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Jolinda

Mom to Talaofa and Two Siblings

October 3, 2016, April 2016, November 2014

Honolulu, Hawaii

November 2014 I just reached 19 weeks. That very same day I had contractions and went to the ER. When I got there my water broke and I began bleeding a lot. The doctor told me my baby could no longer survive without the water bag to protect it and that I had to have surgery to terminate the pregnancy due to the fact that I had a vertical cut on my uterus with my previous preemie baby ( my miracle child), and vaginal delivery would rupture my uterus. I never got to find out the gender nor did I get to name that baby.

April 2016 4 months into 3rd pregnancy, I had a miscarriage.

October 2, 2016 [I was pregnant for the fourth time]. At 19 weeks and 4 days, contractions started and I went to the hospital immediately. The plan was to do a rescue cerclage if my contractions didn’t continue the rest of the night. The next day my hopes were shot and my contractions kept coming and I was 1 cm dilated. At 11:35 a.m. I gave birth to my son. It was too late to do a surgery, so we took our chances with a vaginal delivery and it all went well except for the fact that I lost my son at 12:35 p.m. When he was born the doctors asked me if I wanted to hold him or if I wanted them to take him away. I wanted to hold him, love him, and pray for him while we still had the time to spend with him.

My husband couldn’t handle to cut his umbilical cord, and didn’t want to hold him but I made him hold our angel baby. I knew he would regret not being able to hold him while he was still alive, and I’m glad I made him hold our baby. He died in his daddy/s arms, and I took him back to hold him. I placed him on my chest and kept singing a song I’d always make him listen to while he was in my tummy, hoping and praying for some sort of miracle. Tons of questions [are] going on in my head. Why me? Is it me?  What could I have done differently? Where is God when we need him the most? Why is he ignoring me and my prayers? October 14th we buried our angel baby in a cemetery called Baby Land. My mother-in-law had our bishop come over to give me a comfort blessing and all it did was help me sleep better at night. It wasn’t until October 28th that I finally let go of all the emotions I was holding in, stress and frustration triggered it all.

I went church Sunday and the talk helped me a lot. They talked about how we never understand why God works the way He does, but we have to trust that there is a blessing that will come out of it. He puts us through hardships to prepare us for whatever He has planned for us in the near future. He doesn’t let us go through heartbreaks without giving us a blessing out of it. I’m still waiting for redemption, but for now, I’m okay. For now, I’m focusing on me, letting my body heal physically emotionally, and mentally. Our babies were just too beautiful for Earth, and although they did not get to experience this painful yet magical place we call Earth, I like to believe they are in a much better, peaceful place. My favorite quote, “The road isn’t paved with perfection, don’t get lost in the journey, let the struggle help you discover who you really are.” May our angels babies rest in love. Never forgotten. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/11/8372.html

Melissa FOL

Melissa

Mom to Six Angels

April 1997, December 1997, August 2000, March 2001, November 2001, April 2003

Pennsylvania

My name is Melissa and I have six beautiful angels in Heaven. I never dreamed I would suffer so much heartache. When you suffer a miscarriage during your first pregnancy you hear, “It’s common, try again. It just wasn’t meant to be.” You really don’t think much about it. Yes, it was heartbreaking but knowing it was so common, I still felt positive and hopeful. Then when I got pregnant a second time and miscarried again, we were told we could send it off for testing to see if there was a reason. So we did. When we received the results back, they stressed nothing was definite without further genetic testing; it could have been a fluke so don’t stress.

My first pregnancy, I lost the baby naturally. I started spotting at 8 weeks. When we went to the ER, there was no heartbeat, so I was sent home to let nature takes its course and miscarry. Our second pregnancy, I was 10-11 weeks when we had an ultrasound and saw that the embryo stopped developing at 7 weeks but my body did not miscarry it. So, I was wheeled into the OR for my first D&C. We know from the testing that we lost a little girl. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7956.html

Unknown

Nikki

Mother to Raylee Nichole, and three other babies in Heaven.

Baby one lost at 6 weeks in January 2007.

Baby two lost at 7 weeks in April 2007.

Baby three lost at 11 weeks in October 2008.

