Laura
Mom to Braelynn Marie
Died November 7th, 2007 at 20 weeks gestation due to a heart condition
Newark, New Jersey
After years of infertility, 3 early miscarriages, and 2 cycles of ivf, I finally got pregnant with the twins… I was a nervous wreck my entire pregnancy.

Then, three years ago November 7th, we lost our daughter Braelynn to a heart condition.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/11/576.html

Katie

Angel #1 Stillborn at 20 weeks on November 18th, 2009

Angel #2 Late miscarriage at 14 weeks on October 14th, 2010

Angel#3 Late Miscarriage at 15 weeks on March, 25 2011

Draper, Utah

November 15, 2009…That was the last day of my life that I could truly say I’ve been given an easy hand at life with only minor mishaps and nothing really bad has ever happened to me.

My husband and I met for the official ultrasound the morning of November 16th, so excited to know the gender of our baby. Wondering if our streak of same gender luck was going to change. Honestly, I didn’t really care all that much. The ultrasound tech started looking at the baby and said, “I’d like to see some movement here,” and she shook her ultrasound wand, shaking my tummy. Very quickly she moved to the heart. I just stared at the screen with a blank look on my face. I knew exactly what I was seeing…the absence of a heartbeat. I was too numb to even cry, but in retrospect, I was at least grateful the ultrasound tech was upfront with us and told us straight out the baby was no longer alive. My husband and I were truly in shock and were advised to check into Labor and Delivery that evening to get labor underway. [Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/11/556.html

Jennifer
Mom to Aidon William Pointer
December 12th, 2006
Marshall, Missouri
My son Aidon was born at 20 weeks on December 12, 2006 at 5:40pm. I had 4 first trimester losses in the years before I was with my husband but I was clueless to a lot of it then. I would find out I was pregnant then miscarry. 


[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/11/555.html

Cara
Mom to Kensley Angel
Born Sleeping May 28th, 2010 at 20 weeks
Fort Worth, Texas
My husband and I found out we were expecting on January 24, 2010.  Scheduled our first doctor appointment for February 5, 2010 where we found out I was six weeks along with an expected due date of October 6, 2010.  We were very excited as our oldest was 5 and ready for him to have a sibling.  I was very sick this pregnancy, and completely drained of any energy I had early on.  I started leaning towards a girl because I had all the “textbook” signs of a girl.  In mid April, we went in for our routine 16 week checkup and opted to do the QUAD screen.  It all started going down hill from here. 


My results came back high risk for down syndrome (1:207) and open neural tube defect (1:297), and referred to a high risk doctor.  Although I couldn’t help but panic when I received these results, there was still a very low probability that our baby had either one.  We had our appointment with the specialist and level II sonogram scheduled for the first week in May.  We were so excited to get to see our baby again, and hopefully find out what we were having.  The level II sonogram showed a very healthy baby girl!!  The doctor did not see any other markers for down syndrome and ruled out any possible open neural tube defect…what a relief!  However, she did notice the baby was measuring 10 days smaller than normal for her gestational period of 18 weeks.  My doctor did not seem concerned about it yet, and just said we would monitor the baby and hold off on changing the due date.  When I got home later that day, I really started to become concerned.  I was exact with all my dates as far as my last menstrual period and when I took my home pregnancy so there was no way we could push out my due date.  I had come to the realization that she was indeed measuring smaller.  I had comfort in knowing that my regular 20 week anatomy scan ultrasound was coming up in two weeks and hopefully she would grow some more.  Heading into my 19th week, I started noticing I hadn’t felt her move in a couple days.  I still wasn’t feeling her move consistently yet (just the flutters and butterfly’s) so I wasn’t too alarmed.  I decided to get out my doppler to check her heartbeat and then everything would be fine… or so I thought.  I couldn’t find it right away, or ever again for that matter.  As I headed into my 20 week appointment I was still hoping for the best, but had this feeling that something was not right.  Then on May 24, 2010 as I lay on the table, I hear the doctor utter the most painful-earth stopped moving-dagger in my heart words I have ever heard,  “There is no heartbeat.”

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/536.html

Jodie
Mom to Jasper
Stillborn September 2nd, 2009 at 20 weeks
My name is Jodie and last September 2nd 2009, i had my beautiful baby son Jasper at 20 weeks, he was stillborn. It has been just over a year and i still cry for him , i still long for him and i still feel empty without him.

 

 I am an insulin diabetic so i have always known that i would most likely never have children , or if i did there could be major complications, but it was a risk i was willing to take. Before my first son Jakson was born in 2004, i felt very blessed to have a very healthy child in my arms. He was a dream come true as before he was born i had suffered up to 5 miscarriages. Even though he came a month early , he was still completely healthy.
 

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/10/399.html

Carla
Mom to Miscarriage at 10 weeks, May 2001
Miscarriage at 6 weeks, November 2001
Delia lost to Anencephaly May 30, 2010
Kent, Ohio
 
My husband and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary in January. Our first year together we lived through 2 miscarriages. A missed miscarriage at 10 weeks in May, and another miscarriage in November at 6 weeks. We were worried that we would not be able to have children so we asked for tests to find out what was happening. I was diagnosed as having a MTHFR mutation and lupus anticoagulant disorder. We were told a daily shot of heparin should prevent any further problems. We were terrified to try again… so we waited, and then 4 years later and lots of needles in my belly, we had our first child. Sophia was born healthy and perfect after the longest 9 months I could imagine. Another 4 years and a switch to Lovenox, we had our second little girl, Polly.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/326.html

Shali
Mom to twin daughters, Skylar Kerrie
and Sierra Rose
Born sleeping on November 23rd ,2006 at 20 weeks
Colcord, Oklahoma

My name is Shali. On November 23, 2006, I was 20 weeks pregnant with twin girls. I was having a routine appointment and had brought my boyfriend, and younger brother and sister with me to see the girls on the ultrasound.


