Mom to Adrienne Rose

November 10, 2013 – November 11, 2013

Glendale, Arizona

If I had to describe child loss using a word, my word would be painful.

And not like I broke my arm and it was painful or my pet passed away and it was painful; this pain is actually quite indescribable. You know when people describe their sadness and say they are “heartbroken,” well let me tell you, the moment I lost my sweet Adrienne, I literally felt my heart break. I felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest. I felt like I couldn’t breath and I remember asking myself, how am I supposed to live the rest of my life without my child? I questioned my faith, I remember crying to my husband and telling him how sorry I was, and how unfair it was because I wanted her so bad. I loved her.  She had been apart of me, of us for 26 weeks and the only time I ever got to hold her in my arms, was to say goodbye. [Read more…]


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Mom to James Bentley

December 24, 2014 – December 25, 2014

Petersburg, Virginia

My story starts when I was 32 weeks pregnant. It was December 24th 2014 and the morning started like any other. I woke up, got my husband up and sent him to work and [then I] laid down across the bed to watch a movie. Out of nowhere, a big gush of water came out. I thought it was just pee; it was my first pregnancy and I was only 18 and I had no idea what was going on. I just ignored it and kept going about my day.

Well at about 8 in the morning I started getting sharp pains in my lower back. I thought it was Braxton Hicks. I mean, I’m only 32 weeks. How can I be in Labour? So I tried to walk it out. I tried to sleep it off. Well, at about 5:30 p.m. the pain got HORRIBLE so my husband rushed me to the hospital where I was admitted, sat in a bed and left in a room for an hour and a half. The nurse came in, said I must have pulled a muscle and told me to go home. I was in so much pain by that point, I was shaking and crying.

I left the hospital at 7:32 p.m. I was on the way home when I delivered my son at 8 p.m. in the front seat of my husband’s truck. James Bentley entered this world at 3 pounds 6 ounces 17 inches long and so gorgeous. I called 911 and returned to the hospital with my son where they told me he was fine for 6 hours and wouldn’t let me see him.

At 3 a.m. they came in the room and said he most likely wouldn’t make it through the night and had to be ambulanced to another hospital. Upon arrival they told me he had a hole in his throat the size of a breathing tube and that unless he made it 72 hours, his chances of survival were low. I got to really meet him at this hospital. I spent some time with him once they got him stable and I tried to lay down after knowing he was okay. At 8 am on December 25, 2014, the doctors rushed into my room and told me he was gone. Once they quit manually pumping his oxygen, he was done. Twelve short hours wasn’t long enough. The emotions I feel are unreal. It feels like a dream honestly.




Mom to Kara Chase

March 26, 2016

Glen Burnie, Maryland

March 26, 2016 was supposed to be a normal day. My four year old daughter, Kayleigh, had her first t-ball practice and my husband and I were excited to watch her. The very next day was Easter and I would officially be 28 weeks pregnant. I was happy that I would finally be in my third trimester with our second daughter, Kara. We were looking forward to welcoming her into our family in June. Kayleigh was excited to have a little sister. We were so happy. Little did we know that our entire world would come crashing down on us and it would turn into the worst day of our lives.

[Read more…]




Mom to Richard Allen

May 16, 2016 – May 17, 2016

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

My husband and I found out we were pregnant on the eve of my 28th birthday. It seemed like the perfect birthday present and with each passing week, we felt that we were getting closer and closer to our dream of having a child. Every single appointment was perfect and I enjoyed a very healthy, trouble-free pregnancy. 

[Read more…]




Mom to Odin Jimi

Born March 15, 2016 and Died March 18, 2016

Brisbane, Australia

Hi there men and women of the world. Thank you for reading, on the subject of the loss of a baby. I’m not going to lie, losing a loved one in any way, shape or form is horrible. It’s actually pretty shit… that is the best way to sum up the loss of a loved one in a few simple words. It’s completely shit. But to lose a tiny human that you’ve prayed, cried and taken many, many, many pregnancy tests for is beyond a feeling or emotion that I can describe. [Read more…]




Mom to Alivia Jean

August 14, 2013 – April 5, 2014

Eagan, Minnesota

It was a Thursday morning. I could tell Alivia was still not feeling well from the night before. She would eat and throw up immediately afterwards which was unusual for her as she didn’t even burp up much. I decided I would stay home that day and take care of her while my husband Ryan dropped off our five year old son Landon at daycare and went to work.Throughout the day, Alivia continued to eat but was unable to keep anything down. She wasn’t running a fever. There were no signs of discomfort. It only seemed as if she had a touch of a stomach bug. The next morning she was still unable to keep anything down. My husband took a turn staying home with her and decided it was best to bring her in to the pediatrician. They checked her out and determined she had a stomach virus and recommended giving her Pedialyte so she would not become dehydrated. [Read more…]





Mom to Ivan Joaquin

March 2, 2014 – March 10, 2014

Port Lavaca, Texas

It was a Tuesday morning. I felt sick and I felt exhausted. I couldn’t sleep the night before because I had a weird feeling in my stomach. While I was at work, I asked my mom if she could get me some medicine from the store. I explained my symptoms to her and chalked it off as just getting a cold or the flu. Her first question was, “Well have you started your period?” So….. I thought back, and No!