Raylee Nichole born August 6 2015 at 16 weeks and 5 days

West Lafayette, Indiana

My name is Nikki and I have four beautiful angels in heaven. It all started in 2007 when my period hadn’t come on its regularly scheduled day. Growing up my periods have never been quite “normal”. I was young and didn’t think anything about it. I figured it could have been due to stress or something and surely I would start soon. I began to bleed about 3 weeks after my estimated start day. I just assumed it was my period finally coming. But as the days went on the cramping got pretty intense and I was passing pretty large blood clots. I got nervous and went to the emergency room. Regular protocol is to take a urine pregnancy test. It came back positive. Holy cow, I was pregnant.

[Read more…]

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http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7925.html

Heather

Heather 

Mom to Angel Baby and Angel Girl Baby

April 8, 2015 and August 6, 2015

Oconomowoc, Wisconsin

On March 7th, I took a home pregnancy test. This wasn’t my first test ever, but it was the first one that was positive. Scott and I had decided in December, when my birth control pills ran out that I wouldn’t renew them, however, we weren’t “trying.” We figured since I had been on the pill since my freshman year of high school it was going to take a while. Like a year. Well, we were wrong.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/10/7913.html

33417_1558264915433_6671174_nMargarita

Mommy to Baby Girl Eva born still on September 29, 2006 and
Baby Boy Elijiah on November 30, 2012

Anza, California

My name is Margarita. I was born and raised in the Ukraine. I moved to CA when I was 17 so I could go to a college here. When I was 21, I met my future husband, that I’m still over the hill in love with. We got married one year after we met each other. Six months later, we found out that we were expecting our first child. We were beyond happy and could not wait to meet our baby. We found out that it was a girl. I already had a name for her that I had in my mind for years and years… Eva! I had an easy, without any complications pregnancy.

My family and friends had a beautiful baby shower for me, where we got tons of pretty pink stuff, and we just put the crib together in our bedroom. On the September 28th, I had my regular check-up appointment. That day I felt weird and I felt like I haven’t felt the baby move. After my husband got home, we went to see our OB and that’s when they confirmed that there was no heartbeat. I was a little over 35 weeks of pregnancy. I remember how heartbroken we were, how confused, but yet we trusted our God. That night we went to the hospital and I was induced into labor. Baby Eva was born silent the next day. We got to hold her, share her with family and friends and take some pictures of her beautiful little face. We end up doing an autopsy, because there were no reasons of her death that we could see. The tests showed us that she had a genetic disorder. My husband and I got tested too, the results came back normal. So, we got an ok from our OB to start trying for another baby.

We got pregnant 3 months after our loss with Eva. We end up having a healthy little boy that was born at 36 weeks of pregnancy, who is 5 years old now [at time of writing]. When he was 9 months old, I got pregnant again with our next son, who is also healthy and was born at 37 weeks of my pregnancy.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7270.html

Faces of LossKrystal

Mother to Conner Timothy & Benjamin Michael

Born and lost on January 10, 2014

Illinois

I look at pictures of myself while I was pregnant, just a short 5 months ago [at time of writing]. I can’t help but think that I was so young back then; I have hardly aged since the pictures were last taken, but my heart now bears the weight of what seems like a million losses. It took nearly two years for my husband and I to get pregnant. Our babies were the fruition of the emotional and physical turmoil of IVF, and they were taken from us.  And yet, they were worth every single second of despair and frustration.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6972.html

linkedinTara

Mom to McGown Triplets & Orion Michael McGown

March 2012 & November 10, 2012

Green Bay, Wisconsin

I met my husband in the fall of 2008. We were married in December of 2010 and started trying to have our family immediately. After 7 or 8 months of trying the “old fashioned” way without success, we visited a fertility clinic. We both went through the typical testing, and they could not find anything wrong. Since I was 36 at that time and considered advanced maternal age, we knew we wanted to take an aggressive approach. Our doctor felt IUI would be a good solution for us and they suspected that we weren’t getting pregnant on our own because of a LEEP procedure I had in early 2007.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6916.html

unnamed

Kayla

Mom to Jaylen and Quincy

Born/Passed June 17, 2008

Mom to Payton Ann

Born/Passed August 27, 2011

It all started June 17, 2008. I was about six months pregnant with twin boys. I noticed some bleeding which is of course a red flag in pregnancy. I immediately called my doctor who told me to come in so he could give me an examination. I raced over to the office upset and thinking the worst. He started by doing an ultrasound. I watched the screen intently and saw both little guys moving around. “Yes, they are ok,” I thought to myself.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6577.html

