Mom to Baby M

Miscarried: February 15, 2015,  Expected Due Date: September 10, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts

I managed to take a shower as the blood dripped out of my body and spiraled down the drain. It will take two hours for a cab, the voice on the other end of the phone stated. Admittedly, I should have called for an ambulance, especially since we were in the middle of another New England blizzard with zero driving visibility. In my mind though, that would have made the experience that much more of an emergency. This was not an emergency. At least, I didn’t want it to be—even though, intellectually I knew that I was losing the life inside of me with every passing minute.

I trudged through the six or so inches of snow on the ground towards my car. Incoming call. I answer. What’s wrong? The voice asked. I’m bleeding. I think I’m losing the baby. I tell my friend through the tears streaming down my face. I’ll meet you at the hospital, she said. 

I don’t know how, but I managed to drive myself to the emergency room. For two miles, the only people I shared the road with were the snowplow drivers. I’m almost 11 weeks pregnant and I’m bleeding, was all that I could manage to say to the receptionist before I broke down sobbing and wiping away my tears with my scarf.

I was immediately brought into a room where I was given a gown, poked with an IV needle, and asked what seemed to be 100 questions in a matter of minutes. Yes, I called my midwife. No, I did not do anything out of the ordinary today.

No, the baby’s father is not involved. Yes, I have health insurance. Yes, I called my brother and friend who will be meeting me here. No, I have not had an ultrasound; it is scheduled for next week. As I answered the questions, a short dark-haired doctor approached the bedside. She tried to assure me that although I was bleeding heavily it did not mean that I was losing my baby. She tried to comfort me, but I knew what was happening. I knew that my body had betrayed me in the most unimaginable way.

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Mother to Raylee Nichole, and three other babies in Heaven.

Baby one lost at 6 weeks in January 2007.

Baby two lost at 7 weeks in April 2007.

Baby three lost at 11 weeks in October 2008.

Raylee Nichole born August 6 2015 at 16 weeks and 5 days

West Lafayette, Indiana

My name is Nikki and I have four beautiful angels in heaven. It all started in 2007 when my period hadn’t come on its regularly scheduled day. Growing up my periods have never been quite “normal”. I was young and didn’t think anything about it. I figured it could have been due to stress or something and surely I would start soon. I began to bleed about 3 weeks after my estimated start day. I just assumed it was my period finally coming. But as the days went on the cramping got pretty intense and I was passing pretty large blood clots. I got nervous and went to the emergency room. Regular protocol is to take a urine pregnancy test. It came back positive. Holy cow, I was pregnant.

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Mom to twins: Lucy and Anthony
and Baby Taylor

Miscarried at 13.5 weeks gestation on January 13, 2015 & 4 weeks on June 1, 2015

Gainesville, Florida

No woman at 18 years of age should ever have to mumble the devastating words of “I lost my babies.” Those words should have never had to leave my mouth.  God, however, had other plans. That was my life, a good 6 months of it. This is my story of loss, of hope, and of courage.

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Mom to Angel Baby and Angel Girl Baby

April 8, 2015 and August 6, 2015

Oconomowoc, Wisconsin

On March 7th, I took a home pregnancy test. This wasn’t my first test ever, but it was the first one that was positive. Scott and I had decided in December, when my birth control pills ran out that I wouldn’t renew them, however, we weren’t “trying.” We figured since I had been on the pill since my freshman year of high school it was going to take a while. Like a year. Well, we were wrong.

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Mom to Aiden Christen

September 24, 2015

                                                         Atlanta, Georgia

Instead of writing a story, I just want to share my letter I wrote my unborn child. He would have been named Aiden Christen.

Dear Aiden Christen,

I remember when I found out you were growing inside of me. I was still in Taiwan traveling aboard and there you were with me soaking in this wonderful experience that few get the chance to have. I remember being so scared and unsure how we were going to make it, but I knew I would find a way for us.

Unfortunately, I allowed the negative thoughts of people engulf me and make me consider terminating your precious life that was so short lived. I regret allowing them to tell me that we would not be successful. I am sorry I allowed them to tell me you would ruin my life. I am sorry I was mentally weak and allowed those people’s negativity cloud my mind.

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Mom to Two Babies

March 9, 2009 and September 4, 2015

Richmond, Virginia

It’s hard enough when you are terrified from the moment you find out you’re pregnant. Having multiple miscarriages makes it even harder. When you’ve tried for over 5 years to get pregnant after the first miscarriage, I think fear doesn’t even begin to explain the feelings you have during that time.

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Mom to Baby Gunn

May 11, 2015

Overland Park, Kansas

Why did this happen to us? After months of trying to convince my husband to have another child, we finally began trying. We became pregnant and then 12 weeks later we lost our baby on the bathroom floor.

