Anna

Mom to Andrew
Died November 30, 2011, and born December 12, 2011

and

Innocent

McComb, Mississippi

I found out I was pregnant with Andrew a few days before Innocent’s due date. I had not been expecting it because I had been disappointed so many times. I was very happy, but was, of course, worried as well. We hadn’t known what happened to Innocent, so I worried the same thing would happen to Andrew. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/02/4680.html

Miranda

Mom to two angel babies

Natural miscarriage 7 weeks 5 days on October 13, 2011
(EDD May 28, 2012)

Misoprostal-assisted miscarriage 9 weeks 3 day on January 16, 2012
(EDD August 17, 2012)

Washington, Illinois

My husband and I were married in January 2009. He came with three children from previous relationships and we had planned on having one of our own and working on that within the first year of marriage. Because of some things going on in my life at that time, we pushed it back a couple of years and in November 2010, I went off the pill and we were just going to stop preventing to see what happened. By August of 2011, nothing had happened, so we tried OPKs and got our first positive pregnancy test on September 15. We were elated. Our EDD was 5/28/12, which we thought would be perfect. The baby would be here before summer got too hot and it would be nice enough that birthday parties could be held outside, etc. On October 4, at 6 weeks, 2 days, we had our first prenatal appointment and all we could see on the ultrasound was a gestational sac and yolk sac measuring less than five weeks. They took a beta draw which confirmed the pregnancy was not viable. I was given the choice of having a D&C, taking Cytotec/Misoprostol, or waiting for a natural miscarriage. I chose to wait and see and within a few days I began spotting. The spotting was very off and on for about five days. Once things really started happening, it lasted 14 hours and was over. Our first angel left us on 10/13/11 when it should have been 7w5d. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/02/4602.html

Magen

Mom to chemical pregnancy, May 2011

Eliza Rainn, missed miscarriage at 10 weeks 6 days

November 23, 2011

Madison, Alabama

 

I cannot remember a time when I did not dream of being a mother.

In December 2010 my husband and I decided to start our family. I went to the OB in February and had a prenatal checkup before we started actively trying. Everything came back perfect and we were given the green light to start our family. On Mother’s Day 2011 I got my first positive pregnancy test. It was very faint but it was a positive. I was cautiously excited. It was a Sunday and both of my best friends got positive pregnancy tests that same day. I tried so hard to be excited but I didn’t feel well. I was having some spotting, but everyone kept telling me it was normal. Unfortunately, two days later I started bleeding. My doctor saw me that day and did some lab work. He confirmed a chemical pregnancy. My heart hurt, I was so ready to be a mom. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/01/4470.html

Emily

Missed miscarriage at 12 weeks in December 2010,
Blighted ovum at 7 weeks in April 2011,
and missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in September 2011

Near Albany, New York

The story of my first missed miscarriage is here: http://facesofloss.com/2011/01/652.html. Since that time, I’ve had two additional losses.

I found myself pregnant again at the end of March 2011. I had betas drawn, and it didn’t look good. It was a 133 hour doubling time, when it should have been 24-48 hours. I went in for my first ultrasound at 6.5 weeks and only saw an empty sac. They tried to reassure me that it was in the right place, to give it time, but I started bleeding a few days later. Follow-up ultrasound and betas confirmed a completed natural miscarriage. It had been a blighted ovum. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/01/4394.html

Danielle

Miscarried June 10th, 2010

Ephrata, PA

April of 2010 was not only a shocking time for my then fiance and I but also a joyous time. We learned that we were expecting our first child after an irresponsible night in March. After we got over the initial shock that we were pregnant, joy and excitement came into play. I started to think of names for our little bundle of joy and my fiance started to guess what he thought the baby would be. I was finishing up a semester at college and was out of the state.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/12/4006.html

Michelle

Mom to our baby girl, Rose

Lost at 14 weeks on February 15th, 2011

Thousand Oaks, California

My husband and I found out in December of 2010 that we were expecting our 2nd child. We were thrilled that our children were going to be close in age just as I was to my sister. We had our son Carter in September of 2009, and I was secretly hoping we were expecting a girl next. My pregnancy seemed much different the second time around. I was a lot sicker than I had felt with my son Carter, and I had constant headaches. Some days, I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed, but as a full-time working mom I had no choice but to keep going. I kept reassuring myself that I would find relief soon in the second trimester. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3557.html

