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Heidi

Mom to Avery Rose, Everett James and Elliot William

Miscarried January 19, 2016, August 8, 2016 and Born May 29, 2017 and Died June 3, 2017

Aurora, Colorado

I completely believed we’d bring Elliot home.

I think that’s what strikes me now, on his due date, a little over two months after losing him. There is this stark contrast between what I fully believed and expected would happen, and what has actually happened. And my mind and heart cannot fully accept that Elliot will never be coming home.

This is not only the story about losing my Elliot, but about losing my faith. I tried at first to write this story without the faith aspect, but it’s impossible. I am grieving and grappling with two losses: the loss of my perfect baby boy, and the loss of the God I thought would protect him.

I will never have Elliot back in this life. But I have whispers of hope in my heart that someday faith will be a part of me again. Perhaps it is still, manifested in the anger and disappointment and confusion I feel toward God. I just don’t understand. And I can’t tell the real version of my story without sharing everything. Perhaps when I share this story in a year or five years or ten years, there will be something beautiful to share about how God met me here and healed me. But today, only two months later, there is just love and loss.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2017/08/8518.html

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Annaleace

Mom to Baby

December 19, 2016

Fountain, Colorado

This was my first pregnancy. My husband and I were so happy. We had been trying. I had started spotting two weeks before my first appointment. So like any woman would do, I went to the doctor. They checked the baby and did blood work with other kinds of labs. They said the baby was fine and I had a uti. So I went to my first appointment where they did check to make sure the baby was fine and I had to go for other labs and stuff like that.The hardest thing to hear is that your baby doesn’t have a heartbeat not just once, but multiple times. The doctor gave me no options and was really pushing for a D&C. I decided I was going to go the natural way. On January 6th at about 11:00 p.m. that night, I miscarried my precious little baby. I still have to go back to the doctor to make sure I passed everything. I have been in a lot of pain, physical and emotional. My husband has been a great support. I would never want anyone to go through this.

http://facesofloss.com/2017/01/8400.html

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Destinee

Mom to My Angel Baby

October 26, 2015

Denver, Colorado

October 26th.

The day that changed my life FOREVER.

Waking up I knew something was wrong. I felt weird. I felt off, and I was as sick as a dog hating that I had to get ready for a doctor’s appointment that day.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/12/8393.html

ashleigh

Ashleigh Singh

Mom to Scarlett Kathryn 

August 18th, 2015

Fort Collins, Colorado

 

Well, here goes nothing… I have been told by many people that writing about the death of a baby helps with the grieving process. I am skeptical that my pain will ever go away, but if someone somewhere reads this post and realizes that they are not alone in this terrible world then that makes me feel a little better. I am suffering deeply right now. I paused just then trying to find the right word. “Suffering” does not sum up what my husband and I feel. The truth is, no words can describe how we feel. Lonely, heartbroken, angry, jealous, depressed, lost-is there a word that can describe all of this and more? No. Eleven days before my due date, our lives came crashing down and we didn’t even know it. Here is our story.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/11/7973.html

Screen_Shot_2013-05-23_at_3.23.25_PMCydney

Mom to Baby Johnson

May 5, 2013

Frederick, Colorado

My husband and I had tried to conceive for 11 months before we got to see those two beautiful pink lines on a home pregnancy test. The emotional excitement and relief that we finally got pregnant was probably one of the most amazing experiences I had ever felt in my entire life. Five weeks after we got that positive pregnancy test, our lives turned a completely different direction.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7322.html

Hillary

Hillary

Mom to Liam Scott

April 9, 2007-May 17, 2007

Greeley, Colorado

After being a single mom for three years to my son, Jayden, I found myself pregnant with baby number two!  I was so excited and so happy to have another bundle of joy on the way. My first pregnancy was extremely stressful due to being on bed-rest. First for placenta previa and then for preterm labor, so my doctors were automatically on guard my second pregnancy. Things were smooth sailing until I hit 20 weeks, when I began to leak a small amount of amniotic fluid. I was put on bed-rest and put on Brethine to stop labor since contractions had started right around the time my water began to leak.
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7056.html

Jennifer

Mother to Jude Allen

December 21, 2011

Parker, Colorado

 

Jude’s Story (from my blog)
Jude was the child God had for us from the beginning. We will probably never know completely why we weren’t able to spend this life with him, but we wait with eager anticipation for the day we will all be together again in Heaven.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/05/5188.html

Jianna

Mom to Mackensie Owenn

Born still November 2, 2011

Parker, Colorado

I’ve always dreamt of having a really big family of my own, I love being around people (shocker, I know!) and I absolutely love that we have such a HUGE family now (between Brad and I, we have 5 siblings and 9 nieces and nephews).  I love watching all of the kids play with one another and knowing they will all be able to grow up together (and get into trouble together)!  I remember telling my Mom that I thought having an ‘odd’ amount of kids is better than even, why, I have no idea; I think I just always wanted more than 2, so an ‘odd’ amount sounded good to me.  When Brad and I had Jace we instantly knew that we wanted a big family- 3 to be exact!  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/04/5159.html

Tanya

Mom to Atticus Erin

Born Easter Sunday, April 24, 2011

Died November 15, 2011

Greeley, Colorado

When my daughter self-weaned at 13 months, my husband and I decided we wanted to start trying for a second baby (we wanted to wait until my daughter was finished breastfeeding before we tried). [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/04/5088.html

