Mom to Richard Allen
May 16, 2016 – May 17, 2016
Mom to Richard Allen
May 16, 2016 – May 17, 2016
Mom to Odin Jimi
Born March 15, 2016 and Died March 18, 2016
Hi there men and women of the world. Thank you for reading, on the subject of the loss of a baby. I’m not going to lie, losing a loved one in any way, shape or form is horrible. It’s actually pretty shit… that is the best way to sum up the loss of a loved one in a few simple words. It’s completely shit. But to lose a tiny human that you’ve prayed, cried and taken many, many, many pregnancy tests for is beyond a feeling or emotion that I can describe. [Read more…]
Mom to Alivia Jean
August 14, 2013 – April 5, 2014
It was a Thursday morning. I could tell Alivia was still not feeling well from the night before. She would eat and throw up immediately afterwards which was unusual for her as she didn’t even burp up much. I decided I would stay home that day and take care of her while my husband Ryan dropped off our five year old son Landon at daycare and went to work.Throughout the day, Alivia continued to eat but was unable to keep anything down. She wasn’t running a fever. There were no signs of discomfort. It only seemed as if she had a touch of a stomach bug. The next morning she was still unable to keep anything down. My husband took a turn staying home with her and decided it was best to bring her in to the pediatrician. They checked her out and determined she had a stomach virus and recommended giving her Pedialyte so she would not become dehydrated. [Read more…]
Mom to Ivan Joaquin
March 2, 2014 – March 10, 2014
Port Lavaca, Texas
It was a Tuesday morning. I felt sick and I felt exhausted. I couldn’t sleep the night before because I had a weird feeling in my stomach. While I was at work, I asked my mom if she could get me some medicine from the store. I explained my symptoms to her and chalked it off as just getting a cold or the flu. Her first question was, “Well have you started your period?” So….. I thought back, and No!
Actually I was 5 days late! But, I had been known to have irregular periods so I didn’t think too much about it. Plus I take the pill, so there is no way that could be an option. So when I got home on my lunch break, there was a bag from the drugstore with Dayquil, cough drops and a pregnancy test. I thought, “Yeah right, there is no way, but she bought it so I will take it.” [Read more…]
Mom to Faith Elizabeth
December 27, 2010
Upstate, New York
Five years ago I became pregnant with my second child. My husband and I were beyond excited to grow our family and to see our 3 year old daughter, Julianna become a big sister.
My pregnancy progressed as normal and I will never forget this date. August 31, 2010 was the big day! The day we were scheduled for our 20 week ultrasound and we would find out if our baby was a girl or a boy! This day forever changed the lives of myself, and my husband and daughter.
That day we learned that our unborn baby had a rare and fatal condition called anencephaly. This happens early in the pregnancy and it’s a condition that causes the bones of the baby’s skull to never fully close, which exposes the brain. Our baby had a severe case and was missing skull from the eyebrows upwards. [Read more…]
Mom to Lola
April 26, 2014 – April 29, 2014
Santa Cruz, California
“There’s two in there!”
The midwife’s words, spoken at my first trimester ultrasound in October 2013, came as a delightful surprise. Never in the world did I imagine I would give birth to twins! My husband Kenny and I were very excited. We had suffered a miscarriage just a few months earlier, so we took this news as a happy, karmic reward. Twins don’t run in either of our families, but as I soon found out, identical twins (which is what we were having), aren’t tied to genetics at all. They happen randomly–when the egg splits in two after being fertilized–and occur in about 1 in 300 to 400 pregnancies.