Actually I was 5 days late! But, I had been known to have irregular periods so I didn’t think too much about it. Plus I take the pill, so there is no way that could be an option. So when I got home on my lunch break, there was a bag from the drugstore with Dayquil, cough drops and a pregnancy test. I thought, “Yeah right, there is no way, but she bought it so I will take it.” [Read more…]


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Mom to Faith Elizabeth

December 27, 2010

Upstate, New York

Five years ago I became pregnant with my second child.  My husband and I were beyond excited to grow our family and to see our 3 year old daughter, Julianna become a big sister.

My pregnancy progressed as normal and I will never forget this date.  August 31, 2010 was the big day!  The day we were scheduled for our 20 week ultrasound and we would find out if our baby was a girl or a boy! This day forever changed the lives of myself, and my husband and daughter.

That day we learned that our unborn baby had a rare and fatal condition called anencephaly.  This happens early in the pregnancy and it’s a condition that causes the bones of the baby’s skull to never fully close, which exposes the brain.  Our baby had a severe case and was missing skull from the eyebrows upwards. [Read more…]


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Mom to Lola

April 26, 2014 – April 29, 2014

Santa Cruz, California

“There’s two in there!”

The midwife’s words, spoken at my first trimester ultrasound in October 2013, came as a delightful surprise. Never in the world did I imagine I would give birth to twins! My husband Kenny and I were very excited. We had suffered a miscarriage just a few months earlier, so we took this news as a happy, karmic reward. Twins don’t run in either of our families, but as I soon found out, identical twins (which is what we were having), aren’t tied to genetics at all. They happen randomly–when the egg splits in two after being fertilized–and occur in about 1 in 300 to 400 pregnancies.

Twin pregnancies, and especially identical twin pregnancies in which just one placenta nourishes both babies, are considered high-risk. While I was fearful about having this label attached to me, I felt more at ease as my pregnancy progressed. Everything seemed to be going okay. I was being seen approximately every two weeks, by either my delivering OB, or by the consulting specialists affiliated with Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital—one of the best hospitals in the nation. (Although Lucile Packard is located in Palo Alto, an hour’s drive away from my home in Santa Cruz, they fortunately have a satellite office/diagnostic center here in Santa Cruz, so I didn’t have to drive too far for my appointments.) And, starting at about 30 weeks, I had twice-weekly non-stress tests at the hospital in town where I would be delivering (Dominican Hospital). I was scheduled to be induced at 37 weeks gestation–on May 1st, 2014. I wanted to at least try for a natural birth, even though I knew that many sets of twins are delivered via C-section. [Read more…]




Mom to Brady

Ontario, Canada

September 4, 2015 – Septemner 12, 2015

My husband and I were married in August of 2012.  It was a great day.  We got married after three years of dating.  We also took our time and decided to be just the two of us for a little over two years before starting to think about expanding our family.  We were lucky enough to get pregnant in December 2014.  Meaning our first little one was set to be born just after our three year anniversary and right around my birthday. [Read more…]





Mom to Samuel

Born and Died on October 1, 2015

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I married the most wonderful man and my best friend in September 2013. We decided we’d start trying to have a baby in January 2015, with the thought it may take awhile to get pregnant. I was so anxious and excited to get pregnant that I would take so many pregnancy tests. When I saw that first positive stick, I couldn’t believe it. Mark and I were supposed to take a vacation in Saint Martin in December 2015 and I remember telling him that I didn’t think we would be able to go. He said “why not”. That was when I showed him the positive test and said “Because I’m pregnant!” That was a happy moment.

I was so blessed not to have morning sickness or anything too severe. Smelling beer, charcoal grilling, and the dishwasher made me feel nauseous but that was nothing compared to some mamas. Mark swore we were having a girl because I craved sushi, couldn’t stand the smell of beer and charcoal grilling. Our plan was to not find out the sex of the baby. We all know that plans don’t really work out the way we intend though.

At 10 weeks, I bled. I bled a lot. I woke up early that morning and went downstairs to feed the cat and get some cereal. While downstairs, I felt something warm dripping down my legs which turned out to be blood. I thought I miscarried. I woke Mark and we laid in bed and prayed. I was so scared. I went in for an ultrasound that morning and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Our little squirming coil (as my husband liked to call the baby) was wiggling around and with a strong heartbeat. I was told I had Placenta Previa and was put on pelvic rest for 5 weeks. 

[Read more…]


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Mom to Rosalie Joy

November 5, 2015

West Lincoln, Ontario, Canada

On November 5, 2015, I had my baby girl. She was born at 39 weeks 3 days – beautiful, perfect in every way. She weighed 8lbs, 1oz. She was born at 1:05 am.

