Putting a face on miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss
Erica
Mom to Hudson Ruth
July 11-July 14, 2012
Walla Walla, Washington
It is hard to believe that the best days of your life can be the worst days of your life.
The best days of my life were the three days that I got to be a mommy to Hudson Ruth Walter. [Read more...]
Jessica
Mom to Makayla Lynn
August 17, 2012 – August 21, 2012
Wichita, Kansas
It all started when I was visiting family in Oklahoma. My husband and I were trying for another baby after our miscarriage in Nov. 2011. I was feeling off and just feeling pregnant, so I went to the store and got a test. On March 26th, 2012 I got those 2 beautiful pink lines! It was midnight when I tested and because my husband works all over for an oil company, I texted him the picture saying, “We did it!!” I was so nervous yet so happy! So excited! As soon as the 12 week mark passed I thought I was in the clear. I didn’t know how wrong I was. [Read more...]
Megan
Mom to Byron Matthew
Born and died at 20 weeks on October 10, 2008,
Early miscarriage, June 5, 2009,
and
Isabella Madison
Stillborn at 16 weeks on December 6, 2009.
Jacksonville, North Carolina
Whenever I thought about having children, I never imagined anything bad, scary, traumatic. You see so many women have normal, healthy pregnancies where nothing ever goes wrong and it just never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be one of those “normal” women. Never in one million years would I have imagined that I would be where I am today.
I remember finding out I was pregnant for the first time like it was yesterday. I was 20 years old and had been married to my husband for almost one year. My hand was shaking so hard I could barely show him the test results. I was nervous, excited, scared…so many different emotions all at the same time. I had my first ultrasound when I was 9 weeks pregnant. I cried as soon as I saw my little baby and heard his heart beat. It was such an amazing thing to me to see this life that I had created. That moment was something I could never really find the words to explain. [Read more...]
Lisa
Mom to Maddox Ford
November 7, 2011 – December 26, 2011
Plainfield, Illinois
I found out I was pregnant with Maddox Ford May 20, 2011. It was a Friday and I was at work. I was so excited about being a mom and my family was, too…finally, grandkids! The first ultrasound and every doctor’s appointment I grew more and more anxious and fell more and more in love with my child I hadn’t even met yet. My pregnancy was easy, no morning sickness, no issues. I was a healthy 26-year old with a whole new world in front of me. I didn’t get any of the genetic tests done, or any of the other tests done, because I was a low risk pregnancy. Once the first trimester passed, I thought like everyone else thinks, I’m in the clear. It never really occurred to me that something might actually happen to my baby. [Read more...]
Jimmy and Sherri
Dad and Mom to Andrew and James
Born June 10, 2011, and passed the same day
Tucson, Arizona
We delivered our sons just over 22 weeks gestation. Andy’s heart stopped just prior to delivery. Fifteen minutes later, Jimmy was delivered and died several minutes after in our arms desperately trying to breathe on his own. [Read more...]
RaeAnne
Mom to Samuel Evan
Born and died April 14, 2012
North Mankato, Minnesota
After only a few months of trying, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first baby in September of 2011. We were overjoyed! We started preparing for him as soon as we knew he was there. We loved him so much and wanted him more than anything. [Read more...]
Stacey
Mom to Dylan Jeffery
September 24, 2008 – September 26, 2008
Florida
On Mother’s Day of 2008, Travis and I found out I was pregnant. We were so happy, but yet I was so scared…my pregnancy came in the middle of my fiancé and me planning our wedding. I had a very hard pregnancy and I really wanted a little girl. Everyone told me I was going to have a little boy and I just refused to believe it. From the beginning, I was high risk and I couldn’t even find a doctor that was willing to take me, without insurance. See, when I was 14 I was diagnosed a vascular disorder; my blood was not pumping to my heart correctly. A surgery was performed and the doctors took my main vein out. That led me to being automatically high risk. I ended up having to go to the health department for a checkup in the beginning of June. [Read more...]
Joy
Mom to Westly Storm
Born May 23, 2011 and died May 25, 2011
and
Baby lost November 3, 2011 at 12 weeks
Portland, Oregon
We had waited years before trying. We wanted to be as “ready” as two people can be. We had been together 8 years and married 4, graduated college, got dogs and had bought a house when we got pregnant with our baby son Westley. We decided early on to name him in part after the character in The Princess Bride…we wanted to give all our love and attention in hopes that are son would be honest, brave, and loving and share in our happiness. [Read more...]
Andrea
Mom to Jeremiah D’Andre
Born May 12, 2012 and died May 15, 2012
Miami, Florida
I don’t even know how to start my story…it just brings tears to my eyes, but in a good way. I think it is good to tell my story.