Kendall

Mom to “Baby B”
November 15, 2012

and

“Angel Baby”
April 19, 2013

Indiana

My life changed forever the moment I saw those two pink lines. My life changed forever again 7 weeks later when we found out that our first child had no heartbeat. I can honestly say that it was the worst day of my life so far. I hope that sharing my story can give people an honest look into miscarriage and can help someone else who is going through their own loss. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2014/03/6323.html

Tabitha

Mom to three angels
June 23, 2006
February 1, 2007
April 15, 2011

 and

Wesley
Born sleeping December 4, 2012

Portsmouth, Ohio

My husband(34) and I(32) will be married for 10 years on April 17, 2014. The following month(May) we will also approach the 10th year of trying to conceive our first child.

My story and our journey through losses starts back when I was diagnosed with PCOS(Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome at the age of 14. When diagnosed, I was told that it would be difficult if not completely impossible for me to have children. It scared me to death because I have always wanted to be a mother and always thought I would have a big family. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2014/03/6307.html

Hillary

Mom to Sierra Dawn
February 15, 2010

and

Sidney Alexander
Jaimie Quinn
Maxx Tristan
Riley Jordan

Sylvan Lake, Alberta Canada

My husband and I were married September 19, 2009, and we were elated to find out that we were pregnant 2 short months after marriage. I was horribly sick with morning sickness, but I didn’t care; I was going to be a mother. At a routine Doctor’s appointment, my Doctor tried to find the heartbeat, he couldn’t, so just in case, he sent us to get an ultrasound at the local hospital. He said there’s nothing to worry about, it’s just routine. I was excited that I was able to see my baby on the big screen earlier than expected. When we arrived, and got the ultrasound done, the nurse could not hide her concern. I knew something was wrong, and she wouldn’t tell me. An hour later, our Doctor called, and told us our baby had a mass in her abdomen, and they didn’t know what it was. She was also much smaller than she should be for how far along I was. They sent us down to the hospital in Victoria, and the nurse there hid her emotions well. She showed us our baby, her head, her feet, her face. Then she left, and the Doctor came in. And he said those horrible words. I can still hear them ringing in my ears; “I’m sorry. Your baby has died.” [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2014/03/6286.html

Bethany

Three ectopic pregnancies:

January 8, 2009 (9 weeks),

January 8, 2010 (5 weeks),

and

December 13, 2011 (5w5d with a heartbeat)

Mercersburg, Pennsylvania

My name is Bethany Anderson. My husband and I live in a small rural community in Pennsylvania called Mercersburg. I am twenty-two years-old and my husband, Thomas, is twenty-eight. Thomas and I have been together for almost 5 years and we were married in August of 2011. We have a dog, which is like my child, Chino Taco Anderson. My husband has a son, named Cadon, who is now 6 years old. Although I wish he would be with us every single day, he lives with his mother and we don’t get to see him as often as we’d like. We were told the only way for us to conceive after our extremely difficult losses, was through in-vitro fertilization.   This is our infertility story. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6143.html

Samantha

Mom to nine lost children:

#1 Oct 2007: Miscarriage at 6 weeks,
#2 Aug 2008: Miscarriage at 5 weeks,
#3 June 2011: Twin loss at 8 weeks,
#4 Aug 2011: Miscarriage at 5 weeks,
#5 Oct 2011: Miscarriage at 4 week 2 days,
#6 Feb 2012: Miscarriage at 4 weeks,
#7 March 2012: Miscarriage at 4 weeks 3 days,

and

#8 April 2012: Miscarriage of a little boy at 8 weeks
Ended with D&C on June 6, 2012

North Vernon, Indiana

I was one of those girls who wanted a large family with a home of my own and a fantastic husband. Well, I got part of my wish: I have my husband Troy and an amazing little boy, Kyle, who we love so much. Beginning our family did not start out so easily, though. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6138.html

John and Nathasha

Parents to Baby 1
EDD October 23, 2012, lost April 5, 2012

and

Baby girls 2 & 3
EDD March 26, 2012, D&C September 18, 2012

Glendale, California

Finding out you’re expecting is probably one of the most exciting things for a couple. My husband, John, and I decided that we would stop trying to prevent and just let nature take its course. Never in a million years would I think I would get pregnant right away.

It’s funny how your body will let you know before a HPT: frequent trips to the bathroom, tender body parts. I just knew something was different. Three tests later a few days before AF was even supposed to start, we had positive results.

