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Theresa

Mom to Adrienne Rose

November 10, 2013 – November 11, 2013

Glendale, Arizona

If I had to describe child loss using a word, my word would be painful.

And not like I broke my arm and it was painful or my pet passed away and it was painful; this pain is actually quite indescribable. You know when people describe their sadness and say they are “heartbroken,” well let me tell you, the moment I lost my sweet Adrienne, I literally felt my heart break. I felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest. I felt like I couldn’t breath and I remember asking myself, how am I supposed to live the rest of my life without my child? I questioned my faith, I remember crying to my husband and telling him how sorry I was, and how unfair it was because I wanted her so bad. I loved her.  She had been apart of me, of us for 26 weeks and the only time I ever got to hold her in my arms, was to say goodbye. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2016/09/8337.html

meJen

Mom to Lydia

March 15, 2014

Dedham, Massachusetts

We were going to call her Itty, Bitty, Liddie. Her real name was Lydia Mae. She was perfect! It’s funny how when you become pregnant, your imagination runs wild. You think about what they will look like and whose personality they will have. What funny things will they do? All of it. But you never imagine, what if they don’t make it? What if we lose our child? At least that’s one thing I didn’t imagine. How does anyone get through that? Well, Kevin and I have to. We lost Lydia when I was 26 weeks pregnant. It was our worst nightmare and something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7330.html

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Katrina

Mom to Tremayne Lewis Randolph Parker, Jr. “TJ”

March 28, 2014 – May 1, 2014

Millsboro, DE

On March 28, 2014, at 4:34PM, my husband and I became proud parents of a beautiful baby boy, Tremayne Lewis Randolph Parker, Jr affectionately known as TJ. TJ was born 26 weeks premature, through emergency c-section, weighing 1lb 2.69oz. He has delivered at Christiana Hospital and was a patient in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) until he passed away in my arms on the morning of May, 1, 2014.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7218.html

SamieraSamiera

Mom to “Boy”

February 9, 2013

KwaZulu Natal, South Africa

My husband and I had been planning on having a baby since January 2012. After months of trying and trying, I found out through taking a blood test at my local GP that I was about three weeks pregnant in September 2012. My husband and I were overjoyed!!! From then on I took all the necessary precautions, vitamins, etc… At the eight week check-up, we got to see our baby for the first time, this little growing, developing embryo that had already given us so much of joy! It was an emotional experience and I’ll never forget that day.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2015/02/7092.html

Sara

Mom to Isla

Born sleeping July 13, 2012

Plymouth, United Kingdom

So our baby girl was born forever sleeping on Friday 13th July 2012 at 23.52, weighing 2lb 1oz. She was so beautiful and we named her Isla, a beautiful name.

Briefly – We went to hospital about ten pm on Wednesday 11th July after getting worried about reduced movements and lack of weeing. Tried to listen to heartbeat but nothing. Did scan and no hb. Between Tuesday (when had mw appt and heard hb) and and Wednesday our little girl died. She was 26 weeks that Thursday. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/08/5776.html

Abby

Mom to Jonah Bentley Willis
Born still February 1, 2012

and

Harper Bailey Willis
October 18, 2012 – October 19, 2012

Moultrie, Georgia

I was 26 weeks and 4 days pregnant with my first child. My husband, Aaron, had been out of town for a National Sales Convention for work. I went to Dr. Bruhn on Tuesday, January 24 for my scheduled appointment. This was the only appointment that Aaron had not been able to make so Sarah, my twin sister, went with me. At this appointment I had to do the whole glucose tolerance test thing and I was thrilled when the nurse told me that my blood sugar levels and hemoglobin were both perfect. Dr. Bruhn got out her hand-held Doppler and listened to Jonah’s heart beat at 150 beats per minute. She assured me that everything looked great and she would see me back in four weeks. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/07/5660.html

