Putting a face on miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss
Sam
Mom to Sawyer Lee
November 5, 2015
Maryville, Missouri
My name is Sam Bode, and November 5th is the date that will forever bring tears to my eyes and an ache in my chest. I’ll start at the beginning… August 6, 2015 was the happiest day of my life. My “nugget” was a girl, a perfectly healthy growing baby girl, Sawyer Lee Anderson. What could be better? We were halfway through our pregnancy and so excited, so were our family and friends. [Read more…]
Liz
Mom to Lillian Grace
Stillborn May 29, 2015
St. Louis, Missouri
Thursday, May 28, 2015 was an ordinary day. I took my 3 year old son to preschool. I went to work. Since I ended up getting out of work early and still had some time before my prenatal appointment at 3:30pm, I went to Target. I bought pacifiers and diapers. I remember another mom in the sunscreen aisle asked how far along I was. “35 weeks! Almost there!” Little did I know… [Read more…]
Christine
Mom to Matthew
Saint Louis, Missouri
July 13, 2015
I always knew I wanted a family, but I was terrified of being pregnant. Always having been acutely aware, in a borderline hypochondriac sort of way, of the range of things that could go wrong in pregnancy, I’d already thought of all the terrible possibilities.
Eventually deciding my desire to expand our family trumped my intense fear of statistically small probabilities of worst case scenarios, I decided I wanted to take a leap of faith, after 6.5 years of marriage. The timing was perfect – we were both approaching 30 and finally ready for a new chapter. We were over the moon excited when we found out I was pregnant! And I was still terrified.
Pregnancy was easy for me, at least physically. In the early days, I freaked out about aforementioned worst case scenarios. Dr. Google and I were frenemies – I was an accountant by day and an internet-trained maternal fetal medicine specialist by night. I cried during the first several ultrasounds, so scared we’d get bad news. Much to our delight, everything went perfectly.
Jermetra
Mom to Angel Baby Allen
May 2015
St. Louis, Missouri
May 8th started out as any other day. I stayed in all day. Evening came and I had this painful feeling inside me. I went to the bathroom, and realized I was spotting. I asked myself how could this be, when I had just had a period less than a week ago. I decided, something is not right. So, I took a pregnancy test. Two dark lines. I showed my family the first pregnancy test. My husband and I were shocked. This was exactly what we wanted. I still couldn’t believe this was really happening for us, so I took another pregnancy test. Still, two dark lines. But, I was spotting. [Read more…]
![IMG_4539[1]](http://facesofloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/IMG_45391.jpg)
Tori
Mom to Tyson River 3/28/12-3/28/12 stillborn
and Skylar Jones 7/14/14-10/10/14 Complex CHD
New Madrid, Mo
My name is Tori. I am the face of stillborn & CHD Loss. I was expecting our second baby in 2012. Pregnancy was going great. I was 34 wks & 5 days on March 38, 2012 when I wasn’t feeling Tyson moving. Those words “I’m sorry we can’t find a heartbeat” are engraved in my mind. [Read more…]
Keilyn
May 2012
Marshfield, Missouri
Victoria
Mom to Joshua Patrick
February 20th – 22nd, 2013
Kansas City, Missouri
Tara
Mom to Antton David and Rayland Joseph
Lost September 6, 2012
Burlington Junction, Missouri
We found out in July that we were expecting “momo” twins. This was quite a shock. I went to the ER because I thought I was starting to miscarry. They couldn’t find the heart beat and sent me down for an ultrasound. The tech found the heart beat immediately. Such a relief, but then she moved to get a better picture of our baby and found there were two and only one placenta and one sac. This is what they call monochromic/monoamnionic twins. We were so excited. At the time I was around 14 weeks. Our girls, ages 4, 6, 8 and 10, were happy as well. Our youngest said she wanted baby sisters because little boys are mean, but the other three wanted baby brothers because they just don’t get along with each other and I guess they thought that boys would be more fun or something. [Read more…]
Emily
Mom to Landon James
Born still September 4, 2006
Lebanon, Missouri
I was 25 weeks pregnant. I woke up on Thursday August 31st, 2006 with a sick feeling in my stomach. I had a sick feeling in my stomach every time I woke up, because I had non –stop morning sickness during my pregnancy, but this was different. My whole body was swollen. It felt as if my fingertips would bust open at any second. Something wasn’t right… but I blamed it on my ever changing body during this pregnancy. I thought this was just another side-effect that I would have to deal with. I got up as usual, went to class. I was taking a full load this semester so I wouldn’t get behind. I didn’t want to be one of those teen moms that didn’t amount to anything. I wanted to get my degree and be able to give my son everything that he deserved. I pushed on through the day, then after class went to work. I was a secretary at a law firm where my step mom worked. When I got there that afternoon, I showed her my ankles and my hands. She said that was just part of it. That evening when I got home I kept my feet propped up, trying to relieve some of the swelling. I fell asleep with several pillows under my legs that night. I remember laying there and putting my hands on my belly, feeling Landon kick. He was always very active when I lay down to go to sleep. [Read more…]
Stacy
Mom to Mattingly Lynn
Died October 2, 2009
Kansas City, Missouri
I found out very early that I was pregnant, about 4 weeks. I just woke up one morning and had a feeling; took a test and it was positive! My husband was scared to death when I told him, but we both started planning about the nugget growing inside of me. I had to scare my husband even more by telling him all the jokes I’d made in the past about having two little blonde girls, was more than a dream of mine – my father was a twin as well as my maternal grandfather. We had a high chance of multiples. [Read more…]
Andrea
Mom to Ava Marie
Born and Died on January 3, 2012
Kansas City, Missouri
I married the love of my life in June of 2010. A little over a year after that, we decided that we wanted to start a family.