Our first baby, what could be more exciting than this? We knew about the 12 week announcement rule, but we had to tell our closest family members and friends about it. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6127.html

Heidi

Mom to Unnamed, lost April 27, 2012
at 4 weeks

and

Jalen Adoniah, lost August 27, 2012
at 7 weeks 4 days

Boonville, North Carolina

As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a mother. When my husband and I got married, we knew we didn’t want to wait long for kids. We decided to wait a year, but were OK with it happening before that. Once we decided to “officially” try for a baby, we were excited, hoping it would happen quickly for us. When it didn’t happen several months later, we began trying different supplements, etc. and grew more and more discouraged. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6086.html

Nicole

Mom to three angels:
Miscarriage #1 October 28, 2011 at 11 weeks 2 days,

Miscarriage #2 June 25, 2012 at 4 weeks 3 days

and

Miscarriage #3 August 24, 2012 at 7 weeks 3 days

Rives Junction, Michigan

It was September 7, 2011 and I remember feeling sick, tired, and emotional.  I told my husband I knew I was pregnant, so when I took the test the next morning I was not shocked to see two pink lines staring back at me.  I tested the next several days and watched the line darken, which was very reassuring.  At the time I was 21 years old, a newlywed, and my first pregnancy had gone so smoothly. I was on Cloud 9, and seeing those two beautiful pink lines meant nothing less to me than bringing a baby home from the hospital in eight or nine months. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6028.html

Tabitha

Mom to Jack
Lost February 26, 2011 at 6 weeks

and

Holly
Discovered no heartbeat May 2, 2011 at 9 weeks 2 days
D&C May 5, 2011

Coweta, Oklahoma

In February I had run out of birth control. After a period didn’t start I took several pregnancy tests before starting a new pack. I kept getting negatives. Well, once my period was over a week late I went and saw my doctor to have her test. I didn’t want to start a new pack of birth control without making sure I wasn’t pregnant. After doing a blood draw and waiting for what felt like forever, my doctor called me in. She showed me the screen, and sure enough I was pregnant. My hCG numbers were extremely low, so she asked me to come back in 2 days for a redraw to make sure they were going up. While it wasn’t a planned pregnancy, I was so excited! Two days later I went back in and my numbers had tripled. I drove home that day feeling so blessed and an overwhelming amount of love for my husband and 9-month old son. We took no time announcing our pregnancy to family. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6016.html

Carrie

Mom to Thing 1
Lost June 21, 2011 at 16 weeks

and

Thing 2
Lost April 16, 2012 at 14 weeks

Melfort, Saskatchewan, Canada

My now-husband, B, works shift work in Alberta. One day in June, 2011, as we were driving down a gravel road, I blurted, “I’m pregnant.” This is the point the truck skidded to a stop and B looked at me. The ‘WTF Did You Say?!??’ look. I explained how I knew and after a dumbfounded silence, he started driving again. We started talking about him leaving a truck up at work, baby furniture, saving money and finding a bigger apartment. We were happy, the baby was flipping around in my belly and we went about our days, not really realizing what was happening in my body. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6006.html

Whittney

Mom to Kennedy Lost August 30, 2012 at 4weeks

and

Madison Lost September 30, 2012 at 4 weeks

Pullman, Washington

I knew I always wanted children; ever since I was a little girl I had envisioned a house full of children running around and playing, full of love and fun. I loved playing with my dolls and playing “mommy”. I always thought I would end up having half a dozen children.

My husband, who I married on May 31, 2009, also wanted children but wanted to wait ‘til he was done with grad school. We planned to wait a few years and would then begin our journey as parents. God had other plans, however. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/5977.html

Claudia

Mom to three little angels

Baby 1: Miscarriage at 8 weeks

Baby 2: Miscarriage at 8 weeks on February 23th, 2011

and

Gabrielle Marie
Born still July 2, 2012

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

My husband and I love children, and, like any young couple, we wanted to start our family and have many kids. But before we got married, my husband’s doctor told us that he had to go under surgery because he had a varicocele, and that would difficult him to get me pregnant; according to this diagnosis, without surgery, he couldn’t get me pregnant. But a couple of months after we got married, I went to the doctor for a regular checkup, while I was on what I thought it was my period, and that was when the doctor told me that was not my period but a miscarriage threat, and that I must keep rest. The next day that threat became a reality, I had a miscarriage. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/09/5856.html

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