Kelly

Mom to Faith Elizabeth and Grace Katherine
Stillborn November 3, 1996 at 26 weeks’ gestation

and

Thomas Patrick
Born and died July 14, 1998

Ohio

Tim and I were married in March of 1994. We had a son, Timothy. Two years into our marriage, I was expecting again…and there were many surprises…First of all, everything was different with this pregnancy…there was more fatigue, more nausea, more belly, and more “stretching pains”. At our first ultrasound appointment around 6-8 weeks, the doctor confirmed, after a series of disconcerting “Hmmmms…” that we were expecting TWINS. I had a slight panic attack on the table, immediately overwhelmed with all the additional concerns and possible complications that could come with a twin pregnancy. Tim’s twenty-year-old face was covered in shock, bewilderment, and stunned excitement. I staggered my way off the examining table, and once safely behind the curtain, I began to change out of the napkin gown we ladies wear at the OB, and the fears started to emerge in the form of tears, which gave way to sobs. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/06/5545.html

Kayce

Mom to Ben Harrington Butler: November 6, 2007

&

Brady Winston Butler: November 6, 2007–March 29, 2008

Nashville, Tennessee

I was told from the time I was a teenager with irregular periods that I may need some help getting pregnant in the future.  I got married when I was 25 and from the first day of our marriage we never did anything to prevent pregnancy as I knew it might take a while.  After a couple of years and several unsuccessful rounds of Clomid, I was sent to a fertility doctor to take more drastic steps. I was diagnosed with PCOS and needed fertility meds to help me ovulate. The first fertility doctor I went to told me that I needed to do invitro fertilization. We did and I did not get pregnant and ended up in the hospital for hyperstimulation.  It was a horrible experience and the doctor was just awful to me. I finally went to another fertility doctor when I was 28 and he told me that he thought IUI and fertility injections would work just fine for me. So we tried IUI with the lowest dose of the meds available and I got pregnant on the first try. However, once I finally got pregnant —-I got really pregnant! My first ultrasound revealed that I was pregnant with triplets. We were so happy, excited, and scared all at the same time. I was sent to a high risk pregnancy doctor and our journey began. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/12/4289.html

Christy

Mom to Mary Elizabeth

March 30th, 2011

Manhattan, Kansas

We first found out something was wrong at our 20 week anatomy scan. The sonographer suddenly got very quiet, but I was so busy looking at my beautiful girl that I didn’t really notice. When she asked if we had an appointment with our OB that day, I knew there was a problem. Mary had a few abnormalities and she wasn’t swallowing the way a baby at that stage of gestation should. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/10/3404.html

Carmen

Mom to Ryan

Born and Died on April 22nd, 2002 at 26 weeks

Allan

Born and Died on January 19th, 2003 at 23 weeks

and Ethan

Born at 32 weeks on May 10th and Died May 12th due to a heart defect


I am the mother of 3 angels and my last angel died 2 weeks ago.  My story starts 9 years ago when I had my first son Ryan.  When we found out I was pregnant, I was 3 months along and told our family at a restaurant where we had lunch, everyone was ecstatic to hear our news.  I can recall that it was a good pregnancy, no problems and all was going well until 18th April (Good Friday) evening at 11:50pm when I suddenly felt the urge to go to the toilet, which I did and to my horror, saw a thick mucus discharge with blood,  my husband took  me to the Medi-clinic emergency room immediately, where they admitted me as they suspected I was in labour, they put me on the monitor and had a look at my cervix which was not fully dilated yet.  All was going okay during the night and when the OB/GYN came early Saturday morning, she discovered that I was 7 cm dilated and immediately put me on meds to prevent the cervix from dilating further.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/06/2125.html

Elvisay

Mom to Baby Boy, Stillborn in the 7th month of pregnancy

and Baby Girl, Stillborn at 26 weeks

Miami, Florida

My name is Elvisay Vazquez, 51 years old, and I have lost two babies in stillbirth.