I just don’t understand it and I’m not sure I ever will. I knew from our very first ultrasound at 5 weeks in the emergency room for cramping that something wasn’t right. The doctor came in and said “we see a gestational sac but there is no baby in it at this time”, my heart sunk and I became speechless. [Read more…]


Mommy to Messiah
Buffalo, NY

About four and a half months ago [at time of writing] at 18 weeks I lost my son due to an infection called chorioamnionitis. I was told at one of my pre natal appointments I had the group b strep bacteria in my vagina, but they could not give me anything until I was in labor. About a month after I had my miscarriage, the doctor told me the infection is what caused my water to break early. The group b strep is what caused the chorioamnionitis. Finding out the physical cause of why I lost my son helped a little. The doctor described the probability of the infection as ‘bad luck’ and ‘ rare’. [Read more…]


Mom to Elena and Baby

March 19, 2015 and July 8, 2015

Lake Grove, New York

After just about 6 months of fertility treatments, I was fortunate enough to get pregnant with my daughter with my first IVF cycle in 2011. After threatened miscarriage and third trimester high blood pressure, my beautiful girl was born perfect in July 2012.

We had one snow baby left from that cycle, so I waited until our daughter turned two to start trying again.  This time, getting pregnant became even more difficult.  After the first two FET cycles were cancelled due to poor lining and polyps, I had a D&C and gave myself the holidays off to recover.  In January 2015, I had a successful transfer and got my positive pregnancy test in February 2015.  The numbers were low to start (HCG was 30), but they rose at a steady rate and from the time I saw the first heartbeat, I was in love.  I slowly began to believe I was lucky enough to get pregnant 2x in a row via IVF with no further complications.  My husband and I told all of our close family and friends and by week 8, we began to tell our jobs.  I have the apps in my phone to follow the development of the pregnancy and spent my nights before bed dreaming that my family would soon be complete.  I couldn’t wait for October 24, 2015.

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Mom to Jesse & Joshua

Lebanon, Pennsylvania

June 10, 2010 & February 12, 2013

This story starts before Joshua was conceived. In the late spring/early summer of 2012, one night I had a dream, in this dream my mother asked me (whom I only dreamed of one time prior) if I was pregnant. In this dream Mikey had 4 teeth and was walking up the steps. At that present time Mikey didn’t have that amount of teeth and wasn’t yet walking up the steps. Fast forward a few months in the fall of 2012 Mikey, now had the amount of teeth in my dream and also was walking up the steps. By then I forgot much about the dream, but I wrote it down because it was a particular dream. Only when “my friend” was very short did I suspect that I might be and then also remembered the dream.

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Baby 1 – 03.25.2010

Baby 2 – 09.03.2014

Cape Canaveral, Florida

Miscarriage, 2010, 2014, Florida

My name is Holly, very soon after my husband and I married in 2009, we knew right away we wanted to start a family.  We figured it would be easy.  Never once crossing our minds that we would have any issues or complications.  All of 2009, we tried and decided to move to the state of Florida in February 2010. I had told my husband right before our move that I would not think about getting pregnant and just let it happen.  Well little did we know within 14 days of moving to Florida we fell pregnant.  I took a test and there were the lines, I called him and was crying “you are going to be a daddy”!

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Jamie Lynn

Mom to Edward Malcolm Joseph October 29, 2013

Baby M #1: 11 weeks, July 2014

Baby M #2: 9 weeks, November 2014

Posterior Urethral Valves (PUV)

Ontario, Canada


Three years after marrying my amazing husband Michael, we decided to start a family. After a few months of unsuccessful trying, I had a feeling there had to be something wrong… I called my mom and luckily she knew a fantastic fertility doctor who could see me right away.

It was a pretty quick diagnosis – it only took one ultrasound to discover I have polycystic ovaries. We tried a couple cycles of Clomid and then opted for surgery to get my ovaries to respond. Two months later I was pregnant with our absolutely gorgeous and wonderful little girl, Halina. 

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Maria Juan


February 13, 2012

Henderson, Kentucky

I found out I was pregnant sometime around December 2012. I was 18 years old at the time. I was very happy, but very scared of what my father would say, so I didn’t say a word to him. I decided to tell my mother because I knew she wouldn’t be angry with me. My boyfriend Cody (19 years old at the time) didn’t take the news that great, but he came around.

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Baby Bitt 1, died September 25, 2013 (8 weeks)
Baby Bitt 2, died April 19, 2014 (12 weeks)

Austin, Texas

From the time I was a little girl, my life goal was to be a mother. I dreamed of being married – but never of the wedding – and of being pregnant and later being a “mommy”. I have always loved children and started babysitting months before I was legally of age. I was soon a favorite babysitter in my neighborhood, with children congregating wherever I was. It was fun to play and care for all of my neighbors, watching them learn and grow. Pushing babies in a stroller, reading bedtime stories, brushing teeth and picking out pajamas, playing games and cooking meals. As a teenager, I loved it as my job, and I longed for the day I would build my own family.