Kara

Missed Miscarriage

Diagnosed May 3rd, 2011

Miscarried May 5th, 2011

Mandan, North Dakota

My husband and I started trying to conceive our first child shortly after we got married.  I had been on the pill for nearly 14 years and had never tried to get pregnant, so I didn’t know what to expect.  To our surprise and delight, I got pregnant during my second cycle!  Like any first-time mom, I was excited and anxious at the same time.  We shared the good news with our close friends and family, but planned to wait until we heard a heartbeat to tell the rest of the world. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/10/3233.html

Katherine

Mom to Spring

Miscarried February 3rd, 2011 at 10 weeks

and Dove

Miscarried  June 10th, 2011 at 8 weeks

West Jordan, Utah

Spring’s Story:
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011

I went in for a regular ultrasound at 10w4d. I wasn’t even supposed to have it- I asked for it because even though I was really excited about being pregnant and we’d tried for this baby, I wasn’t feeling connected to this pregnancy and wanted to see the baby, so my midwife fudged some “left side pain” so I could get in. They couldn’t see me for three weeks, though. I didn’t mind since by then I figured we would be able to see the baby for sure. I have a tilted uterus so that makes it harder to hear the heartbeat with a doppler before 12 weeks or so. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/10/3223.html

Brittany

Mom of Baby Angel 1- Lost at 7 weeks

December 9th, 2010

and Baby Angel 2 – Lost at 10 weeks

August 3rd, 2011

Addison, Texas

I married the love of my life on May 18th 2007. From the first day I met him I know I was going to marry him. We married young– me being 19 and him 21. We knew we wanted kids and in Feb of 2008 we decided to start trying.  After many months and negative pregnancy tests, because of course every month I thought I was pregnant… we started to get concerned.  After a year of TTC and nothing went to see my OB/GYN and May of 2009 was diagnosed with PCOS ( polycystic ovarian syndrome)  Instead of taking Metformin we decided to try the natural way first. I’m not a huge fan of perscription drugs. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/3103.html

Shannon

Mom to Sean Edward

and Johnathon Ray

Missed Miscarriage – November 2009

and Chemical Pregnancy – July 2011

Colorado Springs, Colorado

In identical multiple pregnancies, there is one placenta and multiple umbilical cords. Each cord holds either two or three blood vessels, and carries blood and nutrients to each baby.

In Twin to Twin Transfusion, one baby (the recipient) has one of the other baby’s (the donor) blood vessels in their umbilical cord. This can also be caused by the babies sharing unequal parts of the placenta. Because of the unequal sharing of nutrients, the donor baby grows rapidly faster than the donor, and a size difference is usually the first indication that TTTS is taking place.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/3027.html

Hansi

Mom to Baby Asha

Lost at 11 weeks, 5 days on August 25th, 2011

Seattle, Washington

This is the chronicle of the brief life of a little person. As her mother, I feel like it is my duty to chronicle it. Without me, she has no voice., Already, I can feel that time has this way of chiseling away at memories, and I don’t want to lose anymore. Even though we only knew of her ended life a few days ago, it already feels like an eternity of sorrow. We have been to the inner reaches of hell, and we are trying to crawl back. Here is our story: [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/2999.html

Annie McKenney

Mom to two Angels

Brewster NY

 

My name is Annie McKenney and I live in Brewster NY. I am 37 years old and I love being a mom. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/07/2701.html

Amanda

Mom to Emma Nevaeh

Stillborn December 31st, 2008

& Peanut, Miscarried at 13 weeks, June 2009

Wysox, PA

Its hard to know where to begin…When I got pregnant with my first daughter it was a total surprise & everything went smooth & easy. She was born in 2007 at 8lbs 11oz & so beautiful. In 2008 my husband & I started to try again for our 2nd child, I had an abnormal pap that year (i had precancer cells on my cervix) so we decided to see a doctor for that pregnancy instead of a midwife like our 1st. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/07/2690.html