One happened when I was 25 years old, and  at 7th month pregnancy. His heart stopped and the doctor didn’t say why it happened. Then I changed to another doctor, got pregnant again and had a boy, with a very tough treatment of heparin during 6 months, twice a day and a lot of stress. He was born perfectly, with no problems at all, thanks God!. Now he is 24 years old. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/05/1742.html

Carrie

Mom to Edy Charlotte

August 31st, 2010 – September 16th, 2010

Germantown, Tennesssee

 

This is a brief recollection of Edy’s story, I will be adding more details when I remember them, and can see to type past all of the painful tears that sting my eyes like battery acid. You may or may not personally know me, you may see me smile, you may see me cry, you might see me in the grocery store with a blank stare on my face… if you do, this is the reason why. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/04/1131.html

Tiffany
Mom to Linus Michel
October 15th, 2010
American living in Germany
My name is Tiffany. I am an American living in Germany, have two sons, and have just had my 5th angel baby.  Previous pregnancies have all ended around the 8 week mark, except for one previously that ended at 14 weeks as a missed miscarriage. My husband and I have gotten through so much in the past 5 years, that it doesn’t even seem real at some points.  I would like to share my story with my most recent loss, my angel Linus Michel.


[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/02/672.html

Lanie
Mom to Jake and Sawyer
Jake, August 14, 2005 – August 27, 2005
Sawyer, November 17, 2009 – December 26, 2009
Atlanta, Georgia
 
I am a mother of four. Two of my children share a room down the hall from my room. Two of my children share a plot in a cemetery which is fifteen minutes from our home.

“A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his/her parents is called an orphan. But there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that’s how awful the loss is!” (Neugeboren)
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/01/665.html

Molly
Mother to Audrina Capri Williams
Born on June 23rd, 2010 and grew her wings an hour later
Edmund, OK
The past few months have been more than a crazy roller coaster ride. There are no words to express the pain/joy/hurt/happiness I have been through. I guess I am ready to share my story and I hope to bring others hope and peace. Losing a baby is one of the most devastating things any mother can go through. From the time that you see that test that says positive, you are a mother. But, my story is a little different…


On January 25, 2010 I picked up my first pregnancy test. Scared.out.of.my.mind. I kept telling myself there is no way, nooo way. Right? Well, hmm… maybe I am. So I sucked it up took the test and….

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/01/638.html

Cally
Mom to Baby Boy lost July 26, 2007
and Serenity Morgyn 
July 11th, 2010
Talladega, Alabama
 
July 2007, I had been on what I thought was my period for about 2 months. I didn’t think much of it because I have irregular periods. One day I started cramping really bad. Shane called the ambulance and I was taken to the ER. To make a long story short I was pregnant, and having a miscarriage. They did a DNC and cleaned me out. I was devastated. I had never thought about becoming a mother before, but this changed the whole game. I had been pregnant- and didn’t even get to have my baby! Life was NOT FAIR!

Fast forward 3 years later, July 10th 2010. It had been a wonderful day, except my boyfriend, Shane, had to work which was nothing new. Six months pregnant, and loving every second of it. I spent most of the day talking to my baby, a girl named Serenity. She was my world and I loved ever second with her in it. I loved every move she made, and I was loving the fact she was a SHE. At some point during the day I made a picture for her using the “Paint” application on mine, and everyone else in the world’s computer to put as my desktop wallpaper.

I was so excited about finally becoming a mother. I went on with the rest of my daily routine as normal. When Shane got home from work we made our trip to the REDBOX and I was noticing the whole way there Serenity was very active, kicking hard in the lower regions of my body (if you know what I mean). I didn’t think much of it except it was annoying and she was going to end up being a soccer player when she got older. We made it home with our movie, and Serenity finally started to calm down a bit. Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, and Rachael McAdams. We watched the movie, got finished with it about 9:00pm. Shane had to work the next day so after the movie he talked to Serenity, told her he loved her, gave her a kiss and kissed me, then rolled over to go to sleep. By that time I had started cramping, which I tried to pass of to be Braxton Hicks (and was complaining about them on twitter). I just could not for the life of me get comfortable.