Karen

Mom to Tobin Robert & Miles Edward

Delivered at 16 weeks on November 16, 2011

Colorado Springs, Colorado

After a 2 ½ year struggle with infertility, we were blessed with our first pregnancy. We found out on August 22, 2011 that the IUI we did was a success! We went for our first ultrasound on September 8, 2011, our 4th wedding anniversary. My fertility specialist was surprised that it was identical twins! We were thrilled! [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/02/4741.html

Ashley

Mommy to Beckett

April 7, 2010 – August 9, 2010

Louisville, CO

After having one boy and three girls and deciding that we were done having kids… I changed my mind in the summer of 2009.  I really wanted to try one more time for a boy; my son desperately wanted a brother. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/12/4071.html

Cheryl

Mom to James Dean

Stillborn April 2, 2010

Golden, Colorado


Wow, where to start. We found out we were pregnant with our son in late August of 2009, just after our daughter turned 4. Once we found out we were having a boy we were very excited. We ended up getting some upsetting news in December, just before Christmas. I was at work and got a call from the Doctor saying that the blood tests came back showing that our son had Downs Syndrome. They scheduled me to do an amniocentesis not long after that. We went to have the test done and they were still confident he had Downs Syndrome. In my heart, even still to this day, I do not believe he did have it. Its not just me wishing and hoping that he didnt, it is a gut feeling (call it mothers instinct.) Right away my kids’ father thought we should get an abortion because of him being diagnosed with Downs Syndrome. But the way that I am, I was not going to go for that. I’m the type that no matter what, I will give the baby a chance at life and not take it from them no matter what happens. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3748.html

Grace

Mother to angel Donna Rose

October 28th, 2010

Mission, South Dakota

My pregnancy was very uneventful, for the most part.

We were living in Greeley, CO. Even before I knew I was pregnant, I had nausea every day. My husband (then my fiance), Ben, was delighted the day I walked out of the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/3039.html

Shannon

Mom to Sean Edward

and Johnathon Ray

Missed Miscarriage – November 2009

and Chemical Pregnancy – July 2011

Colorado Springs, Colorado

In identical multiple pregnancies, there is one placenta and multiple umbilical cords. Each cord holds either two or three blood vessels, and carries blood and nutrients to each baby.

In Twin to Twin Transfusion, one baby (the recipient) has one of the other baby’s (the donor) blood vessels in their umbilical cord. This can also be caused by the babies sharing unequal parts of the placenta. Because of the unequal sharing of nutrients, the donor baby grows rapidly faster than the donor, and a size difference is usually the first indication that TTTS is taking place.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/3027.html

Hollie

Mom to an Angel

Miscarried through Ectopic Pregnancy on July 8th, 2011

Aurora, Colorado

I would be 15 weeks pregnant today.  I’m not sure how I feel about this.  I keep looking at my belly expecting to feel flutters, but I know that this will not happen. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/2986.html

Angela

Mom to Lily Rose Lambert

Stillborn yet still born, April 22, 2011

Durango, Colorado

Lily Rose Lambert, stillborn yet still born, April 22, 2011.  This date marks perhaps the most tender moment of my life, a stillbirth I was certain wouldn’t happen, not if Lily’s fighting spirit were anything like mine.  And boy did she give a good fight!  My name is Angela and I’m 41 years old, mother to Lily Rose.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/08/2928.html

Mary Brown

Mom to Cash James Brown

November 7, 2010

Northglenn, Colorado

 

Cash’s story begins July 2010.  My husband and I had been talking about adding to the family for about a year prior to then.  We already had a six year old daughter (my step-daughter whom I consider my own) and figured it was about time to add to the family.  Now, anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge planner, and the thought of having another child and changing what had been routine for so long terrified me.  We decided instead of actually trying to have a baby we would just “not try not to.”  Somehow that seemed to calm my fears a little bit and made things less stressful.  My husband and I both figured it would take a few months to get pregnant since I had been on birth control for so long.  [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/08/2777.html

Alyssa

Mom to Paxton Lucas

June 3, 2011

Commerce City, CO

 

My husband and I had been trying to conceive for a few months and I had been having some cycle abnormalities and had a HSG scheduled for early October 2010 as well as a prescription for clomid to take in October.  Well to our surprise we got a BFP on September 27th 2010. It was a very faint positive but a positive none the less and we were ecstatic. I had always wanted 2 children close in age and we would be getting our wish, 2 kids 22 months apart, everything was going to be perfect. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/07/2449.html

 

Sarah
Mom to Noah Robert Wilkerson
June 26th, 2009 – June 30th, 2009
Colorado Springs, Colorado

The story of our family began on my 30th birthday. It was about that time, that after six years of marriage, my husband Chris and I finally began to feel baby fever. We threw a huge birthday party to celebrate this new decade of life for me with all our family and friends. Meanwhile, we secretly celebrated an end to life being only about just the two of us, and the beginning of an exciting new chapter of parenthood. What felt like two seconds later, I was pregnant. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/03/750.html

Melissa
Mom to “Baby”
Lost at 19 weeks 2 days, August 4th, 2010
Fort Collins, Colorado
WARNING: This is the TRUE story of my pregnancy journey and the grief and loss that ensued. This is not for the faint of heart.

I lost my first pregnancy on my mother’s birthday, at 6 weeks. 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/02/713.html

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