Angela

Mom to three angels:

Caden – November 2003

Skylar – January 2008

Alex – February 2009

Lynchburg, Virginia

My name is Angela & I am the proud Mommy of 3 angels. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2012/03/4929.html

Diane

Mom to William and Nathaniel Feb 1 1995

Emma and Elizabeth June 30th 1997
Baby “P” June 1999
Edan William August 16 2000
Esik Nathaniel March 15 2002
Ellanor November 22 2003
British Columbia, CA

I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I didn’t believe it when my doctor told me, I even  told her it was impossible.  I had suffered ovarian cysts for some time and I honestly didn’t think I would ever be able to conceive.  I was also bleeding while my Dr told me from what I believed to be my period. My Dr ordered another urine sample pregnancy test and it came back positive again.  My boyfriend was 21, we were scared. My Dr gave me the advice to have an abortion and I refused. I went home and took it easy waiting for the bleeding to stop. The bleeding would calm when I was laying  down but once I sat up I would bleed again. At 10 weeks I had a huge bleeding spell and went to the ER. I had a very hard time getting the staff to stop suggesting a D&C. I had an ultrasound that showed I had a very tilted uterus and surprise I had TWINS. Shock set it very quickly. I had always dreamed of having twins but how on earth could I have two babies at my age?

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/11/3524.html

Jana

Mom to Charlie

Born May 21st, 2003

Died June 14th, 2003

Dunwoody, Georgia

Charlie’s Story 

On May 11, 2003, I was the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding. It was hot, I was dressed in purple (and resembled a lilac Barney), had cankles the size of my thighs and was downright miserable. It was a very happy day but I was a painfully pregnant woman who was ready for it to be over. But I was only 34 weeks pregnant (or close to it). [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/09/3071.html

Jennifer

Mom to Baby O # 1, 1997
Baby O # 2, 2002
Baby O # 3, 2003
and Joseph Anthony, 9/11/2010
Boonton, NJ

Since I was a young child I always wanted to be a mother.  Within a year of our marriage I was saying to my husband a saying I would say for five years until we had the funds to have one it was “Lets have a baby”.  I never dreamed that anything would ever go wrong and that it was pretty easy “to have a baby”.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/08/2752.html

Carmen

Mom to Ryan

Born and Died on April 22nd, 2002 at 26 weeks

Allan

Born and Died on January 19th, 2003 at 23 weeks

and Ethan

Born at 32 weeks on May 10th and Died May 12th due to a heart defect


I am the mother of 3 angels and my last angel died 2 weeks ago.  My story starts 9 years ago when I had my first son Ryan.  When we found out I was pregnant, I was 3 months along and told our family at a restaurant where we had lunch, everyone was ecstatic to hear our news.  I can recall that it was a good pregnancy, no problems and all was going well until 18th April (Good Friday) evening at 11:50pm when I suddenly felt the urge to go to the toilet, which I did and to my horror, saw a thick mucus discharge with blood,  my husband took  me to the Medi-clinic emergency room immediately, where they admitted me as they suspected I was in labour, they put me on the monitor and had a look at my cervix which was not fully dilated yet.  All was going okay during the night and when the OB/GYN came early Saturday morning, she discovered that I was 7 cm dilated and immediately put me on meds to prevent the cervix from dilating further.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/06/2125.html

Jo

Mom to 4 angles due to miscarriage

July 2000 (7wks), October 2001 (11 1/2 weeks), August 2003 (5 weeks), August 2007 (6weeks)

 

I never knew if I could get pregnant.  I knew I had endometriosis. I used to tell people I did not know if we wanted children, but oh, we wanted a baby so bad.  Imagine my surprise when I was pregnant just weeks after our wedding.  However, deep down, I knew immediately something wasn’t right. At the time there really wasn’t a way to know- no pain or anything. It was just a feeling.  About a week after I found out I was pregnant I began spotting. I was living in a new town and did not have a doctor but I called one to make an appointment.  I was told it was normal to spot. It didn’t feel normal, but noboday seemed to care.  Of course, it would not have mattered even if I could have seen the doctor.  I spotted for well over a week, maybe two.  One rainy, late summer morning I woke up and knew that was it.  I knew that day would be the end of our pregnancy.  I asked my husband to look up directions to the nearest ER and we drove.  I screamed and cried as it all came to end. I shook with fear and sadness so deep I thought I would never escape.

http://facesofloss.com/2011/06/1947.html

Michelle

Mom to Karley Jean Homan-Martin

October 16th, 2003

Crestwood, Illinois

I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, a mother of three beautiful healthy children.  My boyfriend and I had an unexpected pregnancy.  I, being only 18 when we found out, was a little nervous at first.  After it settled in and it became more routine to talk about the pregnancy started to be happy about it. 2-23-04 was my due date. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2011/05/1753.html

Jolene
Mom to
Baby Roth, June 2003
Aiden Robert, July 2, 2004
Centerville, Minnesota
 
Soon after our first wedding anniversary, we became pregnant. We were ecstatic! We were in the process of buying our first home and couldn’t wait to start a family.