Twin pregnancies, and especially identical twin pregnancies in which just one placenta nourishes both babies, are considered high-risk. While I was fearful about having this label attached to me, I felt more at ease as my pregnancy progressed. Everything seemed to be going okay. I was being seen approximately every two weeks, by either my delivering OB, or by the consulting specialists affiliated with Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital—one of the best hospitals in the nation. (Although Lucile Packard is located in Palo Alto, an hour’s drive away from my home in Santa Cruz, they fortunately have a satellite office/diagnostic center here in Santa Cruz, so I didn’t have to drive too far for my appointments.) And, starting at about 30 weeks, I had twice-weekly non-stress tests at the hospital in town where I would be delivering (Dominican Hospital). I was scheduled to be induced at 37 weeks gestation–on May 1st, 2014. I wanted to at least try for a natural birth, even though I knew that many sets of twins are delivered via C-section. [Read more…]
Mom to Brady
September 4, 2015 – Septemner 12, 2015
My husband and I were married in August of 2012. It was a great day. We got married after three years of dating. We also took our time and decided to be just the two of us for a little over two years before starting to think about expanding our family. We were lucky enough to get pregnant in December 2014. Meaning our first little one was set to be born just after our three year anniversary and right around my birthday. [Read more…]
Mom to Samuel
Born and Died on October 1, 2015
I married the most wonderful man and my best friend in September 2013. We decided we’d start trying to have a baby in January 2015, with the thought it may take awhile to get pregnant. I was so anxious and excited to get pregnant that I would take so many pregnancy tests. When I saw that first positive stick, I couldn’t believe it. Mark and I were supposed to take a vacation in Saint Martin in December 2015 and I remember telling him that I didn’t think we would be able to go. He said “why not”. That was when I showed him the positive test and said “Because I’m pregnant!” That was a happy moment.
I was so blessed not to have morning sickness or anything too severe. Smelling beer, charcoal grilling, and the dishwasher made me feel nauseous but that was nothing compared to some mamas. Mark swore we were having a girl because I craved sushi, couldn’t stand the smell of beer and charcoal grilling. Our plan was to not find out the sex of the baby. We all know that plans don’t really work out the way we intend though.
At 10 weeks, I bled. I bled a lot. I woke up early that morning and went downstairs to feed the cat and get some cereal. While downstairs, I felt something warm dripping down my legs which turned out to be blood. I thought I miscarried. I woke Mark and we laid in bed and prayed. I was so scared. I went in for an ultrasound that morning and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Our little squirming coil (as my husband liked to call the baby) was wiggling around and with a strong heartbeat. I was told I had Placenta Previa and was put on pelvic rest for 5 weeks.
Mom to Rosalie Joy
November 5, 2015
West Lincoln, Ontario, Canada
On November 5, 2015, I had my baby girl. She was born at 39 weeks 3 days – beautiful, perfect in every way. She weighed 8lbs, 1oz. She was born at 1:05 am.
She died at 7:25am. [Read more…]
Mom to Bailey Marie
October 14, 2015 – October 15, 2015
March 8, 2015, the best day of my life. I found out I was pregnant. I took about 5 pregnancy tests to really make sure I was pregnant and once I realized I was and that there’s no way 5 tests could be wrong, I looked in the mirror and said to myself “you’re going to be a mom,” and I began crying with excitement. It is what I have wanted for so long, a family of my own.
My boyfriend was out golfing so I went to the store and got a onesie and wrapped it along with the pregnancy tests for when he got home. Once he opened the perfectly wrapped package we both just smiled, the most genuine smiles we’ve both ever seen. Our lives were beginning now. The doctor appointments began. Always a strong heartbeat and they always told me it was a big baby. My gut was telling me it was a boy. We had a gender reveal party to find out the sex, IT WAS A GIRL! [Read more…]
Mom to Emery Rose
October 20, 2015-October 21, 2015
In August 2014, I was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve and told that I likely would never be able to conceive a child again. My husband and I accepted this and actually were not looking to have any more children. At the time, we already had a boy 11 and a girl 4. It was something we just took off of our radar and continued on.
In April of 2015, I discovered I was pregnant. We were shocked and nervous, but I was still so excited. The day I found out I was pregnant I went in for blood work. The very next day the doctor’s office called and said that I had very low progesterone. I remember the nurse asking, “Are you bleeding, spotting or cramping?” I told her no and that I actually felt fine. She seemed quite surprised and said she would call in a prescription for progesterone and that I needed an ultrasound the same week. The ultrasound confirmed what we already knew and they determined a due date of December 10, 2015.