Roxanne Dudley

Mom to Baby Dudley

March 29, 2011

Tacoma, WA

My husband and I always wanted to be parents and just before our 3 year anniversary we made the decision to officially begin trying to conceive. We found out December 21st 2010 that we were pregnant! We were completely overjoyed, and proceeded to tell everyone we knew. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/07/2685.html

Sheena

Mom to Alexander Michael

2nd trimester angel, born June 30, 2011 due to Incompetent cervix

and 10 early losses July 2004-Sept 2007

Calgary, Alberta Canada

My journey to become a mother started in July 2004. My boyfriend (now husband) and I discovered we were pregnant, I had just turned 20. The timing was not perfect and there were so many things going on between us in our relationship that we were not sure where this was headed, but we were excited. I had had a previous child in 2002 and had given him up for adoption, and since that day I had always felt I was missing that part of me that yearned to be a mother. I don’t regret placing my first child for adoption, I know I wasn’t ready and neither was the babies father, and the family I placed him with were very loving, and experienced a lot of loss on their journey. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/07/2667.html

 

Ashley

Mom to Grace Marie

November 5th, 2010

Florida

My name is Ashley and I am an angel mother of a baby girl name Grace Marie. I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant. I am now 18. It was unplanned but I loved my baby the moment I saw those two pink lines.I fought to keep her. I wanted to give this beautiful baby inside me a chance. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/06/2031.html

Kayla

Missed Miscarriage

May, 2011

Rancho Cordova, CA

My name is Kayla Bosley and my Husband Eric and I eric met in 2005. I don’t know what I would do without Eric and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be his wife. From the time we met we knew that we wanted to have children. We got married in June of 2009 and we started trying right away to have children. Getting pregnant was not as easy as we envisioned it to be; so we started trying every fertility monitor that was available. When I still wasn’t pregnant in June of 2010 I went to the doctor. She started by giving me routine blood tests and tested many different levels. Fortunately all of my blood work came back fine in regards to getting pregnant and we just had to be patient. Unfortunately, the doctor found that my liver enzymes were 3 times higher than normal. After many tests and switching doctors multiple times in September of 2010; a CT scan revealed a tumor in my pancreas. The tumor was removed September 13, 2010 with the Whipple Procedure. The pathology report showed that my tumor was called a Pancreatic Neuroendocrine Tumor…Cancer!!!

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/06/1889.html

Marissa
Miscarriage at 6 weeks on November 24th, 2009
Miscarriage at 9 weeks on February 12th, 2010
Miscarriage at 9 weeks on June 23rd, 2010
San Angelo, Texas

http://facesofloss.com/2011/03/747.html

Lexie
Missed Miscarriage May 11th, 2009
Missed Miscarriage February 14th, 2011
British Columbia, Canada
In late March of 2009, my then fiance and I discovered we were expecting our first child together. For the last week I had thought that something was different, but I didn’t want to give myself over to the thought of being pregnant until I could know for sure since my periods had a history of being late. After we found out we were both so excited and went to the doctor the next day. When we heard all of my blood work was fine we began to tell people. At this time my biggest worry was that my wedding dress would not fit when I was three and a half months pregnant.


Everything began to unravel for us when I went in for my dating ultrasound on May 11th. Having never been pregnant I was not sure what to expect, but I thought that seeing your baby was a sure thing. The tech was very quiet throughout and would not let my fiance in. She asked me to empty my bladder for an internal ultrasound, after which she asked me to just wait outside. Grasping for anything and confused, I asked for a picture of my baby. While we waited I talked to my mom and she asked me what the heartbeat was and I felt my heart drop, I never heard a heartbeat. I did not want to give up hope and began to sob when my fiances mom said “these things just happen you know, you can try again”. After what seemed like an eternity the technician came out and handed me a picture of my baby and said that I should head to see my midwife. When I got there I was informed my baby had stopped growing at eight weeks and gave me my options of waiting, taking medication, or having a D and C. I began asking right away for a D and C, which she would not schedule saying I could expect to miscarry any day. I did not want to have a miscarriage, the thought of seeing what I percieved as pieces of my baby frightened me. I kept thinking that something had to be wrong, my baby looked so perfect, and I did not feel that I was miscarrying. I talked to my midwife and was able to get another ultrasound which confirmed my baby was gone. After two more weeks of being told to wait for my body, I went to my local emergency room begging for help. I could not go on carrying my baby inside of me anymore. The doctors were shocked that I had been carrying my baby like this for five weeks, and had me into a specialist the next day. The following day I had my first D and C.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/03/744.html