The day after we moved into our home, we had our 10 week doctor appointment and we were thrilled at knowing that we would be able to hear our child’s heart beat for the first time. We entered the doctor’s office with great anticipation. We were devastated to learn that there was no heartbeat. We went home with broken hearts. I had had a missed miscarriage. Something I had never heard of before. The months that followed were a blur of tears and heartache. I felt as though all of my hopes and dreams had been ripped away from me.
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/11/571.html

Vickie
Mom to 
Abigail Frances Bacon, born still at term December 6th, 2003
and Anne Elise Bacon, born April 28th, 2005, died June 28th, 2005
Albuquerque, New Mexico
I’m Vickie, 48 & married since 1985. We have a grown son, who defied the odds & was born in 1986. I had a D&C later that autumn to resolve a miscarriage that didn’t resolve on its own.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/11/554.html

Chrystie
Mom to Alyssa Marie Sams
April 30th, 2003
Bentonville, Arkansas
On April 30, 2003, I lost my precious baby girl, Alyssa. Ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted babies. 
My time came, and left with a pain almost unbearable. 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/465.html

Susie
Mom to Baby Wells, January 24th, 2003
and Avery Gayle Wells, July 13th, 2005
Tomball, Texas
In 2002 we decided to have another baby. My youngest of 2 had been such a handful that we waited awhile to have another. Nov 02 I stopped taking my bc pills. We figured we’d give it some time to get them out of my system and then aim for getting pregnant in January. We wanted an October baby!
 
I ended up getting pregnant right away and the baby was due in August. Around 8 weeks I started spotting and at 10 weeks Jan 24, 2003, I miscarried. I cried for months. Actually I cried till I got pregnant again in June 03 and on March 15, 2004 I gave birth to a perfect little boy.. Max!

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/463.html

Kerry
Mom to Grace Biondi Morlan
Born still, May 19th, 2003
Des Moines, Iowa

After struggling with infertility my husband, Luke and I were so thrilled to learn we were pregnant with our first child. We did all the things expectant parents do: We read the books, signed up for classes, decorated the nursery, kept a journal with entries we wrote to our cherished first child throughout our pregnancy. I read and sang to the baby and Luke, a music lover, played a variety of his favorite artistes to my growing belly. My baby shower was planned and everyone was excited and the count down was on.
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/455.html

Danielle
Mom to Baby Miscarried July 3rd, 2003
and Baby Lost in the 2nd Trimester on October 9th, 2005
I am writing about my losses in hopes that I may find some sort of closure. I have the most difficulty with my second trimester loss. It has been nearly 5 years since that day, and I still don’t like to talk about it. Here goes…..
July 2003 – My husband and I hadn’t been trying to get pregnant but we weren’t exactly preventing it either. I took a test on 7/2/03 and to my surprise it was positive. I can remember sitting at my mom’s and as I was telling her my good news, I felt a cramp. I went to the restroom and saw that I was bleeding pretty badly. Since it was my 1st pregnancy and I was young, I figured that I had just miscarried and left it at that. I bled for a week or so. I cried when no one was around. I kept hearing…you are young….no worries it will happen….maybe it was for the best. I can’t imagine how that is true but sometimes people don’t know what to say so they just say the wrong thing.  We went on with life and in December found out we were pregnant again. Abram was born in August, he is a wonderful child.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/368.html

Yvonne
Mom to Matthew Christopher Joye 
 Born on January 10, 2003 and died on January 11, 2003
Dublin, Ireland
My name is Yvonne Joye, I am 41 years old and eight years ago we lost our fourth child and third son Matthew, 24 hours after his birth.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/329.html

Kristin
Mom to River Christian, full term 4/8/03
Blaze Canyon, full term 10/30/06 – 11/01/06
Miriam Beth, miscarried at 14 weeks 3/25/07
August Finn, partial molar pregnancy at 10 weeks 1/31/08
Benicia, California