We were very lucky to find out in September of 2011 that we were expecting! We were absolutely thrilled and already in love with this beautiful little baby. You know when people say that they want to be a doctor or a teacher when they grow up. Well, ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be a mom; so I was unbelievably happy. [Read more…]
Pam
Mom to Isaac Thor
Born Sleeping March 4, 2011
Warrensburg, Missouri
Making the decision to have another baby was a long and prayerful process. We had a desire to add to our family and felt we were in a position to do so. Isaac was to fill that final child chapter in our book of life. Little did we know that his chapter would take the turn it did while changing and blessing our lives the way it has. [Read more…]
Alliena
Mom to Alexys Annajoy
Still born November 8, 2011
Springfield, Missouri
I knew at a young age that I would not have children and those fears were confirmed in the fall of 2008. I was in and out of the hospital several times for abdominal pain and the doctors couldn’t figure out the reason for it. It was a couple of weeks after the pain started when I was diagnosed with insulin resistant Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). The doctor told me my chances of getting pregnant were slim to none. His exacts words were “You cannot get pregnant without help.” The news wasn’t as devastating because I knew this already from my lack of periods as a teenager. [Read more…]
Nikki
Mom to Alyssa, born and died February 22, 2008 at 22 weeks,
David, born January 12, 2009 and died January 15, 2009,
and miscarriages in 2008 and 2010
Springfield, Missouri
I had my first miscarriage in June 2007 at 12 weeks along. I was devastated. I blamed myself because I was diabetic, and my sugars hadn’t been controlled. I just knew it was my fault. My doctor told me it would be fine to try again, that we would just get me on insulin sooner and monitor me closely. I did get pregnant again about 3 or 4 months later. I was having a baby girl. [Read more…]
Brooke
Mom to Eliza
Stillborn December 6, 2010
St. Louis, Missouri
In early December of 2010, I was thirty four weeks and three days pregnant with my first child, a little girl. We called her our “Baby Duck.” I’d had an easy, uneventful pregnancy, and even in my third trimester, I felt good. The timing seemed to be perfect for our baby, who was due in January, and I joked that the only people more excited about this baby than my husband and I were my parents. I remember thinking at my baby showers how lucky my baby was to already have so many people who loved her. I couldn’t wait for her to meet all of our friends and family. [Read more…]
Erica
Mom to Faith Elizabeth
August 14, 2009 – August 17, 2009
St. Peters, MO
Just after New Year’s, 2009, my husband and I learned we were expecting our first baby. A bit surprised by just how quickly I’d gotten pregnant, I quickly became the pregnant person that everyone envied – never sick a day of the pregnancy. Other than exhausted during my first trimester, I enjoyed being pregnant and so along we went. We painted a nursery and with the help of my dearest friend in the world, Sarah, began planning a baby shower. The 20-week ultrasound came and we had decided not to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. The doctor did tell us that they found something on the scan that was abnormal. Called a choroid plexus cyst, they occur in about 1% of pregnancies – of those, 99% turn out to be nothing and occur in otherwise normal pregnancies. When that little blip came up, the doctor recommended that we do the bloodwork we’d previously not done because, according to the doctor, we were as low risk as could be and those first trimester screenings are notorious for false positives. Okay, bloodwork done – and all came back normal as could be. No increased risk of anything. At a level 2 ultrasound, the doctor declared, “Everything looks good. You have a greater risk of a complication from an amnio than you do that there is something wrong with this baby.” Whew – sigh of relief breathed. “We’re going to watch you on ultrasound – just in case.”
Ashley
Mom to Thomas Noah Keppler
Stillborn at 36 Weeks on April 12th, 2011
St. Louis, Missouri
My husband and I were married in December 2008, after dating for over 5 years. We had planned on waiting awhile to start a family – since I was only 22 and he was only 24. However, in August of 2010, we found out I was pregnant. We were surprised, but so excited – this baby was going to be the first grandchild for both sides of our family. [Read more…]
Jessica
Mother to Hayden Wyatt Mitchell
June 3rd – June 3rd, 2011
Rolla, MO
My name is Jessica. I am 23 years old. My husband and I have been married for 3 years now, and have one son together. My story starts back in 2010, when we decided it was time to make our family bigger! We actually got pregnant really fast! So shortly after we found out, we made an appointment to go to the doctor. Well, we went to this place that gives a free pregnancy test, and ultrasound. Of course, I couldn’t pass this up! I wanted to see my baby, well, at least the start of him/her! [Read more…]
Casey
Mom to Hannah Joy, February 8th, 2010
and James Oliver, April 25th, 2010
St. Peters, Missouri
February 7, 2010, forever changed my life. After arriving at a Superbowl party, I was rushed to the hospital only to have surgery to remove a baby I didn’t know existed before I had gotten there. My body went into shock as I lost 80cc’s of blood. My left tube ruptured. I lost the baby we had been trying for, my left tube and hope all in one day. I lost my angel baby #1 around 3:30 a.m. on February 8, 2010. [Read more…]
