Ashleigh Singh

Mom to Scarlett Kathryn 

August 18th, 2015

Fort Collins, Colorado


Well, here goes nothing… I have been told by many people that writing about the death of a baby helps with the grieving process. I am skeptical that my pain will ever go away, but if someone somewhere reads this post and realizes that they are not alone in this terrible world then that makes me feel a little better. I am suffering deeply right now. I paused just then trying to find the right word. “Suffering” does not sum up what my husband and I feel. The truth is, no words can describe how we feel. Lonely, heartbroken, angry, jealous, depressed, lost-is there a word that can describe all of this and more? No. Eleven days before my due date, our lives came crashing down and we didn’t even know it. Here is our story.

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Mom to Madison

March 17, 2014

Chatham, New Jersey

Our first child never saw the world. On March 17, 2014, we went into the hospital, 38 weeks pregnant, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. Our lives shattered in an instant.

We had had an uneventful first pregnancy up until that moment. I threw up once. The nausea disappeared right on schedule. Our ultrasounds looked fine, even the third trimester ones. We were so happy, but also cautious… We didn’t announce the pregnancy beyond close family and friends until our third trimester. We had the most un-baby shower baby shower (no games, no theme, no opening presents). We busied ourselves preparing for the baby – moving, unpacking, getting the house ready. The day we finally felt that we could breathe, felt that maybe we were ready to actually have a baby, was the day our baby probably died. [Read more…]


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Mom to Nathaniel Edward

May 10, 2015

Brooklyn, New York


May 9th was the worst day of my life. I go over that day, the ones that precede it and the ones to follow in my head again and again. Even six weeks after, there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about those days. Each time, I go through trying to save my son over and over, only to realize that I can’t and he isn’t coming back to me. [Read more…]



Mom to Brooke Isabelle 

May 23, 2015

 Isanti, Minnesota

I worked with kids my whole life and I couldn’t wait till the day I could have my own. I got pregnant a little less than a year after my husband and I got married and we were both ecstatic! My lifelong dream was coming true. Right away I started planning and getting so excited for our little one’s arrival. My first ultrasound was at 6 weeks and it was such a crazy and surreal thing to see my little baby’s heartbeat fluttering in the screen. I had some morning sickness but otherwise I was feeling great! Each appointment my doctor always said “things look great see you next time!” I let out a big sigh of relief as I passed first trimester as I knew the chance of miscarriage was less likely to happen.

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Mom to Madelyn Rose

July 21, 2014

Baytown, Texas

When the ultrasound tech told us we were having a girl, my jaw dropped. My automatic thought was, “I am not very girly. I can’t even dress myself, much less dress a girl. I hate bows. How am I going to do this?” Joel put me at ease with a trip to Old Navy after our ultrasound. He was ready to shop for his baby girl. Once I saw all the cute dresses and outfits, I thought, “I can do this. She will always look cuter than I will. But I can do this.”

I loved being pregnant. My favorite memory was lying on the couch with Joel. As usual, he was talking and rubbing my belly. He leaned in to tell her a secret and BOOM! Baby girl hit him in the face. I’m not sure if it was a punch, kick, elbow or booty bump, but it was the funniest thing. Besides the constant morning sickness, that lasted my whole pregnancy; everything was great.

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Mom to Alana

Stillborn October 4, 2013

Katonah, New York

Alana Marie Banerjee was born on October 4th, 2013 at 2:21 a.m. – 6 lbs 8 oz of pure joy for me and her father. At 20 inches long, she was a tall baby, with long skinny legs, slender fingers with perfect miniature nails, and big soft feet with all the requisite toes. She had her father’s nose and ears and eyelashes, my lips and eyebrows, the softest skin I’ve ever felt, and a full head of silky black hair. There was only one thing wrong with this storybook ending; following nine months of a perfectly healthy and blissful pregnancy, our daughter was born dead.

Alana died at 39 weeks 5 days, just two days short of her due date.  Up until the moment the nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat, she’d been healthy and strong.  The doctors had called her fetal monitor read-outs “textbook.”  She’d been active and lively, rolling around in my belly, suffering adorable bouts of in-utero hiccups (often more than once a day) for weeks.  She’d passed every prenatal test with flying colors.  There was never a cause for concern – never a single warning sign.  Until, all of a sudden, she was gone.

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mom to Luke

Stillborn September 10, 2012

Placentia, California

My first pregnancy felt like a dream come true. 