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Mom to Wesley, ectopic pregnancy, April 13, 2010

Mom to Bentley, missed miscarriage, August 13, 2014

Lubbock, Texas

We began trying for a baby starting the summer of 2009.  We had been married about 4 1/2 years and I had been on birth control pills our whole marriage.  We were not actively trying at first, mostly just preventing.  I really thought that we would get pregnant right away.  I have never had any problems with my cycle and it has always been very regular and predictable.  Well, month after month went by with no pregnancy.  Most months I would get my hopes and then my period would start.  I could probably name off everyone who got pregnant while we were trying.  It was very hard to hear people say that they got pregnant their first month trying.  March of 2010 my period was late.  I took several pregnancy tests and they were all negative.  I was also having some pains in my ovary.  I looked some stuff up online and got freaked out!  Then my period started, so everything was fine.  I had decided not to stress about getting pregnant and just leave it all in God’s hands. [Read more…]


Second pregnancy lost at 16.5 weeks
Third pregnancy lost at 6 weeks
Fourth & Fifth pregnancies lost at 8 weeks

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

My story, copied from my first blog post:

Med school in our early twenties.

Met shortly after that. Well, his last year and my first in Residency. On a medical mission trip in Costa Rica. Yeah, that’s how God started our life together… years with only a couple hundred miles apart but we had to meet a few thousand miles away.

First kid born full term, we were both 30; he was conceived after two months of “trying.” We’re thankful for fertility.

Human life is a blessing. We learned that in church (Catholic grade school for me, Sunday-school for him) and then again in medical school. When I dissected the hand in Anatomy, I really knew it. Only a divine creator could fathom something so intricately beautiful. And then on those ultrasounds, I really knew it. Finally, when you hold a perfect creation in your arms, it is true. What a gift.

About nine months later, we were pregnant for the second time. Miscarried at 16.5 week, baby number 2 had Trisomy 18. A blessing in disguise, they said. Better to lose her now, than later.

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Mom to Samuel (miscarriage) July 18, 2012 and

Reagan Catherine (born sleeping) October 31, 2012

Fort Mill, South Carolina

I married my college sweetheart on May 26, 2007 after dating for 4 years.  He was the love of my life.  Everything seemed to work out perfectly as we met in our first class as college freshmen and married 2 weeks after graduation.  Life was easy and going exactly according to plan.  We decided in 2009 that we wanted to have children.  I figured it would take 2 months, 3 tops.  And then we could share the joy with our families that year at Thanksgiving.  And then at Christmas.  His birthday party?  Maybe 4th of July?  Football tailgate reunions??  And on it went.  No pregnancy, month after month.

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Mom to Abbi-Claire

Haines City, Florida

I’ll never forget the moment I heard the words…”I’m sorry, your baby’s heart has stopped beating”. How can one sentence shatter my world and rock everything that I found to be steady and true? For the next five to six minutes I felt every emotion there was to feel. I was so incredibly sad, angry, heart broken and a host of others. I immediately held tight to the one I love and begin to pray. That was the only thing I knew to do. I knew that God heard every cry for help and every prayer. Even though I was an emotional train wreck I knew that Gods grace was clinging tightly to me. Through that I began to find comfort. [Read more…]



Waipahu, Hawaii

They say that ignorance is bliss. And they are correct. I went off of birth control in July of 2006. I was so excited! I had finally talked my husband into having a baby! I just knew that I’d get pregnant right away and have a bundle of joy in my arms within a year. Eight months later, I finally got that long awaited positive! My excitement could not be contained. I blissfully told everyone I met I was having a baby. And if they didn’t ask, I came up with a reason to tell them. Oh, you like cheeseburgers? Well, I’m pregnant!

My doctor wouldn’t see anyone before their ninth week so I took the first available appointment after that, making my first appointment scheduled for 11 weeks. My husband had to work that day but that was ok. I would bring him a picture of our amazing little one. I talked excitedly all through the ultrasound. My ignorant bliss blocking my ability to see that the ultrasound technician wasn’t excited. She listened to me tell her how excited I was. How much I wanted a son. How I’d already picked out names. How I couldn’t wait to start showing. Bliss. Ignorant bliss. [Read more…]

103_5761 - CopyAndrea

Mom to Dakota

August 19, 2013

Carrboro, North Carolina

My husband and I have been together since I was 18 and he was 20. We married young and had our first daughter shortly after. At 4 years of age, right around the time we started thinking about another baby, our sweet little girl was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes. To say we were devastated was an understatement. With this disease and all that comes with it–multiple daily shots, multiple daily finger pricks to test her blood sugar, frightening high and low blood sugars, we thought that having a baby would be more than we could handle and decided to put it off until we got the hang of diabetes.

[Read more…]

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