My name is Andrea. This was my second pregnancy. My first pregnancy was great with no complications at all, with a healthy little boy who is turning 7 years old. When I found out I was pregnant with my second, it was around November 2012. I was excited and surprised that I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned, but I had already fallen in love with the little person growing inside of me. Something told me that it was going to be a boy, and before I even knew that I was pregnant I already had his name planned out (since2010). I chose from the Bible Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations,” and I chose Jeremiah. [Read more...]
Lisa
Mom to Finley
Born March 23, 2012 and died March 26, 2012
in Naples, Italy
From Canada, but currently lives in
Winchester, England
My husband and I were married in July 2011 and 2 days later we moved to Italy on a military posting. About 2 weeks after being in Italy is when we found out we were expecting.
There is a British midwife who helps with the care there, but my care was mostly done in an American naval hospital, which is where I would deliver.
I had early scans at 7 and 9 weeks, then the regular scans at 12 and 20 weeks. We had the detailed scans at a private clinic in Naples, as the American hospital did not have machines that would scan in enough detail. At the 20 week scan, it was observed that there was high blood pressure in one of the arteries in the cord, which was giving reduced blood flow to our son. The American doctor was not overly concerned by this. We were told he would likely be small though. I was also told I would be closely monitored and that if at any point they were concerned, I would deliver in an Italian hospital, as they don’t have the facilities to deal with high risk situations in the American one. I went on to have more scans at 24, 28, and 32 weeks. By 32 weeks, although Finley was small (approx. 25th percentile), the pressure problem had corrected itself and they were happy with the consistency of his growth. I was put as low risk. [Read more...]
Karen
Mom to Logan James
Born December 7, 2008 and died December 9, 2008
and
An angel lost September 29, 2011
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
I’d like to share my story because I feel that it is a very unique situation. I’ve kept the loss very private and close to my heart and have only been sharing my feelings with family and close friends. But recently, I’ve felt the need to go online and read about other mom’s stories and struggles through their journeys of loss.
It’s comforting to know that I am not alone and there are others out there who know EXACTLY how I feel. I think the people in our everyday lives can be supportive, but only to a certain point. The loss of our children, whether still in our womb or newly born needs a special kind of support that only us moms can provide. And the everyday struggles we endure as we watch other mothers who have not had to endure our pain. [Read more...]
Eva
Mom to Brianna
Born and died July 8, 2010
Toa Baja, Puerto Rico
I discovered I was pregnant on Christmas Eve 2009. I saw a very faint second line on the pregnancy test. I then confirmed it on Christmas Day. It was the best gift ever. Having had a blighted ovum two years before, I considered her my rainbow baby and we were happy to have been blessed again.
I always wanted to have a girl. Really wanted a girl. With my first pregnancy I had a boy. A wonderful, magnificent, perfect little boy without whom I couldn’t imagine my days. And this being my last child, I definitely wanted a girl. From the beginning, I felt the baby was a girl. Mother’s instinct, I guess. We officially found out she was indeed a girl on March 26, 2010. I was soooo happy. It was amazing. I couldn’t believe God was blessing me not only with my beloved boy, but with the girl I always wanted. Life was good. [Read more...]
Melissa
Mom to Kristiana
Born and died April 27, 2010
Lynn, Massachusettes
I found out I was pregnant in late August 2009 right after my 27th birthday. I thought it was the best birthday present anyone could ever give me. Being a mother was all I ever wanted. My pregnancy seemed normal until February 24, 2010. I was 27 weeks pregnant and went for what I thought was a routine ultrasound. I brought my Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, and my daughter’s Godmother to this appointment. The ultrasound tech asked my family to leave and told me a doctor would be in to see me. [Read more...]
Tiyama
Mom to Azriel Aiden
Born and died April 14, 2012
Sacramento, California
My husband and I always wanted to be parents. We spent hours talking on the phone early in our relationship discussing how many we wanted, discipline, names. We were blessed with 3 beautiful boys, but they weren’t without their unique and stressful/scary entrances. My last 2 were IC (incompetent cervix) issues. When DH and I talked about #4, we were excited, this would be our first planned pregnancy, determined to make this one much smoother and make it to term again, I had done it once with my oldest and just barely with my second. We tried for just over a year, and felt something wasn’t right. We both got checked out, I was just fine but DH not so much, he had secondary infertility. We couldn’t believe it, it would take IVF with ICSI to have another child. DH did not want to do that but felt terrible because I could get pregnant and his refusal meant I wouldn’t. A few nights later, DH brought up a subject we had talked about in passing years ago, sperm donation. We kept talking and decided to look into it to see if it was something we really wanted to explore. We were delighted to not only have found a donor website that we felt safe about but a donor that lived about an hour away. I got in touch with him and we exchanged emails, talked on the phone and felt we were all compatible. Four cycles/donations later, we found out we were pregnant a few days before Christmas 2011. Best gift ever! 
