2015-04-07-14-16-10-922

Alyssa
Mommy to Messiah
04/01/2015
Buffalo, NY

About four and a half months ago [at time of writing] at 18 weeks I lost my son due to an infection called chorioamnionitis. I was told at one of my pre natal appointments I had the group b strep bacteria in my vagina, but they could not give me anything until I was in labor. About a month after I had my miscarriage, the doctor told me the infection is what caused my water to break early. The group b strep is what caused the chorioamnionitis. Finding out the physical cause of why I lost my son helped a little. The doctor described the probability of the infection as ‘bad luck’ and ‘ rare’. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/08/7866.html

Faces of LossKrystal

Mother to Conner Timothy & Benjamin Michael

Born and lost on January 10, 2014

Illinois

I look at pictures of myself while I was pregnant, just a short 5 months ago [at time of writing]. I can’t help but think that I was so young back then; I have hardly aged since the pictures were last taken, but my heart now bears the weight of what seems like a million losses. It took nearly two years for my husband and I to get pregnant. Our babies were the fruition of the emotional and physical turmoil of IVF, and they were taken from us.  And yet, they were worth every single second of despair and frustration.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/6972.html

Cassie

Mom to Isaac Lee
Miscarried April 4, 2011
(EDD August 24, 2011)

and

Kinslee Nicole
Born and died February 24, 2012
(EDD June 29, 2012) 

Crooksville, Ohio

June 22, 2012. This was supposed to be one of the greatest days of our lives. Instead it will be another day out of the year that’s filled with tears and sadness for my husband and I. This is our story. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/03/4942.html

Susan
Mom to 
Jordan Donise, July 27th, 1996
Alexander Michael, May 28th, 1997
Alisia Noelle, November 27th, 2009
and Gabriel Ryan, September 7th, 2010
Lilburn, Georgia

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/418.html

Rhiannon
Mom to Harper Grace
Born too early on June 25th, 2010
Columbus, GA


Our daughter, Harper Grace, was born prematurely at 26 weeks and 1 day due to preterm labor caused by an infection of my placenta and amniotic sac called chorioamnionitis. It is a very rare infection, only affecting 2% of pregnancies. This infection can be fatal to mother and child, the only cure is delivery. Most premature infants with this infection will not live long after birth.

Here is the story of Harper’s birth taken from my blog:
My hubby and I had been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant. We had finally given up on natural methods and were scheduled for an IVF in March. January was to be our “month off” before we started the IVF process. We decided to take a week and go to the Bahamas to relax. Two weeks later, I discovered that I was pregnant and naturally so. As you can imagine, we were in total shock and disbelief when we saw the positive pregnancy test! Our prayers had finally been answered, this was our miracle baby!

Up until my 25th week I had the most wonderful, uneventful pregnancy. My girl was healthy and I was loving it. Maybe my body took a little while to get here, but I truly felt that I was made to have babies. I was a part of a miracle, growing a life inside of me. A baby that my husband and I created out of so much love. Life was so good!

At 25 weeks exactly, on my birthday, I started spotting and cramping. We were in DC on vacation and were told by my OB to go to the nearest ER. They worked me up and decided that I was just having premature contractions since my cervix had not changed. We decided to cut vacation short and go straight home, we didn’t want to take any chances with our little one. The whole drive home from the airport I was having painful contractions about every 3 min. We went straight to our hospital and I was admitted. I was put on procardia and when I broke through with that, I was put on a Magnesium drip to stop the contractions and to get steroids on board. At this point, my cervix was still closed but I was 80% effaced. I was to be on strict bed rest in the hospital for as long as our Harper would stay put. Hubby kept calling me the “little red hen” sitting on my egg. I had no signs of infection, just an elevated white blood count. They were really not sure what caused the premature labor, maybe placental seperation, maybe infection…no real answers. We would just have to wait and see. The whole time I was in the hospital, Harper was doing wonderful…strong heartbeat, great movement. We were confident that she was a strong girl and that she would do well if she came early! I stuck it out on bed rest in the hospital for a week and then on Thursday night, I started contracting again…3 min apart. Friday am they put in the epidural. I was contracting hard core at this point and dilating. We were still supposed to hang out, wait and see, try to keep her inside as long as we could. Then we lost her heart beat and when we found it, it was extremely low (90’s). We decided we had to deliver her. When they broke my water, it was meconium stained (meaning fetal distress). This was the scariest moment of my life, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I didn’t believe it was real, how could we lose the heartbeat? She had been so strong until now.

