mommy 2015

Shanecia

Mom to Gabriella Cadena

July 1, 2016

Las Cruces, New Mexico

You never truly know how precious life is until a horrible tragedy happen before your eyes. 

June 30, 2016. Thursday afternoon was a normal day. I ran errands with my son and did everything I normally do. Thursday morning while still in bed, I felt my baby girl move around and kick me. That afternoon was a normal routine prenatal checkup. I was 22 weeks along. I was so excited but also fearful to go in and hear the heartbeat because no parent wants anything to go wrong. I went in for my appointment with the intentions of leaving with a healthy baby girl, and a strong heartbeat. This moment changed my life completely. I was so heartbroken. I was in shock. I was numb.

My OB and I started off with the simple routine questions. The measurements of Gabriella and the part I dread but yet can’t wait for…hearing her heartbeat. My OB couldn’t find her heartbeat. At any other appointment it was so easy and quick to find her heart. But this time was different. It took longer than expected and I knew something was wrong. As I looked at her face I could tell something was wrong and she looked worried. She then rolled in the ultrasound monitor to see if she could get the heartbeat on the machine. She couldn’t. She told me she was going to get the head OB to help her. At that point I was so confused and freaked out. I was shaking and so scared. I didn’t know what to think. I began crying and praying. Praying it was just a glitch and she was just being stubborn. The doctor came in and began another ultrasound. It took him 10 minutes (which felt like a lifetime) because he wanted to make sure what they were saying and seeing was accurate. He started explaining to me what he found on the screen. He stated she had a lot of fluid and swelling around her head. He confirmed she had passed. By far the WORST feeling I have ever felt.

My husband had stayed home with our son while I went to my appointment because again, who would think anything like this would happen? I immediately called my husband hysterically crying telling him everything that happened. My doctor went over some options with me. He told me to go home and discuss with my husband what we wanted to do. We could either wait and let my body go into labor itself or be admitted that day and induced. I couldn’t hold off any longer, I had to be admitted and induced. I went straight home after my appointment and as soon as I walked through the door, my husband was there, I broke down. We were so devastated. We were told to go back to the hospital in 1 hour. We went in and as I was pushed in a wheelchair up to labor and delivery, I was so frustrated and angry that this was actually happening. All I could think about was why was this happening to us? What did we do to deserve this? Where did I go wrong with taking care of myself? Everything was running through my head. As they wheeled me upstairs, they pushed me to my room, passing all the beautiful newborn baby pictures on the walls, made me feel even worse thinking I’ll never be able to hold our baby girl that way.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/08/8310.html

028Megan

Mom to Jackson Davis

Born and Died February 25, 2015

Cleveland, Ohio

When you’re younger, you think about your life and whether or not you want to have children. You might already know you want them so you imagine being pregnant with your cute little bump, a lovely baby shower with your closest friends and family, and then you daydream about what your little one will be like and whether they will look like Mommy or Daddy, who they will grow up to be and so on. Never does it cross anyone’s mind that the child you have longed for, planned for, waited to welcome into this world, would be gone so quickly and there would be nothing you could do.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/04/7711.html

166738_10151522987259508_437982741_nTricia

Mom to Isabelle Skye

Stillborn February 13, 2013

Schenectady, New York

To make a long story short, I had finally conceived after 2 years of trying and was so happy, but it sadly ended in miscarriage faster than I ever imagined. I literally found out I was pregnant and lost the baby a week later. It was devastating for me . Thankfully, my husband was by my side the whole time and was very supportive. After that, we gave TTC a little break as I could not handle it emotionally. After a few months, we decided to go ahead and keep trying and two more years later, nothing still. I was starting to get discouraged and bummed out. Also my cycles started to become a little off and I would skip a month here and there, or sometimes two. Well, in September we really put all effort into this baby-making thing and we tried every day. I was drinking some herbal teas to enhance fertility and really just trying to not have any stress.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/01/6740.html

Rachel

Mom to Gracelyn, “Gracie”

Born still February 1, 2014

Allen, Texas 

I was 18 weeks pregnant when my daughter was diagnosed with Turner’s Syndrome (TS). For those of you who are unfamiliar with TS it’s the missing of all or part of the second X chromosome. My daughter also had a large Cystic Hygroma which measured 40 mm and Fetal Hydrops. The Maternal-Fetal Specialist told my husband and I that “with the combination of Cystic Hygroma coupled with Fetal Hydrops poses an extremely poor prognosis with the risk for fetal demise approaching nearly 100%.”  We were told that we would lose our baby within the next 4 weeks. Just minutes before we found out that we were expecting a little girl, moments later we find out that she would likely die. Our hearts were broken. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2014/03/6294.html

Stephanie

Mom to Gemma Grace

Born still August 14, 2012

Portland, Oregon

We tried for a year to have another child, and had two early losses that broke my heart and made me wonder if I would be able to get pregnant.

In February 2012, we had another positive pregnancy test, and began to hope a little. As things went on, my blood levels looked good, I got sick, and we were celebrating. I was sure this baby was a boy, because I felt so different than I had with my daughter. I was taking Lovenox and aspirin because of the previous losses, vitamins, and being generally as healthy and conscientious as possible. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/09/5874.html

Taylor

Mom to Bridgette Johanna Gail

Born into Heaven June 25, 2009

Arnold, California

I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant.  My boyfriend at the time and I were living paycheck to paycheck and just scraping by.  I had just made the three hour trip back to my hometown to see my doctor to get back on birth control.  My PAP was normal and the pregnancy test was negative, so I turned in my prescription at the local pharmacy and started the long trek home.  My mother was going to pick up the pills and mail them to me.  I got them about a week later and played the waiting game for my period so I could start my pack.  I was so busy and working two jobs that I didn’t even notice I was late.  One day, Brian looked at me and said, “No offense, but aren’t you supposed to be all emotional and craving chocolate right now?”  All I said was, “Oh, *shoot*!” We bought a pregnancy test, and it took all of thirty seconds to confirm what I was not ready for:  I was pregnant.  I came to him with the test with tears in my eyes.  He took me in his arms and told me not to worry, that we would be a family.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/06/5450.html

Jessica

Mom to Owen Innes Tolerba
Born still March 6, 2012

and

Payton Innes Tolerba
Born March 6, 2012 and died March 9, 2012

San Jose, California

My pregnancy with my twins began in September 2011. We found out we were having twins. I was so excited because I am a twin myself. However, I had no idea how completed twin pregnancies could be. We found out they were “monoamniotic-monochorionic” or single placenta, single amniotic sac. This meant that both twins were in one sac and their umbilical cords were at a high risk of becoming entangled. Only 1% of all identical twins are mono-mono twins. This means the embryo split later than with most identical twins (around day 6-8). This made me nervous as I had read only50-60% of mono-mono twins survive. However, I decided to continue thinking it would be o.k. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/06/5437.html

Ali

Mom to Zachary Conner

Born still on November 10, 2011 at 5:53am at 20 weeks

Due March 22, 2012

Sammamish, Washington

I prepared for nearly a year, getting my body in what I thought would be perfect condition for carrying a baby.

We were more than ready to add to our family and were extremely excited when we got pregnant the first month of trying. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/03/4862.html

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