long time and were anxious to start our family.  I was really surprised (that it happened so fast) and super excited to see what I thought was a positive pregnancy test on 8/10/11… I was so nervous that I bought a digital test on 8/11/11… “PREGNANT”… there was no questioning that… and I was thrilled!  My husband was so excited! [Read more…]

Annie McKenney

Mom to two Angels

Brewster NY


My name is Annie McKenney and I live in Brewster NY. I am 37 years old and I love being a mom. [Read more…]


Losses on December 31, 2006

January 20, 2009

October 20, 2009

December 23, 2009

July 12, 2010

April 2011

Cohoes, NY

My name is Samantha and I am a 33 year old woman who has had one live birth and has suffered 6 miscarriages.  My husband and I were married in August of 2006 and decided we wanted to try and have children right away.  We found out in November that were pregnant and were so excited.  We decided to tell our families right away.  They were all so excited, as were we.  We had no idea what to expect, but things were going well.  I started having some spotting just after Christmas, and was very scared by what was going on.  I went to the ER with my husband and they said that it did not look good.  By now I was having heavy bleeding and spotting.  I ended up miscarrying our first child at 7 weeks.  It was December 31, 2006.  Sadly as I was in one hospital miscarrying, my niece was being born in another.   [Read more…]


Mom to Annalyse & “My Little Boy”

Born and Died April 24th, 2011

Forest Hills, New York

My children are no longer with me and I miss them, every moment of every day, I miss them.  I ache for them with a deep, soul, ache that cannot be captured in words, or explained.  My arms feel the weight of their emptiness.  My heart feels the emptiness of this wait. [Read more…]

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