Mom to Alana
Stillborn October 4, 2013
Katonah, New York
Alana Marie Banerjee was born on October 4th, 2013 at 2:21 a.m. – 6 lbs 8 oz of pure joy for me and her father. At 20 inches long, she was a tall baby, with long skinny legs, slender fingers with perfect miniature nails, and big soft feet with all the requisite toes. She had her father’s nose and ears and eyelashes, my lips and eyebrows, the softest skin I’ve ever felt, and a full head of silky black hair. There was only one thing wrong with this storybook ending; following nine months of a perfectly healthy and blissful pregnancy, our daughter was born dead.
Alana died at 39 weeks 5 days, just two days short of her due date. Up until the moment the nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat, she’d been healthy and strong. The doctors had called her fetal monitor read-outs “textbook.” She’d been active and lively, rolling around in my belly, suffering adorable bouts of in-utero hiccups (often more than once a day) for weeks. She’d passed every prenatal test with flying colors. There was never a cause for concern – never a single warning sign. Until, all of a sudden, she was gone.