I delivered our daughter, Harper Grace, on June 25, 2010, at 2:39 on a Friday afternoon. I could tell by my husbands face that she didn’t look good when she came out. I will never forget the look on his face that day, so sad, so devastated, so lost. The NICU team tried to resuscitate her but she was too weak. I can still hear the sound of them trying to breathe for her, the silence was so painful, I wanted so badly to hear her cry. I prayed she would be ok, I screamed. How could this be real? I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare…she was gone and so were our hopes and dreams. How could this be happening? I would have given anything for her and I still would to have her in my arms.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/99.html

Michelle
Mom to Audrey
September 10th, 2009-September 11th, 2009
Demoines, Iowa

It was 6 am Sunday morning when I woke abruptly. As my water broke I rushed to the bathroom thinking, “this is too early, oh God no no no, it’s too soon for this!” That was September 6th. I was 24 weeks 6 days pregnant. So, off we went to the hospital and my life was forever changed – just like that, in a matter of seconds.

When my husband, Jamie, baby and I arrived I was examined and admitted due to premature rupture of membranes. I had no infection that caused the rupture according to blood cultures, and at this point it is only speculation that my cervix may be incompetent. I was told, “this will be your new home here at the hospital until this baby decides he/she is ready to be born.” (We didn’t know we were having a girl, because she wouldn’t un-cross her legs during her ultrasound.) All we could do was wait and pray that she stayed inside the womb. Which meant I was on strictly bed rest, which I was not fond of, but I was full of hope and optimistic about my baby being a miracle. I was willing to do whatever it took like any mother -to -be would.

We were given milestones to meet, the first was 48 hours. I was given steroid shots in the bum (ouuucch) those first two days to help with lung development. We made it and we were so relieved. After all, that’s what the perinatologist told us was so important for her survival. We continued on with such confidence and we reached 25 weeks…Monday came and went, then Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Thursday at about noon I got a headache I didn’t think much of, why would I? I’d been laying in this hospital bed for days now, my back felt achy and my neck was tense. I remember visiting with my dad, we were sitting there sharing our hopes and dreams for the future as we watched a building being constructed across from the hospital. I had no doubt that I would be taking this child that was inside of me not only home, but out and about-to the mall. Anyway, I had a second visitor as my dad was leaving, a dear friend who brought me some comfy maternity sweats for my anticipated long stay. As I visited with her I started to feel as though something in my body was making a turn down a one way street. As she left I called the nurse, I was beginning to get ill and go into labor. My nurse called the OB on duty, who called the Peri.

At 6:59 September 10th our sweet baby girl was born. I had a c section because she was breach. The peri warned me the day I was admitted that a c section would be necessary if “baby” didn’t drop into position by time of delivery. I was prepared for that mentally, however, since I believed I would beat the odds and continue to carry her closer to her due date I really thought I wouldn’t end up with this scar I will forever carry. (In more ways than one). With that said the OB came into my room just before they prepped me for surgery and said, “If you want we can try vaginal because baby is so small.” I said no because I was sure that she would die before delivery if we “tried” vaginal. I was afraid of the toll the infection was taking on our baby, her heart rate was very sporatic on the monitor. Having the surgery seemed my only way of saving her.

So, there I was laying on the table in the OR looking into my husband’s eyes when I heard the OB say,”You have a girl.” It was not the joyous exclamation that Hollywood portrays. His tone reflected what we were all thinking…” possibly just for now.” I didn’t get to hold her, hear her cry or even look her over to see that all her parts were perfectly made. Instead a team of experts worked to secure our daughter’s place in this world and I was taken back to my room to “recover.” I told Jamie to stay with Audrey and don’t worry about me, just update me whenever he could.

So, he did. I vaguely remember what order the updates came, thanks to morphine. The first obstacle – she had a blood clot in her umbilical cord where they needed to put a tube; they would continue to work, until they were successful and indeed they got through it. I was told at one point she wasn’t getting much oxygen to her blood though she was hooked to a ventilator, then she turned around. She started to slip at another point and Jamie signed a consent to do a blood transfusion because she was fighting the same infection that sent me into labor. All the while I was trying to wiggle my toes-I’d be able to go see her when I could. I never wanted to simply wiggle my toes so bad in my whole life. I was scared and I was numb emotionally as well as physically.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/79.html

 

Melissa
Mommy to Laken Taylor Johnson
Born an angel on April 08, 2010 at 22 weeks
Kentucky

 

Though a flower may not bloom,
In our heart, we still know,
The beauty of its blossom.
So it is with this tiny someone… [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/7.html

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