My husband and I had decided in December 2011 that now was the time–We’d officially try for a baby.  We had no idea that things would go so smoothly.  After literally one month of trying, I missed my period, took a test, and there it was–Positive. It was also Friday, January 13, 2012. Maybe that was foreshadowing? I don’t even believe in superstitions, but I still wish I’d taken that test on any other day… [Read more…]



Mom to Avery Michele

March 25, 2013

Eureka, California

My name is Morgan, my husband Rick and I met when we were both pretty young, about 13 years ago this February [at time of submission] we worked together at a local grocery store and well that’s, where it all began. I moved on to different jobs, and by Spring of 2004, Rick asked me to Marry him. I of course, said “Yes”. We married July 9th 2005, and bought and moved into our first home shortly their after. Life was going great and we decided we were ready to have a family.

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Ana picAna

Mom to Jake Alexander Rodriguez

Born October 24, 2013

Awarded Angel Wings on October 26, 2013

Miami, Florida

I am a mother to 3 amazing boys… one of whom was awarded his angel wings 8 months ago [at time of writing], after blessing our lives for 2 painful, yet most amazing days. He is our precious baby that almost wasn’t. The entire medical team advised us strongly to terminate as his complications could have brought a risk to me and we were told to consider this as we had our other two boys to think about.

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Mom to Georgia Andrews

January 22, 2014

Bangor, Northern Ireland

I just wanted to share my story with you all. I fell pregnant with my second child in May of 2013. We had planned it. I have an 8-year-old son, Parker, from a previous relationship so this child was the first for my current partner, and pretty new to me again after 8 years!! We were all so excited. My pregnancy was great the whole way through; a bit of the usual sickness but generally easy. All my checkups where great, baby was a good size, strong heartbeat and everything going so well. We got a due date for January 30, 2014!

Photo 5(1)Bonnie

Mom to Delilah

February 13 2013 – February 14, 2013

Livermore, California

My name is Bonnie. I am 30 years old, married to my loving husband since 2010 and this year (2013) [at time of submission] I was supposed to become a mommy. Her name was Delilah Sage and she was born full tern at 40 weeks and 4 days. She was a beautiful little girl, 6 pounds and 6 ounces and she was perfect. She had my nose and big eyes like her daddy. Her upper lip was like hers dad’s while her lower lip was like mine. She had my long toes. I carried her for nine months and every single one of those days I fell in love with her more.

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Mom to Nora

Stillborn December 30, 2013

Minneapolis, Minnesota

My daughter, Nora, was delivered into this world, dead at 40 weeks and 4 days after a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy.  She was stillborn due to an infection that was from the normal bacteria in my body, that my immune system could not fight off or protect her from.  Her delivery story is below.  (I don’t call it her birth story because she did not have the chance to be born awake into this world.) [Read more…]



Mom to Brooklyn Eloise

Born Sleeping June 27, 2012

Toledo, OH

I found out I was pregnant 2 days after our 6th wedding anniversary. We had been not trying not preventing for about 6 months. I might have been trying a little bit)… I had a perfect, uneventful pregnancy, never any morning sickness, active. I felt great up until the end. I would remark to friends I didn’t know what all the complaining was about, that I could be pregnant for another 6 months.

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Mom to Alexander

Born and died May 13, 2012

Fresno, California

Due date, May 11, 2012:

On Friday, May 11th, our first child Alexander still wasn’t ready to come out. I went to my doctor’s appointment on his due date. He was perfect. I was perfect. He just wasn’t ready to meet the world yet.  My doctor scheduled another appointment on Monday to do a stress test because she doesn’t like babies to go very long over their due date. It never crossed my mind that anything bad would happen. It didn’t cross her mind to even mention it to me, either. Death was never discussed. Death wasn’t discussed in any of the three books I read during my pregnancy, either. Not one thing was wrong with me or with Alex during the pregnancy. Late Friday night, I started to have contractions. They weren’t as strong as I expected them to be. I envisioned myself screaming, but they weren’t that intense. However, they were coming closer and closer together. This lasted all night. [Read more…]


Delaney Marie

Born still March 22, 2012 at 39 weeks

Maitland, Florida

I am the face of a baby so loved and wanted, that was suddenly robbed from me for absolutely no reason, full term.

