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Thithui

Mom to Baby Mimo

February 17, 2016

Los Angeles, California

July 28th, 2016 was the day my son Mimo was supposed to be born, but instead, he died on February 17th, 2016, following a rear-end car accident. I was 4 months and 6 days pregnant of him.

In my heart, I will always have 2 boys. Both of them were “Made in France,” and “Born in The USA.”  Back in 2003, my husband and I were so blessed that our first IVF attempt with only 1 embryo was successful which resulted in our wonderful 12-year-old son.  In October 2012, I returned to Paris for our 2nd and last IVF attempt (in France, the age limit for IVF treatment is set at 42 for the woman): This time, we produced 3 embryos and 2 were transferred back at that time, but our twins did not implant.  Then finally, this past November 2015, I returned to Paris for my last frozen embryo transfer (I can write a whole chapter about this experience – but to make it short: It was quite wonderful and emotional).  Upon my return to Los Angeles, I did at least 10 pregnancy tests (sometimes twice a day), before being confirmed by three hCG blood tests (done 2 weeks after my embryo transfer), that I was officially pregnant at age 45!!! This was an unbelievable miracle!  Our family was in Heaven!!!  Then, to my amazement, I managed to pass another huge milestone: The 12-week “Danger Zone.”

On January 26th, 2016, my son came with me to my 14-week follow-up ultrasound.  After everything was normal, the ultrasound tech asked if I wanted my son, who was in the waiting room, to come in to see his baby brother or sister.  My son was so touched when he saw his Baby Brother or Sister moving and waiving “Hello!” at him, and he started to cry tears of joy! The technician then gave him a big hug that brought tears of joy to my eyes. At that time, Baby Mimo’s heartbeat was 169! How perfect!!!  During that visit, we were given a precious ultrasound picture of Baby Mimo’s face profile: He looked exactly like his Big Brother. Today, this picture is placed on our bookshelf in the hallway, to make us feel that Mimo is still here with us.

Due to my advanced maternal age, I subsequently had further genetic testing. The first Down Syndrome blood test came back positive which, according to the nurse, was something very common for my age. Then, good news! The ultimate nuchal ultrasound came back negative for Down Syndrome! What a deep relief! Additional testing including the NIPT which presumably has 99% accuracy also came back negative for any genetic problems. Our family was so relieved and happy and we really thought the world belonged to us!  The NIPT also predicted that Baby was a boy! My eldest son was so happy because he had wished a baby brother for the past 2 years.  That is a long time for a kid to wait.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2017/02/8417.html

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Jen

Mom to Rosalie Joy

November 5, 2015

West Lincoln, Ontario, Canada

On November 5, 2015, I had my baby girl. She was born at 39 weeks 3 days – beautiful, perfect in every way. She weighed 8lbs, 1oz. She was born at 1:05 am.

She died at 7:25am. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/01/8081.html

1Dominique

Mom to Elena and Baby

March 19, 2015 and July 8, 2015

Lake Grove, New York

After just about 6 months of fertility treatments, I was fortunate enough to get pregnant with my daughter with my first IVF cycle in 2011. After threatened miscarriage and third trimester high blood pressure, my beautiful girl was born perfect in July 2012.

We had one snow baby left from that cycle, so I waited until our daughter turned two to start trying again.  This time, getting pregnant became even more difficult.  After the first two FET cycles were cancelled due to poor lining and polyps, I had a D&C and gave myself the holidays off to recover.  In January 2015, I had a successful transfer and got my positive pregnancy test in February 2015.  The numbers were low to start (HCG was 30), but they rose at a steady rate and from the time I saw the first heartbeat, I was in love.  I slowly began to believe I was lucky enough to get pregnant 2x in a row via IVF with no further complications.  My husband and I told all of our close family and friends and by week 8, we began to tell our jobs.  I have the apps in my phone to follow the development of the pregnancy and spent my nights before bed dreaming that my family would soon be complete.  I couldn’t wait for October 24, 2015.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/07/7805.html

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Meghan

Mom to Samuel (miscarriage) July 18, 2012 and

Reagan Catherine (born sleeping) October 31, 2012

Fort Mill, South Carolina

I married my college sweetheart on May 26, 2007 after dating for 4 years.  He was the love of my life.  Everything seemed to work out perfectly as we met in our first class as college freshmen and married 2 weeks after graduation.  Life was easy and going exactly according to plan.  We decided in 2009 that we wanted to have children.  I figured it would take 2 months, 3 tops.  And then we could share the joy with our families that year at Thanksgiving.  And then at Christmas.  His birthday party?  Maybe 4th of July?  Football tailgate reunions??  And on it went.  No pregnancy, month after month.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7347.html