Morgan
Mother to Ella, lost to miscarriage January 3rd, 2009
and Angel Baby #2, lost to miscarriage April, 2009
Olathe, Kansas
Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to have children.  I think that is what most little girls want.  That is why we love dolls so much.  So it is no surprise that shortly after I got married, I started thinking more seriously about starting a family.  This is the story of my journey to becoming a mother.  It is a deeply painful and personal story.  I have chosen to share it for two reasons.  One is because it brings meaning to my struggle.  My pain will not have been in vain and it keeps the memory of those loved and lost alive.  The second reason, of equal importance, is so I might offer help and hope to other women experiencing the same loss.  Here is my story.


In November 2008, on my first wedding anniversary, I found out I was pregnant with a surprise baby.  Although surprised, my husband and I were thrilled.  We started seeing the doctor and went in for a routine 6 week ultra sound.  The technician told us the baby’s heart beat seemed a little slow but not to worry.  It was probably just because it had just started beating within the last few days.  We did not worry at all.  We went on our way without any problems.  At 11 weeks we went in for another routine doctors visit and our doctor said we could hear the baby’s heart beat and put an instrument on my tummy to find it.  She searched for 10 minutes to find the baby’s heart beat and never did.  I began to worry and asked her if anything was wrong.  She said, “You had an ultra sound at 6 weeks right?“.  I told her I had and she said she was sure everything was fine and the baby was just too little to pick up the heart beat yet.  Again we were sent on our way and told not to worry.  So we went on our way and did not worry.  When I was 12 weeks pregnant I can remember thinking, “Oh good, I am past the first trimester and the worst time for miscarriage”.  I was relieved.  Later that same day, after shopping for nursery furniture, I started bleeding very heavily.  It was a Sunday so my doctor’s office was closed.  I called the ER and spoke to the on call doctor who informed me I was probably miscarrying and I needed to call my OBGYN the next day to confirm this.  I asked him if I needed to come in to the hospital that day and he said, “No.  If you are miscarrying, you are miscarrying and there is nothing I can do to help you.”  My heart dropped when I heard him say this and I did not accept this.  What if my baby was still alive and just needed some help?  So I ignored the doctor and went to the ER anyway.  I was admitted and a doctor (not the same one I talked to on the phone) came in to examine me.  He said my cervix was still closed which was a good sign but unless he did an ultra sound he could not confirm the baby’s condition.  We opted to have the ultra sound.  The technician came in and quickly found the baby on the screen.  He started telling me where the legs and arms and various body parts were and I sensed he was avoiding telling me the only thing my husband and I really wanted to know.  I asked him if the baby’s heart was beating and he paused and then very nicely and quietly said, “I’m sorry.  I am not detecting any fetal heart movement.”  I said ok and sat silently while he packed his machine up and left the room.  Our family was waiting outside the door.  As soon as he was gone my husband and I both starting crying and hugging and all I could say over and over again was how sorry I was.  When our family came in to see us I just kept telling them how sorry I was.  It is interesting, as a mother, how you fully take the blame for a miscarriage right away.  Everyone kept telling me it was not my fault, but all I could say was how sorry I was.  This was the first grandchild on both sides of our family and everyone was so excited.  I felt I had let them all down and their hearts were broken just like mine.  I actually felt bad for them.  My father-in-law, a man known professionally for being very strong and not emotional at all, put his hand on mine and never let go of me the entire time we were in the hospital room.  That was January 3rd, 2009.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/03/739.html

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