[Read more...]
Katariina
Mom to Evelyn May
Born April 29, 2012 and died June 6, 2012
Las Vegas, Nevada
I am writing this exactly 3 weeks after my precious little girl passed away in my arms.
It all started December 21st, 2011, when we found out we were expecting. I went to the store off of a hunch that I was pregnant (despite being on the birth control pill for over 2 years) and bought 2 pregnancy tests. I knew deep down that one positive test would not convince me. As soon as I got home, I took the one, positive, and then the other, also positive. I was shocked! To unexpectedly have a baby is a scary and exciting feeling wrapped into one anxious, live-changing moment. I called my boyfriend into the bathroom and fell to my knees crying. The fear that he would be upset was in my heart, but to my surprise, he picked me up and held me. I said to him, “What are we going to do…?” He replied with a smile, “We’re going to have a baby, that’s what we’re going to do.” I went telling my whole family about the change in our lives. I even took a third pregnancy test that night to be EXTRA sure. [Read more...]
Jill
Mom to Ethan Corbett
Born and died March 14, 2012
Pawtucket, Rhode Island
I found out I was pregnant on November 7th 2011, I woke up with a strange urge to take a pregnancy test even though I wasn’t expecting my period for another two days, when the test came out positive, I was so happy and spent the rest of the day peeking at the test to make sure there were still two lines. My boyfriend and I were beyond happy, we had our beautiful daughter and now we would be expecting a new addition to our happy little family. My due date was July 16th. The pregnancy was great, no problems other than a little morning sickness and some heartburn. The whole entire pregnancy I thanked God for giving me the gift of another baby, my daughter is so loved by us and so many others, I knew this baby would be just the same. When we told everyone we were expecting again, we received so much love and support everyone was so excited to meet our new baby, he was going to be the first boy in the family! We made it past the “3 month” mark and I took a breath of relief, the time you have to “worry about” had passed and everything was great. We were so happy. [Read more...]
Kelly
Mom to Faith Elizabeth and Grace Katherine
Stillborn November 3, 1996 at 26 weeks’ gestation
and
Thomas Patrick
Born and died July 14, 1998
Ohio
Tim and I were married in March of 1994. We had a son, Timothy. Two years into our marriage, I was expecting again…and there were many surprises…First of all, everything was different with this pregnancy…there was more fatigue, more nausea, more belly, and more “stretching pains”. At our first ultrasound appointment around 6-8 weeks, the doctor confirmed, after a series of disconcerting “Hmmmms…” that we were expecting TWINS. I had a slight panic attack on the table, immediately overwhelmed with all the additional concerns and possible complications that could come with a twin pregnancy. Tim’s twenty-year-old face was covered in shock, bewilderment, and stunned excitement. I staggered my way off the examining table, and once safely behind the curtain, I began to change out of the napkin gown we ladies wear at the OB, and the fears started to emerge in the form of tears, which gave way to sobs. [Read more...]
Jessica
Mom to Owen Innes Tolerba
Born still March 6, 2012
and
Payton Innes Tolerba
Born March 6, 2012 and died March 9, 2012
San Jose, California
My pregnancy with my twins began in September 2011. We found out we were having twins. I was so excited because I am a twin myself. However, I had no idea how completed twin pregnancies could be. We found out they were “monoamniotic-monochorionic” or single placenta, single amniotic sac. This meant that both twins were in one sac and their umbilical cords were at a high risk of becoming entangled. Only 1% of all identical twins are mono-mono twins. This means the embryo split later than with most identical twins (around day 6-8). This made me nervous as I had read only50-60% of mono-mono twins survive. However, I decided to continue thinking it would be o.k. [Read more...]
Brande
Mom to Jayden Dayne
Born and passed April 29, 2004
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
My husband, Jason, and I found out we were expecting our first child after only 2 years of marriage. We both loved kids and couldn’t have been more excited!
My first trimester was a nightmare. I couldn’t keep anything down, not even water. I went into the ER for dehydration, lost 25 lbs in two weeks, and Jason had to carry me to and from the bathroom to bathe me. Through multiple doctors visits, baby seemed just fine. At exactly 12 weeks, the first trimester sickness left as quickly as it came on. I started eating everything in sight! Haha! It took me two weeks to regain strength enough to walk on my own. Having never been through this before, I assumed this was normal. I found out years later this was not. [Read more...]
Shan-Nel
Mom to Ashley Antoinette
Born and died April 22, 2011
Rosedale, Maryland
It was St. Patrick’s Day, March 17, 2011 when I went to the hospital from getting the WORST pain in my life to find out after the hospital nurses took samples that I was pregnant.
I was so shocked and thrilled at the same time. How was I pregnant for so long and not really know? I’m pregnant?! Yay! Wow! [Read more...]
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