IMG_1096Vanessa

Mom of Max Michael and Leo William

Born and died July 16, 2013

Boston, Massachusetts

My husband and I found each other when we were both in our late 30’s. We were ready to be married and we were ready to be parents. In the next 14 months (after our honeymoon) when we weren’t yet pregnant, our excitement turned to surprise and then soon to worry. I changed my diet (I’m a registered dietitian so of course this would help, right?) to follow the “fertility diet plan”, reduced my work hours from full to part time, started acupuncture, reduced my caffeine, reduced my physical activity to keep my heart rate under 110… you name it and I did it. My husband too, though all of his tests were fine, started reading about increasing his testosterone with cold showers, more cholesterol from food, etc. Basically, we felt like we had nothing to lose and if there were a chance it could help, why not?
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7334.html

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Amber

My angels:
December 29th 2009 – Loss at 12 weeks
May 19th 2010 – Loss at 7 weeks
August 8th 2010 – Loss at 8 weeks
May 1st 2012- Loss at 9 weeks

Oshawa, Ontario Canada

This is the letter I wrote to our 4th angel baby.

Three weeks ago [at time of writing] I took a deep breath and I peed on a stick. Before I could blink or even process a thought, I saw those two lines appear. My heart stopped, my heart skipped a beat, I started to shake and take deep breaths. I looked across the room at my beautiful little girl as she played in the dining room. I looked back at myself in the mirror and saw the tears streaming down my face.

I was in absolute shock. How could this be? A natural pregnancy!? The last time we conceived naturally was in November 2009. Back then Miscarriage was just something we had heard of, but didn’t know just how common it was. Nor did we ever think it would happen to us. We faced our biggest fear on my husbands 25th birthday in 2009, at the end of December just after our 12th week of pregnancy. I miss my baby every day and I have never fully recovered from that loss.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7136.html

Faces of LossKrystal

Mother to Conner Timothy & Benjamin Michael

Born and lost on January 10, 2014

Illinois

I look at pictures of myself while I was pregnant, just a short 5 months ago [at time of writing]. I can’t help but think that I was so young back then; I have hardly aged since the pictures were last taken, but my heart now bears the weight of what seems like a million losses. It took nearly two years for my husband and I to get pregnant. Our babies were the fruition of the emotional and physical turmoil of IVF, and they were taken from us.  And yet, they were worth every single second of despair and frustration.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6972.html

nathalie

Nathalie Himmelrich

Mom to Amya Mirica Hope

September 1, 2011 – September 3, 2011

Zurich, Switzerland

After being unsuccessful at becoming pregnant naturally, we conceived in our first round of IVF, after implanting one egg, which subsequently split and graced us with expecting identical twin girls.

During our 19-week scan, we were told that one of our twins showed abnormalities in her kidneys. After our scan, the girls got fed up being called ‘twin 1’ and ‘twin 2’ and we chose Angel cards to give them names in utero. Since then, we referred to them as Passion and Hope – very synchronistic, as twin 2 chose Hope and she was the one dealing with her malformed kidneys.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6496.html

Jaclyn

Mom to “Coby”

Ectopic pregnancy, November 19, 2009

Foster City, California

About 3 years ago, my husband and I got a BFP on a pee stick.  I was in pure bliss, because we were so surprised on how quickly we got pregnant after stopping birth control pills.  Then one morning in November (November 20th to be exact), I woke up with awful pains in my abdominal area and was very scared.  I called the doctor’s office and had an appointment with my OB, and that is where our story begins. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/10/6020.html

Kirsten

Mom to an unnamed baby
Lost at 5 weeks on October 15, 1997 at 5 weeks,

‘Dot’, lost September 4, 2010 at 5 weeks,

and

‘Bert and Ernie’, lost March 2, 2011 at 5 weeks

Auckland, New Zealand

My first pregnancy was an accident. And I didn’t know anything about it until it was all over.  And while I was upset, I wasn’t devastated. I was 19 and in my second year of university, had split up with the father and really didn’t need life to be complicated. It has come back to bite me since. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/06/5601.html

DeAnne

Mom to Joshua, miscarried in 2007,

Bryn, ectopic pregnancy in 2010,

and

Anais, miscarried in 2011

Wellington, New Zealand

I have lost 3 longed for babies, 2 (2007 and 2011) to early miscarriage and one as an ectopic pregnancy (2010) (2 were IVF babies and one was a natural pregnancy) who I have named Joshua, Bryn and Anais in order to help me grieve. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/06/5573.html