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/08/160.html

Priscilla and James
Parents to our three angels
Jacob Tyler, September 4th, 2003 (stillborn at 21.5 weeks)
Jordan Skye, April 21st, 2006 (miscarriage at 7 weeks)
Olivia Hayden, December 14th, 2009 (stillborn at 36.5 weeks)
Olympia, WA

My husband and I have been struggling with the loss of our three children for nearly seven years now. We got married in August 2002, and knew right away that we wanted a family. Six months later, we decided we wanted to make that a reality, so we went off the pill. Just a month after trying, we were excited to find out that we were pregnant! The morning sickness was absolutely awful, but I didn’t mind, as I was too excited about having that child 9 months later. Aside from that, the pregnancy was going well up until 21 weeks. The following is the story told by my husband of what happened after that…

The experience of Jacob:

It’s amazing what shock can do to a man. The confusion it nails into your mind. Driving my wife to the hospital seemed like such a long trek. The heartbreak I felt could not be compared to anything I have experienced before. All the hopes my wife and I had were being flattened by the wheels of our car as we drove that warm and haunting morning.

She called my name out from the bathroom. I woke up in a daze. She fearfully told me that her water broke. I frantically searched our apartment for an emergency number to call. I was in a stupor. I could not believe the horror that was about to unfold. We quickly fled out of town to the nearest hospital. The next day my unit was preparing to deploy to Bosnia. The moment was too surreal to explain.

When we arrived to the hospital, the nurses laid her down on a bed to examine her. The diagnosis was not hopeful. After my wife was moved into a room, I left to quickly eat some breakfast. I knew my day would be long and I needed some sustenance. My stomach was full of grief. I could barely eat anything. I so desperately wanted to be with my wife. I stashed my dishes away and made my way back to her room. When I was in the room, I locked myself away in the bathroom. My pain began to flood my chest, which poured through my mouth and eyes. I wept. My several years of walking with God led me to believe He had a divine reason for all this horror. But I could not imagine what it was for.

Several days crept by. I still held out hope for God to bestow a miracle on us. So many people destroy their babies in the first few months of pregnancy, but yet we could not wait to hold ours and he was tragically taken from us. Every year babies are dumped into the trash, some given away, and others are born to a substance addicted mother who recklessly became pregnant through irresponsible sexual behavior. But we had to let go of our son. My wife and I were so proud of him. He hung on for two days before his fragile little body gave out, too exhausted to keep fighting. He was so strong. I know he would have been a wonderful son. All he did was move and kick inside his little home. He would have been mischievous and active. We will never get to see our dog steal his toys. I will never sit down with him and teach him the love of God. My wife will never hold our son when he gets scared from the thunderstorms. My wife and I will never find our son sneaking our dog into bed with him to protect him throughout the night. We will never gaze into his eyes as he tells us he has found the woman he wants to marry with the same excitement we had when we discovered we were having him. And we will never get to watch his amazement when he is expecting his first child.

We named him Jacob Tyler Moore. It has a ring to it. It sounds strong. It has personality. Yet it is tender as well. Qualities we found he possessed as we were in the midst of losing him. We will never forget him. And it is only by grace that my wife and I can move on, but never get over his death.

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/94.html

Jennifer
Mom to Rebecca Lee Hartling-Thompson
Stillborn on October 30th, 2003 at 27 weeks
Oak Harbor, WA

My first pregnancy was amazing – I went through it without a single care in the world – I was 20 years old and expecting my first child – I was engaged, we were happy. October 27th 2003 my world ended. A normal doctors appointment showed a heartbeat he couldn’t find – that afternoon it was confirmed that my child had passed away. We began the process to induce my labor and at 21 years old now (my birthday is in September) – I delivered on October 30th 2003 a beautiful 1lb 14.3oz baby girl named Rebecca Lee. Rebecca never got to see my face but I saw hers and can still picture her to this day and she is forever a part of my life.
I was young – I was naive – I never thought anything could happen to my baby. I don’t want to scare people with the thought that there baby may die but people need to realize that after 12 weeks you aren’t safe anymore. I thought I made it past 12 weeks and I was safe. There is really NO SAFE point in a pregnancy – no one told me about kick counts – no one told me that my baby could die. I had no idea that stillbirth existed till I met my daughter.
I am now the co-host of a stillbirth board on Justmommies.com and I am educating people as much as I can about my daughter. My daughter is my daughter and will forever be part of our lives. I have since had two beautiful boys since losing her – spent 6 weeks in the NICU with breathing issues with my son Benjamin and then was asked if I wanted to terminate Logan at 18 weeks gestation due to Partial Agensis of the Corpus Callosum – I chose to keep the pregnancy and he is perfect with no issues and has a full corpus callosum.
I would love to be able to share my story with the world – educate people on stillbirth and the importance of kick counts. There are so many ladies that I have made incredible friendships with over the last 7 years since losing Rebecca that I would never have gotten to meet had she not came into my world.
You can contact Jennifer at Jenniferthompson.whidbey@comcast.net