It didn’t take long for me to get pregnant. We were so excited and so was our entire family. I had an easy pregnancy, and in fact I wondered why people complained about the side effects of pregnancy. I thought, “Hey, this is easy!” I did everything right. We planned out excitedly how to tell all of our parents and family members. We had a gender reveal gathering at our house with family the day we found out we were having a sweet little baby girl. I was given 3 baby showers. This baby was fully prepared for, loved, and had everything I and she could possibly want. My husband and I decorated her nursery so beautifully, picked out new furniture together and were so excited for her arrival. I had all her clothes and sheets washed, stroller built, swing set up, and the night I began realizing I hadn’t been feeling any movement all day, my husband was setting up her bed that would be in our room for her first few months of life. I will never forget what we were doing the night before we got the worst news we could ever receive… [Read more…]


Mom to Mae Elizabeth

Born still May 18, 2012

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

My husband and I lost our first born baby girl when she was born still on May 18th, 2012.  She was born full-term (40 weeks, 1 day) after 9 months of a healthy pregnancy.  She was wiggling and moving on May 16th and at our 40 week check-up, she was gone. [Read more…]


Mom to Makenna Allene

Born still September 1, 2012 at 39 weeks

Alexandria, Virginia

I am the face of…a yearned for baby that was taken from me, full term.

Geoff and I had thoroughly discussed and planned for having a child; we thought this was the penultimate display of our love and commitment to each other. So, when I went for a fertility consultation at 38 years old and was told, basically, that I “should not” be thinking about having a child and that I potentially could not at “this age”, imagine our shock and surprise when I became pregnant a month later. We considered our baby girl, Makenna, a miracle baby from the beginning. We celebrated announcing our pregnancy with a party, and when we found out at 18 weeks that we were having a healthy baby girl we celebrated with another “gender reveal” party. Our friends threw us a huge co-ed baby shower. Every chance we could, we joyfully jumped headlong into planning for and celebrating her arrival. All through the pregnancy I avoided caffeine and alcohol, ate right, drank water, exercised, slept on my side – you name it, I did it. [Read more…]


Mom to Gia Elizabeth

Born still August 28, 2012

Cape Coral, Florida

I was 21. I was a single girl just living life. I wasn’t trying to conceive, in fact, I was trying to avoid getting pregnant. I found out I might be pregnant on January 7, 2012 when I realized my period was late. On January 8th I went to Gia’s dad’s house and we got a pregnancy test. Before I even peed on it, I knew I was pregnant. I knew something wasn’t right in my body. I could tell things were different. I remember in the week before and until I took the pregnancy test I had this queasy, uneasy feeling in my stomach. As soon as I saw the + on the pregnancy test, the feeling in my stomach went away. I had figured it out, I was pregnant. I immediately had to leave Jeff’s house and go see my mom. I got home and ran into her room. I was scared to tell her. “Mom, I think I might be pregnant.” “Jenna, are you serious? When was your last period? We have to go get a pregnancy test.” I told her I had already taken one and it was positive. We left to go to the beach and on our way we picked up 4 tests. We walked down the beach with the dogs and talked, it was then and there that I knew I was going to keep the baby. It was the beginning of the rest of my life. I was going to be a mom! [Read more…]


Mom to Mirayah Michelle

Stillborn July 5, 2012 at 38 weeks

Shawnee, Oklahoma

My husband, Matt, and I discovered we were pregnant on November 7th, 2011. We have one son that I had from a previous relationship, and Matt adopted him. This would be our first child together. We were over the moon and filled with joy and excitement. My sister was also pregnant and was given the due date of June 30th while mine was July 17th. My sister and I were so excited to share the experience of pregnancy and raising our babies together. [Read more…]


Mom to Carter Cooper Barry

Born sleeping October 20, 2011 at 38 weeks 2 days

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

October 20, 2011.

It was a day like nothing I have ever gone through, or nothing I ever want to go through again.

I woke up on Wednesday, October 19 and got my 3-year old, Jackson, ready for our day. I babysit another child, so I was able to stay home with Jackson, who I still have a hard time separating from. We went to the drop-in at our neighbouring school, where Jackson will attend when he goes next year. I was 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant…I am so busy every day that I noticed movement from the baby mostly in the evening. I went to the drop in and really didn’t feel movement, so when we got home I put the kids down for a nap, and drank a cold glass of milk…nothing, then juice…nothing. I called my doctor and no answer, so I left a message. I called the hospital and they said to come in. The kids woke up and I called the mother of the child I babysit and asked her to come and get her daughter a little early. I had to go to the hospital to see what was going on. [Read more…]

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