Ashley

Mom to Gentry Ann, born and died February 25, 2012
and
Savannah Elizabeth, born and died February 26, 2012

Memphis, Tennessee

I found out I was pregnant on November 9, 2011, after our first attempt at IVF. We found out we were expecting twins on November 28. After almost two years of trying to get pregnant, we were so excited to be expecting two babies. At the first ultrasound it was found that I had a subchorionic hematoma (SCH) next to Baby A, but it was small enough to not be much of a concern. The day after I was released from my fertility doctor, I was in the ER for heavy bleeding. But, an ultrasound showed both babies were doing great. The bleeding was from my SCH. We ended up at the ER again a month later for more bleeding, but again both babies were fine. At that time I was ordered to bed rest for three weeks. After about 3.5 weeks the bleeding quit, for the first time my entire pregnancy (at almost 17 weeks pregnant). [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5327.html

Kaitlin

Mom to Jordan
Lost September 9, 2011,

Ectopic pregnancy, September 2009

and

Missed miscarriage, March 2009

Kitchener, Ontario, Canada

My name is Kaitlin and I am 29 years old. I am married to Scott and have a daughter Emma.
I am sharing our journey with you as demonstration of our commitment to this process. Please take the time to understand where we have been and how we got to this place. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/04/5093.html

Heather

Mom to Twin B, and Hudson Edward (Twin A)

Lost Twin B at 9 weeks 5 days

Lost Hudson at 18weeks on 2/16/2012

Rockland, Massachusetts

My husband and I tried for a year on our own to get pregnant, did 2 years of IVF – we had one ectopic… the very next ivf round we got pregnant with our twins – it was amazing (we did 3 fresh IVFs and one frozen – only the fresh worked for me). [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/04/5055.html

Kellie

Mom to Andrew Noah, Benjamin Levi, and Caleb Thomas

Born and died December 30, 2009

Bakersfield, California

We had fought for so long for those babies. Years of infertility. IVF worked almost too well. I ended up with triplets! I was so sick even from the beginning. From ten weeks on I had the worst morning sickness. Nothing stayed down very well.

On December 23rd, 2009, when I was about 16 weeks pregnant, I went on home IV hydration since I had been puking up everything in sight. That night, I managed to clot up my IV and had to go in the next day to get a new one placed. The next morning my head was killing me with a hideous headache that wouldn’t respond to anything. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/02/4656.html

Celia

Miscarried at 9 weeks 2 days

on December 23, 2010

Leominster, MA

 

My husband and I married right out of college but gave ourselves a good 3 years to get our feet on the ground and enjoy being a couple. In January of 2009, after years of fighting recurrent ovarian cysts, mood swings and just feeling plain ole crazy, I decided to go off the pill. We threw caution to the wind and left it to fate. We never focused on getting pregnant, but deep down hoped it would happen. There were months when I would see a faint line that would disappear days later. (I now know I was having chemical pregnancies.)

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3882.html

Logan

Three Babies in Heaven Lost to Miscarriage

First baby lost August 2010

and Twins in March 2011

Liberty Center, Indiana

Today changes everything. My fingers tremble as I begin to write this, tears well up in my eyes to the point I can’t see the computer screen. Then one by one the tears stream down my cheeks, and then onto my chest. And this lump in my throat is making it hard to breathe… [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/10/3324.html

Millessa

Mother to Owen and Avery (fraternal twins)

Born and Passed on Feb 13, 2011

San Jose, CA

 

My babies are gone. They are not coming back. All the hopes, dreams and plans we had for our future as family and their future as individuals are gone. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/06/2262.html

Amy

Lost 8 Children to Miscarriage

From 2001- 2011

Bryant, Indiana

The joy of the Lord has pressed into me the last few days in such a unnatural way.  I went to our appointment yesterday awaiting our ultrasound as a last visual of reality.  Either God had plans to preform a great miracle and answer our prayers or He was organizing a different plan…a better plan then even raising the dead.  The ultrasound showed our sweet baby still floating inside the gestational sac..no life, no heartbeat. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/05/1594.html

Shannon
Miscarriage at 9 weeks 4 days on November 10th, 2008
Whitby, Ontario, Canada
I’ve always known I wanted children.  Well before I’d even met the man I wanted to have them with, they were wanted.  And thanks to a lifetime of irregular cycles, my greatest desire soon turned to my greatest fear – that as much as I wanted children, I wouldn’t be able to have them.
So far, my fears have been realized.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/502.html

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