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/67.html

April
Mom to Chris
December 17th, 2002-March 1st, 2003
Lost to SIDS
Waterville, Maine

I woke up on March 1, 2003 to knocking on my front door. Still sleepy eyed, I walked to the door without checking the time. My mother had come over to drop some things off. I let her in, still not aware of the time. She sat down and asked where Chris was. I looked at the clock and realized he had not been awake in 7 hours, and that is so much longer than he’d ever gone before without eating. I immediately went to his room to check on him and as soon as I saw him, I knew something was wrong. He slept on his tummy, and instead of being in his normal sleeping position, he was face down, with his arms stretched out at each side. I didn’t check him but instead picked him up right away.

He wasn’t breathing and he was luke warm, his skin was very ashen. I ran him out to my mother screaming to her that he wasn’t breathing and she took him from me and began CPR. I called 911 and in between begging them to help us and pleading not to let my baby die, I gave them my information. They stayed on the phone until the first responders, fire fighters, arrived. They took him from my mother and stated that he was in full arrest. They took over CPR and as soon as the ambulance arrived, they ran him out of the house, leaving my mother and me behind.

I went outside and sat in my driveway, crying. They did not let me into the ambulance, or tell me anything. The Sherrif’s deputies arrived an had to question me. Silly questions like where I worked and what my social security number. Nobody told me a thing. The ambulance left while I was still being questioned, and I still knew nothing.

We were finally able to leave for the hospital, 5-10 minutes after the ambulance left. The drive seemed to take forever. I watched everyone else out on that Saturday, going about their shopping, with their families. I felt so angry at them, how dare they drive around so happy and carefree when my world was crashing in. We got to the hospital and we were escorted to a private room, where my father met us. We still knew nothing, other than they were working on him. A nun came in (Catholic hospital) and tried to console me, but ended up making things worse by telling me that I was still young and I could always have more children. I still didn’t know if my baby was alive or dead. I just nodded silently. She was interrupted by a nurse coming in to speak with us, and she left.

I was asked if I wanted to go in and see him. I said yes, and as soon as I walked in, I had hope. He was no longer the ashen color, but he was pink again. I was scared, his tiny body had wires and tubes, and there was a needle sticking out of his chest. As soon as I got close enough to see his face, the hope disappeared and I knew he was gone. His eyes were open a tiny bit, and I could see them unmoving, just a fixed, blank stare. I saw the way his mouth looked with the breathing tube down his throat. I’ve never been able to erase that look from my head.

They took us out and within a few minutes, the doctor came in. He explained that they had been working on Chris for some time, with no response. He never started breathing again and his heart never started beating. They needed to know when to stop breathing for him. I wanted to be in there when they stopped so I could say good-bye. I went in and there were only two nurses now, everyone else had cleared out. They were still pumping his oxygen. I walked to him and told him how much I loved him. I stroked his cheek and held his hand. They stopped pumping and began to unhook him from everything. I looked up and saw one nurse with her head turned, crying, and trying not to show me. They asked if I wanted to hold him. I did. They wrapped him in a blanket and I sat in the rocking chair in the room, and rocked him. I patted his butt and kissed his head, as if I were putting him to sleep. I told him I loved him over and over.

It wasn’t long before my father came in and told me I needed to go. I still regret agreeing with him. I handed him to my father, who is a hospice nurse and familiar with the hospital, and I left. I walked down the hall, crying, without my baby in my arms. I was walked to my mom’s car and my first thought was how I needed to call into work. I did actually call them and tell them I couldn’t come in that day, and when asked why, I flat out said that my son just died.
I walked around in a daze. I went to Wal-Mart and to Walgreens that day. I carried his blanket and often cried just walking through stores.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/35.html

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