I kept tossing and turning in the bed, keeping Shane awake. He turned over to me and asked me if I was okay and if I needed him to take me to the hospital. I told him yeah I was okay, I was cramping but it was probably growing pains or Braxton Hicks (I figured it was probably about time for them to start at almost 26 weeks), and I was going to take some tylenol and soak in the tub to see if they would let up (I didn’t want to go to the hospital and them tell me I was dumb, it was just braxton hicks and send me home). He told me if I needed him to yell for him.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/325.html

Julie
Mom to Alistair Magnus
Stillborn on June 5th, 2010
Portage, MI
It was supposed to be a regular check-up at 26 weeks.  It was supposed to be my entry into my 3rd trimester.  It was supposed to be a day that I cried a little at hearing my baby’s heartbeat with my husband and then raced to get fresh strawberries (of which my baby was made), and went to a book sale at our public library.  It was not supposed to be the day that my midwife couldn’t find his heartbeat.  It was that moment where my day spiraled downward into a horror movie.

The doppler had been having an easier and easier time picking up my baby’s heartbeat, and so when my midwife couldn’t find it, I began to worry.  Since my baby was a little monkey inside of me, the midwife wasn’t too concerned.  She went to get the sonogram machine and tried it that way, but all she could see was the back of my baby’s head.  She called in the doctor who sat down on the edge of the exam table and took my hand and told me that my baby “was in an unusual position”.  I was whisked off to the ultrasound room where the same woman who did his 20 week ultrasound found his heart again, but this time it was no longer beating.  “Now what?” I asked.  “You need to go to the hospital to delivery your baby.”

I hadn’t read up on labor and delivery, I hadn’t yet taken lamaze, I hadn’t yet even had my tour of the hospital, but here I was, en route to the hospital to delivery my baby after a call to my parents who rushed into their car for the two and a half hour drive to the hospital.  I was given a room at the end of the hall with a leaf to symbolize loss.  At 7:00pm, I was induced.  At 9:00pm, I went into labor, even though I didn’t even know it at the time.  By 7:00am, I definitely knew I was in labor.  Nothing seemed to help, because I couldn’t bring myself to do anything that I normally would have done, such as take walks proudly in the hall, or dance around the room.  Nothing seemed to help, and no, I did not want an epidural.  I wanted to experience the fullness of this birth on my own.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/08/167.html

Rhiannon
Mom to Harper Grace
Born too early on June 25th, 2010
Columbus, GA


Our daughter, Harper Grace, was born prematurely at 26 weeks and 1 day due to preterm labor caused by an infection of my placenta and amniotic sac called chorioamnionitis. It is a very rare infection, only affecting 2% of pregnancies. This infection can be fatal to mother and child, the only cure is delivery. Most premature infants with this infection will not live long after birth.

Here is the story of Harper’s birth taken from my blog:
My hubby and I had been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant. We had finally given up on natural methods and were scheduled for an IVF in March. January was to be our “month off” before we started the IVF process. We decided to take a week and go to the Bahamas to relax. Two weeks later, I discovered that I was pregnant and naturally so. As you can imagine, we were in total shock and disbelief when we saw the positive pregnancy test! Our prayers had finally been answered, this was our miracle baby!

Up until my 25th week I had the most wonderful, uneventful pregnancy. My girl was healthy and I was loving it. Maybe my body took a little while to get here, but I truly felt that I was made to have babies. I was a part of a miracle, growing a life inside of me. A baby that my husband and I created out of so much love. Life was so good!