My OB/GYN came in and started the ultrasound, He wasn’t talking much and I could tell something was wrong when he set me up and told me that I needed to go across the street to the hospital and have a radiology tech take a look..I was already in tears..My brother and sister were confused and I called my mom to come get them. I had the radiology done and when the tech left the room, I knew. The hospital sent me back to my OB/GYN,at this time several of my family members were there.

My doctor took me to a room and explained that there was no heartbeat, for either of the girls, the cord had a knot in it.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/273.html


Natasha
Mom to a baby lost to miscarriage, May 2009
and Emmalyn, born at 20 weeks on June 19th, 2010
Indiana
We decided that we would not have children for the first five years of marriage. We wanted to have time to enjoy each other and the ability to go to the store late at night…to go to a movie without thinking about it…to just get up and go. We were married in May 2007. Quickly after marriage, our “plan” went right out the window. I caught “baby fever” quickly. Family and friends seemed to be having babies left and right. At one point, there were seventeen people pregnant!  We decided to start trying in April 2008. 
 I went off of the pill in April and we tried to get pregnant with no results except for frustration. I scheduled an appointment for March 2010 to discuss with my OB what our options were for our apparent fertility issues. Two days before that appointment I discovered that we were pregnant. I had bought a card a year before for him that described how to diaper a baby based on a baseball diamond. I finally got to use this card! I remember him standing in the kitchen repeatedly screaming, “Are you serious?!!” He was so excited. WE were so excited.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/09/209.html



Rebecca “Dee”
Mom to “Angel”
Lost to Renal Agenesis at 20 weeks on September 4th, 2009
Atlanta, GA

After eight years of dating, my husband and I finally tied the knot. I got pregnant the first time my husband and I even “tried”, on our Honeymoon in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. I knew I was pregnant from the moment it happened. I just had a feeling. I took two tests that were negative, but missed my period and tested a few days later and got a positive! We were SO excited!!! My dream in life is to be a mother. This was the most exciting thing I have ever experienced in life (besides our vows & wedding). I was going to be a Mom!!! I didn’t have a single bout of morning sickness. Other than the occasional hormonal/sleepy/grumpy issues, life was good. I was eating a lot, walking a good bit with my husband. Planning, thinking, dreaming of our future and of our child.

At 12 weeks it was discovered that I had gestational diabetes. My OB found it so early that she decided that I must be pre-diabetic. Finally, after several weeks of waiting to find out what to do, a dietician called me from our hospital. She was amazing! She sat with my husband and I for hours and showed us how we could manage my new lifestyle. I was bummed about not being able to indulge in every craving that pregnancy enticed me with, but I knew we would work it out. I have so many people supporting me, my husband, my family, my OB, my dietician, my friends.

At 17 weeks we had our ultra sound for the anatomy scan, and we were so excited to find out the sex of our little baby. We were then told that my fluids were extremely low. We were politely ushered out and sent directly to a specialist. I first met with a sonogram specialist that didn’t have any good news, and then Dr. M, who had nothing to tell us but that my amniotic fluid was low and that I needed to start planning for termination. I was told that it could either be a tear in the sac (which may or may not repair itself), the baby could be lacking kidneys, a bladder or have some sort of blockage, or it could be a genetic issue. When I asked him what he would do if he were in my situation, his answer was “Well, I am not a woman.” We hated him from that moment on and wanted a second opinion. We weren’t scheduled to come back for several weeks to see if there could be any change in the fluid levels. I was given an alpha-fetoprotein (AFP) blood test to see if I tested high for chromosomal abnormalities. Dr. M then instructed me to basically be on bed rest and to not travel. I then spoke with my OB and she told me to “Go, take it easy, and go be with your family on vacation.”

I went to the beach the following week with my family. I drank a gallon of water every day, took it easy, kept my sugar numbers where they needed to be, and just tried to enjoy my time with my family, my husband, and the special little baby inside of me. I would stroke my belly and pray every moment that I had. I thanked God for giving me these 4 precious months with this baby. I begged God not to take it away from me. I just wanted to hold him or her while trying to decide who he or she looked like. I wanted it to all work out. I would do anything to make it work. I prayed knowing that there was a huge chance that it may not work out, and I tried my best to be optimistic.

When I got back from a week in Florida, I visited my OB to go over my sugar numbers and found out that my AFP test came back normal. There was nothing chromosomally wrong with my baby. I also got to hear its little heartbeat, and it was normal. It gave me so much hope. My belly even seemed to pop out a bit, I was officially 18 weeks and I was starting to show. Lots more praying, tummy rubbing and “come on baby” ensued…even my husband was in on it.

The following week, I was 19 weeks pregnant and met with another specialist in the Atlanta Fetal Maternal Medicine group, Dr. Y. I instantly trusted her. She gave us the horrifying news that our baby had a fatal birth defect, renal agenesis. Bilateral renal agenesis is the uncommon and serious failure of both a fetus’ kidneys to develop during gestation. Most infants that are born alive do not live beyond four hours. She told us that in our case it was not genetic, that it was like lightening striking– a stroke of bad luck. She hugged me. She gave me every bit of info that I needed. After speaking with Dr. Y, my husband and I felt very confident about how we needed to handle the situation, the loss of our baby, our child. This is where it all begins, or ends…

My choices in my state at 20 weeks with a baby with a fatal birth defect were to:

A. Continue the pregnancy, and deliver at the earliest that I could. Make funeral arrangements. See my dead baby, hold my dead baby.

[Read more…]

http://facesofloss.com/2010/07/49.html

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