Mom to Larkin Amelia
October 7, 2015
I am sharing our story because my grief counselor keeps suggesting writing as a way to heal. I am sharing our story for other mothers out there who might feel alone in their grief, too. I am sharing our story because I had a daughter, and I want people to know about her. I am sharing our story because the memories and love for her are all we have left to share. [Read more…]
Mom to Cameron and Oliver
November 21, 2014
Cameron Wesley was a miracle baby. He was my second pregnancy, I was diagnosed with placenta previa and doctors told me I would have a c-section, which frightened me. Around 30 weeks, my placenta had moved and everything started to turn. [Read more…]
Mom to Jack Daniel
Chicago, Illinois (Living in Bucharest, Romania)
05-11-15 to 05-12-15
The best things in life aren’t planned, or so I’ve been told. And that’s exactly what everyone said to me when I found I was pregnant just two months shy of my fortieth birthday. I wasn’t trying; on the contrary I was actively trying not to get pregnant. “Bob” and I had just decided not to continue dating. After a great vacation he’d called it quits at the airport. A few weeks later we got together for one last hurrah. And what a last hurrah it was, our son was conceived that day.
Mom to Andi Michelle
June 18- September 7, 2014
Andi was my second pregnancy and different from my first one, I knew I was pregnant the day I missed my period even if multiple test told me different. Until I had one test that showed a very faint two pink lines, I went to the doctor that day and they confirmed what I had already known.
I was so sick for 13 weeks, things grossed me out completely and while having a one year old at home, I was EXHAUSTED! Since the pregnancies were both so different I swore this time we would be having a boy, but that was wrong when two nurses told us “It’s a girl”. Andi was born at 39 weeks via c section (my choice), she was 8.4lbs and 21 inches long, completely different from Emma (her sister). Andi was 2 ounces bigger but so very petite, she was like a little doll.
July 24th, 2014 is a date I will never forget- it’s the day our lives changed. Andi woke up that morning and was “twitching” and her eyes would flicker, which lasted a few minutes. I knew something wasn’t right. I had literally just started the job of my dreams; my aunt took Andi to the pediatrician to see what they thought it was. Her pediatrician said it looked like a seizure but it was hard to tell, we weren’t able to get an appointment with a neurologist for A MONTH! Talk about crazy stupid.
Mom to Emma Rose
January 9, 2015 – April 23, 2015
My daughter Emma Rose Kelly was born January 9, 2015 and passed away April 23rd. I laid her in her playpen that morning and checked on her at around 10:15, she was fine. I checked on her again at 10:30 and I found her unresponsive. Between the paramedics and myself we performed CPR for an hour before they declared her time.
Mom to Tyler Hayes
August 31, 2011 (43 minutes of life)
Mom to Camden
August, 17, 2013 – May 21, 2014
On August 17, 2013 our baby Camden was born at 37 weeks. He was born via c-section due to being breech the entire pregnancy. He didn’t cry when he was born and had a hard time breathing in his own, so he had to spend the first night in the NICU. The next morning they brought him to our room and my husband and I took turns loving on him and talking about everyone who was going to come see him that morning. I decided to take a shower and my husband spent that time with Camden. After my shower, I picked Camden out of the bassinet and he seemed a little pale to me, so I set him on the bed. I started to undress him to make him a little more uncomfortable, just to make sure he was ok. I got no response from him. I pushed the nurses’ call button and the nurse came in. I asked her if he looked ok to her and she looked at him, picked him up, put him in the bassinet and ran with him out of the room. [Read more…]
Mom to Boston
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
On May 24th, 2014, I found out I was expecting my second child. On May 24th, 2015 my son will have been gone for as long he was here. 68 days. My pregnancy was a healthy one. Unfortunately, morning sickness ruled my world for 5 months with both of my children, but I was expected to have a perfectly healthy baby boy. On January 9th 2015, I did. Boston was the epitome of perfection, and the autopsy that I received 3 and a half weeks after his death concluded the same. There was not a single thing wrong with any part of him, not a single toxin in his body, literally nothing. His death is “undetermined.” This is the story of the day my son became an Angel.
Mom to Calvin Michael
3/25/15 – 3/27/15
My husband and I had wanted a second child for some time. When we were finally financially secure and healthy in our relationship we began trying. It took two years but finally a positive pregnancy test! We were thrilled, and our five year old son was too. We began planning right away, I did all the “right” things – ate healthy, exercised, and tried to relax. I had terrible morning sickness for about 18 weeks but otherwise had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Everything looked normal, baby was growing just fine. I wanted to have a vbac and so they did a few extra ultrasounds to be sure our baby was head down, we discovered our baby was going to be big! I didn’t care. There was one slight question about me possibly having gestational diabetes, but I began testing at home and being very careful about my diet and exercise.