At 25 weeks exactly, on my birthday, I started spotting and cramping. We were in DC on vacation and were told by my OB to go to the nearest ER. They worked me up and decided that I was just having premature contractions since my cervix had not changed. We decided to cut vacation short and go straight home, we didn’t want to take any chances with our little one. The whole drive home from the airport I was having painful contractions about every 3 min. We went straight to our hospital and I was admitted. I was put on procardia and when I broke through with that, I was put on a Magnesium drip to stop the contractions and to get steroids on board. At this point, my cervix was still closed but I was 80% effaced. I was to be on strict bed rest in the hospital for as long as our Harper would stay put. Hubby kept calling me the “little red hen” sitting on my egg. I had no signs of infection, just an elevated white blood count. They were really not sure what caused the premature labor, maybe placental seperation, maybe infection…no real answers. We would just have to wait and see. The whole time I was in the hospital, Harper was doing wonderful…strong heartbeat, great movement. We were confident that she was a strong girl and that she would do well if she came early! I stuck it out on bed rest in the hospital for a week and then on Thursday night, I started contracting again…3 min apart. Friday am they put in the epidural. I was contracting hard core at this point and dilating. We were still supposed to hang out, wait and see, try to keep her inside as long as we could. Then we lost her heart beat and when we found it, it was extremely low (90’s). We decided we had to deliver her. When they broke my water, it was meconium stained (meaning fetal distress). This was the scariest moment of my life, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I didn’t believe it was real, how could we lose the heartbeat? She had been so strong until now.

I delivered our daughter, Harper Grace, on June 25, 2010, at 2:39 on a Friday afternoon. I could tell by my husbands face that she didn’t look good when she came out. I will never forget the look on his face that day, so sad, so devastated, so lost. The NICU team tried to resuscitate her but she was too weak. I can still hear the sound of them trying to breathe for her, the silence was so painful, I wanted so badly to hear her cry. I prayed she would be ok, I screamed. How could this be real? I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare…she was gone and so were our hopes and dreams. How could this be happening? I would have given anything for her and I still would to have her in my arms.
[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/99.html

Kristin
Mom to Stevie Joy
Stillborn on May 8th, 2010

Minneapolis, MN  

Stevie Joy was stillborn on May 8th, 2010, at 26 weeks, after a beautiful and perfectly uncomplicated pregnancy. She died as a result of blood clots in her umbilical cord. It has since been determined that I have two rare genetic blood clotting disorders: MTHFR and PA-1. It’s now been 10 weeks since my daughter died, and although the sadness is still there all the time, it’s becoming less and less crushing and all-consuming.

This is a letter to my daughter about her birthday:

Precious little Stevie Joy,
It breaks my heart to have to type this, but I want to remember your first and only birthday forever. You are so special to me and your dad. You will always be our first little girl, and we will love you forever. You made me a mother, a better person, and I know you will always be a part of me until the day I die. I love you so much it hurts.

Here it goes. On Friday morning I called the doctor’s office because I hadn’t been feeling your little kicks I had become so used to feeling for the last day or so. I wasn’t too worried, but I was hoping for some reassurance and peace of mind. I didn’t even bring Dad with me to the appointment because I really thought I was surely over-reacting. I let work know I was going in for a quick check-up, but shouldn’t be more than 30 minutes late.

When the doctor walked in, she looked a bit surprised to see me (my last appointment was just over a week ago, and everything looked great!) “What’s going on?” She asked. “I just haven’t been feeling her move for over 24 hours, so I called and they said I could come in for a quick check. I’m sure I’m just a paranoid first-time mom,” I said. The doctor then had me hop up on the chair for a listen with the doppler. I expected to hear the comforting sound of your little heart, like I have so many times before. She moved the doppler around my belly for what seemed like forever. A couple times she thought she picked you up, but then discovered it was actually my own pulse she was hearing. I started to get a little nervous. “I don’t want to torture you,” the doctor said, “let’s go down to the ultrasound room for a quick look.”

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/6.html

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