She died at 7:25am. [Read more…]




Mom to Bailey Marie

October 14, 2015 – October 15, 2015

Vacaville, California

March 8, 2015, the best day of my life. I found out I was pregnant. I took about 5 pregnancy tests to really make sure I was pregnant and once I realized I was and that there’s no way 5 tests could be wrong, I looked in the mirror and said to myself “you’re going to be a mom,” and I began crying with excitement. It is what I have wanted for so long, a family of my own.

My boyfriend was out golfing so I went to the store and got a onesie and wrapped it along with the pregnancy tests for when he got home. Once he opened the perfectly wrapped package we both just smiled, the most genuine smiles we’ve both ever seen. Our lives were beginning now. The doctor appointments began. Always a strong heartbeat and they always told me it was a big baby. My gut was telling me it was a boy. We had a gender reveal party to find out the sex, IT WAS A GIRL! [Read more…]




Mom to Emery Rose

October 20, 2015-October 21, 2015

Whiteland, Indiana

In August 2014, I was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve and told that I likely would never be able to conceive a child again.  My husband and I accepted this and actually were not looking to have any more children.  At the time, we already had a boy 11 and a girl 4.  It was something we just took off of our radar and continued on.

In April of 2015, I discovered I was pregnant. We were shocked and nervous, but I was still so excited.  The day I found out I was pregnant I went in for blood work.  The very next day the doctor’s office called and said that I had very low progesterone.  I remember the nurse asking, “Are you bleeding, spotting or cramping?”  I told her no and that I actually felt fine.  She seemed quite surprised and said she would call in a prescription for progesterone and that I needed an ultrasound the same week.  The ultrasound confirmed what we already knew and they determined a due date of December 10, 2015.
[Read more…]


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Mom to Larkin Amelia

October 7, 2015

Philadelphia, PA

I am sharing our story because my grief counselor keeps suggesting writing as a way to heal. I am sharing our story for other mothers out there who might feel alone in their grief, too. I am sharing our story because I had a daughter, and I want people to know about her. I am sharing our story because the memories and love for her are all we have left to share. [Read more…]




Mom to Cameron and Oliver

November 21, 2014

Homosassa, Florida

Cameron Wesley was a miracle baby. He was my second pregnancy, I was diagnosed with placenta previa and doctors told me I would have a c-section, which frightened me. Around 30 weeks, my placenta had moved and everything started to turn. [Read more…]




Mom to Jack Daniel 

Chicago, Illinois (Living in Bucharest, Romania)

05-11-15 to 05-12-15

The best things in life aren’t planned, or so I’ve been told.  And that’s exactly what everyone said to me when I found I was pregnant just two months shy of my fortieth birthday.  I wasn’t trying; on the contrary I was actively trying not to get pregnant. “Bob” and I had just decided not to continue dating.  After a great vacation he’d called it quits at the airport.  A few weeks later we got together for one last hurrah.  And what a last hurrah it was, our son was conceived that day.

[Read more…]



Mom to Andi Michelle

June 18- September 7, 2014

Winder, GA

Andi was my second pregnancy and different from my first one, I knew I was pregnant the day I missed my period even if multiple test told me different. Until I had one test that showed a very faint two pink lines, I went to the doctor that day and they confirmed what I had already known.

I was so sick for 13 weeks, things grossed me out completely and while having a one year old at home, I was EXHAUSTED! Since the pregnancies were both so different I swore this time we would be having a boy, but that was wrong when two nurses told us “It’s a girl”. Andi was born at 39 weeks via c section (my choice), she was 8.4lbs and 21 inches long, completely different from Emma (her sister). Andi was 2 ounces bigger but so very petite, she was like a little doll.

July 24th, 2014 is a date I will never forget- it’s the day our lives changed. Andi woke up that morning and was “twitching” and her eyes would flicker, which lasted a few minutes. I knew something wasn’t right.  I had literally just started the job of my dreams; my aunt took Andi to the pediatrician to see what they thought it was. Her pediatrician said it looked like a seizure but it was hard to tell, we weren’t able to get an appointment with a neurologist for A MONTH! Talk about crazy stupid.

[Read more…]




Mom to Emma Rose

January 9, 2015 – April 23, 2015

Salem, Virginia

My daughter Emma Rose Kelly was born January 9, 2015 and passed away April 23rd. I laid her in her playpen that morning and checked on her at around 10:15, she was fine. I checked on her again at 10:30 and I found her unresponsive. Between the paramedics and myself we performed CPR for an hour before they declared her time.

[Read more…]



Mom to Tyler Hayes

August 31, 2011 (43 minutes of life)

Pensacola, Florida

(I’m not sure if this is the type of story that you would want to share, but I thought maybe it might help someone.)
What keeps me awake.

[Read more…]


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